Chapter 87: Peter's memories

The bright moonlight climbed through the window into the common lounge of the Gryffindor Tower.
In the place where the moon is not shining, a small figure is hiding under the chair and shivering.
The little dwarf Peter cringed and twisted his hands, and his breath was almost out of breath.
For twelve years, what he has been afraid of has finally happened. His former best friend, Sirius Black, escaped from Azkaban. He broke into Hogwarts, just in time, and they were even separated by a wall.
Peter understood that he had betrayed the Potter couple to Voldemort. Black came to find his own revenge. He wanted to kill himself.
He instinctively wants to escape, but he doesn't know where to hide. He knows Black too well. If the other person knows that he is still alive, then he will never give up.
Even if there are hundreds of dementors here, even if the entire Hogwarts is turned upside down, Black will not back down, and he will not stop until he catches himself. This is Sirius Black, a true Gryffindor, a monster that never knows what fear and cowardice are.
Maybe it’s the same as twelve years ago, and there is another fake death.
This thought just emerged in Peter's mind and he was vetoed.
This is not the Muggle street 12 years ago. He is not only facing Black alone this time.
Here is Hogwarts, and there are Dumbledore, Snape, Lupin, Professor McGonagall, James and Lily’s son Harry, and the boy named Avon Mason, each of whom is better than himself. Smart, more powerful than yourself, have more courage than themselves.
It’s too hard and too difficult to fool these people like you have cheated on Sirius Black.
Besides, after I escaped, where can I go?
The Death Eaters who are still alive will not let him go after the wind, and the Dark Lord failed after listening to his informant.
Until now, Peter did not understand that the person who was so powerful that even the name could not be mentioned, why was it defeated by a baby? He did not understand that he had chosen the strong side at the beginning, why did he go to this point now?
Everything seems to have returned to the dot, returning to the time when I first entered school twenty years ago.
The little dwarf Peter still remembers the entrance ceremony of the branch. He was thin and small, and he trembled toward the branch hat. He put on the hat, the big hat that covered his eyes, he couldn’t see the stage. .
He was too scared. He was like this when he was a child. He couldn’t do anything. He was weak, not smart enough, and had no extraordinary magical talent. He was afraid that he would be driven back by his hat. He was afraid to see his mother again. Eyes.
"Difficult, very difficult!" The cap of the branch began to talk in his ear. "You are not a brave child. You don't have enough wisdom, your mind is not determined, and you don't want to work hard. Although pure blood is very good. It’s hard to live in Slytherin, and there is no quality that Ravenclaw and Gryffindor demand. Even if it’s mediocre, but the heart is not willing to stay in the ordinary Hufflepuff, let me think about it, you should go Where is it?"
Yeah, where should I go?
She lost her father's own life and lived with her mother. Although her family was poor, her mother tried her best to buy all the magical equipment for herself. She had high hopes for herself. Before going to bed every night, she told her the story of her father.
Peter still remembers the story of the mother. In her story, the father is a heroic Gryffindor. Even if he is not the strongest, he is fearless, even if he faces someone who doesn’t even mention his name. Never been afraid.
Peter heard from her mother's tone that she was proud and proud of her father.
"Gryffindor, Gryffindor, Gryffindor, I want to go to Gryffindor, I want to have courage, I am a brave man!" Peter shouted in the heart of the yard hat, " I want to change my timid and weak self. I want to be the same warrior as my father. I want to be respected. I can't let my mother down!"
"Gryffindor?!" The voice of the branch hat is slightly different. "You said you are going to Gryffindor, okay, this may not be the best choice, but I hope that you will be long in the future. In the road, find the courage to bury deep inside."
"Gryffindor!"
Peter, the little dwarf star under the chair, smiled happily. It was the most brilliant moment in his life. He seemed to hear the shouting hat again shouting out the moment of his choice with everyone’s loud voice. He showed it again. Go to the mother to look at my satisfied eyes.
But his smile quickly solidified, and the hat was right. He was not suitable for Gryffindor. He only got ridicule in this college.
Everyone laughed at him for being brave. Hogwarts’s school made him feel pressure. He found that there was no course that he was good at. The professors looked at their own eyes and had no other feelings except disappointment. He left his mother to himself. The requirements are getting farther and farther.
He did not find courage in this college, he found himself more and more ordinary and inferior.
Can't go on like this, he needs someone to help himself.
Peter quickly discovered the goal. James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin are the three best people in his class. The three people who formed the small group are always radiant, maybe they need a attendant.
That's right, you can play this role perfectly.
Fortunately, they accepted themselves. The little dwarf Peter once felt hope and happiness for this. He thought he could be as good as them. No, at least, he could become a sense of existence and become proud of his mother. !
For this sense of existence and pride, Peter is willing to endure everything.
In the eyes of outsiders, he is a member of this small group. He is a friend of James, Sirius and Lupin.
But only the little dwarf Peter himself knows that he is just a follower, nothing more.
James sees him as an object that can show off his Quidditch talent at any time. His existence is only to better set off the courage and fearlessness of Sirius. Even the werewolf Lupin, he also looks down on himself.
Yes, the three of them have never regarded themselves as friends, but at best they are companions, but more often, he is still a follower who can be called at will.
Weakness to humble, humble to negligible, I am afraid this is also the idea of ​​all.
But Peter was once satisfied with this. He did not seek to stand in the middle of the stage and was noticed by everyone.
As long as there is an inconspicuous position in the corner, it is enough for him to meet.
He may not have found the courage he has been arrogant in this ancient college, but he relies on other means to gain the strength and honor he needs. Although not many, at the very least, the mother will not be disappointed.
I hope to have courage and chase strength, there is no exclusion.
Seven years of Hogwarts' career, finally let Peter understand that what he needs is not brave and courageous, but powerful and powerful.
If his father used that power, he would die so much, and his life with his mother would not be so bitter.
Powerful, this is what he has been pursuing.
After graduating, his three companions wanted to join the Phoenix to fight Voldemort. Peter wanted to refuse because he knew the strength of the two sides. But he did not dare, he was used to obeying the orders of three other people in the small group.
He didn't dare to say no to his companions. It also required strong courage. He never had such a thing. Besides, he is also afraid of disappointing his mother. He knows that his mother wants to join the Order of the Phoenix.
The mother’s expectations of herself have always made Peter feel pressure, but until that moment, he discovered that the pressure had become a heavy burden, and he could not breathe.
The little dwarf Peter remembers that day, when James, Sirius and Lupin were happy that they had defeated Voldemort's plot four times and again, he felt a little more fear.
He can feel the wrath of the Dark Lord. He can feel the hatred of the four people who don't even mention the name. It is like a never-ending nightmare.
Can't go on like this anymore. The little dwarf Peter can't see the benefits of continuing to fight against Voldemort himself. Even if he risked his life to do these things, only James, Sirius and Lupin will be honored.
Moreover, Dumbledore is gradually aging, his strength is declining; and Voldemort is in full swing, his strength and power are growing stronger day by day.
It's time to choose your own loyal camp. For a weak person, the most important thing is not to do something earth-shattering, but to make a wise choice.
He couldn't be as stupid as his father, and died for Dumbledore's life and obscurity. This stupid courage has no meaning other than leaving a heavy burden and sadness to his wife and children.
He wants to choose his own destiny, he wants to gain a powerful force.
The Dark Lord has promised him, as long as he unifies the magic world, he will gain power, power and status that were previously unimaginable.
Although the methods are different, as long as there is such a thing, the mother will be proud of herself again.
As for the embarrassment and self-blame of betraying his own companions, Peter never felt this way.
Anyway, in their eyes, they are just a follow-up, and they have always been.