Chapter 39: (Top) Half into the river and half into the cloud

　　 held a small umbrella coming from the piggy car in his hand. Look at this guy's taste? Zhuo Yang walked in the dark and slippery campus in the heart. The rain fell on the branches on both sides of the road, and then condensed into large drops of water and fell to the ground. Some drops fell on the umbrella cloth at night. The sound of "bang" and the sound of "sand" of the rain silk blended together. , Like rhythm drums in light music.
　　 The winter rain was like fog and smoke, and it was lightly scattered on the floor tiles of the campus roads and on the dead branches and leaves, which made the ground wet and the day wet. The mist that came with the rain, like an indissoluble mosaic, obscured everything in front of me.
　　 The street lamp in the distance emits a dim orange light, like the red eyes of the drunks, and the light forms a cold halo in the rain. The building beside the road occasionally reveals one or two points of sluggish lighting, like the tiredness of people dozing off.
Zhuo Yang is still very excited. The first C-League victory, coupled with the excitement of alcohol and glamorous girls, made him not want to go back to the lonely bed in the dormitory immediately. He likes to breathe coldly like this. Moist air.
　　It was already a little late. Zhuo Yangman walked aimlessly in the rain on the campus and came to the dance building unconsciously. He is very familiar here. There is a classroom in the third grade of their classical department in the dance building. Except for the game day, he often waited for Reza after class, and then went hand in hand to the restaurant for dinner.
　　 On the top of the five-story dance building, there is a large terrace.
　　 There should be no noise in the rain on the terrace, right?
　　Climb up the stairs slowly. When passing by the second floor, Zhuo Yang saw the door of a large classroom falsely covered, which is generally used for vocal exercises like chorus. The large classroom is large, and there are seven or eight groups of chandelier on the ceiling. At this time, only the innermost group of small chandelier is on, and most of the classrooms appear dim.
　　 Zhuo Yang walked over curiously and gently pushed the false door open slowly.
　　 There was no sound from the gate.
　　 The corridor is dark, the gate area is also dark, and there is only a little light in the innermost part of the classroom on the entire floor.
　　 Zhuo Yang glanced casually in the classroom as if no one was there.
　　 Which careless guy forgot to turn off the light? He thought to himself.
　　 was about to step into the classroom and turn off the solitary lamp, Zhuo Yang saw the two people in the corner.
　　 There is a circle of single sofa in the corner, there is a man sitting on the sofa, the man is very strange.
　　 The man's pants fell to his ankles, and his lower body was lying naked on the back of the sofa. On the carpet in front of him, there was a woman kneeling. The woman's head was buried between the man's legs, and her beautiful short shoulder-length hair lightly rose and fell with the head up and down.
　　 The woman is Reishakova!
　　Rishakova seemed to feel something. She stopped and looked at the classroom door suspiciously, but there was nothing and nothing.
　　 She stood up, walked to the door, and looked in the dark corridor. It seemed that there was a vague figure turning down the stairs, and it seemed that there was nothing. Reishakova hesitated for a while and shook her head. Maybe she thought too much?
　　 gently closed the door, and there was a towering man still waiting for her.
　　++
　　Winter rain dripped slowly in the soil, like tears of pity in the sky, mixed with a touch of bleakness, a touch of melancholy, and floated towards the green banana. In the dark night, it seemed as if a boy was holding a colorful umbrella and walking in the tears. The tears condensed on the tip of the banana leaf dropped in the sad drizzle.
　　 Zhuo Yang did not know how he left there, and his mind was in confusion. Although he was still a young man without personnel, he knew what those two were doing.
　　 Zhuo Yang doesn't know what kind of emotion he is now, anger, sadness, despair, entanglement, pain, nausea, desolation, disappointment... it seems that there is no emotion, and it seems to have a little. Zhuo Yang is like a shell walking in the rain, empty inside, no emotion, no consciousness, no internal organs.
　　The night was even darker. The boy gradually walked away with a small umbrella, and Yuwu whirling could not see his figure clearly. The inside of Zhuo Yang's empty body slowly dimmed with sadness, slowly diffused, and then occupied the entire body.
　　The teenager does not recognize the taste of sorrow, and loves to go upstairs, forcing sorrow for new words.
　　Every young boy has experienced some of the ups and downs of life, but how can the boy's emotions be profound?
　　 thought that the rock-breaking rock was pain, thought that losing butterflies in the flowers was sad, thought that watching a tearful movie understood sorrow, and thought the love letter would be very sad after being torn apart by the same table.
　　However, at this moment, all the negative emotions are brought together and only sad. Seventeen-year-old Zhuo Yang had a real emotional sadness for the first time in his life.
　　 This is not sorrow, nor anger, nor pain.
　　 It's just very simple and deeply sad!
　　 Zhuo Yang is a simple person, he will simply separate things.
　　 came to Hanover, he heard about the legend of Rishakova, and had gossip about her anecdotes while chatting with Mark. But when he fell in love with Reisha, he simply divided Reishakova into the legendary Reishakova and Reisha in front of him, or knew his former Reishakova and Reiss in love with himself Sha.
　　In his subconscious mind, it was two different women, one existed in the gossip that had been circulated, and the other lived in front of his eyes.
　　In the scene just now, the two Reishakova merged into one.
　　 Zhuo Yang is a clear person, he loves all the good in this world.
　　 Zhuo Yang Aretha? The answer is undoubtedly yes. Beautiful, sexy, passionate, cute, stylish, smart, and tender, this is Zhuo Yang's label for Reza in his heart, and it is also all he feels about Reza.
　　Reza Aizo Young? Zhuo Yang believes that she loves him. He can understand the tenderness and love in Reza’s eyes, and often holds her in her arms. Reza put her ear on Zhuo Yang’s chest and muttered: Zhuo Yang, I love you, I love you...
　　First love will spontaneously form a sense of perfection and ritual in the heart of the teenager, and even become a self-fulfilling fantasy dream.
　　 The perfection created in the subconscious mind makes Zhuo Yang ignore the age gap and the difference in psychological experience between him and her, as well as the popular words that have been circulated in the community.
　　 Zhuo Yang is a proud person, he refuses all attempts to humiliate.
　　 He didn't go to break through that sloppy place, didn't rage and hit the ugly on the spot, just like the heroes in the old version of "Water Margin" he watched when he was five years old.
　　'S innocence and pride make Zhuo Yang feel that it is a humiliation to continue to face that scene, whether it is peaceful or rough, it is an insult to himself.
　　So, Zhuo Yang left quietly, or he escaped silently.
　　Evasion is one of the oldest and best human behaviors. Homo sapiens invented the stone spear in order to escape and fight against the Neanderthals; the hominids built semi-cave houses to avoid the attacks of wild beasts; the ancestors of humans came from Africa to escape the hunger caused by food reduction. Departing from the coast and walking towards the whole earth.
　　Every one of us evades unknowingly, from poverty, from ignorance, from responsibility, from darkness, from depression.
　　 Zhuo Yang's departure is an escape, and if he is angry and angry, he will also become an escape. Escape the love he once had, escape the goodness his father inherited from him, escape his own heart.
　　 How can I not escape? Only when you bravely face your heart and bravely acknowledge the truth of your heart, then all your behaviors will change qualitatively and become challenges and desires. Just like our ancestors!
　　 Bravery is the noblest quality of mankind! — Zhuo Tongtong
　　 Zhuo Yang walked aimlessly in the rain. The rain was getting bigger and bigger, wet his trousers and back, and small drops of water began to flow down his hair. The cold rain in the cold night made him start to regain consciousness, Zhuo Yang was cold.
　　 Sad mood and cold body make Zhuo Yang at a loss, he has no experience and experience to deal with such emotions. However, what can you do with experience?
　　When negative emotions are pervasive, people need to vent. Some people choose alcohol, some people choose indulgence, some people choose violence, some people choose to talk.
　　 Zhuo Yang chose the piano.