Chapter 44: Emotional indifference

Chapter Forty Four
Until the end of the audition, Xie Ning still stared at Sheng Shisong with bright eyes, completely ignoring the darkened face of Zhuang Yan next to him.
The meaning of Xie Ning's eyes could not be clearer to him.
Many directors basically have this look when they meet actors who make themselves full of inspiration.
There are even directors who have created a script specifically for the actors.
When it comes to an artist, that is the look in the eyes of the muse.
The light of creation, the source of inspiration.
Zhuang Yan expressed his dissatisfaction.
Generally speaking, only a short period of audition is enough.
But at best, Song was the person that Wenxin pushed.
When the peak season Song finished all the clips, the surrounding applause was very appropriate.
In the prime of the time, the play is fast, and the play is fast. When the performance is over, he puts away the sloppy temperament and puts a gentle smile on his face.
Xie Ning looked at the novelty, but couldn't help but glance again.
His mind is full of inspiration now, if it weren't for too many people, he would like to fly back to the computer and draw it right away.
Everyone was very satisfied with Sheng Shisong's performance, only Zhuang Yan snorted.
In the prime of time, Song asked very gracefully: "What does Director Zhuang mean...?"
Zhuang Yan pondered for a while: "I have to think about it again."
The people all over the room looked over, even Xie Ning's eyes widened.
This is not satisfactory, it is so demanding.
Fortunately, Zhao Yang knew what kind of temperament he was, and he had a picky eye. He pulled his sleeves and asked, "Why are you still not satisfied?"
Zhuang Yan replied leisurely: "Skills are enough, but feelings are not enough. Relying on a few small movements to support the character, the eyes are not enough."
He didn't deliberately make things difficult in the prime of time.
Sheng Shisong's performance method is a typical method, in terms of emotion and experience, it will definitely not reach the standard that Zhuang Yan wants in a short time.
Zhao Yang remembered his picky energy and couldn't help but roll his eyes: "I can't figure out feelings for a while, and after a few days of experience in the group, it is probably almost the same."
Zhuang Yan thought about it, but didn't refute it.
Seeing that there was a play, Zhao Yang whispered a few words to him, so he finally nodded with restraint.
Wang Congliang quietly wiped the sweat off his head and muttered to the person next to him. After killing him, he would no longer cooperate with Zhuang Yan.
There is no director in China that can do it like this.
"I haven't seen enough?" Zhuang Yan asked in a deep voice, sitting beside Xie Ning with a blank face when the people were almost scattered.
Somehow, Xie Ning was a little guilty for some reason, and his voice squashed: "It's still, it's okay."
Zhuang Yan felt that his stomach was full of knocked vinegar bottles, the sourness overflowed, and he could smell it from afar.
Song is so handsome in his prime, isn't he even better than him?
Xie Ning was still holding his hand, and seeing that he was not talking, he couldn't help asking: "Are there paper and pen?"
He was afraid that the inspiration would flash away, so he just wanted to find a piece of paper to draw it on first.
Zhuang Yan didn't move, so he looked at him in time, raising his eyebrows: "Have you really found your muse?"
Shainin blinked blankly: "What muse?"
Zhuang Yan lifted his chin to the door: "The one who just left is loose in prime time. You don't get inspiration when you see him."
Xie Ning looked at the door, then looked at Zhuang Yan with a strange expression, and then hesitated for a while and asked: "Are you... jealous?"
Zhuang Yan: "..."
Although it was true, he was inexplicably discouraged when Xie Ning said so.
Xie Ning could not laugh or cry.
But this kind of Zhuang Yan made him feel a little more real.
He couldn't help leaning over, fearing that Zhuang Yan was really angry, and hurriedly explained, "It's not what you think."
Zhuang Yan looked down: "You have been staring at him since he came in."
Xie Ning: "Normal people see celebrities... don't they always look twice?"
Zhuang Yan complained again: "You kept watching him during the audition."
Xie Ning widened her eyes innocently: "Everyone was watching him during the audition."
Zhuang Yan: "...you are still watching him after the audition."
Xie Ning: "I don't have one."
Zhuang Yan raised his eyes and glanced at him, coldly snorted: "You will be inspired when you see him!"
Xie Ning was even more confused: "...you brought me to the audition, didn't you just come for inspiration?"
Zhuang Yan: "..."
He was full of sullenness and was stuck in his stomach by Xie Ning, and there was nothing to say for a while.
Xie Ning couldn't help laughing, and buried his head in Zhuang Yan's neck.
Zhuang Yan took a deep breath: "You still laugh!"
Xie Ning held back a smile: "It's not what you think..."
Zhuang Yan stared at him for a while, and asked, "What's that?"
Xie Ning said: "You know that I used to draw game original paintings."
Zhuang Yan said softly, "Yes."
Xie Ning asked: "Then do you know why I want to switch to the film and television industry?"
Zhuang Yan was silent for a few seconds and asked, "Why?"
"Because of "The Monologue"." Xie Ning said, don't open her head, and the tips of her ears became red again inexplicably. ."
Zhuang Yan's lips moved: "You mean..."
Xie Ning didn't dare to look at him. The following words were a bit unspeakable, but he still said: "My source of inspiration has always been you. I will have inspiration today. In the final analysis, it is because that is the man in your movie. the Lord."
Zhuang Yan moved in his heart and whispered, "Baby, look at my eyes and say it again."
Xie Ning flushed with embarrassment, and it took a while before he dared to look at him: "You are my muse."
Zhuang Yan's sullenness was soothed by these words.
He looked at Xie Ning for a while, sighed silently, and said in his heart: I really fell into your hands.
After the interrogation, Xie Ning blushed and climbed down from Zhuang Yan and asked, "Can you give me paper and pen now?"
Zhuang Yan helpless: "Can I still say no?"
Xie Ning laughed again.
After giving him paper and pen, Zhuang Yan fell into deep thought while watching him draw the draft thoughtfully.
Xie Ning is actually afraid of heights?
He repeatedly recalled Xie Ning's reaction at the time, always feeling something was wrong.
When I put my hand in my pocket, I felt a ball of paper.
It was the piece of paper that Ji Wenbin wrote to him that day, with his contact information written on it.
Zhuang Yan had existed in the phone a long time ago, but somehow, this piece of paper was never lost.
He remembered that he blocked Yan Xi at the door of Ji Wenbin's office that day.
At that time, Yan Xi frowned and asked for a while: "What do you want to know?"
Zhuang Yan always felt that Yan Xi hadn't said many things, perhaps out of protection for Xie Ning.
But it is undeniable that Zhuang Yan hates this.
Therefore, his tone is not very good: "It's all for this. Regarding Xie Ning's condition, you can't hide anything from me."
Yan Xi: "Doctor Ji didn't tell you, naturally it is impossible to tell me."
Zhuang Yanchong lifted his chin: "Doctor Ji also said that Xie Ning has also received psychotherapy before, so you don't know anything about it."
Yan Xi said: "Didn't I say before..."
"That Schrodinger's depression?" Zhuang Yan raised an eyebrow. "Do you think I still believe it?"
Yan Xi choked on his and rubbed his forehead. Zhuang Yan was so upset that he couldn't get through.
Old God Zhuang Yan was saying: "I don't mind spending a day with you here."
Yan Xi was silent for a while and asked, "Have you heard of... emotional apathy?"
Zhuang Yan was taken aback: "Emotion...indifference?"
He shook his head honestly: "I haven't heard of it."
Yan Xi glanced at him and turned away: "This is what Xie Ning's last counselor told him."
...
【Apathy】
Zhuang Yan really didn't know what it was.
He later checked on the Internet what is emotional apathy, and the online explanation is:
【Lack of reaction to emotions, slowness, lack of interest in people or things, no sense of responsibility, not caring about people, and dislike dealing with people.
Even the closest family members cannot establish a true and deeper emotional dependence with them. 】
Zhuang Yan always felt something was wrong, but couldn't tell.
He asked in his heart: Is Shaining like this?
The information on the Internet was not very clear. After searching for a long time, he found the confession of a patient with emotional apathy on an unknown website.
What kind of experience is it to suffer from apathy?
Patient A: I don’t have any feelings for anything. It doesn’t matter if others praise me or scold me for slandering me, it is nothing to me and I don’t want to respond.
I have no experience of birth, old age, sickness, death, happiness, anger, sorrow, and joy. I rarely experience mood swings, and my heart seems to be stagnant.
When a loved one passes away, the first feeling is not sadness, but thinking "Am I going to cry at this time".
There is a happy event at home, the first feeling is not to be happy, but to think "Am I going to laugh at this time".
So my crying and laughing do not represent sadness and joy, but my consciousness is like a processor, I feel like what I should do at this time, so I react as normal people should have.
Occasionally, I feel confused and scared, and feel that I am so terrible, but this feeling is also faint.
Patient b: It doesn't matter, don't care, refuse to be moved.
I don't like to socialize, and I don't want others to notice me. After getting along for a long time, others will find me very cold.
The most indifferent to relatives is probably because the relationship is too close and I don't know how to respond to this feeling.
Patient c: The biggest problem is the handling of feelings.
I have been in love a few times, but only I know that from the beginning to the end I have not given any emotions, not wanting, but powerless.
The person in love is like a toy to me, it feels very novel, even if I break up, I will not feel sad.
When a lover says he loves me, I can also reply "I love you."
In fact, there is no fluctuation in my heart.
Zhuang Yan closed the webpage blankly.
To be honest, he didn't believe it very much.
...
Xie Ning was still drawing the draft attentively.
Zhuang Yan rubbed the ball of paper in his pocket, took out his cell phone calmly, and texted Ji Wenbin.
[Hello, Dr. Ji, this is Zhuang Yan. If it is convenient, can I take some time to chat on the phone tonight? 】
A few minutes later, Ji Wenbin replied.
The author has something to say: 　　 because a little angel suggested that a ethical psychologist should not disclose the patient’s condition to anyone. I didn’t consider this point before as a mistake. Dr. Ji is a professional psychologist and would not commit this. mistake.
So I changed the plots of this chapter and chapter 40, and changed it to Zhuang Yan's emotional apathy that he learned from Yan Xi.
Thanks for correcting Fupin Chinese