Chapter 96: Extra (5)
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If You Don’t Fall In Love, You’ll Die
- Long Qi
- 4696 characters
- 2021-02-04 09:21:34
After graduation, Gu Xi was very busy. Although he still lived with Shen Jiaze, the time he could meet seemed to be locked in the evening.
At night, Gu Xi was still very tired. Shen Jiaze was pestering him. He only wanted to rest early.
Shen Jiaze felt bad about him, and he didn’t mess around. Most of them were only kissed and then hugged him to sleep.
Gu Xi entered the Gu Group and he worked very hard to make achievements and tried very hard to prove himself to his father.
Why are you so anxious?
Because he wants to come out, he wants to take up the future of himself and Shen Jiaze.
Trying to do what the father wants, and trying to take over the burden of Gu, he hopes that they will be more accepting when they confess to their parents.
With such a thought, Gu Xi gave up his interest, abandoned what he had learned for many years, and did something in the company that was boring and completely uninteresting.
But he is not bothered or tired, but full of energy.
As long as he came home to see Shen Jiaze, he felt that everything was worthwhile.
Shen Jiaze knew that he was tired, and he would help to clean up the package and even give him great help at work.
Although he did not step into the society, Shen Jiaze's living environment is there, which gives him a near-instinctive talent in these aspects.
Although this time is too much, although it is hard, Guxi is still full of satisfaction, in order to outline their common future, Guxi is happy.
Until a move.
Shen Jiaze felt that he had to traffic jam for nearly an hour every morning before he arrived at the company. He proposed to move to a place close to Guxi.
Gu Xi said: "It is too late for you to go to school."
Shen Jiaze said: "I am not in a hurry to go to school, what are you afraid of?"
He insisted on moving, but also took the initiative to pick up the house, busy and clean up before, Gu Xi also followed him.
Because of the busy work, most of the matters of moving are Shen Jiaze and Zhang Luo.
The temper of Shen Jiaze’s young master has been convinced by Gu Xi in the past two years.
Although still capricious, or love Hu, but also in the face of Gu Xi, only his own time, he can do everything.
He carefully packed up their memories. The two years of time were sweet and warm, and it seemed that all were full of good things.
Shen Jiaze accidentally found a photo album while moving a box.
He has never seen it before, and he is sure that it is not his own thing, it must be Guxi.
He turned the album with some air and expectation, and wanted to see Gu Xi.
After opening, he saw a familiar and slightly strange little fat man.
The five senses can still see the appearance of Gu Xi, but the meaty face, round arms...
Shen Jiaze smiled and was amused by the white and tender little fat man in the photo.
It turned out that Gu Xi was actually fat before.
It is hard to imagine that life is extremely regular, everything is well organized, and Guxi, who has a very high self-demand, will become fat in this cute look.
Shen Jiaze looked at it one by one, and the more he saw it, the more he liked it.
This is probably the case with loving someone. The aesthetics will become two parts, one is others and the other is him.
So no matter what Gu Xi is, it is beautiful in Shen Jiaze’s eyes.
After reading it, he still felt that Guxi is too thin and his waist is too thin, but the is very meaty... um... Shen Jiaze quickly regained his thoughts and did not dare to think.
This album is estimated to be the "secret" of Guxi. Shen Jiaze does not want Gu Xi to know that he has seen it.
He carefully took out a single photo of Gu Xiaopeng and clipped it into his wallet.
Turning to the end of the album, he actually saw a familiar person...
Uncle?
Shen Jiaze sneaked a little, the photo is a man with a very similar facial features and Shen Jiaze, but the gas field is completely different, he smiles slightly, mature and elegant, charming and charming.
Beside him is the fat Gu Xi, he seems to be a little nervous, his eyes are shining, the smile on his lips is nervous and well-behaved.
Shen Jiaze’s heart stunned. He couldn’t say what it was like. In short... not very comfortable.
Just a photo, Shen Jiaze vaguely remembered that the uncle and grandfather were angry at the time and went to their school for a year as a lecturer.
It should be just teaching Gu Xi...
It’s really clever.
Shen Jiaze closed the album, and the mood was inexplicably low.
This is just a small embarrassment, growing in the heart of Shen Jiaze, has not yet multiplied into a tumor.
In the days that followed, Gu Xi was still busy, Shen Jiaze still waiting for him every night.
Every time I came back too late, Gu Xi said: "You sleep early, don't wait for me."
Shen Jiaze asked him: "I don't see you in a day, don't want me?"
Gu Xi has always been a hard-mouthed person. He wants to say no, he teased him: "What do you want to do?"
Before Shen Jiaze did not feel that there was something wrong with this, he would also like him to say that he wanted him, but recently he did not know why he felt uncomfortable.
He didn't say anything, Gu Xi continued to tease him: "I want you to cook a dish to blow up the kitchen? Or do you want to wash your clothes and put it in the washing machine for a day?"
Shen Jiaze frowned. "That was before."
When Gu Xi saw him, he was really unhappy. He said to him: "Well, now Shen Jiaze is very good, will cook, will wash clothes... Anything will be done!"
After saying that he kissed him again, Shen Jiaze was happy, and the layer of yin in his heart was scattered, but he was still hiding in the dark.
A month later, Shen Jiaze went to a birthday party.
It was his young uncle Shen Qingxu.
He and Shen Qing Xu are not much different, calling Xiao Shu, but in fact more like a brother.
However, Shen Qing Xu has always been calm, and he is very bright at a young age. He is the leader of their generation. It is the kind of "other children's children" that every aunt will recite.
Shen Jiaze and Xiaoshu have a very good relationship. On his birthday, he naturally wants to come.
I haven't paid attention to it before. Now, when I look closely, he feels that he and his uncle are really looking like the five senses.
Just one relative also complimented one sentence: "Jia Ze and his little uncle are more and more like, mature a lot, and there will be a big achievement in the future."
Shen Mama said modestly: "This child has a small temper, and it has converged in the past two years, but it is still far from Qingxu."
Shen Jiaze listened to these chills, and the uncomfortable feelings in his heart escalated.
He was impatient to cope with these seven aunts and squatting, and simply went to the side to go lazy.
He was boring to flip the phone. This time, Gu Xi is still busy, and he does not want to send messages to bother him.
Nothing is idle. He remembered the little fat man in his wallet. Shen Jiaze couldn’t help but look it up.
He has always taken this photo out and looked at a familiar and unfamiliar Gu Xi, imagining his previous life.
Like him, I will like his present and future and like his past.
Shen Jiaze also knows that he is really hopeless.
But nothing, for the sake of Gu Xi, he has long given up treatment.
"Oh... is this Gu Xiaopang?" A scornful voice rang behind him.
Shen Jiaze quickly closed the wallet.
The man with red wine at his back blinked: "What?"
Shen Jiaze Town decided: "Good brother."
This is a friend of Shen Qingxu and a partner of today, Chen Hao.
Chen Yu smiled and said: "Okay."
Shen Jiaze and his guests set a few words.
Chen Yu’s interest in the banquet was not great, and he wanted to find a place to hide. He happened to be here.
They have known each other before, and they have quite a chat.
Talking and talking, I don’t know how to talk about Gu Xi.
Shen Jiaze didn't want to ask, but he couldn't help it. He asked him: "Do you know Gu Xi?"
"Know." Chen said. "You didn't teach him."
Shen Jiaze laughed and suddenly stopped thinking about it.
Chen Hao seems to evoke memories. He smiled and said: "The kid is very interesting. For your uncle to lose weight, life has changed from a little fat man to a big beauty."
With a bang, the sound of the glass falling on the carpet was dull like a drum.
Chen Yu looked at Shen Jiaze in a wrong way: "What is it?"
Shen Jiaze face like a frost, he asked Chen Hao: "For my uncle to lose weight?"
Chen Yudao: "Amount...this..." He realized that he had made a mistake, but he did not know the relationship between Shen Jiaze and Gu Xi. He only thought that he exposed Gu Xi's sexual orientation.
Shen Jiaze said directly: "I know that Gu Xi likes men. Does he like my uncle?"
"You know." Chen Yu sighed, but soon he reacted again: "You... will not be in contact?"
Shen Jiaze’s face has been ugly to the extreme. He asked him:
Hey, tell me, does he like my uncle?
Chen Hao paused, but still said what he knew.
Gu Xi likes Shen Qing Xu.
Gu Xi wants to lose weight for Shen Qing.
After she became thin, Shen Qing Xu left the school.
Then there was a Shen Jiaze with a seven-eighth image of Shen Qing.
Shen Jiaze did not say goodbye, blowing the cold wind in the middle of the night.
He told himself, don't think about it, don't think about it!
However, the thoughts will not stop.
How could it be so smart?
Gu Xi has changed so much for Shen Qing Xu, is it easy to forget him?
If you haven't forgotten, what is he?
Shen Jiaze remembered their encounter. Every time I recalled, the dramatic scene would make him feel happy, but now... all have changed.
What was Guxi thinking at the time? Why do you want to make such a joke with a man who is always alive?
If he is not very similar to Shen Qingxu, will Gu Xi still have a love relationship with him?
At first, Gu Xi didn't like him. He just teased him. Shen Jiaze knew this very well.
But after Shen Jiaze thought that Gu Xi was slowly enjoying him, they were both sympathetic.
But now... everything is marked with a question mark.
Shen Jiaze didn't sleep for a night. He analyzed all the time in the past two years, thinking a little bit, looking at it a little bit, the more he looked at the heart, the cooler.
He and Shen Qingxu have only five facial features, and their personality is completely different.
What Guxi likes is the character of Shen Qingxu.
Mature... steady... meticulous...
Gu Xi’s mantra slammed into his mind.
"Shen Jiaze, can you mature?"
For a moment, the heart was so cool that Shen Jiaze stared blankly at the dark sky, and was overwhelmed by the huge darkness.
Shen Jiaze "missed" for two days.
In the past two days, many people have been mad, and Grandma’s grandmother can’t be stunned at night, and her brains are full of grandchildren.
Gu Xi still supported the first day, and the next day he was so anxious that he could not stay in the company. He left a pile of things and went to Shen Jiaze everywhere.
This annoyed Gu, who made Gu Xi find it back, and his face was reprimanded.
Gu Xi did not sleep one night and night, and worried about Shen Jiaze, the nerves tightened to the extreme, even so confessed.
He came out of the cabinet at the worst time.
Gu was mad at the scene and drove him out of the house.
Gu Xi couldn't take care of this anymore. He looked for Shen Jiaze everywhere and finally found him in his own home.
Shen Jiaze came back from him. He thought for two days and two nights and finally figured it out.
The past... just passed.
Gu Xi likes Shen Qing Xu is fine. Gu Xi regards him as a substitute for Shen Qing Xu. It doesn't matter. He has time and a lot of time.
As long as he is with Gu Xi, as long as the time is long, Gu Xi will only see that he only likes him.
Shen Jiaze does not want to lose Guxi, even if the sweetness of these two years may be an illusion, but he can not lose.
Would be good, Shen Jiaze told himself that everything will be fine, Gu Xi will love him.
Gu Xi looked at him with exhaustion: "What happened? Where have you been in the past two years?"
Shen Jiaze apologized and said: "Nothing, something happened at home, I know you are busy, I didn't want to bother you."
Gu Xi paused.
Shen Jiaze said: "Hungry? I am going to cook."
Walking into the kitchen, Shen Jiaze skillfully used these things that he wouldn't have at all, cooking and cooking, watching the dishes on the disk, Shen Jiaze's heart was shrouded in great sorrow - Shen Qingxu is very good at cooking.
Then they calmly spent a few months.
In the past few months, the two people have been calm on the surface, but they are actually physically and mentally exhausted.
Shen Jiaze was always shrouded in the shadow of Shen Qingxu.
Gu Xi and his family have completely fallen out, Gu Gu is really driving him out of the house, the company can no longer go, the funds are all frozen, he is penniless, do not know what to do next.
These did not tell Shen Jiaze, mainly Shen Jiaze is about to graduate, and he understands Shen Jiaze's character. If he knows that he is coming out of the cabinet, he may also be as confessed as his parents. When it is time, it will be chaotic.
Gu Xi is still on time every day, pretending to work, but in fact his whole person is completely confused.
At this time, the nightingale found him.
He asked him: "Don't you always want to be a director?"
Gu Xi stunned, yes, this is what he likes. Before he met Shen Jiaze, he always wanted to leave his family and do his own business.
But after knowing Shen Jiaze, he knew that he could not be willful. He had to take care of his family and let his father recognize himself, so that he and Shen Jiaze could be recognized. He also needs to prove himself to Shen, who deserves Shen Jiaze's liking.
And these, there is no way to be a director.
It was only now that everything was over. He was impulsive and forced himself to the point of desperation.
The nightingale encouraged him: "Let's cooperate? You are the director, I... I am an actor! Yes, I will stare you!"
Gu Xi reacted for a long time: "You... will act?"
The night said: "I can't learn! It's not difficult... I'm boring again, let's go to the entertainment circle!"
Gu Xi: "..."
The nightingale clears the scorpion and says: "I can still fund... Both of them have graduated. Don't worry about what to do at home. It is a serious matter to earn some private money first."
Gu Xi finally got around the bend.
Where is the nightingale wanting to act? He is just helping him by changing his way, trying to pull him from a perspective that he can accept.
Gu Xi’s heart is hot, and the whole person has the energy to work.
The nightingale is right, and it is imperative to make money.
Is there anything more money than this line? It's really hard to find.
Besides, he is good at and likes it, and he can do it well!
Gu Xi is busy again, and his mental state is much better. Although the road ahead is still confused, there are lovers who have friends, and the hard way can go on!
This situation continued until Shen Jiaze graduated.
After he graduated, Grandma couldn’t sit still.
She knew Shen Jiaze and Gu Xi in the morning, how can she let her grandson go on this road of no return?
When you are young, you can play it, you can't influence lifelong events.
So...there was a scene from the hotel.
Gu Xi looked at Shen Jiaze and slept with a strange girl.
This picture, no matter how long the past, no matter how clear the truth afterwards, Gu Xi’s feeling is only top-heavy.
The sky was full of exhaustion. He didn't know how he left, and he didn't know how he went home. He didn't even know how he calmed down.
Perhaps the innate instinct of human beings has played a role. He does not believe that Shen Jiaze will betray him, absolutely not believe.
As long as you don't believe, you will be more and more unbelief.
It's a coincidence... Why is it at that hotel? Why did someone send him a message?
Obviously it was deliberately led to him.
Gu Xi calmed down and found Yu Xinghai, let him help investigate.
After the truth, it was a "good play" between his father and Shen Jiaze's grandmother.
Shen Jiaze is innocent, Gu Xi breathed a sigh of relief and completely calmed down.
He can't make trouble with Shen Jiaze because of this. He can't break the feelings of the two because of this, and can't get their trap.
This is just the beginning, they will only face more, so... He and Shen Jiaze can't go wrong.
He said that Shen Jiaze there, after waking up, is really a catastrophe.
He slept with a strange woman, Gu Xi also saw...
When it's over, it's all over.
Gu Xi will not ask him any more, and he will never want him, even if he has such a face.
Shen Jiaze went to Guxi with a huge fear. He was anxious to explain, but Guxi was very calm. He only said in an understatement: "I know that you will not do that kind of thing."
Shen Jiaze stunned, and it took me a long time to return to God.
But his heart did not fall, and he feared that he would not disperse, but instead gathered together and became desperate desperation.
Gu Xi...not angry, Guxi... don't care.
When such a thing happened, Gu Xi was so calmly revealed.
why?
The reason is like a viper that licks his internal organs.
No love.
There is no sand in love, unless you don’t love it, how can you let it go?
Shen Jiaze’s feelings of forbearing for more than half a year could not be overwhelmed.
He is still thinking about it. He thought that Gu Xi had fallen in love with himself. He thought that Gu Xi was watching Shen Jiaze, but now... he dared not think about it.
Trying to comfort yourself as a substitute is not a problem, trying to tell yourself that time can heal everything...
But I can't do it, I can't do it.
The syrup has become sulfuric acid. How do you beat the heart that is immersed in it?
Shen Jiaze did not know what to do.
Can't let go, can't leave, want to tighten, but your hands are already bloody.
This is probably the most painful period of their time.
In the eyes of Gu Xi, Shen Jiaze has changed.
Shen Jiaze does not know what he is doing.
He wants to be different from Shen Qing. He doesn't want to be a substitute. He wants Guxi to be angry. If he is angry, does he mean that he cares about himself?
As if late adolescence, the already docile wolf dog became rebellious, even extreme.
He was drunk and drunk.
He didn't stay at night, and he didn't pick up a phone call.
He did a lot of things that he had never done before, and he looked forward to Gu Xi angry and afraid of his anger.
But Gu Xi is not angry: he is drunk, he takes care of him; he does not come back, he goes everywhere to find him; he does not pick up his phone, he sends him a message...
In fact, Gu Xi at this time also wants to be wrong.
He did not know Shen Jiaze's true feelings. He thought that Shen Jiaze was stimulated by his family. The taste of coming out of the cabinet is not good. He knows better than anyone else. Shen Jiaze must be under tremendous pressure. It is normal for him to want to vent.
Gu Xi felt that he should be tolerant of him, comfort him, give him time to adjust himself.
It is really a big mistake.
His tolerance is only to push Shen Jiaze to the deeper hell.
Is this a normal way of getting along with lovers?
No, this is not normal.
This is too abnormal for Shen Jiaze.
Faced with such calmness, it doesn’t matter so much, Gu Shi, Shen Jiaze feels that they are not lovers.
At least Gu Xi never used him as a lover.
Maybe Gu Xi just wants his face, so it doesn't matter what he does. He just has this face and everything is fine.
Shen Jiaze has not been able to take photos for a long time.
In such a morbid situation, Shen Jiaze himself did not know what he had done.
Tortured.
Except for these four words, nothing can describe them.
Gu Xi was very busy outside, but when he got home, he saw a bunch of people.
Shen Jiaze took people home...
Shen Jiaze, who never let any friend step into their home, brought a group of people who didn’t know to come back to drink.
Gu Xi’s head snorted and he stood still for a long time before he slowly calmed down.
He has to talk to Shen Jiaze, they need to talk about it.
Shen Jiaze couldn't talk to him.
The two opened and they had a big fight.
Gu Xi slammed the door and went to the nightingale.
The nightingale didn't know how to comfort him.
This mess has lasted for three full months.
Three months like a nightmare.
In the end, Gu Xi finally began to wonder if they fit together.
In fact, Shen Jiaze did not do anything too hot, nor did he violate any of the bottom line, but... but...
Gu Xi didn't want to quarrel with him.
What are the two people who love each other most afraid?
Cruel betrayal? Are you dead?
neither.
The former can suddenly wake up and forget it; the latter will have a beautiful love, a lifetime.
The most feared are the two people who love each other. Because of the reality, the most beautiful love is gradually disappearing.
Gu Xi can't stand it. He has never realized that he and Shen Jiaze are not suitable.
He loves him, but they are not suitable.
Even so, he still reluctant to separate, he wants to remedy, wants to save, and wants to find his previous days.
But he can't find the crux.
What made Shen Jiaze completely collapsed was that he saw Gu Xi who was very happy with Shen Qing Xu.
At this time, he only knew... Shen Qing Xu invested in a film directed by Gu Xi.
They... meet again.
Think about this time Gu Xi and his constant quarrel, he finally understood.
It turned out that he found the Lord, he did not need him as a substitute.
Shen Jiaze’s repressed emotions broke out completely. He and Gu Xi proposed:
We break up.
Speaking of these five words, Shen Jiaze’s heart is gray.
He hopes that Gu Xi refuses. He hopes that Gu Xi will not break up. As long as Gu Xi said, he would like to be a blind man as a blind man. When another Shen Qing Xu, he will become what he likes. He will be willing to be a substitute. He will never be extravagant. He does not want love. He Just Guxi.
Can be tired of the river.
Gu Xi lingered for a long time and slowly said: "Well, let's separate for a while."
The nightmare comes true.
Shen Jiaze finally stood in the deepest part of hell.
The two separated. Sweet or painful, nothing.
Gu Xi looked back and found that after Shen Jiaze left, his life lost all colors and became a dull gray.
He tried to film for the nightingale, and occasional happiness actually came from Shen Qingxu.
He had never seen Shen Qing Xu and Shen Jiaze similar before, but now, he saw Shen Jiaze through Shen Qing Xu, and he could barely find a little happiness when he saw the familiar facial features.
But this is just drinking and quenching thirst, Shen Qing Xu is not Shen Jiaze, no one is Shen Jiaze.
After the film was killed, Gu Xi also lost all motivation.
He wants Shen Jiaze, wants to see him, thinks that he can't wait for a minute or two.
The irony is that he couldn't find him.
Shen Qing Xu, right! Shen Qing Xu is his uncle.
Gu Xi went to Shen Qing Xu, and asked him to take him to see Shen Jiaze.
Shen Qing Xu helped him to Shen Jiaze.
Seeing the people who think about it, one has a smile in his eyes, but one is desperate and painful.
Gu Xi said to Shen Qingxu: "Can I talk to Shen Jiaze alone?"
Shen Qing Xu smiled softly: "Good."
Gu Xi also smiled for a long time.
His smile poked into the heart of Shen Jiaze like a root thorn. He thought he could not feel pain, but now his heart seems to be stirred into a ball, and he can't breathe.
What are they doing? He... what are you doing?
Show off? Still laughing at him?
Shen Jiaze looked at them, and the darkness in the chest broke out completely: "I will go to blind date."
Shen Qing Xu and Gu Xi are all stunned.
Shen Jiaze has completely lost his senses. He said: "Uncle, you are not used to persuade me, I will go to blind date, I will marry a beautiful wife."
Shen Qing had only reacted for a long time, he said: "You don't have to be stubborn, Mom, I will help you..."
No need!
Shen Jiaze said loudly.
I figured it out, Grandma is right, I should find a girl to marry, I should get married.
Gu Xi stayed for a long time and finally recovered. He barely smiled and whispered: "I... I am leaving first."
Shen Qing Xu pulled his hand: "You..."
Gu Xi swings his hand: "No need, no need!"
Gu Xi left, just like losing his soul.
Four years.
I paid all my feelings and got this.
Gu Xi does not know where to go.
A few days ago, Gu’s birthday, Gu Xi went back home, Gu’s father was furious, and the birthday banquet was a mess. He pointed his nose and yelled at him:
I don’t have a son like you, you give me a roll!
"I am raising you to make you mad at me?"
"If I can choose, I really hope that I didn't give birth to you that year!"
The family is not home, the lover is not a lover, and all that you try to get is lost.
Gu Xi was lying on the bed and thought of what he should not think about.
Since I don't want to be born, I will disappear.
No one needs him, what is he still alive?
The stronger the person, the more vulnerable it is at some point.
Gu Xi is actually a person who needs to be recognized and needs to be.
He is willing to take care of people, willing to pay, and willing to bear everything.
The pressure does not detract from him. He is not required to be the real sentence of his death.
If there is no nightingale, he may be really dead.
When the consciousness gradually blurred, a person cried and called his name: "Guxi... Guxi you... you don't do this, you... you..."
The nightingale...is the nightingale.
Does he still need him?
Woke up in the ward, watching the crying red-eyed nightingale and a worried night father...
Gu Xi survived.
He still has something to cherish.
Friends, dreams, he still has a lot...
"Don't cry..." The man's voice was full of confusion. He awkwardly wiped his tears and said, "What's the dream? Don't cry, don't cry..."
Gu Xi opened his eyes and crossed the long river of time. He saw Shen Jiaze, who is still familiar with what he still remembers.
Suddenly, all emotions could not be contained. His tears flowed fiercely, and his voice choked to almost impossible to complete his words.
"Shen Jiaze..." His forehead fell in his arms and cried, "I am scared."