Chapter 517: My fire has gone out long ago

Am I dreaming?
Last night in my heart, in front of my eyes, countless times appeared in my mind, and the figure that was constantly entangled even in dreams, actually appeared in front of me like this, holding a wooden bowl in my hand, and slowly walked from the hillside Come down.
His face was a little pale, his eyes were slightly grayish-gray, his eyes were a little red, and he didn't seem to be sleeping well. A thin, simple gray gown wrapped around his thin, long body, lining him upright, almost Integrating with Qingqing Xiuzhu behind him, it also makes his face more dull, and his overly thin cheeks show a dull breath that cannot be said.
He seemed to be fascinated all the way, until he was only a dozen steps away from me, and then suddenly realized that someone was in front of him, and as soon as he looked up, everyone suddenly froze.
The two looked at each other in silence.
I can't say a word.
A wind blew across the forest, and a rustling sound came from the stillness, and the wind sprayed the cold morning dew on my face, which made me a little stunned.
He also seemed to be awake suddenly, looked at me in a panic, and looked down at the wooden bowl in his hand, silent for a moment, finally raised his head, and said gently, "It's you."
His voice was still the same as before, clean and clear, but a little strange to the calm.
I said softly, "It's me."
"..."
After saying this, he was quiet again.
The two seemed to have no idea what to say. I thought about it and tried to make myself speak like an ordinary person, saying, "You got up so early?"
"Well, teacher, he wants to drink tea."
"Drink tea?"
"I'll find him water."
With that said, he lifted the wooden bowl in his hand, and I saw that there was half a bowl of clear water in it. It was as clean and clear as Wen Yu. I know that many people drink tea very carefully. Water is medium quality and mountain spring water is top quality.
I didn't expect Fu Bazhen to be here, and he was also particular about it.
Hearing my last joke-like sentence, Liu Qinghan said: "The teacher doesn't pay attention to weekdays, but he seemed to be happy when he came here yesterday. He got up early in the morning to burn incense and drink tea. Good water. "
"..."
Seeing me silent, he smiled slightly: "Here, it should be enough."
"..."
I haven't thought about it. One day, I and his goodbye need to speak like this, as two strangers, speaking ordinary greetings, have nothing to do with itching, regardless of the depth, talking in their mouths, listening to their ears, there is nothing in their minds.
However, I still want to hear his voice, which used to whisper in my ears countless nights, giving me a warm and stable voice.
"Why, only half a bowl?"
"Oh, I just met a passerby and said he was thirsty, and I gave him half of it."
"..." My eyes were slightly bent, he was still the same as before, and if he could help others, even if he was poor, he would not refuse, but-
passer?
I frowned slightly.
This large area is the area designated by the emperor. Even if I can't see it, I know that it is guarded by the Guards. It should be that even a fly cannot fly in or fly out, otherwise they wo n’t. Just let me go out for a walk, but how could a passerby appear?
Just when I was in a trance, he nodded slightly towards me: "I'll go back first."
When you're done, turn around and leave.
As soon as I saw him turning around, the familiar back to leave, I suddenly felt as if someone had shot him in the heart, the whole person was trembling with pain, and took a step forward: "Saner! "
When he heard the name, he shuddered. I even heard the sound of water in the wooden bowl, but he didn't turn back, but stopped.
I stood behind him, my voice trembling, "All these years, have you been doing well?"
He stood there, silent for a long time, and then slowly spoke, his voice was a little hoarse: "It doesn't matter if it's good, it doesn't matter if it's bad." Then, he turned to look at me and slowly said, "What about you? Have you had a good time over the years? "
"..."
"I didn't expect him to be an emperor. No wonder then, you--" Having said that, he looked at my sad expression, and didn't say any more, just asked: "Yes, what about leaving?"
As soon as I heard Lier, my heart hurt immediately. Liu Qinghan was still asking: "Lier, she should be a princess?"
"..."
"She is over three years old, is she literate?"
"..."
"Is she good or bad?"
"..."
"I want to see her. I should be able to see her, right?"
Every word he said was like a needle piercing into my heart, and it made me tremble with pain, but I didn't know how to call for help in the face of his calm eyes.
After a long silence, I finally choked and said, "I don't know."
He didn't respond for a while, looked at me shyly, and said, "Lier, gone."
"What ?!" He was suddenly frightened, and even the water in the wooden bowl swayed in his hand, and walked in front of me: "How can I not see? When will I not see?"
"Three years ago, it was taken away."
He looked at me in disbelief as if listening to anecdotes. "In those days, Lier was not with you-so many people around him, how could Lier be-"
I didn't speak, just gritted my teeth hard.
He looked at me as if he understood something and didn't say any more.
Both were silent, the wind blew through the bamboo forest, and the leaves made rustling sounds, but apart from these sounds, everything was as quiet as nothing. There was only two people in the world.
It was a long time before he opened his mouth again, his voice was a little husky: "Then, why aren't you his concubine?"
"I wasn't."
"..." He frowned slightly and stopped talking.
I said, "You don't ask me why?"
He shook his head: "I think, I probably know."
"you know?"
"Ok."
In fact, he would n’t know, I would n’t know what I ’ve experienced in the past few years, and I would n’t know why I thought that Pei Yuanzhang was my husband when I was having amnesia, but he could say these words as if he really Everything is the same, I just feel that the grievances of grievances are rising from the bottom of my heart.
I took a sore nose and said, "What about you? How did you worship Mr. Fu?"
He said gently: "I went home that day and found that there was no one at home, and even my aunt was gone. Later, I heard from neighbors that it was Yuan-it was the emperor who took her away. There was no one at home and I stayed. I ca n’t go on, I suddenly feel that I do n’t want to trap myself there, I want to go out for a walk, just leave. After walking a lot of places, no food, find a place to help, save money, and continue to walk. When I went to the mountains in the southwest, I ran out of dry food and ran out of entanglement, so I followed a monk who fetched water to help me. Later I learned that the temple was Tianmu Temple. "
"..."
"Teacher's eyes, it has been broken for more than a year at that time. I temporarily live in the temple and often take care of him. It's okay to listen to his teachings. After a long time, I can't bear to leave."
"..."
"He asked me if I wanted to worship him as a master. I said yes, so I recognized the teacher."
"..."
He said that all these years, the tone was bland, but perhaps he didn't even know how many people experienced the monstrous waves in his eyes.
Perhaps, Liu San'er has always been such a person. He has experienced the upheaval that others can't imagine, and he still dies.
He is strong by him, the breeze blows the hills; he crosses by him, and the moon shines on the river.
I said gently: "Mr. Fu is a contemporary Confucian, and you are accepted as a disciple. Your blessing is not easy."
He heard this, but smiled: "It is true that the blessing is not shallow. In the first half of the year, his hands were swollen."
"..."
"The teacher usually doesn't scold me, but there is a big monk in Tianmu Temple. He usually doesn't drink alcohol. He will bring some vegetarian wine to the teacher. When the teacher gets drunk, he will ask me to recite" Getaway "and" The Earth. " "World", hitting my hand with a ruler when he couldn't come out, saying that he only accepted three roommates in his life. I collected it myself, but it was the dumbest. "
"..."
When I heard this, I felt hot in my eyes, but couldn't help but smile.
Fu Bazhen is a well-known Confucianist in Shu land, but he learned and taught not only Confucianism, but only suffered his disciples. He was brought up and down by this teacher every day and night.
Tears rolled in the eye sockets, as if they were going to drip down. I have been holding back. The man in his vision was blurred, but he didn't change much from three years ago.
I said softly, "So, have you blame me over the years?"
"..."
He froze all of a sudden, staring at me shyly.
I stepped forward gently, trying to see him through the water in front of me, and said gently, "Do you hate me?"
"..."
When I looked at him like this, he lowered his head a little in a panic to avoid my eyes. After a long silence, he only spoke, but did not answer my question, but murmured: "The teacher once told me a The story. He said that there was an emperor who built a vast land and built a huge and magnificent palace, gorgeous and extravagant, such as the palace of heaven, but was burned by those who resisted the emperor. "
"..."
"The fire is endless in March, and the sky and the earth are discolored. Want to come, it is a terrible fire."
"..."
"But, even if it was so terrible, the fire had long since gone."
"..." My heart sank, eyes wide open at him.
"I can talk to you like this now because ..." He slowly raised his head to look at me and said, "Master Yue, my fire has been extinguished long ago."
"..."
"I have forgotten."
When I heard this, my tears dripped.
As soon as he saw me crying, he reached out his hand subconsciously, but reached halfway and suddenly woke up and froze there. My tears fell into the wooden bowl in his hand, and it sounded like a wind. Will blow away.
He and I both bowed their heads and looked at the rippling water lines, distorting the figures of the two people reflected in them.
It seems to have been twisted, it seems to have been twisted for many years ...
After a long time, he finally put his hands back and said gently, "I'm sorry."
"..." I shook my head silently, tears falling down, I wanted to raise my head and smile at him, but kept crying, I could only whisper and said, "You are not sorry to me, no ..."
"..."
"It's not good for me, it's me ... not good."
I was crying and laughing, trying to say something, I was choked and couldn't say anything. Liu Qinghan looked at me like this, silent for a long time, and gently tilted his head to one side, didn't look at me, but didn't leave , Just standing there quietly, like watching my cry.
I don't know how long it took before I finally calmed down.
A handkerchief passed to my eyes.
I looked up at him and saw him calmly looking at me. Those eyes were like the bowl of clear water in his hands. There were no more ripples, but the tranquility and gentleness made people linger.
I took his handkerchief and heard him say softly, "I'm leaving now."
After speaking, there was a gust of wind on my face, and I whispered, with his taste, but so light, so light disappeared, as if it had never existed.
I held the handkerchief and listened to the sound of his footsteps rustling on the fallen leaves, covering my face silently.