Chapter 1: Everyday I wake up, my girlfriend tells me to break up

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"Grey ... Onychomycosis?"
Shen Yan was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, and was poking her mouth with a stick . Suddenly found a dirty thing on the fingernail of the left middle finger.
He quickly stopped brushing his teeth, washed the water and scrubbed hard ... but the gray and black still stubbornly clung to his nails. No, it should be said that the gray spot is obviously the color of the nail itself.
"I remember that onychomycosis was an infectious disease, wouldn't this be true?" After a little fright, he let his sleep go away. "But it looks really gray", after Shen Yan repeatedly checked and confirmed to wash and check again and again, he had to admit a cruel fact that the nail was not dirty with something, but it was real It becomes gray, and the color distribution is very uniform ...
His ears sounded like a middle-aged man gloating and hysterical shouting: "I got onychomycosis, a contagion! To ask how to cure, use XX sooner or later! Ah ~ XX sooner or later!". No clearer memory of the advertisement, and gave him a hard blow this unhappy morning.
"Maybe only the nail color turned gray, not necessarily the onychomycosis." Shen Yan luckily said to himself, knowing that the possibility was not high. But then I think that today is clearly weekend but still have to work overtime-and still go on a business trip abroad! The mood is even more frustrating.
"My life ...... Alas, there are too many unlucky things to encounter, and the ups and downs of life are not clear." He began to complain habitually in front of the mirror. Perhaps it is practice that makes perfect. That tone needs more vicissitudes. Many vicissitudes, "God, you old people can't do well, try to pay attention to others? Get out of your narrow and closed social circle to benefit more people of all kinds-is it always interesting to stare at me alone?"
"I'll ask if it's interesting!" At this time, the basin was full of water. He finally shouted in the mirror as a concluding statement, and then a fierce man plunged his head into the water. It was not until he couldn't hold his breath, he raised his head with a "ha". Then he shook his head vigorously like a lion, throwing wet drops of water on his temples everywhere.
Just when he looked at the mirror how admirable, handsome, and not enough to look at.
The toilet door was pushed open from the outside.
"What are you doing, Shen Yan? It's procrastinating." A tall, fair-skinned young woman wearing only a small inner body all over her body rushed in with a pair of hazy eyes. She didn't even care about Shen Yan who was standing in front of the mirror. She bypassed him directly, pulled Xiao Ninai down, and sat directly on the toilet.
"Uh ~" The blossoming little water flowers that burst on the instantly made her beautiful little face wrinkle into a bun!
"Shen Yan, you made the water all over again!"
The woman Xingyan accused, she shook her fist slightly, not knowing whether it was because she was too angry, or whether the coldness had not dissipated. But with the cool blessing of fart, she also freed herself from the dormant entanglement. Then there was an unstoppable, embarrassing pour ...
Shen Yan grinned and fled from a flash in the toilet, and behind him came his girlfriend's angry battle roar, "Shen Yan, I want to break up with you! Break up!"
"Yes, as long as you are happy." There was a feeble answer from outside the toilet. Then there was the sound of heating up the breakfast, packing up the backpack, and finally, in the utterance of
prohibiting door-to-door interviews after breaking up, remember to lock the door when leaving
, someone hurried to work.

"Xiaofang, I want to break up with Shen Yan!"
Looking at the back of Shen Yan who hurried to work from the window, his girlfriend was mad! Actually don't apologize? She bite her toothbrush and took out the fruit phone. She cracked and called her girlfriend. As soon as the phone was connected, she began to complain, from snoring when Shen Yan went to bed, and not washing her hands after going to the toilet ... Of course, the most important thing was to abuse her ass. The other end surged.
After a few minutes, there was even snoring on the phone.
"Xiaofang!"
"Sister, do you know what time it is now?" Crazy shouts came from the phone, "People work overtime until early in the morning, and you just called after you fell asleep. If you harass me again, I will have irregular periods. what!"
Opposite is also a female man. If you change to an ordinary person, if you hear such a bear, there will probably be a big drop of cold sweat on your forehead at the moment.
But is Shen Yan's girlfriend an ordinary person? She has obviously been immune to the toughness of girlfriends for a long time. She came out of the toilet, put the hands-free mobile phone on the table, and stretched out her small claws to grab the breakfast buns, while reluctantly replied, "It ’s okay, the general is not painful. If you are really blocked, just let My family ’s Shen Yan will let you know. I ’ve approved this matter.

"Really?" The voice on the opposite side instantly rose eight octaves, apparently coveting her family's Shen Yan not for a day or two.
"Dream, little bitch! I've seen you through a long time ago, and you will be tempted out after seeing me." Shen Yan's girlfriend bite the bun halfway, "Stubbornly, if I break up, I will also cut that one. Take it down and will never leave it to you. "
"Cut, take this again and foolish me." Seeing that there were no seams in the egg, the other side suddenly lost energy, and lay down lazily again, "No need to preach everywhere, I also know that you are a psychopath ... All day knowing to show off you The home-made fresh meat is handsome and practical. Do you have anything to say other than this? "
"Hee hee, do you envy you?"
"Envy ... A fart! You do n’t think of an IT female migrant worker who is always working on a 996 all day long, working overtime until early in the morning, so that the skin is not good, the face is haggard, there is no emotion and time, no men can be hooked up, and no man can talk to him. Is it a very cruel thing to say this? "The other party seemed to add something awake," Are you treating me like a tree hole or a girlfriend? "
"Ahaha ~ who makes you dazzle cars, dazzle houses, dazzle wages all day long, you get tens of thousands of salary per month, marry a handsome handsome husband, I also envy you."
Is there a difference between tree holes and girlfriends?
This question cannot be discussed, nibble on the buns, and change the subject immediately. "I tell you, this breakup may become real," the little face biting the bun is wrinkled into another bun. "My mother said that Shen Yan looks good. What good is TF handsome. She thinks that Shen Yan has no money, and wants to send me to study abroad, to marry an overbearing president or something ... My mother has been living younger and younger recently, and she has begun to watch the heroine fight for her. "
"Haha ~ Your mother turned out to be TF! It's so funny. I laughed to death." The opposite "tree hole" was poked with a smile, so happy that the bed was rolling, and he continued for a long time. "Yeah, your family ’s Shen Yan is a small civil servant, who takes a salary. But even so, your mother is too wide? Everyone is a young man. How can he conclude that there is no future at all. Do you know? Tell your mother that you are divorced now and will hit your face in the future. "
"Take that small print, our family's words are big civil servants." Shen Yan's girlfriend followed her girlfriends silly and didn't feel anything wrong with her mother.
"Do n’t listen to your mother, civil servants have low wages but stable jobs. They have a lot of time to take care of their families, let ’s say they are on the career path! When your family ’s Shen Yan becomes an official, your children can drive luxury cars in the future. When you are in trouble, you will say, "Who dares to catch me, my dad is Li Gang", and ask if you are handsome or not! "
"Your child's surname is Li," Shen Yan's girlfriend quickly picked out the slot, because she was too familiar with each other's character.
"I'm afraid he has no hope for his official career ... Alas, I tell you, I quarreled with him halfway because of this. My old Shen is too unmotivated! I go home to play games after work. And he has a good face. He does n’t give gifts to the leaders during the New Year and New Year. I am worried that he can only be a small civil servant for a lifetime. Just a few years after graduating, it ’s easy to fool. My mother will definitely turn his face over time. . "
"In-laws ... There are too many words in this word. In fact, men are like this. They are very naive just a few years after graduation. When they have encountered setbacks, they will be a few years old." Said, "Furthermore, isn't the fresh meat in your family boasting 'specialty' ... you last said that the leader of their unit was a woman? The necessary sacrifice, um, you know."
"Bah! Disgusting! I won't let my old Shen touch the old woman! I'm in full 360-degree security, and I want to hit my old Shen's idea, not to mention the door, there are no windows! Don't talk about leadership, girlfriends are all No. "
"Don't pull me on ... wait, why are you like stepping on your tail? Won't you be caught by me?" The girlfriends on the opposite side were suddenly sleepless and prepared to listen to a big gossip. Unspoken rules, this must be unspoken rules! The thought of the girlfriends all day bragging about "the old Shen of her family" was going to be unspoken, she was so numb with excitement! I can't sleep anymore. The only regret is ... It would be nice if the unit leader Shen Yan was a handsome guy, two beautiful men like that, 100% perfect.
"It's not talking," Shen Yan's girlfriend lay softly on the breakfast table, leaning her face against the phone.
"That woman has a husband and works in the capital ministries and commissions. I heard that the future is promising ... but the key to the problem is not here! The problem is, you know, her father is the mayor of our city, she is afraid of leisure at home I came to work when I was sick ... You said that she had a good life but she had to work, she was not an idle Mimi! You do n’t want to bully men and women, do n’t pretend to hit your face, no Going to travel around the world, not hoarding real estate, even if Mimi really hurts, would you like to go to the capital to accompany your husband, which kind of civil servant! Sitting in the office all day will know hemorrhoids! "
"Ah?" The girlfriends heard a dumbfounded expression, but there was no hidden rule? Since there are no unspoken rules, why are you so explosive?
"Ah, you know you didn't understand it. I told you that, unlike enterprises, their business units have a radish and a pit, and they are decaying! Since the mayor Qianjin has occupied the position of section chief, he doesn't want to go forward. No matter how good the people below are, no one wants to be promoted unless she waits for the day she does n’t want to work. If you want to transfer to another department, you need a way. Of course, holding her thigh is the same way, but my family Old Shen is not willing ... I am not happy! "
"Huh, that's a snowy golden thigh." The girlfriends snapped her mouth, suddenly realizing that there were so many places to vomit in the middle. "This is not the case, Xiao Yu. Look, now your old Mr. Shen already has an arrogant and big-breasted girlfriend and a mysterious and elegant girlfriend, and then a head boss who is the mayor of Qianjin ... and he actually has two parents Dead, no car, no room! How can I smell the decay of the ambiguous web of the urban harem? Could it be that your fresh meat still has a hidden identity as a soldier king? "
"The killer! I just want to ask, who is the" mysterious and elegant girlfriend girlfriend "you said?" Shen Yan's girlfriend's vomiting is always as sharp as a flying knife and can poke people's hearts and lungs along the radio waves.
"... Chen Xiaoyu, do you know that you can't make friends like this?" The opposite side vomited blood three liters, allowing me to secretly boast that you will die? I ’m already complimenting you with your big breasts! Hum, there is absolutely no curse that droops quickly.
"Then what do you say I should do?" Change the subject quickly, otherwise you will stage the headline "Girlfriends turn their backs on the streets and kill each other on the street."
"Come on, men are like monkeys, they have to cultivate conditioned reflexes. For example ... Every time he improves, you unlock a new posture to reward? After a long time, you'll be trained." The emotion expert without a boyfriend said.
"Raise your hand."
"Good boy, ask."
"How to break the posture when it has been unlocked?"
"... hang up the phone! My aunt is here, distressed, and need more rest." The empty, lonely and cold single IT woman has to be forced to stuff dog food. How can this day go on?
"Don't, dear, I won't make trouble again." Chen Xiaoyu begged for mercy again and again at the half bowl of porridge on the table. "Honey, do you continue to say, except this one?"
"... then you, you can make suggestions afterwards. According to the analysis of psychologists, it is said that after finishing things, men have a slight sense of guilt towards women in addition to wanting to sleep. At this time, women make requests, as long as Not too much, and generally satisfactory answers can be obtained. "Emotional experts transferred to gender experts to go online again.
"Alas, I can't use this method."
"why?"
"At that time I was playing fireworks, and my consciousness was all blank."
"Beep--" The other party's phone has been hung up, and the single dog said he was eating and he didn't want to take care of you again.
"Oh, Xiaofang, you are really useless, and you still have to use the old method!" Chen Xiaoyu dropped his phone, grabbed the last bun in the bowl, and counted the buns. "Breakup, no breakup, breakup, no breakup, breakup ... then break up for a while, it's all for God's sake." She found a piece of paper and wrote a breakup letter with open teeth and dancing claws, and finally did not forget to indicate-
"If you dare to mess around during this time, I will cut you when I come back! (Drawing scissors)"
So it broke up.
As for breaking up text messages? Of course it was time to send it to him before boarding the plane-when he couldn't make a phone call, he couldn't find anyone, he didn't think about tea, he didn't want to eat, he regretted when he got wider, he knew how important I was Chen Xiaoyu La!
The plan is perfect!

Modern men and women, together warmly, free and easy.
What's more, Chen Xiaoyu originally planned to have a short holiday, and think about it while stimulating someone, so she doesn't need to hurt the spring and the fall-she is even a little proud. I simply packed up my belongings, and I didn't even take away my toothbrush and toothbrush. I dragged a stylish trolley case and left the community. She and Shen Yan bought most of the things in this room. They really broke up. She had to call the moving company.
Chen Xiaoyu walked on the road, still not forgetting to call his girlfriends, and tweeted to describe how smart and clever he was, how resolute and determined. To the end of the phone, the girlfriends with dark circles wanted to die. Chen Xiaoyu, who patronized the phone, didn't find it at all. At the same time she left, as many as a dozen black SUVs came from several main roads, gathered around the community, and put all the main roads of the community Blocked a clean one.
A large group of people in black suits got out of the car. They put their hands in their pockets and took a tactical squad toward the residential building where Shen Yan lived.
"That cohabiting girlfriend who seems to be the target, do you want to control it?" Someone asked in the car just across the road from Chen Xiaoyu.
"No, we only have one goal." The other person resolutely rejected his suggestion. "In the drawing room, outsiders will die at any time, don't do any unnecessary actions. Always remember ... God, staring at us!"