Chapter 126: Moon (below)

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In the past, He Yan never felt that there would be such a difficult time in life.
She hasn't seen the moon in a long time.
After being blind, she is now living in a muddled way. Xu Zhiheng comforted her and will always be by her side. He Yan also smiled and said well, but even though the performance was calm again, her heart was still frightened. Throughout her life, she has faced many difficulties. Most of the time, she just stood up in one breath and told herself that it would be better to take this step. Unconsciously, many steps have been taken when I look back.
Only in this step, she could not cross it, nor did she know how to cross it.
He Yan, who is no longer General Feihong, became Grandma Xu, but just an ordinary woman. An ordinary woman is suddenly blind. Although her husband still treats her well, this kind of water seems to be a flower with a kind of illusory perfunctory. She can't feel it.
On Qixi, she sat in the middle of the night until Fu Zhiheng did not return. I thought it was because something was going on in North Korea, but I learned the next day that Xu Zhiheng accompanied He Wanru to the temple fair the first day. She fumbled for a seat under the window in the house and listened quietly to the chatter of the girl outside.
"Your uncle and his wife quarreled yesterday, so that the old man knows it. The master is in a bad mood, but those of us who are not good at it are unfortunate, not all because of the man in the Eastern Courtyard."
"Let me say that the uncle is too soft-hearted. This Eastern courtyard is now a blind man. How can our grandma's grandmother be a blind man? There is no joke. Madam has been pushing outside parties for the past few days. I just don’t want others to ask."
A little maid looked at her but couldn’t speak for her:
The grandma wasn’t born blind, but suddenly it’s already very pitiful.

"Poor? What is she pitiful? Even if she is blind, she can stay in the house every day and be served, at least without food and clothing, what is different from the pet. Poor is the uncle, young, just I'm going to be tied with this blind man for a lifetime. Our uncle only learned Wushuang, what kind of woman can't be found?
"Yes! Uncle is poor!"
Such words seemed to bring sharp hooks into her heart sentence by sentence, and she was dripping blood.
At night she sat in the house and waited for Xu Zhiheng to come back and said to him: "Let's go away."
When Xu Zhiheng was startled, Wen Sheng asked, "How do you say this?"
"Or you can take me off." She doesn't like to turn around, to be honest, "I can't see it now, there is no need to drag you down."
"You and I are a husband and wife," Xu Zhiheng held her hand and said, "Don't mention these anymore, take a break earlier."
He diverted his words, but he did not deny He Yan's word "drag."
He Yan's heart gradually sank.
Every day after that, she was wearing clothes to open her mouth every day to reach out, and often heard the ridicule of the people in the palace secretly. Mrs. Xu talked to her with a gun and a stick. He Yan dragged down Xu's family.
Xu Zhiheng still treated her tenderly, but there was nothing but tenderness.
He Yan felt very tired.
She seemed to be walking on a dark night road with no pedestrians beside it. She couldn't see the light in front of her, and there was no place for her to retreat. She didn't know when she would come to an end, ending this tortured life.
A few days before the Mid-Autumn Festival, she said to Xu Zhiheng: "I know the Yuhua Temple on the Lianxue Mountain. There is a fairy tree in the temple that is particularly spiritual. During Mid-Autumn Festival, can we go to the mountains? I want to hang silk on the tree. Wish, maybe my eyes can be cured."
From blindness to this point, she almost never asked Xu Zhiheng, Xu Zhiheng stunned for a moment, and finally agreed. He said: "Okay."
When Xu is in bad luck, he drinks cold water and stops his teeth. The Mid-Autumn Festival in previous years was sunny, but this year it rained continuously. When the carriage walked up the mountain, it was gloomy, and it was impossible to go down that afternoon. Maybe you have to stay on the mountain for one night.
Xu Zhiheng helped her to go up and down in the temple, and a monk put a piece of red silk in her hand and told her where the fairy tree was located behind the temple. He Yanmo thanked the man with red silk.
The monk folded his palms and said in a benevolent voice: "If there are hundreds of disasters, the work will not die, and when you meet in fate, you will repay yourself."
She doesn't understand Buddhist scriptures, and she has to ask again later, the other party has gone far.
Under the rain, Xu Zhiheng accompanied He Yan to the fairy tree.
There are stone tables and stone benches next to the fairy tree in order to write for pilgrims who usually hang red silk. Xu Zhiheng paved the red silk for her, put the pen in her hand, and said, "Write."
Based on his feelings, He Yan wrote slowly: I hope to see the moon.
Don't think about it, and know that the handwriting must be crooked.
After writing the words, she handed the red silk into Xu Zhiheng's hands, and Xu Zhiheng hung the fairy tree for her. He Yan couldn’t see anything, so she didn’t see it. Her husband stood up and hung the red silk on a branch near his elbow. He didn’t even bother to stretch his hands to tie the red silk, and he just laid it on. There was no place in the tree to cover the rain, but for a moment, the red silk was wetted by the rain, and the writing on it quickly turned into a blur of ink stains, and it was unclear what exactly was written.
"Let's go." Xu Zhiheng came to help He Yan leave.
With a thunder, a fine thunder sounded, and suddenly a cool breeze blew, blowing branches rustling, and the red silk that had not been tied down was blown down by the wind, hitting the small pit with water and splashing Muddy.
He Yan seemed conscious and asked worriedly: "The wind is so strong, won't the silk be blown away?"
"How come?" Xu Zhiheng smiled and relieved: "It's tight." He said, as if he didn't see it, he lifted his feet and walked over the red silk.
...
There was no trace of rain to stop, so I had to stay in the mountains tonight.
Xu Zhiheng went to the master of Yuhua Temple to discuss the classics. It was already evening, and the house was lit with lights, and He Yan sat quietly.
Originally, at this time, she should have collapsed and rested—a blind man who had nothing to do except sleep and dinner. But tonight the rain was sparse, she couldn't sleep, and she didn't know what time it was at the moment. She called the maid's name twice and no one answered, so she helped the wall and walked away slowly, planning to call someone.
Just walked to the door, I heard two maids talking.
"Just now I heard the grandma calling someone?"
"Is there? Call it, don't care, so late, what to ask people to do. They are already blind and still tossing, I really think I am a grandma."
He Yan was startled.
These two maids are not her personal maid, but are in Xu Zhiheng's house. On weekdays, her temperament is most gentle and gentle, and because of Xu Zhiheng's relationship, she has always treated her with respect and respect.
"If it weren't for her to go up the mountain today, we don't have to spend the Mid-Autumn Festival here. It's still raining outside. It's really sullen. The uncle is so kind that he is not annoyed to bring such a tow bottle."
"You don't know the uncle's temperament, on the surface it is not annoying, there is always a must in my heart. Our Xu family is now a joke in the capital. The uncle has always been arrogant and uncomfortable. If I were her, He hanged a rope and dragged others down."
"Hush! This is nonsense!"
The talking maid disagreed, "It was originally, like an animal, waiting for people to feed every day. When it was full, it fell asleep. It was always served by people. It could neither leave the house nor see it. Taste, it’s okay for a year or two, it’s the same for a lifetime, what’s the point of living? It’s better to die early and get rid of it early. Let me cast a good tire for the rest of my life, you can see it.

"Don't say, there is hot water outside, let's get some hot water first."
The footsteps gradually disappeared.
He Yan turned her back to the door and slowly slid down.
Yeah, it’s okay for a year or two, and it’s the same for a lifetime. What's the point of living?
The maid in the master's house, the master looks up to whoever he dare not trample on. If these two people can talk about her so casually, you can see that Xu Zhiheng is not in the house as complaining and regretless as before her eyes.
But in this world, there are a few people who can do it without regret.
He Yan didn't know if there was a light in the room. For her, it was all the same darkness. Suddenly, there was a feeling of grayness. He practiced martial arts when he was young, went to school when he was young, and later went to the battlefield to fight for military merit. Finally, he took off his mask and thought that everything could start again, but at this time he fell into darkness and trapped his life in a house with four corners.
People's despair is not accumulated overnight. Those little things in daily life, eaten up the enthusiasm of whale swallowing people, a little bit of enthusiasm was consumed, disappointment and heavy layered up, the last straw fell lightly, with a clatter, hoping to sink to the bottom.
Despair is overwhelming.
She fumbled and stood up slowly.
There was a belt left over from the clothes in the room. She grabbed the outer skirt indiscriminately and put it on. She picked up the bamboo pole used when she was blind and trembling out the door.
People in the mountain temple were scarce, and because it was dark and rain outside, the monks had already entered the Buddhist temple. She walked indiscriminately, but did not hit anyone else.
Thanks to the fact that when young men were in the army, they reluctantly developed the habit of having amazing memories of their journey. She remembered that Xu Zhiheng told her when she was going up the mountain that there was a jungle in the mountain stream not far from the temple. Suspended waterfalls, like pearls and jade drops, are magnificent and beautiful.
There are mountains, water and trees, which is not bad. It is a pity that it rains tonight and there is no moon she likes.
It is always inconvenient for a blind man to go out, especially in the muddy mountain road. She did not know how many times she had fallen and how many times she had tripped over a stone. I just felt that my clothes were wet and the bun was scattered. In the end, he was breathless and had no idea where he was going.
She fell in front of a tree, her head knocked on the trunk. He Yan reached out and fumbled for the past. This tree is very large, it should be an old tree.
The dense forest with waterfalls is probably not found, just here. She didn't pay much attention to foreign objects, and it took her a long time to move to a rock.
Exhausted, He Yan sat down on the stone.
The rain was smaller, and it hit the people densely. The young woman looked up to the sky as if she could see the moon. Only the rain slipped down her cheek, and she wiped a handful of water from her face.
"Mo Zuojiang goes to the boat, Mo Zuojiang goes to the moon."
"The boat will leave, and the moonlight will leave."
For this world, she has no place to miss. The only frustration is that there is no moon tonight.
He Yan stood up slowly and touched the cloth at hand. The cloth was tied tightly. She pulled down and was very stable, and should not be disconnected.
Kicked the stone away.
...
The silk that was twisted into a rope broke in response to the sound.
He Yan was caught off guard and fell to the ground.
The mud on the ground splashed on her, and she froze for a moment, suddenly realizing that the cloth was broken.
It broke off?
For a moment, it was difficult to restrain inexplicable grievances and bitterness in her heart, sobbing for a moment, then sobbing quietly, and then, lying on the ground and crying.
He Yan rarely shed tears.
For a general, tearing is a behavior that greatly affects morale. On the battlefield, she will always maintain her self-confidence and vitality, as if no one or anything can affect her judgment. When you don't want to be a general, and you want to shed tears, you feel that you are hypocritical.
But there are always times when people are vulnerable, when they are left out, when they are blind, when they are blind, when they hear ridicule from their maid, they can be kept, and when they are hinted by their mother-in-law that they are towing oil bottles.
But if she couldn't even find death, and even cut the silk, she would be unable to bear it.
The tears were hot, and there was a big drop of mud running down the cheek and the dirt underneath him. I couldn't tell which was the rain or the tears.
She was crying, and suddenly she heard a strange voice.
It was a man’s voice. In the wind and rain, the voice was low and sweet, with a little impatience, and asked, "What are you crying for?"
He Yan's cry stopped abruptly.
Xiao Jue looked at the woman in front of her.
This is a woman who is looking for death. Wearing a white blouse, he took a red outer garment. The outer garment even had a belt tied upside down. Xu Shi fell a lot on the road, and the clothes were knocked out of the mouth. Her face was also dirty, like a cat, and there was mud everywhere.
Xiao Jue came to love cleanliness, only felt that this scene was very dazzling, and finally couldn't help but take out a white paparazzi and handed it over.
The woman did not pick it up, made a defensive posture, and asked, "Who are you?"
He was surprised for a moment, noticing that the other person's eyes were a little distracted, thinking for a moment, put away the veil, crouched down and asked, "Can't you see?"
The woman was stunned for a while and answered fiercely: "Yes! I am a blind man!"
The toes are arrogant.
Fei Nu stood behind him and was about to step forward, Xiao Jue gently shook his head at him.
He Yan held his fist vigilantly.
But I wanted to hang it quietly. Okay now, the cloth was cut off, and the stranger saw the embarrassment. Why does God always treat her so unexpectedly?
Xiao Jue glanced at her lightly, stooped down and picked up the flying knife on the ground. Only then did he use this to wipe off the cloth on the tree.
"What do you want to do?" He Yan asked.
Xiao Jue: "Passing."
He is really not a good-hearted person who likes to talk about business.
To do this, I have done my best. Xiao Jue stood up, turned around and walked, walked a few steps, Fei Nu approached, whispered: "Today Yuhua Temple only has Han Lin bachelor Xu Zhiheng and his wife, this woman should be blinded by grandma Xu, He Yan."
He Yan? He raised an eyebrow, He Rufei's sister?
Xiao Jue turned to look.
The woman has fumbled to find the cloth cut in two pieces. The cloth is not long, but it can be used in two pieces. She first used half of the cloth to make a double stroke on her neck, determined that it was still usable, and then wobbled it with a knot.
She actually wanted to hang again.
Xiao Jue was unbelievable, and later wanted to laugh.
This kind of perseverance is almost stupid, which is very similar to her cousin.
Most people searched for death, but it was only a moment of enthusiasm, and they jumped to the lake and jumped off the cliff with one breath. As for the moment, most people will regret it, but it is too late.
Since this woman has tasted the dying taste, when she will not seek death again, she did not expect to be so attached, and she would continue when the rope was broken.
He shouldn't care, no one will stop someone who wants to die.
But in Xiao Jue's mind, it suddenly appeared many years ago. It was also such a Mid-Autumn Festival night, when the young man went back to the house, waiting for the mother's cold body.
The scene in front of him seemed to coincide with the past, and for a moment, he couldn't tell where it was tonight.
Feinu was behind him, looking at him puzzled.
Xiao Jue took a deep breath and finally compromised, walked over to the woman and asked, "Why are you looking for death?"
He Yan was startled.
She has clearly heard the steps of the other party leaving, how could she suddenly return? She spent all her life seeking for perfection and being at the mercy of others. Now that she has come to the head, she no longer wants to think about others. This person's busy business has made her unhappy, so she is angry at the other party.
She almost shouted back: "I want you to control!"
The young man grabbed her arm and dragged her off the ground.
He Yan was shocked and struggled twice, but she had stumbled and lost her strength, but she could not see it. She was dragged away for a while, took two steps, was dropped, and she sat on the ground.
The ground is soft, a piece of grass.
The man seemed to be standing beside her, bending over to her, his voice cold: "Why are you looking for death?"
He Yan also suffocated in his heart and said loudly: "I said I want you to control! There is no moon today, so I seek death! The road up the mountain is too slippery, so I seek death! I have to break the rope, so I Seek to death! I met people like you who are busy with business, so I am looking for death! Is it okay!"
She yelled fiercely, but her tears rolled down. It was a fierce tiger, which looked more like a wet, wet cat with nowhere to go.
Fei Nu stood nervously behind Xiao Jue.
It's very rare that the second son Xiao is willing to be patient with this kind of nosy business. This woman is still so fierce and even rare.
After He Yan roared, he suddenly felt something wiped on his face. Soft and dense as clouds ripped off in spring.
Indifferent, with a hint of imperceptible, inclusive warm comfort sounded.
"If you really want to be strong, why not be blind, even if you are blind, you can be the most different of the blind."
Her rage stopped abruptly.
All the embarrassment and weakness are invisible, all exposed to people.
"Nothing, although you can't see it, but you can still hear it. It's alright to have you with me." She said to Xu Zhiheng with a smile.
How could it be fine?
How is it okay?
She used her fingers to trace her eyes over and over again in the night, praying to heaven to pity to see the light again the next day. Those nights that turned around, clenched their teeth to say that it was okay, nights that pretended to be unable to manage themselves if nothing happened, they didn't know.
They don't understand anything.
A stranger passing by understood.
You can't cry, you can't be seen weak, you can't complain, you can't lose your temper. It's been too long, and these emotions are like silkworms spinning, layering her into a solid cocoon. She sat alone in the cocoon, isolated from the outside world.
He Yan outside the cocoon is gentle, optimistic, and always smiles for the sake of others. He Yan in the cocoon, suffering, grievances, suppressed all calls for help.
Over the years, from "He Rufei" to "He Yan", her mask has never been taken off.
Until tonight, a stranger passing by saw through everything, took off her mask, and found her tears.
All her precautions and vigilance deflated in an instant, slowly lowering her head, tears smashed down more.
Originally thought that after finishing this sentence, He Yan wouldn't cry anymore, but she didn't expect to cry more loudly. There was no trace of rain to stop, and the grass underneath was wet with rain.
Xiao Jue hooked his finger, Feinu stepped forward, he took the umbrella in Feinu's hand and propped it on He Yan's head.
He Yan still did not stop.
He had never seen such a fierce, grumpy woman who was particularly capable of crying. It was hard to imagine He Rufei's stupid and happy character, who would have such a completely different sister.
Xiao Jue was so stunned that he could not bear it, and finally said, "Don't cry."
"Why can't I cry," she didn't know any kind of wild cat, she showed her paws to the feeder, her voice was dumb, and she had to argue: "I not only cry, I have to seek death, I have already done this, What does it mean to be alive, woo woo woo..."
Xiao Jue: "..."
He has never coaxed a woman, is this the first time to coax a woman? So oil and salt will not enter?
"What on earth would you not cry?" He swallowed his anger, "Will not continue to hang."
He Yan cried choking chokingly. She came here, but she had no thought of seeking death. Sometimes people are just stuck at that juncture, past is past, past is not enough. This passer-by came out inexplicably, and that sentence was not very warm, but...
However, she didn't want to die.
She said: "If you can give me a piece of sugar now, I won't be looking for death."
When I was young, I loved to eat sweet things, but after five years old, Madam He took very strict care of everything about her. Afraid of being exposed, the habit of being sweet like a girl would have to be changed. Later, I joined the army. There were no sweet candies in the army, only dry cakes. After marrying someone, once He Yan saw He seemed to be sick, Xu Zhiheng went to see her, and specially brought her a small box of preserves.
He Wanru took a sip of medicine, and Xu Zhiheng stuffed a candied fruit into her mouth. He Yan saw it when she passed by the window. In a moment, she felt sour in her heart, wondering if he envied Xu Zhiheng for being so good to He Wan, or envying He Wan for a little bit of bitterness, he would get a lot of sweetness.
He Yan has never been capricious, but tonight I don’t know why, it seems that he wants to exert his willfulness to the extreme on this stranger.
The young man stunned slightly, looking sideways at the people around him.
The woman's face was rubbed a few times by the veil, her cheeks were still muddy, and her eyes were slightly red and swollen, but they were surprisingly bright and stubborn.
It looked like a clumsy boy.
He was silent for a moment, his slender fingertips unravelling the sachets around his waist.
Feinu was surprised.
The dark cyan bag was held in his hand. He pinched the bottom of the bag, and an osmanthus candy wrapped in sugar paper was poured out.
After too long, the sugar paper and sugar were stuck together, and the original look could not be seen. After Madam Xiao's death, Xiao Jue carried the last osmanthus candy with him. Over the years, this candy has accompanied him through many difficult years. When you can't hold on, look at this sugar, it seems that you can taste the sweetness on earth.
This is the only sweetness in his life. Now, he is going to give it to a woman who is crying and looking for death. He thought that his life no longer needs sugar, so be it.
He Yan felt something stuck in his hand.
She subconsciously clenched, just want to peel.
"Can't eat." The man's voice rang around him.
"What?" she said: "Are you lying to me? Just find a stone and tell me it's sugar?"
He Yan heard the other party's voice, with a slight sense of regret, "This sugar is the last one in the world. It's sweet, but you can't eat it."
"Are you sick?" He Yan never knew that she was such a decent person. She thought that this person must have a good temper and a soft heart, so that she could tolerate this kind of nonsense, she said: " It’s very sweet and can’t be eaten. There is only one in the world. Isn’t it possible for your majesty to give it away?

She did not see that the handsome young man sitting next to her lowered her head and smiled indifferently, saying: "More precious than Yuci's."
Taking advantage of the other party's inattention, He Yan quickly opened the sugar paper and stuffed it into his mouth.
"You..." He stunned.
"I've eaten it and swallowed it!" He Yan played a rogue.
The other party did not answer.
This is the first sugar she received in her life. The taste of the sugar is very strange, mixed with her tears, so bitter, she thought, so be it.
"Did the rain stop?" She didn't feel the rain falling on her body. She reached out and scratched indiscriminately, asking the people around her.
The young man on the side has been kneeling on one knee, holding an umbrella for her, the umbrella surface is not large, most of his body has been wet, the angled side face, the eyelashes are stained with fine drops of water, and the eyes will be out of a layer A touch of gentleness.
"Stopped."
"Is there a moon in the sky?"
The sky is heavy, and there is no star battle. Where does the moon come from?
He answered: "Yes."
"What does it look like outside?"
"The bright moon is like frost, the good wind is like water, and the clear scenery is infinite."
He Yan smiled for the first time tonight, "It's great."
She heard someone on her side ask, "Don't you want to die?"
"forget about it."
"Go home without wanting to die," he said, pulling He Yan up. He Yan subconsciously grabbed his hand, the slender, slender hand had been released very quickly.
Xiao Jue walked to Feinu and whispered: "People are sent to the sister-in-law's room, and the sister-in-law is sent back. I am a man, so it's inconvenient to come forward."
Flying slave should be under.
When he was leaving, he suddenly added another sentence: "Warning Xu Zhiheng, tell him not to do too much."
This is to mean that He Yan is in his early stages.
Fei Nu came over to support He Yan. He Yan seemed to feel that the other party was leaving, reaching for the man's direction. She said, "...Thank you, who are you?"
He didn't speak, and He Yan had no time to grab a corner of a sleeve and slip past her, cold and soft, like moonlight.
She could not see anything, but she saw the light in a trance, warm and cool, hot and bright, without half blame, patient, accommodating, seeing through all her secrets at a glance, and wrapping her gently.
She didn't know who the other person was in the end.
That was what He Yan spent. The worst Mid-Autumn Festival was muddy and unkempt. It was only a minute away from the desperate situation. Fortunately, the moon was always by her side.
There was no moon that night, but the moonlight that night was so beautiful, that thin and soft light has been warming her for many years.