Chapter 223 - Self-Analysis

Chapter 223: Self-Analysis
Translator: 
Atlas Studios 
 Editor: 
Atlas Studios

When Tang Yuanchu found Xie Wanwan, she was standing at a corner along the corridor, smoking a cigarette while looking out of the window.
She had deliberately lowered her cap which kept her face protected under the shadow where only the refracted light rays could reach her, so no one could have a clear look at her. From Tang Yuanchu’s perspective, that indistinctive, charming face of Xie Wanwan seemed to contain a lot of stories he could not understand…
Tang Yuanchu had come across many women who smoked.
In his heart, he never liked women who smoked. He always felt women who smoked had a rowdy and indecent aura.
However, Xie Wanwan did not give off that vibe.


Women who were beautiful just looked nice no matter what they were doing.
He did not feel repulsed by the beauty who was smoking leisurely. In fact, he even thought her actions were seductive as the smoke curled up her slender body as though entangled together, her graceful and sexy bearing was definitely different from those girls that Tang Yuanchu had come across around his age…
It was as though his subconsciousness was at work as he stopped in his tracks.
He was a few steps away, but he could not continue anymore.
He couldn’t bear to disrupt her.
He also wanted to retain such an aesthetically pleasing ‘portrait’ before him.
The two of them stood quietly at their positions, one after another with a distance.

You have cigarettes?

Xie Wanwan suddenly turned her head to look at him. That startled Tang Yuanchu.
He had thought she didn’t know about his presence.


Xie Wanwan’s eyes were half-opened indolently. There was as though an invisible string twirling around Tang Yuanchu’s heart as she looked at him… His heart was beating wildly, like a stone thrown into a peaceful lake, causing ripples to emanate in all directions.

Hey, I’m asking you a question.
Xie Wanwan lifted her chin, giving him an impatient glance.
Only then did Tang Yuanchu came out of his daze and noticed the cigarette butts she had snuffed out.

No, I don’t.


You don’t smoke?

Looking at her slightly raised eyebrow where there was obvious contempt, like that of an adult who did not think much of a child… Tang Yuanchu could not quite accept such a glance.
He hated it whenever Xie Wanwan acted like a person who had experienced a lot in life. That look of hers irritated him a lot.

I do smoke!
He slapped twice on his pocket.
It’s just that… I didn’t bring it with me.


Tsk…
Xie Wanwan rolled her eyes. She looked at his clean face and seemed to have thought of something.
Come here.
She giggled and beckoned him with a finger.
Tang Yuanchu was dumbstruck.


He knew very well this woman did not like him. He already concluded in his head that she must have something up her sleeve. Nevertheless, his legs did not listen to his head as he walked over to her.

What is it?
He stopped before Xie Wanwan, his heart pounding like drums in anxiety.

I have something to ask you,
said Xie Wanwan in a lazy tone. Her voice sounded a little muffled as though she had cried earlier.
Tang Yuanchu creased his eyebrows when Xie Wanwan closed into him.
She was really close, so close she could see his eyelashes fluttering about nervously.

Wow, kids nowadays have such long eyelashes?
Xie Wanwan spoke as though mumbling to herself. Then she shrugged and pointed her lips toward the direction of the private dining room.
So, you’re always together with those two?

The jump in the topic of her two sentences was too great.
Tang Yuanchu raised an eyebrow.
How should I answer this?


Just answer truthfully.


Which one?




I’m only interested in the latter.


Oh. The first question—I’m not a kid. Whatever is it that needs to grow have already grown.


…
Xie Wanwan lowered her line of sight to sweep a glance at him.

As for your second question.
Tang Yuanchu contemplated for a while as he looked at her warily.
I do hang out with them most of the time, and I do not want anyone to come in between them.

Xie Wanwan curled up her lips coldly in a half-smile.
To think you can make Little Bai trust you so much within such a short period. Guess you’re quite capable too.


That is simply because I’m trustworthy.


Alright!
Xie Wanwan felt a little amused as Tang Yuanchu held his head so high she could almost see his bulging veins.
In her opinion, verbal argument such as this would only bother kids.
She was only concerned about what she wanted to know.

Tell me! How did the two of them hook up?




…

Tang Yuanchu did not like her frivolous tone, especially the verb she used…
He asked,
You really wanted to know?


Yes.
Xie Wanwan nodded her head.
I really want to know. I want to know why and how I lost to her.

She did not want to hide her emotions in front of Tang Yuanchu anymore.
She did not think too deeply about why she chose not to hide from him. Since she had been exposed by him too many times, she thought she had become thick-skinned about it.
However, instead of replying to her, Tang Yuanchu remarked with a smirk on his face,
As I’ve said earlier, I’m a trustworthy man.


So?


So, I won’t tell you anything,
continued Tang Yuanchu,
feel free to be mad at me!


You…

This fellow needs to be taught a lesson…
Xie Wanwan did feel like doing so.
However, as she did not drink, she was too clear-headed, thus, unable to deliver a punch at him.

Fine, you’ve got guts.

Xie Wanwan rubbed her nose and walked past Tang Yuanchu, holding the lighter she had taken from Bai Muchuan.
She had walked a few steps when she stopped and turned to smile sweetly at him.

Little friend, you like to serve the people right?


I’m not a little friend.
Tang Yuanchu walked right up to her with a grim looking face.
You mean I don’t look like a mature man?

He seemed a little angry, and when he spoke to her, his Adam’s apple moved as well.
From Xie Wanwan’s height, she could see his Adam’s apple clearly… Only then did she realize that this young man, whom she had been calling a little kid, was actually very tall.
Xie Wanwan raised an eyebrow with a half-smile.
So, will this mature man help me get a pack of cigarettes?

It was obvious she did not mean it even though she called him a
mature man
. Tang Yuanchu was able to tell that.
However, he was unable to decipher that look of hers.
He was unable to read her and felt that her personality was quite annoying… But he was unable to refuse her request of buying a pack of cigarettes.
He put out a hand.
Money—

Xie Wanwan looked up at him.
…

…
The private kitchen did not have cigarettes for sale.
After Tang Yuanchu inquired at the counter, he went outside.
Xie Wanwan really did not want to go back, but she shouldn’t be loitering outside for too long, either.
Moreover, Bai Muchuan would be leaving Jin City tomorrow. She really would not know when she could see him again…
She was unable to convince herself to just leave like this.
She recollected herself, and the moment she entered the private dining room again, she had transformed back to the aloof and headstrong Xie Wanwan.

Okay, the overheating problem of a lightbulb is solved. We can chit chat normally now.

Xiang Wan took a friendly glance at her.
Where’s Tang Yuanchu?

Xie Wanwan did not show any emotion on her face.
He went to help get me a pack of cigarettes.


I see!
Xiang Wan gave a smile and turned to Bai Muchuan.
You both have a chat first. I need to go to the ladies.

…
The dining room was now quiet.
Xie Wanwan sat and leaned lazily against the chair. There was cold silence for a few seconds.

Your girlfriend’s a good woman.


Of course,
replied Bai Muchuan as a matter-of-factly.
Xie Wanwan was observing him so carefully that she even saw pride in his eyes.
A woman who could let a proud man feel pride for her…
Well, Xie Wanwan had a feeling she had not lost due to luck or courage.

What more can I say?
She puffed a sigh.
I can only wish you well.


Xie Wanwan.
Bai Muchuan remembered Xiang Wan’s words. There were some things that it was not suitable for him to bring up first.
You’ve already wished me well many times.


Oh is it? Guess I forgot.
Xie Wanwan ran her fingers through her hair.
Maybe I’m so old my memory’s failing.


Nonsense!
Bai Muchuan picked up his cigarette box and handed her a cigarette before lighting up one for himself.
We’ve known each other for many years.
He lowered his head as he took a deep puff.
We know each other very well.

Xie Wanwan just smiled and did not respond immediately.
She crossed her arms and looked at Bai Muchuan with a stern look.

You understand me?


Of course.


You’ve never understood me.


Hur! You’re tough and honest, just like a guy.


…

Xie Wanwan was at a loss of words as her gaze fell on his face again.
The cuffs of his shirt were slightly rolled up. When he smoked, his eyes were half-opened, his long black eyelashes concealed the sharp glint in his eyes, which made him look more indolent.
As well as sexier and manlier than usual…
Xie Wanwan sized him up. Gradually, she began to feel a little envious of the cigarette he was holding with his finger.

Little Bai,
she opened her mouth and noticed her voice sounded a little hoarse.
Why didn’t I notice earlier… that you’re so suave?

Bai Muchuan did not have much emotion.
You’ve said it many times.


Is that so?
Xie Wanwan scoffed.
I’ve forgotten.
She lowered her head to shield her pair of fluttering eyes.
So have I ever told you before you have a nice body shape that’s even more attractive than a male model? You have a good voice, too. Your voice sounded so mesmerizing that it’s more attractive than a voice actor.

Bai Muchuan’s eyebrows were slightly lowered as he looked at her.
So you’ve decided to go back being straight?


Yeah, I want to like men now…
Xie Wanwan pursed her lips.
Men’s better. They have muscles, strength, and can protect me…


You’re already as tough as a guy,
chuckled Bai Muchuan,
you sure you still need protection?

Her hand which was holding the cigarette quivered.
Some cigarette ash fell on the table and she hurried to clean it up.
Yet while she was wiping it, she suddenly stopped doing so and retracted her hand. She lifted her head to look at Bai Muchuan with a smile.

Little Bai, before today, I’ve always liked you.

For a long time, Bai Muchuan never moved.
A breeze blew past, bringing out a faint smile from Xie Wanwan.
But from tonight onward, I’ve decided not to like you anymore.

Bai Muchuan took a puff slowly—he showed neither approval or disapproval.
Not even a word.
Xie Wanwan felt that she was a failure.
It was not easy for her to finally pluck up enough courage to do a self-analysis, but all she got was a cold response.

Rest assured, I’m not that kind of person. You’ve known me for so long and should trust my character. Then why did I tell you that, you may ask? It’s because… If I don’t say it, I feel like I would not be able to let go. It’s been so many years… if I don’t even have the courage to tell you this, I’ll be unable to overcome it. I’ll even despise myself.

I’ve actually thought we were the same type of people.


We have come a long way. I had thought it will stay like this till the end. You won’t fall in love with me, neither will you fall in love with another woman. I had thought there will be no one else who will understand you like I do. Likewise, besides you, there won’t be another who will understand me… I just realized that I’m so wrong.

Xie Wanwan propped her head with a hand while the other held onto the cigarette.

Little Bai, it’s good that you did not choose me. She’s better than me. She has a future and she’s like the sunlight whereas I’m filled with darkness—

Silence.
It was still quiet in the private dining room.
Xie Wanwan took a deep breath and lifted her head to look at him.

Drink some liquor with me? Take it that you’re just drinking with a friend. After that, the Xie Wanwan who liked you and was never worthy of you will be gone forever. From then onward, you will have a friend called Xie Wanwan and nothing more.

After a silence of a little more than 10 seconds, Bai Muchuan finally responded.
Very well.

…