Chapter 1319: I thought about it, kill you!

"Lightness ..."
After yelling, his voice was dumb all of a sudden, as if something was blocking his throat, he couldn't say a word, so he looked at me so quietly.
In fact, not only was he at a loss at this moment, but I was at a loss.
I have never been a person who likes and is not used to complaining. I have been beaten to seek benefits. It is not taken for granted. I can't swallow such benefits. If it was n’t for a while, I was questioned by Miaoyan. These words, I I used to bring it into my coffin, and I wouldn't say it at will.
Who knows, he heard it as soon as he said it.
I'm a little helpless, why did I just hear him?
What am I? Behind the scenes? It was directly reported to the face.
Thinking of this, I chuckled a little, but did not know whether to laugh at himself or what, but he heard my laughter, but like a death prisoner heard his verdict, and even his breathing was tense, Holding my hand harder.
"Lightness."
He called again.
At this time, I slowly lowered my head and watched his face half-lit by the moonlight.
His face is still the same as in the past, not thin but with sharp edges, and the outline of his eyebrows is still flying. He is still a very handsome man, and his love has not disappeared because of the passing of time, and he has become the father of several children. It became indifferent. On the contrary, time gave him more preferences-although I know that in his identity, even if he is seventy and eighty, with white hair, and even a full brain, he will not lack the love of women, but he is still a For a man with great attraction for women, at this moment he is more calm and restrained, and more fatally attractive than the young and vigorous and perverse man.
How long have I not seen him carefully?
He stared at me for a long time, feeling that I had some erratic eyes, and did not immediately recall my mind, but looked at my eyes, after a long time, he called me softly again-
"Lightness."
This time, I smiled slightly in my heart.
Yeah, let him hear it.
Let's just talk.
If there is any concealment and any involvement between him and me, maybe it will entangle our future. From the beginning, maybe it should be like now. I tell the truth, he listens to the truth, even if he Really killed me in the fury-death, isn't it the kind of relief I once asked for?
So I said gently, "Do you have anything to tell me?"
I said so, but he was silent.
The dark night made many things disappear, but made the silence between the two people clearer and more dignified.
I don't know how long it took before I heard his hoarse voice in this silence, slowly ringing—
"Hey, in fact, the person who believes most is you."
"..."
"But he is most afraid of trusting you."
"..."
I believe most, but I am most afraid to believe me ...
This sentence was incoherent and inconsistent, I listened, but could not help but smile bitterly.
His eyes were heavy and he looked at me: "Do you understand?"
I shook my head first, but after a while I nodded.
I know.
Every kind of contradictory mood, I understand everything.
I have also experienced this kind of mood, experienced such conflicts and struggles-I was in love with him at that time, but I was also afraid that I would fall in love with him with all my heart.
Everyone knows that falling in love with your heavy makeup, wealth status, and power of heaven, the tired and vicissitudes of the talent behind the mask is true love, but no one is willing to take it out easily, he can't let it go, I do the same, because we are People, it seems that the city is extremely deep and unpredictable, but this beating thing on the chest is softer and more unbearable than ordinary people.
It is also because our injuries are often more fatal than ordinary people.
So he covers it, and I cover it.
He thought I was fake and I didn't believe he was real.
So, I remembered the sentence that I left the Lenggong cell and was taken by the queen queen into the Linshui Stupa. He said to me-"Why, not crazy?"
He had long guessed that I was a tribute to the court from Xichuan, and I had long been conscious. I came out of the Hongyan Tower with a body and a woman with an unknown number of lives in my hand. Being locked up in the cold palace and suffering a little bit is probably a very light punishment for them.
Moreover, in the eyes of everyone, I assassinated him and stabbed Nangong Lizhu.
Looking at my indifferent eyes, his chest was violently undulating, as if there was something he wanted to say impulsively, but he was suppressed again and again by himself, I felt that his words were still, He slowly raised his eyes and looked at him, seeing that his eyes were red, and there was an illusion of tears in the moonlight.
After a long time, he said, "At that time, I really thought you were pretending to be crazy because you lost Lier and because you hated Li and hated her. During the time you lost your memory, I asked people to check. Check, the more you find out that your identity is not ordinary, I ca n’t believe you, and the more I fear that I will get closer to you.

"..."
"Well, I really thought about it, just kill you ..."
"..."
"You are free, and you are free."
I smiled slightly: "Why don't you kill me?"
"..."
He looked at me for a long time and said, "Hey there is only you."
"..."
"The nations around the world are endless, and there is only one you."
"..."
"I'm not afraid to kill you, I'm not afraid to kill anyone. But I'm afraid that in the future, I will never see you again without you."
I laughed again.
Yeah, death is death, not the same as being locked up. Lock me up, do n’t think about it, do n’t think about it, but as long as you think about it, you can still take time to look at it in the cold palace, even if it ’s crazy, it ’s still there; but dead is different Bit by bit decay, the memory dissipated little by little, even if he is really rich, if you ever see me again, you can only dig out a dead bone.
So, he left me, and memories that I can't dissipate for more than two years.
What can i say
It ’s good to be alive after all. If it was n’t for the kindness of his mind at that time, how would I find Lier later, reunite with my daughter, and spend those happy moments? How could I see Liu Qinghan again in the other hall, and how would I know that love had another look.
The night was cold, even though his hands were tightly squeezed into his palm, there was an indescribable chill that slowly penetrated into the skin, until in my heart, I gently pulled the hand out of his hand slowly, This time, instead of holding on to me like he's ever done before, he was in the sweat and let me take out my hand one by one.
However, when my hand finally got rid of his uncle, he reached out and covered my hand again.
There was no hold, no restraint, it just caught my hand.
When I breathed, I looked up at him subconsciously, and saw his gaze staring at me eagerly, as if something was inflating in his body, and even breathing was a kind of oppression. sense.
He said, "Why don't you ask?"
"what?"
"Ask--ask-- ''
The words were what he said, but at this moment, even he himself couldn't speak a little, and the sound of a throbbing heartbeat passed from his chest to my body.
He said, "He wants to tell you everything, but why don't you ask?"
"..."
I thought about it and smiled lightly: "All right, I ask."
"..."
"Your Majesty, when did you know that I was crazy, not by pretending to be, but by being designed?"
His expression was frozen.
I didn't wait for his answer, or even wait for him to recover from that moment of suffocation, and smiled lightly: "Actually, not just now, right?"
"..."
"You just learned that I was lynched in the cold palace and murdered secretly. It was only just now that I know how I survived the cold palace. But the truth of my madness is not just what you just knew.
"..."
"Before Jieyu Yuwen was stabbed, you had people searched in the palace, and you also found some medicines that would make people crazy."
"..."
"At that time, you already knew that, didn't you?"
"..."
He held his breath, his face pale and bloodless, and in the moonlight he looked as if there was no trace of hot ice, and the hand on the back of my hand became cold for a moment.
This was his first time, avoiding my eyes.
He lowered his head, as if he didn't know what he could say or do, but he was stubborn and put that hand on the back of my hand.
The palms are completely cold.
He didn't know how long before he dumbly said, "You hate me?"
I shook my head lightly: "Actually-don't hate. I just want to tell Her Majesty, I don't hate, because I know that mood well."
"..."
"Over the years, apart from the decree, Your Majesty's news, I don't care."
"..."
"It's not hate, it's not afraid of knowing, it's just--it's not about yourself."
"..."
"I say this in order to tell your Majesty that I know the difference between 'love' and 'no love'."
"..."
"It's not the person in your heart, it's heartbeat, it's heartbeat, it's really nothing compared to her."
"..."
"When you love her, pet her, believe her, and even be unwilling to accept the fact that she is not good, because she is the one you love, the one who loves her, and she is born to protect her."
"..."
"No one can resist this nature. Even people like you choose to lie to yourself."
"..."
"me too."
I looked at him with a smile, but felt that there was a period of fever in the eye sockets, a period of soreness in the nose, and slowly the tears that came up blocked my throat, and the voice was sour that I could hardly speak. I could only laugh and blur Said: "When I love you, I have always deceived myself-you will be nice to me; you won't let me wait for you like other women; I don't need to fight for pets, I can also get your pets; I treat you, It's special ... "
"..."
"But before I fell in love with you, I knew it was impossible."
"..."
"It's because it's impossible, I've been resisting you, and I've been reluctant to accept you."
"..."
"I deceived myself that way after I fell in love with you."
There was a clattering noise in the dark. I didn't know what it was, but I felt his face blurred for a while and awake, and he heard the sound on the back of his hand and felt the heat on the back of his hand. Cold and wet, looking up at me, those eyes were like tormenting in hell, and the tear-like pain was clearly written in front of my eyes.
He called me: "Lightness ..."
I said so much in one breath. At this time, I was a little bit out of breath, sitting weakly and breathing. In these words, I don't know how many years I have been in my heart, and I don't know which corner in my heart has almost decayed and rotten. It should have been brought into the coffin, but it is still today, at this moment, all told him.
Yeah, that ’s it.
I don't owe him, he doesn't have to owe me.
It ’s like what I said to Miu Yan just now-love is not a shame, and I am not ashamed that I forgot to love this man, no matter how much shame and pain he has given me, but when in love, I It ’s happy. When Yangzhou and him calculated those treacherous merchants, my heart was satisfied; I was proud to listen to his generous speeches on the cold wind feast and the Qingshui mat; even in the harem, every night When he was sleeping in his arms, I was happy.
But these are memories.
Remembrance is remembrance. The pain and happiness in remembrance, no matter how vivid, have no power.
At this time, I felt that he slowly let go of my hand, but those hands slowly reached me, holding my thin waist, he leaned into my arms and hugged tightly After I lived, I buried my head in my arms.
His breath, his heartbeat, passed to my skin and my blood through my shirt every time.
I even felt his slight trembling.
It seems that the soul is also suffering some torture, which makes him painful, but unspeakable.
This time, I did not struggle, let him hug me so tightly, let him hug my soul's life-saving straw like a lonely child.
Night, in this painful embrace, little by little passed.
I don't know how long it took, I heard his dull voice, sounded low-
"Lightness."
"..."
"If I say that now, is it too late."
"..."
"For the rest of my life, I only knew that I had fallen in love with her, and I have loved her. Other people, how to fall in love and how to fall in love, I don't really understand."
"..."
"I thought I didn't have to understand it."