Chapter 384: Am I merciful?

not good?
I heard these three words and seemed to understand what came to me. Huang Tianba had said: "I heard that the war in the north is tight, and the line from Yunzhong to Fengling has almost lost ground."
"What ?!" I was taken aback: "How could it be so fast?"
I have always said that the battle in the north is very tight, but no matter what, I did not expect that it would really be so fierce. In just one or two months, the line from the cloud to Fengling was about to lose ground!
Huang Tianba Shen Shen said: "He must go back now, otherwise-"
Otherwise, the North might just--
My heart beats very fast and it is chaotic.
Talk to the southern powers and get rid of the control of Sheng Jing. He should have expected this day in the morning, but he didn't expect that because of Nangong Lizhu's scheme, everything went so fast that he could only make it. Such a choice.
Only war, nothing more!
My fingers trembled so that the bowl was not stable. I looked up at Huang Tianba and looked at me with anxiety. I barely made a smile and wanted to say something, but I did n’t know what to say. In order to disguise myself In a panic, I stretched out my chopsticks and clamped a piece of bamboo shoots to my mouth.
This time, the scent of bamboo shoots suddenly disappeared, and an unspeakable nausea suddenly surged up. I hurriedly covered my mouth and vomited.
"Green baby?"
Huang Tianba stared at me suddenly: "What happened to you?"
"No--"
I vomited twice before I finished speaking, sour water was pouring into my mouth, and it felt very uncomfortable. I stooped for a while before calming down.
Mu Hua stared at me and suddenly said, "You, pregnant?"
"..."
I looked up at them a little embarrassingly, silent for a moment, still nodded.
Suddenly, her face became a little strange.
Huang Tianba frowned immediately and said to me, "You, why didn't you tell me earlier?"
I smiled apologetically.
I didn't tell him along the way, not because I didn't want to say or not, but I didn't know what to say. I left that man and paid almost the price of life, but I still could n’t get rid of the marks that he had burned in my heart and life, and now, I am even more pregnant with his child. This kind of ending even me a little Overwhelmed, what should I say?
.
Maybe it's because now that the person has settled down, and he has returned to Beijing, the physical response is rather large. The meal was not finished at the end, and it was impossible to eat. I was helped back to my room. Soon after, some people sent me a medicated diet and diet, and some taboo things in the house were also removed.
But the disgusting feeling was still echoing in the chest.
I lowered my head and looked at my lower abdomen with some weakness. The sufferings these days really aggrieved the child. When I reached out and touched him gently, I could even feel his trembling slightly.
You know how he felt when he left?
Do n’t you feel a little overwhelmed?
Slowly, it was shaking like it was not my child, but my fingers, which seemed to be extremely cold, and I could only hold myself tightly to let myself know that I was still conscious.
he's gone.
Really.
I have been hiding for so long, I was so afraid, and this is the day I was looking forward to, and this day has arrived in advance, but I was in a panic and panic, facing everything in front of me.
This walk, is everything I and him before, everything, can finally be completely ended?
He didn't even know he had such a child.
Thinking of this, I looked down at my stomach again for more than three months. In fact, my lower abdomen was slightly bulged, but it was not obvious because I was too thin, and this child, like this, lived carefully, it seems Also afraid of any change, it will make him disappear forever.
"he's gone……"
When I spoke, my voice sounded as if I was crying, but I was calm, but I felt my chest was a little empty.
This feeling, maybe I will start to adapt slowly.
he's gone……
"But I have you."
I've never been a cruel person, and I don't want anyone to taste the pain of flesh and bone separation, but after so many years, and the child who has lost it is telling me that this choice may not be Good thing.
In the imperial city, there are only monarchs and no human beings. I don't want to watch my children go that way, let alone my children. They are under the power struggle. They have no joy, and even the soul cannot be free.
The two cages of life are either trapped by love or by things. I have been trapped in the former for the rest of my life, and he has been exhausted for the latter in life. I just hope that this child does not follow in our footsteps.
"We will live well."
.
The tocolytic medicine has a little bitterness, but it also has a soothing effect. I leaned on the bedside and fell asleep unconsciously.
As soon as I woke up, it was getting late.
The servant delivered the meals and soup directly to my room. It was polite. I also used some briefly. When they packed up, the night came.
I rested for a while, and the room was still a little stuffy, so I went out to get some air.
The garden was still quiet, and the sound of flowing water seemed particularly pleasant in the night. The moonlight turned into a sparkling wave on the clear spring, shining in front of the eyes, matching the candlelight on the stone corridor, and also giving this quiet house. Added a quiet breath.
I was quiet in the night, and suddenly there was a noise from the other side.
Yes-over there.
I frowned, and subconsciously walked over there.
The candlelight was still swaying in the room, and two people were reflected on the bed. As soon as I approached, I heard Mu Hua said in a crying voice: "Tell me clearly."
"What the do you want me to say?"
"Say! Speak--" she sobbed for a long time, then said, "is that kid yours!"
"what did you say?"
"Is the child in her belly yours!" Mu Hua's voice seemed crazy, with a little screaming break, loudly: "If it's not yours, why do you care about her so much? Why should you bring her back? Every time you go out for a few months, you go to a private meeting with her, right? She didn't follow the emperor, so she followed you, didn't she? "
After hearing her words, my head suddenly exploded.
what does she say?
Does she suspect--
It wasn't just me. The atmosphere inside Jingshe froze. It seemed that even the candlelight was being held down by a heavy object, and even the flickering was no longer there. I seemed to feel Huang Tianba's almost choking torment.
After a long time, he spoke, his voice was no longer low, as usual, but with a kind of coldness--
"Xue Muhua, my Huang Tianba is in your eyes, what kind of person is it?"
My heart trembled.
This is the first time I heard that he even named his wife by his first name, and that kind of chill almost coagulated the blood of people. It was thorough, thorough, and even the soul felt no warmth. Cold.
"You tell me, what kind of person am I?"
"..." Mu Hua didn't say a word, but just kept crying.
"You said!"
I looked at the figure trembling like a leaf in the wind, and I could almost imagine how much desperate light would shine through those eyes.
"My Huang Tianba is in your eyes. Is this such a person?"
"..."
"I am merciful everywhere, I am greedy and greedy, I do not refuse to men and women who come, I am hypocritical to you Xue Muhua, right?"
"..."
"If I were such a person in your eyes--" His voice stopped for a while, but it was not speechless, but he was choked all at once, with a trembling of despair, deadlocked for a long time Finally, he slowly said, "The couple, then, we don't need to do any more."
As soon as this sentence came out, another person in the room seemed to freeze.
I also froze.
The next moment, there was a burst of crackling in the room. Mu Hua swept everything on the table to the ground all at once, and fell down desperately by picking up the surrounding objects. The whole room was chaotic and wanted one. A floodless world without reason.
However, the other people in the entire house seemed to have disappeared, and none of them came out.
I stood under the night, watching this scene, and suddenly felt that there was an unspeakable sadness.
I don't know how long he fell and how long he cried. Mu Hua finally stopped. She gasped and said to Huang Tianba: "Okay, you're finally telling the truth!"
...
"You just want to get rid of me. She is here now and pregnant with your child. Of course you want to abandon me, right?"
...
"Huang Tianba, how much did I pay for you? Who protected you when Zongmen embarrassed you? You ask your own conscience, can you deserve me?"
...
"You say, are you worthy of me?"
The room was quiet, no one was crying, no one was noisy, but this quiet but suffocating, a kind of exhaustion from the heart to the body slowly revealed.
After a while, the door was pulled open from the inside, Huang Tianba turned back stiffly and walked out stiffly.
As soon as I looked up, I saw me.
The moonlight was like ice, shining on that beautiful and beautiful face, but there seemed to be a stream of light falling from his eyes, but it was frozen in an instant, but my tears rolled like a broken bead Falling down, I was trembling with heat.
I don't know why I was crying, but watching him come out helplessly, the tears couldn't stop falling.
why?
Why is this happening?
He looked at it without saying a word, but closed his eyes slowly. After the cold moonlight completely froze the streamer on his face, he walked down and walked past me, straight Walked towards the gate.