Chapter 2468: Keep deceiving yourself

We are all human beings for the first time. How do we deal with problems when we face them? Especially the relationship problem, the complicated things like the human heart, it is difficult to understand after a lifetime, I am so entangled now, maybe it is normal?
Yaxin, Yaxin, have you ever thought that you spent half your life in exchange for an ending like this, in fact, it was caused by your own obsession.
Wang Yaxin would not want to understand this, because the authorities are confused.
She looked up at the gray sky for a long time. She couldn't see the sun, but felt all over her body was hot. Even though it was only early summer and couldn't see the gunpowder smoke, she felt that she was covered with cuts and bruises. Those injuries were not cuts on the epidermis, but blood on the heart. mouth.
The dripping red blood seemed to erode her heart and her soul. Once she desperately wanted to find her figure in this world, but after so long, she found herself more and more confused. , Perhaps, from the beginning, I shouldn't be so self-reliant.
In this world, anyone can see oneself, discover oneself, interpret oneself, even examine oneself, but only oneself, cannot do this.
Many people may know self-examination, or even self-criticism. They may think that it is great to be able to do this. After all, not many people can really do it, but in fact, when they think like this , It means that they have not done self-examination at all, because true self-examination will not put themselves in the most central position.
Wang Yaxin seemed to suddenly realize that she is not a saint, just an ordinary woman. Brother Chun has a woman of flesh and blood, a woman of emotions, sorrows, sorrows, and ordinary mortals, how can he do things that even gods can’t do? What?
She may not be entangled anymore, or she may be more entangled.
Who knows?
Only Wang Yaxin knows the answer, right?
No, she herself had never found the answer.
When he bowed his head again, Wang Yaxin sighed slightly. In fact, no matter what, a person can spend his whole life. No matter how he lives, he is alive. Sometimes, there is no need to exhaust yourself so much, even if you are alone now. There are still two children with me, even if no one loves me, at least I love myself. This, for life, may be enough?
No matter how bad, there are friends.
Wang Yaxin took out her mobile phone. She wanted to make a call to Lin Shan at this moment, not for anything else, just to make her heart a little open-minded, just to stop making herself so depressed.
However, the call was unlucky. Lin Shan was busy with the scientific research director at the moment. The phone had already been set to silent mode. She didn't even hear the call from Wang Yaxin.
Putting down the phone, Wang Yaxin listened to the continuous tone on the phone, but a slight smile appeared on her face. She tried to ask her own heart, and the answer given in her heart was very positive. She wanted to talk to Fang Zhiqiang. If you keep going, no matter how you use it, as long as you can stay with Fang Zhiqiang, it may be a kind of happiness to your heart.
However, she also asked her own reason and the answer was very clear. Once she used to pursue the love for so long, when it finally came to her, she did not have a good grasp of it. Now, it has been After slipping away, I began to struggle with it. Isn't this self-reliant? Isn't this self-inflicted?
Since it was the mistake that you made, and since it was the fruit that you planted, why not suffer the corresponding consequences?
For more than 30 years, Wang Yaxin has long learned to bear everything, even if it is not his own problem, he will also bear the corresponding punishment, and even the consequences, let alone the mistakes he has committed. She has never had the habit of letting others pay for her mistakes. Even a true friend like Xue Donglin, Wang Yaxin has never done anything like this.
She doesn’t want to be a noble person, she knows, perhaps because the education she has received has been telling herself what kind of person she should be, or perhaps her own experience constantly reminds herself that she can’t be what kind of person .
In fact, all these are just the rules the world has set for itself. What kind of creatures are people? Why become the master of this planet? Isn't it because they have more advanced wisdom?
But what is wisdom used for?
In this era, wisdom seems to have become a weapon, used to silently restrain and regulate everyone's behavior, morals, and even thoughts.
An idea suddenly appeared in Wang Yaxin's mind, besides accelerating the pace of the progress of social civilization, what other effects did the education she received over the years? Perhaps primitive society is the truest form of human beings? At that time, human beings were free to do whatever they wanted, right?
However, freedom has to pay a price. Without those rules and constraints formulated with wisdom, human life will be a mess, and violent incidents may occur everywhere, which violates the norms of highly civilized.
Those with high intelligence have formulated five major human needs: physical needs, safety needs, sense of belonging and love, dignity, and self-worth.
When humans are in a primitive society, they can only have the first stage, but the security requirements are far from being met.
Wang Yaxin re-examined this sentence and discovered that the things derived from the original wisdom can withstand the scrutiny of history and the doubts of the masses.
Unfortunately, at this moment, Wang Yaxin still hopes that she can become a primitive person and return to primitive society. There is not so much moral restraint, and there is not so much ideological pressure, so she can only do what she wants to do and get what she wants. Those who want to get it, go to enjoy the happiness they want to enjoy. That way, it must be very chic, right? !
"Ha, Qiangzi, maybe you don't know, because of you, I have become neurotic now?" Wang Yaxin raised her head, exhaled a long breath, looked at the traffic in front of him, and muttered to herself.
If I didn't meet you, what kind of person would I be? What kind of life will there be? What kind of life am I now?
Wang Yaxin didn't know the answer, but she was sure that if she hadn't really known Fang Zhiqiang back then, her current living condition would be much better than this moment.
At least, in terms of feelings, I will not be as impoverished as I am now, like a beggar, begging for sympathy or even mercy from others.
What kind of experience is it to be a beggar in love?
Wang Yaxin knew it well.
...
In Wang Xia's view, Li Xiaoxiao's regret is inevitable, but she did not expect that Li Xiaoxiao would regret it so soon.
Maybe everyone is the same. When you are outside, you will never experience the feelings and feelings of the person involved, but when you have lost something, you will find that the most precious and most worthy of cherishment have always been Just by my side, just myself, I have never cherished it.
When Li Xiaoxiao’s parents were in good health, she never thought about how she should do her best to honor them, how to let them enjoy the happiness of family, and even, she never thought about how to'filial piety'. To express.
However, after Li Yonggui experienced that illness, Li Xiaoxiao seemed to have a sudden epiphany. In this world, there is nothing more important than being healthy and happy as a family. During the time he stayed in the hospital, Li Xiaoxiao thought about it a lot. She thought about what would happen to herself if her father were to die like this?
In the end, she could not think of the answer she wanted, because she had never thought about it, let alone what she should do without her father, or what she should think about, she only knew In the past, I was under the shade of my parents. I didn’t even think about many things. Some people would help me settle things. But once my father left, I suddenly seemed a little stretched. It turns out that in such a simple life, there are so many things done by myself. What about uncertain things? !
Li Xiaoxiao suddenly realized that his parents had paid so much for me? They are doing such a hard work, and they have to take into account their own emotions, even if it is an ordinary meal, they have to measure the nutritional content again and again, at which stage they have a clear nutrition matching plan, in order to be able to Let them grow healthier. They don't miss a single detail. What kind of love is that kind of love? Li Xiaoxiao seems to understand a little bit now, because she now has her own child. Whenever she is worried that her child will catch a cold, or worry that her child will not have enough to eat, she will think of her parents when she was a child. The way you treat yourself.
But in my own eyes, they were really annoying at that time. Even if they were already a teenager, they still treated themselves as a child. Wouldn't a teenager take care of himself? Why do they always feel that they are a child who is not growing up?
Now Li Xiaoxiao understands, because of love.
But Li Xiaoxiao had to admit that even if he understood this, he still could not achieve true filial piety.
What exactly is ‘filial piety’?
Blindly obedient?
Still to please blindly?
Li Xiaoxiao has been looking for ways to make herself comfortable and at the same time make her parents comfortable, but so far, she still has not found a way.
She wanted to keep her parents happy all the time and smile on their faces. At the time, she was very firm, and she also thought it was not a difficult task. As long as she learned to make them happy and not let them act You can do this if you worry about your own affairs.
But later she found out that the simplest things were the most complicated to do. Thinking back to the experiences of herself and Fang Zhiqiang some time ago, Li Xiaoxiao understood that none of the goals she had in her heart What I can achieve is that I not only kept my parents worried, but also failed to deal with the relationship between myself and Fang Zhiqiang. Until now, after divorcing, my parents still worry about me.
When I think of this, Li Xiaoxiao feels that what she has done is a mess. Sometimes, even she can't stand it. Perhaps, this is one of the reasons why she regrets now, right?
"Li Xiaoxiao, just keep deceiving yourself like this!"
Li Xiaoxiao sitting in front of the dressing table, looking at herself without makeup in the mirror, smiled coldly and muttered to herself.