Chapter 1551: Can't you decide, can't you be cruel?

He refused so neatly, but left me with nothing to say. For a moment I stood in front of him and looked at him like that.
Mr. Ma was very calm and said to me, "Missing a hard day, it is time to take a good rest."
I said, "It's just that there are some things that haven't been resolved. I can't sleep even when I lie down."
"Miss, are you hesitating about Pei Yuanxiu?"
"……Ok."
"If you have any hesitation, don't make a decision first; if you have made a decision, don't hesitate. Miss, think about it."
"Ok."
"I am leaving."
After speaking, he turned around and left without looking back.
I'm still standing still, more astounded than just now.
Speaking of which, it is probably a generation that is not as good as a generation. I, as a mature man, is far from being as decisive and decisive as this old man who is old age. He is doing things in a muddy way, probably watching them, but also lamenting me unfortunately. I don't argue.
Hearing my helpless smile, Susu stepped forward: "Miss, what's wrong?"
"It's all right."
I just shook my head, and then went out. She hurried to follow, and said, "Miss, are you going back to rest?"
"Do not."
"Then let's--"
I looked back at her and saw her staring at me with wide eyes. She looked helpless like a puppy and was cute. I knew she was worried that I might go to see Pei Yuanxiu. And I just smiled at her and said, "Let's go and see the old lady."
"Oh, look at the old lady," she exhaled, "OK, that's good."
"..."
I couldn't help but smile a little, turned away, and she hurried to follow up.


When I went to Xue Yan's room, it was almost dark, and lanterns were hung under the eaves. Although I know that the candles in such a small village are very expensive, and ordinary people are reluctant to light a candle even at night, but after all we are here, and the people in Gantang Village cannot afford to be extravagant.
When I arrived, Aunt Hong came out of it with a basin of cold water in her hand.
As soon as she saw me, she immediately came forward: "Miss! I just heard them say, and then those people started to do it. Miss wasn't hurt?"
Before I had time to speak comfortably, Susu said immediately: "Relax, the young lady is blessed by the bodhisattva, nothing at all."
Aunt Red was suspicious, and looked me up and down for a while, convinced that I was really not harmed, so she said gently: "Amitabha, Amitabha, just fine."
I laughed and asked softly, "How is the old lady?"
"Older, frightened and a little bit hot."
"Ah? Did you call the doctor over?"
"I've seen it, but it doesn't matter, I just have to rest quietly."
"So, then I'll--"
I was about to say I wouldn't go in and disturb her, but who knows that the people inside had heard it, and from inside Xue Xue's weak voice came: "Is it light?"
As soon as I heard it, I hurried, "It's me."
"come in."
"……Hey."
Aunt Hong nodded at me, saying that she didn't care, I was invigorated and I walked in.
There was a faint smell of medicine in the room. It should be just a short time after drinking the medicine. I saw Xue Yan lying on the bed with a soft pillow under his head. She is always full of majesty, and she does n’t even mess up her hair, but at this time, it is inevitable that some of her hair will be scattered, and she may have just rubbed her face with water.
However, her face was sallow and weak, but it gave people a touch of closeness.
I walked over gently, stood by the bed and looked down at her: "Master Mother ..."
She raised her eyelids to look at me, and looked up and down just like when Aunt Hong was just outside the door. She probably had a low fever, and her eyes were shining. When I looked at me, each eye seemed to have some desire. Complaints are sour. I looked for a long time, then nodded gently: "It's okay. It's okay not to be hurt."
I said softly: "Mother ..."
She raised her hand and pointed at me with forefinger: "Sit down, I look tired."
"Ok."
I sat obediently to the edge of the bed, and she saw my caution and care, a bitter smile on her face, and said, "From childhood to age, you have been most afraid of me, have you? ? "
I nodded and shook my head again.
She said, "Well, do you hate me?"
I was silent for a while, still shaking my head.
She chuckled and said, "I'm not as good as you."
I said softly, "My mother, she once told me, ma'am, you have your own suffering."
Xue Yan froze slightly, and smiled after a long silence, the light in his eyes flashed more and more suddenly: "She knows me."
I didn't talk anymore, I just looked at her so quietly, saw her smile for a while, and then looked down at me, her face was slightly dignified: "Do you know, actually I- I didn't really hate her. At first, I never thought about hating her. "
"..."
"I know that things like feelings are countless. Even if I have loved your father for so many years, but if there really is someone in his heart, even if he digs out his heart with a knife, it will not save him. heart of."
"..."
"What really bothers me is that she treats your father like that."
"..."
"I love him so much, a person I love so much, why is it nothing when it comes to your mother?"
"..."
"She's always light to him, laughs lightly, and talks lightly, as if your father couldn't even arouse her feelings."
"..."
"Your father, heroic and horrified, such a shocking person, such a person is so good to her and gave her everything, and even-in order to marry her, left me on the Xitang, almost by your grandpa, Your grandfather was kicked out of the Yan family. Such a person did everything for her. What could she be so dissatisfied with? Why did she-- "
She was more and more excited, her chest was constantly undulating, and her waxy face was a little red. When she was here, she was even a little out of breath, she stopped barely, and then looked down. Me: "Your father paid so much for her, why is she not touched at all?"
"..."
Compared to her excitement, I was very quiet, even a little faint. When she finished speaking, I looked up at her again, and my eyes were faint.
I thought about it for a while and then said gently: "Because, she is not you."
Xue Yi froze.
I originally wanted to tell her--in fact, the person who is extremely important to you may be nothing in front of others, just like the mother of each of us, not the mother of everyone in the world, can have Respect, but the extra feelings will probably not be squeezed out. However, I can't say this when I think about the time when my mother and father were together.
I paused and then said, "My mother, she is such a person."
"..."
"She has experienced too much and too much bitterness. Therefore, her feelings cannot be as intense as those of your mother."
"..."
"Even she is like that to my daughter. Does your mother forget it?"
"..."
Xue Yi was speechless for a moment, just staring at me, as if remembering the scene that happened that year.
After a long time, she exhaled softly.
I whispered again: "Also, since the mother understands that emotional matters do not count first come first, then why bother to pay more, and who pays less?"
"..."
"I think that my father's contribution to my mother is like the adult mother's contribution to my father. Is it fair that the other party must also do the same? Is this transaction fair?"
"..."
"Mother Mother's persistence over the years, is she willing to pay for that person, or is it for a fair?"
Xue Yan was dumbfounded by my question.
She slowly lowered her head, and under the light of the candlelight, the face that had appeared to be particularly thin was even older at this moment, even like a ghost without an owner. For a time, all the way out, the way back, as if all disappeared, Let her become more and more confused.
The two of us were facing each other in silence. I did n’t know how long it was before she finally looked up at me, a smile of faint relief appeared on her face, and then said, "You see better than me . "
I also smiled slightly.
And she went on to say, "But you see so well, but you still have problems you can't solve."
I froze and looked up at her, and she chuckled again, and said, "Isn't it? Didn't you come to see me to avoid the problem you couldn't solve?"
I said, "Master Mother ..."
She immediately said again, "I know, you must have wanted to come and see me, but I was right about that, didn't you?"
"..."
This time, I was speechless.
People seem to be like this. Once the shackles in their hearts are put down, many things can be seen more thoroughly than in the past. In fact, it is not that the surrounding environment has changed, nor is it how much they have changed, but it is because of-the heart, clarity.
At present, she had such a sense of clarity in her eyes, and a faint smile on her face. Although she was old and tired, she had an indescribable kindness, and even the suffocating gas in her usual days was diluted. Then, slowly disappeared, she looked at me and said, "I heard that Pei Yuanxiu and your uncle Wu wanted to take action and be held by you—by the man under Liu Qinghan's hands. It's locked now. "
I nodded.
She said, "Actually, shouldn't you just look at them now, or say, try them?"
"..."
"But you came to me and spent a long time with my wife."
"..."
"You don't want to go, and you are afraid to go."
"..."
"Because of something, you can't decide and you can't be cruel, can you?"
"..."
I couldn't speak, I just felt that with her words, my heart became heavier, and even made my heartbeat difficult, I said gently, "Mother ..."