Chapter 30:

On the wooden table in front of me, a plate of home-cooked side dishes filled with fragrant aromas steamed up.
So is the white rice in the bowl. The rice grains are mellow, full and firm, and they are clustered together, which makes them very warm.
The feeling of long-lost home.
Long-lost, thoughtful feelings
Then the man across the table said to him: He should find someone to take care of himself.
If these are not care, what is called care?
If ... the person in front of you is not that person, who is that person?
A white chandelier hanging from the dining table gave off a faint warm light and dropped onto the table. The black wood refracted a white halo and gently circled the people at both ends of the table.
The old wall clock ticked on the wall, counting the time the silence continued between them.
It was a bit long, and no one spoke.
Because it took too long to get an answer, Shen Yan's lowered eyes slowly raised again, looking at Qi Qi. Then, he was stunned.
Qi Qi also held chopsticks in her hand, and the tip of the chopsticks touched the fragrant rice in the bowl.
Just put it, no chopsticks.
His hands maintained this posture for a long time, and there was nothing dripping from the rice. One, two, more. There was no sound at all, but he slowly slid down his cheeks and quietly infiltrated into the white rice grains.
The rain under the eaves seemed to be in sync with him, tapping the windowsill one after another.
The room was warm, and the window glass was covered with a thin and dense bead of fog, coated with a thin light from the lamp.
Qi Qi's eyes looked down at the bowl, and saw that the things in his eyes dropped one by one, and there was a flash of light at that moment, and then disappeared between the fluffy and soft rice. So his fingers moved, picked up one of them with chopsticks, and slowly put it into his mouth.
It was really fragrant and sweet.
Although he added a bit of bitterness to it, the soft and warm taste overwhelmed everything.
It's completely different from the rice I ate in the ward that day-a very happy taste. I thought it was out of reach, but now it is really chewing and eating.
He knew that his appearance at the moment must have scared the man, but he didn't want to hide it. Because there is no way to hide.
The things rolling out of his eyes are no longer under his control, and wiping is useless. He can only swallow the rice in the bowl, letting the two light traces remain on his face. Every time it dries, it will be washed away again.
"delicious."
Qi Qi's movements were very slow, her hands were shaking, but she still insisted on putting the rice in her mouth.
Then, picked up a little dish to deliver meals.
"It's delicious." In the same words, I chewed slowly.
"Qi Qi ..." Not far away, Shen Yan's slightly hoarse voice finally sounded.
"I'm okay." Qi Qi made herself smile.
I don't know if the smile will finally take shape, but it doesn't matter. The tears couldn't stop. One of the most embarrassing moments in this life appeared unreservedly, but I didn't feel ashamed, and my heart was filled with those full grains of rice, leaving no room for other emotions.
"I'm fine." Repeat it again. The tremors on his shoulders were getting violent, and he whined in a low voice, trying to hold back.
He didn't want Shen Yan to feel too embarrassed.
He didn't want to worry Shen Yan-because he didn't look out of pain like this, but he was touched by that sentence in the weakest corner of his heart, and his emotions overflowed for a while, overflowing his eyes.
It's a pity that the choked voice is getting clearer and clearer, and in a silence, it sounds again and again.
The wind and rain outside the window settled down, accompanied by sound.
At this time, Shen Yan gently stood up from the seat and spoke six words for a long time: "I, go downstairs to get the letter."
Qi Xiao nodded without speaking.
Shen Yan stood still for a while, and finally left the dining table, slowly walked by Qi Po, opened the door and went out.
There was a sound of the door being gently closed, and then the house was completely silent, leaving a blank space for Qi Qi to sort out her mood.
After Shen Yan left, Qi Qi lifted her low face a little, and then put down the wooden chopsticks, wiped her eyes with her sleeves briefly, and sniffed her nose with a low breath, and the undulations of her chest were finally one. Slow down. He was very grateful to Shen Yan for giving him time alone.
Looking down, Kung Fu had eaten half a bowl of rice just now.
His eyes then crossed the table and looked at the food set in front of Shen Yan—all unmoved. This guest is really unreliable, eating faster than the owner. Qi Xiao's slightly red eyes couldn't help but bend down, with a faint smile.
He sat for a little while, then got up and scooped a face under the tap to wash away all the remaining traces.
Just wiped the drops of water and the phone in my pocket suddenly rang.
It's SMS.
In the column of the sender, there is a word "yan". Initially, he entered "Yan Beixiang", and after knowing the true identity of the person, he once wanted to change it to "Shen Yan", but in the end only the word common to both names was retained.
This text message is only a short sentence.
[When do you think it's okay, call me upstairs again. 】
Really ... very considerate.
Qi Qi's eyes were slightly hot, and she took a deep breath, holding back the pain in her throat. In order to pack his mood more thoroughly, he simply responded: [Wait a second. 】
After sending, Shen Yan did not see a response for a long time.
After about five minutes, Qi Qi was looking out at the autumn rain dripping from the window, and suddenly the phone blew again. Shen Yan ’s second text message came over: [I ’m not going upstairs, but can I call you? 】
Seeing this, Qi Qi didn't return a text message and directly dialed the other party's phone.
"Hello?" After such a long period of recovery, his voice was stable and he no longer choked. There's even a trickle of warmth from the meals on the table, "Where are you?"
"Just downstairs, where we first came in."
Shen Yan's position at this time should be very close to the eaves. Because the sound of rain in the background is very clear, crisp and sweet.
Qi Qi heard the words, stood up and walked to the window of the living room, looking towards the corridor entrance on the first floor.
Shen Yan was really there, leaning against the wall, standing silently under the eaves and waiting. Looking at him from this angle and distance, he could vaguely see each other's limb movements. If it wasn't fogged on the glass, he might even see his expression clearly.
Qi Qi didn't do it.
This is also good, you can see it without having to see it clearly. In this way, he can focus more on his voice.
"Sorry, did you scare you just now?" Qi Qi smiled apologetically.
"No ... I just didn't know what to do for a while." Shen Yan's answer was as expected.
"Actually, I was scared myself." Qi Chen found a comfortable stance, also leaning against the wall, leaning her head against the window, and looking sideways to the person who was talking to herself downstairs, "Suddenly, naturally It becomes like that. There is no sign at all, I can't hold it down. "
Shen Yan whispered: "No need to hold back, let it be the best."
Qi Qiao said, "Uh". The two kept quiet for a period of time as they used to chat, letting the sound of rain fill the gap.
After a long time, Qi Qi reopened the dialog box: "Why do you want to call?"
"Because I was a little worried." When the six words were spoken, the man downstairs seemed to lower his head, turning his back to the direction where the light from the hallway shone. The sound of rain accompanied his deep breath, and the current sound that distorted everything slightly, giving Qi Qi a feeling of being like another world, "And ... when we are not talking face-to-face, we always feel that you will be more likely to tell the truth. words."
Qi Qi was stunned for a while, and then opened a melancholy smile: "What truth do you want to hear?"
Shen Yan's deep breath came through the microphone: "Do you remember ... the sentence I said in the kitchen?"
remember.
-"I always thought you hated me". Shen Yan said so, but he did not reply.
"I ..." How could I hate you. Even if it cannot be demonstrated, Qi Qi can't help but want to clarify.
But Shen Yan interrupted him gently. Very light, but interrupted very persistently.
"Can you say a few words before you answer?"
"Well, you said."
After getting permission, Shen Yan remained silent for a little while before really starting: "Because there were speech barriers, I haven't been good at communicating with people from before. There are few people who are willing to speak to me, willing to listen to me Fewer people. "
He heard this incident, but this time the description added more emotion.
Shen Yan's voice lowered: "It's even my occupation. Although the symptoms have almost completely disappeared, I still can't adapt to the communication between strangers subconsciously. When facing small animals, I feel a lot easier and no pressure. . So I like to get along with the little guys and I want to share stories about them, but ... I do n’t know what to do. "
Hearing this, Qi Chen stunned slightly.
auzw.com
He seemed to understand Shen Yan's intention to say these words at once. Sure enough, that person mentioned himself: "At that time, you asked me to write a diary. It was the first time someone offered to take a look at me to write about this."
Qi Qi had mixed feelings for a time, and could not help but emphasize with a dumb throat: "Shen Yan, I want to let you know-at the beginning I made a suggestion really for writing news, but after reading the diary, I really like what you write, Not just for work. "
The man at the other end of the microphone seemed to smile lightly: "I know. Because every paragraph in your reply is answered, I know you take it seriously."
Not only did every reply be answered, but no details were omitted. This is true of all the letters, and they have always insisted.
It was a joy that the spoken words got a 100% response.
"Although I am in contact with sick animals every day and write medical records every day, it is the first time that I can write them in a diary." Medical records are objective descriptions, and diaries are subjective feelings, which is equivalent to showing my heart, I did n’t know how to write it, so I thought about what to write. After sending the first email, I was actually ... I ’m worried, I ’m worried that you will resent these personal descriptions. "
But Qi Qi didn't.
Not only did he not laugh, he said he liked him very much, and even read it out with his voice to let more people hear--
"Then I ... maybe, some, can't bear to end like this." Shen Yan's voice was a little inaudible here, and between words, it was almost difficult to breathe, "Some ... pretended. So I wrote you the last one Mail, say something that is probably too personal. "
Qi Qi held her breath.
This sentence paused several times in the middle, and every time the dense rain came from the gap, it punctured him.
After a while, Shen Yan finally finished saying: "You haven't responded for a long time, I ... I regret it. Very, scared."
In fact, he still has something to mention.
For example, during Qi Qi's business trip to the field, he once gave up concealing the identity of Yanbei and called the TV station to ask about it.
For example, when he saw the news of the car accident in the drama, he was shocked and asked the puppet show to ask for the qq number.
For example, last night, he immediately moved the idea of ​​going to the hospital in the rain, but finally gave up reasonably.
Shen Yan's voice completely disappeared. Breath too.
Qi Qi found that the rapid breathing in his ear was actually his own. When he recovered, his consciousness became a little dizzy, and he had to frown, his forehead resting on the window glass.
"Shen Yan." While gasping, he whispered, "Shen Yan, I'm sorry. I was never disgusted ... I didn't reply to your last email."
His tone was as careful as coaxing a child.
I'm afraid that if I say the wrong word, it's a mistake that I can't get back.
"This is the truth--really." Qi Qi swears.
"Well." Shen Yan responded softly.
After that, for a while, neither of them continued. Qi Xiao's eyes closed, listening to the pattering rain coming from the other end of the phone, while Shen Yan was still standing quietly in the shadows, adjusting her emotions.
From time to time, the earphones emit current sounds, which proves that each other is still talking.
Finally, Shen Yan first returned to the starting point: "Qi Qi, next ... Could you temporarily treat me as a northward goose?"
He suddenly laughed at Qi Qi with this sudden sentence: "You were originally Yan Bei Xiang."
"I mean, can you just treat me like Yan Yan and forget that I am Shen Yan." Through a layer of mist in the glass window, Qi Qi saw Shen Yan walk two steps closer It stopped under a wall in the eaves. The rain grew thicker, "Because ... so you will be objective when you answer my questions below."
Qi Xiao smiled slightly.
Although it is only psychological comfort, it is no problem to promise him: "Okay, I will definitely speak the truth. You ask."
Shen Yan took a deep breath, as if the following were the most ridiculous questions he had asked in his life, and his tone was a bit cramped.
"If ... you have a rating of 0 to 10 for a person's favorability, 10 is a perfect score, and 0 is nonsensical or even offensive-how would you give 'Shen Yan'?
"Whee." Qi Chen lowered her head and smiled. In my heart, it was warm and unconsciously soft and overflowing. "You question is like a questionnaire that was often filled out during the student years."
"Don't laugh, I really wanted to ask that." Hearing his laughter, the voice downstairs was even lower, but he didn't give up.
Qi Xiao was still laughing, smiling very lightly, and the place where she saw the figure in her eyes was a little wet.
Then the laughter stopped and said a sincere answer: "11 points."
The other party was stunned as expected.
"11 points, what does that mean?" A mumbled voice like it was posted on the microphone.
"The extra 1 point is an additional point." Qi Chen smiled gently.
At this point, there was a brief silence.
But Shen Yan insists on a complete answer: "What do you mean by extra points ..."
Qi Qi lowered her eyes and stared at the figure standing under the eaves behind the glass for a long time. At the moment when the language stopped, the right hand holding the mobile phone was temporarily put down and extended his finger. The thin haze drew two arcs.
Merging left and right, it happens to be a heart shape, frame the person in the middle.
He smiled and picked up the phone again.
"Additional points means more than goodwill ..."
What could it be?
He couldn't think of another answer--
"Qi Qi." At this time, there was a sudden sound in the receiver that made him unable to respond, "I'm going upstairs."
It took a few seconds to recover, Qi Qi suddenly took a breath of breath, hurriedly said: "Wait! Shen Yan, wait! I haven't--"
There is no psychological preparation.
When he found that the phone had hung up, he looked downstairs again, and the person was no longer in his place.
Qi Qi suddenly panicked.
The first reaction after putting down the phone was to hurriedly wipe out what I just painted, and wiped it several times. The mist on the entire glass window was wiped away without leaving a trace, but the violent heartbeat did not slow down.
He regretted that he had to clean the window and wasted time.
Because before he rushed to the front door, the door had heard the sound of the key turning and opened a slit.
In a panic, he grabbed the door and slammed it against the people outside the door.
"Wait a minute, don't come in!"
"Qi Qi," he could not hear the face of the person outside, but could hear his voice. The thicker feelings than any other time made Qi Zi trance, "Let me see you."
"You ... wait a minute ..."
Qi Qi gasped hurriedly, even with such a simple sentence intermittently. There was a blank space in his mind, and the only sober place was to command his right hand, pulling the door to prevent it from entering another inch.
He currently has only one hand to use, and to be honest, because of his extreme nervousness, there is very little real energy that can be used by his body. Doing this is just a needless struggle. If Shen Yan is willing, she can push the door open all at once, but the force transmitted from outside the door has been carefully considered and just reached balance. Enough to keep the door open, but it won't break in.
The gradually regained consciousness realized this, and Qi Qi regained a little breath, panting like a prostration.
However, the next moment he held his breath again, because his hand clasping the door was gently covered by the man's hand, and then he gripped it-a very firm, full of eager grip.
The door is still.
The door slit opened less than twenty centimeters, and a pale light leaked from the outside to the inside.
When Qi Qi bowed her head, it was faintly visible that Shen Yan's shadow took up a corner of the light. But at this moment, in his heart, Shen Yan has occupied all.
The place where the ten fingers stick together is as hot as burning.
"Wait ..." The gasp was too rapid, and the sound of air flowing in and out of the throat was almost sharp. I can't finish talking.
Shen Yan is indeed waiting.
Although they were waiting, the hands they held were not released.
The heart mentioned a sudden jump in his throat, and he was dizzy in the deafening drum sound. Thumping, thumping, thumping, thumping extremely eagerly. The louder the sound, the more white flowers are in front of my eyes, as if I were standing in a pile of cotton, and my knees were soft.
"Qi Qi," compared to these, the kind of whispering call is the most difficult for him to resist, "I can wait until you think it can."
"Um ..." A trembling lips responded.
"But ... can you please let me stand by your side and wait?" Shen Yan asked dumbly.
It is a foul to say such pleading words in such a humble tone. Easily touched the organ that made him soft-hearted, removed his guard, and made all struggles weak.
The strength of the hand was only a little loose, and the door was suddenly open inward.
At that moment, Qi Zi subconsciously bowed his head, because he could not look directly into Shen Yan's eyes. The hand fell off the door, but the hand that held him was not abandoned, and followed him down.
Then, with a light pull, he fell into the warm embrace in front of him.