Chapter 882: Private papers can't catch fire

Yan Qinghan looked at me in amazement, but smiled lightly: "What's wrong?"
I don't think he will understand. No one will understand. I am exhausted about the past of my mother, even if I only find a little clue, it will make me a treasure.
but--
Looking up at his faint eyes, I still tried to calm my emotions and smiled and said, "Do you remember what my mother said to you?"
"Of course I remember." He laughed. "What Niangni said was very interesting and reasonable."
"Then, do you remember what my mother said to you?"
He did not answer immediately, but instead gave me a deliberate look, and said, "Why do you suddenly ask this?"
"It's nothing, just, I miss her a bit."
"..."
"The longer time passes, the more blurred her memory is, so I want to ask all those who have met her about those things about her, otherwise I'm afraid I will slowly forget her."
Yan Qinghan looked at me silently, after a while, suddenly smiled: "At least, there is something you can forget."
"..."
"I can't even forget it."
"..."
"I don't even know what she looks like."
I looked up at the pale smile on his pale face, and a sudden gust of wind blew into the hall. The white magpies were hunting and flying in the air, and I felt a chill for a moment, wincing.
He looked at me again and smiled: "Maybe one day, she really entered my dream, and I wouldn't know that she is my mother."
I know he must be very painful when he says this sentence.
It should be said that over the years, he must have lived in this kind of pain, but at this moment his face was a faint smile without even a trace of painful expression.
It seems that he has learned to hide his feelings too well.
Thinking of this, my heart could not help but burst of sourness, and said gently: "I don't want to do this, my mother-in-law."
Yan Qingchen glanced at me.
"She must also hope that she can be by your side, babbling with you, toddler, and then watching you grow up. Whenever you are sick, she also hopes that she can replace you."
After listening to my words, Yan Qingchen seemed to have a moment's hesitation.
After a moment of silence, he said, "Yeah, I believe a mother must have such expectations."
"..."
"She's not wrong, she's just-unable to bear it anymore."
"..."
I looked at his pale face and suddenly felt a little dumb.
After hearing his words, I also understand that he must already know what happened in that year, and how his mother, the originally ordinary raccoon girl, separated from her fiance, and then married into the Yan family. of.
All this, maybe in the hearts of many girls, is a beautiful story of flying up a branch into a phoenix. It is worthy of their praise and envy, even as a model of life. Maybe only those who are in it will understand the taste.
What others give may not be what she wants.
Otherwise, how could she be extinct because of a birth in such a prosperous and luxurious place?
At this moment, he said dullly again, "I think my mother-in-law is probably the same, right?"
"..." I looked up to him, and he said calmly, "I know, after you left Xichuan, she died."
"..."
"Although she was in pain, she was finally relieved."
pain?
These two words seemed to pierce me a bit, I was silent, and slowly said, "In fact, my mother may not be very painful."
"She isn't in pain?" Yan Qinghan looked at me and smiled suddenly: "Which woman would not be in pain with her experience? After all that, she should have been the wife of the Yan family, but now, There is no place to worship the spirit. "
There was a blast of flame in his shallow pupil, looking at me scorchingly: "Do you really think, isn't it painful for the concubine?"
"..."
I thought about it, and met his eyes, and said calmly, "It doesn't hurt, maybe I can't see it."
"..."
"But I know she didn't hate it."
Yan Qinghan shuddered.
At that moment, the flame in his eyes extinguished, slowly regaining the calmness and the former coldness, and even his tight body relaxed, but immediately he coughed with his mouth covered.
Those servants who had been waiting outside stepped in immediately, and gave him smooth air and medicine.
I was slowly pushed aside by these people.
When that group of people was finished in a mess, he was propped up to the side chair, his breath was weak like a hairspring, his thin chest was undulating, like candlelight in the wind.
But finally, his face returned some redness.
I stood by and looked around. He only looked up at me at this time, and smiled apologetically, "I'm laughing."
I shook my head.
"Your body is so poor, don't keep it, just go to rest."
"No, it's the last night. I want to keep it."
"But you do--"
"You can rest assured, I know my body. It's you--" He glanced at me and glanced out the door again, with a slight smile: "You should go back to rest. Your husband Have been watching for a while. "
"...?"
I turned around and looked around, and sure enough, I saw Pei Yuanxiu standing far away from the Lingtang, looking at us calmly.
I quickly went out: "Why are you here?"
"I don't think you're back so late, come and see you."
"Why don't you come in."
"Look, you are so speculative and don't want to disturb you."
He smiled, and the swaying candlelight in the hall of worship reflected on his face, perhaps because of his ruddy complexion, but it seemed warmer. I couldn't help but reach out to hold his two hands, but found that his fingertips were still a little cold.
I wonder how long it has been standing outside.
I couldn't help but shouted, "You do too."
He smiled and didn't argue, just glanced at the messy crowd in the Lingtang, and looked at me again: "Are you still keeping the spirit?"
I also glanced inside, Yan Qinghan smiled slightly at me and waved my hand, then I turned back and said, "No, I will go back with you."
"it is good."
He smiled, held my hand with his backhand, and I glanced back again, then he was obediently led back.
When we returned to our room, there was only a small candlelight in it, which made the room gloomy. I walked to the crib on the other side, and saw Lier's two hands covering her chest, and she was a little restless, and her brows frowned tightly. Then she gently opened her two hands to the quilt. Here, carefully pull the quilt up a bit, covering her chest.
Pei Yuanxiu came around my waist, put his chin on my shoulder, looked down for a while, then smiled: "She changed her teeth."
"Ok."
"No wonder she looks like that during the day."
I turned my face and said gently, "Don't mention this, she's sad."
"why?"
"..." I was silent and shook my head: "Nothing."
Pei Yuanxiu looked at me for a while and did n’t ask any more. He just smiled and rubbed my ear with the tip of his nose. His broken hair was a little bit crispy by it. Itching, I could n’t help but wince, he heard him say, Come on. "
"Ok.


One night passed.
Early the next morning, we all woke up very early, Lier covered himself in the quilt, and finally pulled me reluctantly. When I rinsed my mouth, I could feel her low mood. .
However, originally everyone's interest was not high.
Because today is the last day of the worship of Zhengjue's ashes in the Yan family.
Early in the morning, I heard the rushing footsteps of the servant girls in the inner house. We went out of the inner house and walked to the spiritual hall. In the distance, we heard many monks chanting the curse.
I was holding Lier to the other side, but at the corner of my eye I saw a familiar figure on the other side. I couldn't help but take a look, but it was Mrs. Yan. She was wearing a plain white robe with one hand around her. With a dragon cane, holding a railing in one hand, he was staring at the small heart of the lake in Qianqiu Lake.
I thought about it, and although hesitated, I walked over.
And when she heard my footsteps, she turned back.
It didn't seem to adjust her emotions. When she turned back, I faintly saw a smile on her face that was too late to fade away, but the moment she saw us, the smile disappeared.
"Is it you?" When she saw me, a look of disgust appeared on her face at once, and her original stinging eyes became proud, and her frowns became even tighter when she saw Lier beside me. Lier was a little afraid of her at first, facing her cold old woman, she flinched and hid behind me.
Mrs. Yan immediately said coldly: "The good daughter you teach is crazy all day long. There is no taboo with men. I do n’t know how to salute when I see elders!"
I thought about it and patted Lier's shoulder: "Go, salute your grandmother."
I was a little timid, but as I said, I went forward obediently and saluted Mrs. Yan.
Her face was not relieved at all, and she only looked at Lier coldly: "Even if you are not there, you still have the blood of the Yan family. Don't go out crazy and make people look down on the Yan family!"
Lier turned and ran behind me, grabbing my sleeve and stopped talking.
I turned around and saw that Pei Yuanxiu stood a few steps away, but didn't mean to intervene, so he nodded, and gently said to him, "Take the child away first."
"How about you?"
I didn't say anything, I just handed Lier's little hand to him, and Pei Yuan Xiu did not ask any more. He took Lier's hand and went to Lingtang.
Here, only me and Xue Yan are left.
The sun's light slowly moved up from below the fence, illuminating the eyes of both of us, and more and more clearly outlined her outline. For some reason, I used to think that she was so tall and terrible when she was young, but now Compared with her alone, her previous fears have disappeared, and she even feels that she is not so tall and horrible.
She was just a thin, poor woman.
Maybe she felt the soft pity in my eyes, and Mrs. Yan frowned immediately: "What are you doing here?"
"I ... I have something to tell you."
"Well, what can I say to you, a bad girl!"
With that said, she turned around and walked, holding the dragon's staff.
I didn't know why, or even the guts from there, stepped forward and said to her, "I don't think you hate me that much."
"..."
"I don't hate my daughter that much."
"..."
The sound of the dragon's cane on the ground was getting heavier and louder, like a heavy hammer on a person's heart, but even this sound could not conceal her increasingly heavy breathing. In the end, she It seems like I can't breathe, I can't walk anymore, stop and look at me.
"what did you say?!"
Looking at her sharply undulating chest, I thought about it, and eased a little bit, "At least, you don't hate my daughter, right?"
"..."
She grunted a few times and suddenly sneered: "Why, do you think I scolded her enough?"
I still looked at her calmly: "If you don't scold her, you hate her."
"..."
"She entangled Master Liu at the dinner table. It was originally wrong, but we all felt that she was too young, could not bear it, and was not in a hurry to control it too much; she liked to play everywhere, and there was no taboo with others, and it was true It's a headache for me, but she hasn't been with me since she was a child. There are some problems to deal with. I can't make her change over night, I can only slowly figure it out. "
I said gently: "You are willing to discipline her, I am grateful to you."
Xue Yan's face was red and white for a while, as if the whole person was in a mess. For a long while, she said nothing and turned back.
I stood in place, without moving for a moment.
But she took two steps, but stopped again, slowly turned around and looked at me, with an angry sneer on her face, and said, "Do you think I'm really helping you discipline her?"
"..."
"I'm just supervising the granddaughter of the Yan family, lest she let her go out to shame her eyes, lose our Yan family, and lose your father's face!"
"..."
"I am even more afraid that she is like you, like your mother, and will not keep the woman's way in the future!"
My eyebrows tightened immediately: "What did you say ?!"
My mother doesn't care for women?
At this time, Xue Yan finally found a weakness that could attack me, simply turned around, slowly walked in front of me, and sneered: "Do you think your mother is so perfect, so innocent? She marries you Daddy, whether she likes it or not, you should be safe when you marry. But she has been uneasy, and has no relationship with Fu Bazhen, and the poor scholar, huh, what kind of scholarly conference did you take to the children? The mother also met him in private. It is she who does not care for women! "
Drag a child?
There was a stun in my heart: "You mean, Liu Shizhou?"
She snapped: "You, you know that person?"
My breath was a bit messy, but I said immediately: "I know who he is, he is indeed a poor scholar, but it is not as bad as you say. There is nothing uncommon between him and my mother, It is my mother who sees him poor, so he funded him some money, not the dirty things you said. "
"is it?"
She gritted her teeth and sneered, "Even if these are not, what is the wild man your mother often goes to private meetings?"
Wild man? !!
These three words were stuck in my heart fiercely, I just felt my breath blocked in my chest, and my voice changed: "You bullshit!"
"I'm bullshit? Huh!"
Xue Yan sneered: "This kind of thing, her mother is probably embarrassed to let her daughter know, even Mu Muzhi is ashamed to mention it. But today you said it, I am not afraid to tell you."
"You, don't spit out blood!"
"She thought she was secretly doing things herself. But she couldn't hold the fire. If she was doing her work with integrity and abiding by the women's ethics, she wouldn't have to go out to a private meeting secretly, and let that wild man come and go with a mask, so afraid of people seeing it. Why are you doing such cheap things? "
My heart fluttered.
"what did you say?!"