Chapter 92: Ruthless men with mental disorders (3)

Song Xuan accompanied Ji Huai to the hospital. [All Tanmei Novels: www.sto123.cc]
The doctor is the psychiatrist she had made an appointment with in the Guanguan department. He has good qualifications and a good reputation.
When Ji Huai sat down, she went out and waited for him in the corridor.
He walked many laps back and forth, raising his wrist from time to time to see the time, half an hour, an hour, he did not come out.
"boom!"
"I do not have!"
Suddenly there was a fierce voice inside. Song Xuan was startled and walked quickly to open the door, only to find that the door was locked.
She became more anxious outside.
After a while, the door of the room opened from the inside, and Ji Huai walked out from the inside with his head down, full of decadence, and he glanced at her.
There are very complicated emotions in his deep eyes. There are guilt, embarrassment, embarrassment and embarrassment when there is sadness, and a little anxiety.
Song Xuan said nothing, stretched out her hand to hold his hand, and squeezed out a smile, "Can we go back?"
Ji Huai nodded slowly, without speaking.
"Then..." Song Xuan glanced at the doctor and thanked him sincerely, "Doctor, let's go first, thank you."
"En." The doctor nodded.
It has been raining these few days. Song Xuan is holding an umbrella in her hand, and Ji Huai beside her has not spoken. The atmosphere is a bit heavy, and she is also thinking about it, is it serious?
"Go to the bookstore first, I want to buy a book." Ji Huai suddenly exited.
"Ah? Oh, okay, let's go now." Song Xuan thought she had misheard at first, what book to buy? He reacted quickly and followed him, "I remember there is a big bookstore here, on the second floor of that mall, shall we go now?"
"Yep."
The bookstore on the second floor.
Ji Huai walked in. He read the books on the shelf carefully, looking at them row by row.
Song Xuan doesn't know what books he wants to buy. He is not a person who likes to read books. He likes playing games with He Chenxiang and drinking and chatting. Did the doctor tell him anything?
Ji Huai stayed in the psychological zone.
"Psychological Disorder Treatment", "Psychological Disorder Self-treatment", "What is a Psychological Disorder?" 》......
Song Xuan watched him take down a book. As long as it was about psychology, he took it down. Finally, he picked eight books and turned to look at her, "Do you want to buy a book?"
"I want to buy it too. I want to read history books recently." Song Xuan nodded, afraid that he would be reading the book when she was sitting and she didn't know what to do.
She chose a history book, thinking that the bookstore was too expensive, so she went back to the Internet to order another department
Listed.
Ji Huai took it to the checkout together, and also bought a membership card, which can be discounted.
He carried the book, and the two walked back.
Along the way, Song Xuan watched him several times with her leftover light, but she stopped talking. When she got home downstairs, she still didn't ask her words out, for fear of hurting him.
After entering the elevator, Ji Huai looked in front, his voice was low and dumb. "The doctor said, I have a mental disorder, possibly accompanied by anxiety, and I am still on the verge of becoming mildly manic, self-anaesthetizing and self-evading, and may even develop into depression. , Hurt others, or hurt yourself."
Although Song Xuan had heard of these terms, and she knew a little bit when she was in school, but she was not in her major, and they were skipped a little. For these mental illnesses, she is considered a layman, "Then, what does the doctor suggest?"
In fact, these issues are quite complicated. There are relatively few studies on mental illness in the medical field, and she feels a little heavy.
"Efforts to self-regulate, divert attention, self-prevention (dry gan), if it is serious, you may take drugs for (dry gan) pretreatment." Ji Huai said, looking at her sideways, expressionless, or in other words, still in trouble At the stage of believing, this problem has not been clearly recognized.
"Well, mood is very important. In the psychological aspect, few people are absolutely healthy, and there are more or less problems. Drugs hurt the body. It must be regulated by its own mechanism. The human body is a very (strong) body. qiang) The big self-regulating machine will definitely recover." She comforted him.
Self-regulation is the best, as long as it can achieve clinical cure, she is really afraid that he will get worse. Mental illness is more terrible than physical illness. What destroys is the body and mind. From the inside out, it is completely destroyed. What can I do?
The elevator door opened, but Ji Huai did not go out, staring at her face, stubborn and hopeful, "Really?"
"Of course." She nodded surely.
Before she finished her words, she felt Ji Huai let out a sigh of relief, pressed the open button, and walked out with her hand.
Song Xuan looked at his figure, her eyes full of worry.
When Ji Huai went to take a bath, she called the doctor and wanted to know the situation. She was really restless and fidgeting.
What the other party said was roughly the same as what Ji Huai said, but in the end he (strong qiang) tuned, "In fact, he has been suppressing and has not exposed (exposed), I guess, you played a big role in the middle."
Song Xuan did not quite understand.
The doctor told her that according to the current situation, there may be two extremes. Ji Huai is the only one beside her, and she may be regarded as a target of venting.
Later she will be injured, because his (body shen) physical function will take the means of transfer in order to protect himself, this is instinct. The other one, she will pull him out of it, which is the power of love.
At present, the doctor is not easy to judge, because Ji Huai did not have the disease. At most, he was a little shadowed in childhood, with obstacles in his heart, and he was suppressed and on the verge of an outbreak.
Song Xuan, who hung up, looked at the dark sky outside the window, feeling unspeakable in her heart.
She said she didn't believe in the power of love. Ji Huai had quarreled with her so many times. In retrospect, she had obviously faintly regarded her as a target of venting. All of this seemed to have an explanation.
She knows better than ordinary people about the fragility of life and the ruthlessness of disease. The reason why a miracle is called a miracle is not what ordinary people expect, but Ji Huai is better, not terminally ill, and can live a normal life after he is relieved. Knot, let go of those obsessions, and resolve the shadows.
"Do you want to have a barbecue and drink?" He Chenxiang's voice came from outside.
"No." Ji Huai was not in a high mood. He opened the door and walked in as soon as he finished speaking, looking at Song Xuan who hurriedly put away his emotions, "Do you want a (xi) bath?"
"I'm going." Song Xuan's tone to him has improved a lot.
How should I put it, although he hurt her during the quarrel, but when he thinks that he is not feeling well, I feel relieved. Maybe it can't be cured, but she still doesn't want to leave him at this time.
Can't bear it, add it too.
After returning from the psychiatrist, Ji Huai's mood was not very good.
I read books every night. I didn't go to drink with He Chenxiang or play games. I just read in the room. When I read, most of my brows were frowned. Sometimes I was puzzled and sometimes angry.
Sometimes after get off work, I have dinner with her and go back to work in the morning.
When Song Xuan came home from get off work, Ji Huai didn't talk and laugh with them in the lobby as before. They stayed in the room, and she sighed helplessly.
Her loneliness has been reduced a lot. Even if it’s a shared rent, Ji Huai stayed with her. She didn’t leave her alone. As long as she crossed the hall when she came back, it was the small home of the two of them. She didn’t want much. It was what she wanted before. He stayed with her in this way, and neither of them would quarrel so much.
However, the thought of this was because he knew that he was sick, so some state made her feel so sad.
She opened the door, and he leaned on the (bed chuang) to read the book again and again, sometimes thinking there for a long time, struggling with his eyes.
Song Xuan
After washing up, he slipped into the quilt, leaned on him, and asked aloud, "When did you get home from get off work?"
"Get home at half past six." Ji Huai returned.
"Then what did you have for dinner? Did you order takeaway or eat with them?" She was looking for a topic, and she was a bit late from get off work today, and had already eaten when she came home.
"Tian Shao went to the evening shift and ordered a meal with He Chenxiang." Ji Huai stretched his hand over her head, embraced her, and then played with her hair. "When did you get off work?"
"I didn't start coming back until nine o'clock. Recently, the hospital was busy and the manpower was low. Zhang Jie took time off for a babysitter. The new nurse didn't understand it, and it might be later in the next few days." Song Xuan then put his book On one side, he put his hand on his frowning brow, stretched it out for him, half joking, "Why do you always frown? Are you not afraid of wrinkles?"
"What am I afraid of as a man?" Ji Huai didn't care.
"Like a little old man." She smiled again.
Ji Huai also laughed, and then she said just now, "If I get off work late, I will pick you up."
He goes to get off work and off work very regularly, weekends and weekends, work is not difficult, the salary is also good, they are average, not bad.
"Will it be troublesome? I can come back myself." Song Xuan said more and more quietly.
He used to pick her up. In the beginning, they picked her up every day. The two were chatting and arguing on the road. That was the happiest time. Later on, he would often eat and chat with He Chenxiang and the others, and would drink, so he rarely went there. Call him to deliver something, and he will still go.
But she still wanted him to pick her up. Before, the two of them would come back holding hands and chatting. When they came back, it was very late. It was time to clean up (sleeping Shui), so she would not leave her alone in the room.
"I'm not alone when I come back together, I'm fine anyway (gan gan)." Ji Huai answered.
"Then you come to pick me up." She didn't squeeze, stretched out her hand to wrap his neck, "Don't break your promise."
"En." He nodded.
Song Xuan's eyes fell on the book he was reading again, and asked cautiously, "How did you read the book?"
Ji Huai's mood is much calmer now, but she is afraid that it will be the tranquility before the storm, and that he will be on the horns of his own, and her condition will deteriorate by then.
"That's it, some things can be understood, some are not clear, but I didn't become like this for no reason." Ji Huai looked at her, his eyes changed, and his emotions were slightly agitated, "I was not!"
"I know." Song Xuan also nodded, strongly agreeing with him.
Ji Huai's eyes dimmed again.
Annoyed and impatient, finally closed his eyes and hugged her in his arms, her strength was still a little bit stronger, but Song Xuan did not dare to move, and even hugged him, "It's okay, it will pass."
"I want to (kill sha) people." Ji Huai said in a low tone, echoing in the silent room.
Song Xuan's face (color) paled in shock.
"I used to want to (kill sha) to kill her, someone without knowing it, I hate everyone, and I hate living, but I don't want to die, so I don't want to die. "
"I don't want to see her. She always shows up very annoyingly. I feel bad when I see her. I'm like beating someone."
.....
Song Xuan listened to him as he kept talking, as if he was venting. No wonder he went back to Ji’s house. He was always in a bad mood when he came back. If you want to fight with her, the more quarreling the better, sometimes she doesn’t want to quarrel. On the contrary, he refused to give up.
"Then do you hate me too?" Her tone was a little lost, she didn't know how to warm up a world-weary heart, perhaps she was an incompetent person.
Confused and sad.
"I don't hate you, I love you." He spoke without hesitation, and then hugged her a little bit tighter, "You are different from her."
"Then have you thought about the future with me?" She asked the question she had always wanted to ask.
Hearing this, Ji Huai stiffened and didn't return to her for a long time.
Song Xuan guessed it and wanted to cry a little. He hadn't thought about the future, nor about getting married, so he didn't care where he lived, so he wouldn't move because there was no future.
She came to live with him to get married.
"I don't want to have a child and repeat this kind of life." Ji Huai looked at her again, especially earnestly, "I am born with suffering. Why do we have to give birth? Why do we want to marry?"
Seeing Song Xuan glancing his face to the side, he didn't know what to say, he hesitated and said: "We can continue to live together like this without having children."
Song Xuan is a traditional girl. She wants to have a child in marriage and has a baby step by step. She did not answer, but said softly, Sleep Shui), I'm a little sleepy."
"Is this bad?" he asked again.
She got up from his arms and reached out to turn off the light. The room instantly became pitch black. Ji Huai pulled her back, held her in his arms, and asked again, "Then what do you think?"
She still didn't speak.
Ji Huai is an anxious (sexual xing), and irritable, reaching out to turn on the light, staring at her, asking for an answer, "Why don't you speak?"
Song Xuan had no intention of (sleeping Shui) in her eyes. She stared at him, struggled a bit, and said, "Ji Huai, when you get better, I will move out.
"
"I said, I will move when the one-year contract expires..."
"You are here, we...not together." She interrupted him, her tone was very gentle, and she tried to speak as relaxed as possible, "I can accompany you for this period of time, one year will work, but several years will not work. , I still have my life and goals."
"You mean breaking up? Just because you don't get married?" He was very emotional and kept questioning her.
Song Xuan was sad, but did not escape, "Ji Huai, this is not the life I want."
"Is it because of my illness? You tell me." His face (color) was pale.
According to previous experience, Song Xuan knew that he was on the verge of an emotional outburst and was about to make a big quarrel, so she tried her best to slow down her voice, "It's not your illness. You said you love me. The so-called love is to let me rent a house here to accompany you. There is no plan, no goal, no future life, what about after love is gone? What else do I have?"
"Whether it is not married or Dink, it must have a future. Is it the future you plan for me? I am very sad, but I know that such a life has no future."
His face (color) was ugly, she didn't dare to (stabbing ci) him again, and quickly changed the subject, "I don't talk about this now, I haven't reached that point, so I won't talk about it."
"Then let's get married." After Ji Huai made a concession, he had a complicated expression about the next step of having a child. He moved his mouth several times without saying anything.
"Don't force yourself, (Sleep Shui)." Song Xuan didn't want to embarrass him. When his condition is better, she will be relieved when she leaves.
At night, the two people lying on the (bed chuang) could not sleep (sleeping Shui).
I don’t know how long it took before Ji Huai’s worried voice came over, with a bitter tone, "I didn’t plan because I was alive. I’m afraid I don’t like the child you have. Then you will be very sad, and I don’t want you to be sad. Sad."
It sounded a little helpless, Song Xuan wanted to cry, really.
"Xuanxuan, I'm sorry." He apologized.
she cried.
The author has something to say: The update time has been messed up recently. Mi'er has too many things during the day and has not saved the manuscript. The update will be unstable for a while, hey.
Send two hundred red envelopes, good night everyone. 91g