Chapter 1758: End and beginning of destruction

"As long as one is absolute, there will be no pain; as long as he forgets, he will be relieved."
I don't know why, it was already numb, but when I heard this sentence, I felt a little bit sour.
Maybe it's because I have had such struggles and pain before.
I have to tell myself that in order to survive, I have to do everything, no matter how much pain I have to bear. Although I did n’t do it absolutely, I did n’t completely forget, but I have experienced such struggles and despair.
So I said softly, "Yes, I killed someone."
"..."
"I, of course, is not a saint. Of course, when I die, I will certainly not be slaughtered."
"..."
"When people want to live, they have to fight against the people, things, and things that put themselves to death. At that time, survival is the most important thing. To kill someone in order to live is to put it on anyone, not It would be an abomination. So it is not impossible to kill. "
His eyes slowed slightly: "Light."
"But," I looked up at him. "Not indiscriminate."
"...!"
I heard him take a breath, and I slowly said, "Yes, all people in high positions will inevitably have such a past. Everyone can't be spotless in the dusty world. But all these No excuse or forgiveness means that you can kill innocent people. "
"..."
"You think, as long as you diligently love the people and become a benevolent monarch after you ascended the throne, then no one will remember your previous killing. How long can you forget, bloody, how long do you need to flush? At the entrance, Yangzhou was blood-washed. Until now, the people in Yangzhou have not forgotten that massacre. If it was not for that massacre, or for the generations of Yangzhou people who have remembered the hatred for generations-"I have a stubble in my throat, I just felt that tears were gushing out, gritted his teeth and reluctantly said, "How can the officials sent by the court to Yangzhou die one by one?"
"..."
His eyes were a little painful, and after a while, he slowly said, "Why do you stop me from slaughtering the city?"
"..."
"Aren't you trying to destroy my way? If I were in Yangzhou Tucheng, wouldn't more people hate me and more people overthrow me?"
"..."
"Why don't you do that?"
I looked up at him.
Indeed, what he said is not unreasonable. I really wanted to ruin his way. In the most painful and helpless time, I also thought about gritting his teeth and simply let him go on like this. If step by step into despair, it is the beginning of the end and destruction.
but--
I lowered my head and said lightly, "No matter what way you go, no matter what I want to do, it's better to suffocate in the city, or less."
After saying this, I seemed a bit weak and didn't speak again.
And he didn't speak again.
However, I felt that painful and tangled gaze, after hearing my words, in such ice and snow, there was a little bit of warmth.
He took a step forward, and the umbrella in his hand trembled slightly, followed by a spatter of snow falling from the top of the umbrella, rising in succession, and blowing to the face with the wind, bringing a coolness.
I thought he was going to say something, but he didn't say anything, but just wrapped my waist around with my other hand, which prevented me from subconsciously moving backward.
Then his lips gently touched my forehead.
Originally in such ice and snow, my numb skin suddenly touched the soft, hot lips, and the touch stimulated me a little, but he stopped all my movements and retreats, but also Without going any further, I just put my lips on my forehead, like this hug, this kiss-like touch, to end our conversation.
He pressed against my forehead and said indistinctly, "You know why I can't always put down on you?"
"I do not know."
What if I knew it?
He chuckled, his eyes seemed to be behind me, wondering where he was looking, so even his tone became a little hesitant.
He softly said, "I don't know."
"..."
"But I always do that, and I can't let go."
"..."
"Lightness, today's situation, I'm sinking into mud, the retreat is broken, and I can't turn back."
"..."
"I seem to do the same to you."
"..."
"Light, if one day I can let go of this world, then maybe I can let you go."
He slowly lowered his head and looked at me: "You said, is there any day?"
"..."
I also looked up at him. In those eyes full of warm smiles, I did not see what he described. He was determined and convinced of the future, but only saw the darkness, as dark as the abyss.


That day, he kept holding an umbrella and took me to a room in Yuwenfu. He even thoughtfully closed the door for me outside. Everything that was ready in the room made me quickly return from the cold in the cold weather. Freed, looking at his figure outside the window, and stayed for a while before walking away.
He, no matter what he said to me, or whatever I said to him, did not seem to have changed, and was as gentle and considerate as ever.
But in the evening of that day, the atmosphere outside became wrong.
Although I didn't hear anything, no one would come to me to tell me anything, but I looked at the hurried expression of those people walking outside, listening to the anxious and messy footsteps, and some When people deliberately lowered their voices, I still felt that something was wrong.
After dark, the depressive atmosphere became more and more obvious.
The snow had stopped, and there was no sound in the whole house.
I found that Huazhu didn't follow me as usual, staying outside my door.
Of course, at this step, I would not be stupid enough to run away, so I sat alone by the window and felt the silence outside, and it was not until evening that I heard someone walking on deep snow Come to my side and look at the door, it turns out to be flower bamboo.
When she looked up at me, she also frowned: "Ms. Yan, haven't you slept yet?"
I looked at her: "What's going on outside? Is something wrong?"
"...!"
She suddenly froze.
As soon as I saw her stern look, I knew I was right.
"What the happened?"