Chapter 1045: I dare not see you through ...

It seemed as if a heavy load had been taken off his shoulder, and I saw his expression relaxed.
It's just that it's a little helpless, and it's a little bit dazed.
He looked up at me for a long time, but did not speak, and did not even have any refutation of my judgment, just looked at me like this, his eyes were even gentle as always.
For a long while, he said softly, "Green baby."
"..."
He called my name, and touched my cheek, but I wonder if it was because he stayed in this room too long, or two people were too close together, and his hands were full of cold sweat When he touched my skin, there was an indescribable sticky feeling that made me a little shudder.
"When did you doubt me and didn't believe me?"
"..."
"When you went out to sea?"
"..."
"When you marry me?"
"..."
"It's your first time when you meet me in Jinling."
I looked at him silently, looked at him for a long time, slowly, and said a little bit hard: "while in the palace."
His face changed slightly, and it immediately seemed to remind him of something: "I remembered it. That was the time when I disposed of the He Qingzhou family. After that time, you started to be afraid of me, didn't you?"
I looked at him and said nothing.
"But this is a common occurrence. Which of the princes in the palace has not severely punished the convicted official? Even the fifth child, he was a murderer when he was in Xi Datong; Pei Yuanzhang made the imperial city blood for the throne. It's a river! You've seen it all with your own eyes. "As he spoke, his tone became more and more heavy, and his tone became higher and higher:" Why, why are their vicious means acceptable to you, but justified? fear me?"
"..."
"Why are you guarding me from start to finish?"
"..."
"Since you have been guarding me, why are you telling everything now? Don't you know that you are still with me and the wonderful words are still here?"
"..."
"Don't you be afraid--"
I looked at the face that was still pure and immortal until now, but maybe because of emotional fluctuations, the corners of his eyes were slightly red, and I leaned on the back of the bed a little cold sweat, but still sat calmly In front of him, motionless, only the hand holding the silver lock was tightening constantly, holding it tightly, and the hard lock piece was slightly painful against the palm of his hand.
At this moment, Pei Yuanxiu suddenly felt something. He suddenly stood up, but before he had to react in a hurry, he heard a noise outside.
He turned, walked out a few steps to open the door, and heard a few guards coming in from outside. When he reached the door, he bowed down and worshiped, "boy."
"What is it?"
"Just now-we at the dock saw it, saw the girl in the inner courtyard, and crossed the river with Miss Miaoyan!"
"what?!"
"It's true. They don't know what happened, but they are worried that it was the wife and the son who explained it. They were about to go up and ask, but they were pushed back by one person, and Miss Miu Yan and the little girl took Jiang!"
"Who is it ?!"
"It seems to be a centurion in the camp, the one named Gu Ping."
Suddenly, the outside sounds calmed down.
And the stone in my heart fell to the ground completely.
After a while, I heard a creak, and the door was closed. Pei Yuanxiu turned and walked over. His face was completely pale. When he looked at me, his eyes were even red. He came to the bed and sat down, slowly approaching me, feeling his breathing hot and long, but it seemed to be mixed with Mars, and almost burned me when blowing on my face.
But I still looked up calmly, looked into his eyes, remained unmoved.
The coquettish words have gone, and I have no fear at all.
"Why did you send her away?"
"..."
"Do you think I will use her to hurt you?"
I nodded my head and shook my head again.
He frowned slightly and looked at me in confusion, and I thought for a moment and said, "Yuan Xiu, I remember when I came to Jinling to find the wonderful words, you asked Han Ruoshi to take her to the temple to worship the Buddha. For a long time. And at that time, you already knew that I was going south, and people were in Yangzhou. You even sent someone to look for me in Yangzhou. Do you remember this? "
His face sank slightly.
Obviously, he did not forget it, and I will not forget it, just because he let the wonderful words go to the temple to worship the Buddha. I had no choice but to stay with him and wait for the wonderful words to come back, and because of this, the wonderful words met Pei Yuanfeng's attack was rescued by Shen Xiaokun, and a series of incidents occurred later.
He said deeply, "You said, you have forgiven me."
"I do forgive you," I looked at him lightly, "but that doesn't mean I can accept it."
"...!"
"You should know that Miaoyan left me only a few months old. I was detained in the palace for so many years. I refused to give up and insist on leaving the palace just to see her. At that time, I was already in Yangzhou. You also sent someone to look for me. You should know that I may be found by you at any time, and you can understand that the urgency of a mother who wants to see her daughter. "
"..."
"But you actually sent her away."
"..."
"In order for me to stay with you for a few more days, you sent her away when I could meet her right away."
"..."
"I've always been grateful for the wonderful words you saved and the kindness of her upbringing to her over the years, but I'm really scared. I'm not afraid you hurt me because you won't do it, I just fear you use her, I I'm afraid you will use her to keep me by your side. "
He sat in front of me, and his pale face seemed to have frozen.
I said, "That's why, at that time, although I took her away from you, I didn't dare go far, but stayed in a place you can control, Jixiang Village."
"..."
"As long as I don't go far and stay within your control, you won't be angry or do anything to us."
"..."
"I know that at that time Gu Ping came to Jixiang Village once a month to take care of us and do some heavy work for me, but more importantly, they came to look at us to make sure I didn't leave and didn't plan to leave. "
That year was actually a tug-of-war between me and him. He asked Gu Ping to do something for me, but he never offered me any assistance in life because he didn't want me to After leaving him too smoothly, he hoped that I could return to him; and I, I hope that time of the year can make him figure out, and I hope he and the Han family sisters can have a result, so, I can completely escape his control.
Just didn't expect that that night, that arrow, broke that tug of war.
Today, this arrow completely broke the window paper of me and him.
I looked at his pale, almost chilled face, and said softly, "I'm not able to accept the methods of Pei Yuanfeng and Pei Yuanzhang. It's just that-Pei Yuanfeng kills people like hemp because he is a general, in order to protect his country and his country. , Mercy is not in charge! And Pei Yuanzhang's fierceness, he is so natural, and he never hides it. Although I am afraid of him, I also see him clearly. "
He looked at me: "What about me?"
"..."
"Can't you see me?"
I was silent for a long time and trembled, "I dare not see you through."
...
After saying this, the surroundings calmed down.
For a moment, even the wind stopped, and the candlelight had been swaying in the wind before, and it seemed to condense at this moment. The faint candle light shone on his half of his face, leaving his other face in deep shadow in.
Even so, I could still see his eyes, and that gentle gaze kept looking at me.
I don't know how long after that, I heard him speak, and called my name softly.
"Green baby ..."
"Ok?"
"Green baby ..."
He called again and looked into my eyes deeply, and said, "Why can't you be confused?"
"..."
"Even though, just a little."
"..."
I didn't resist him in the slightest when I heard him say this, because I have asked myself this many times before, and at this moment, I even felt that he was right.
Why can't I be a little confused, even a little? Even if-a little compromised?
So, can my life be much sweeter?
But the next moment, I looked up at my shadow reflected in his dark eyes, small, thin, pale like a ghost, but always so clear, and I suddenly understood it.
I ca n’t be confused, and I ca n’t even compromise.
If I am confused, the person who met him in the Tibetan Cabinet at the beginning will not be me; I will not let Pei Yuanzhang remember, and I will not have everything that happened after that. I will go out of the house in peace, and marry an ordinary, honest man, but this man will never be the former Liu Saner, and now it is cold.
If, I am a little confused and good at compromise ...
I looked at him and smiled suddenly: "If I am confused, the person in front of you will not be me."
"..."
"If I'm confused, even if only, today, now, you don't have to say this to the person in front of you."
"..."
He looked at me silently for a while, and suddenly, also smiled.
With that bitterness in the smile, he said, "Yeah, you're right."
"..."
"If you are really confused ... you will not be you today, me, or Pei Yuanxiu today."
He said, sticking my face with the cold palm, rubbing my cheek lightly with his thumb, and smiling, "But it's just, it's just, I'm to you--"