Chapter 122:

Li Yan didn't know what to use to pry the door open. When he came in, he held two glasses of water in his hand and turned on the light in the room with his elbow.
Suddenly, the light that filled the entire room made Gu Fei choke for a while. The jumping pain radiated from his eyes quickly dissipated, and his head, neck and shoulders felt soreness.
He covered his eyes with his hand: "Turn off the lights."
At the same time when he said these two words, he and Li Yan were both stunned. He could hardly hear the dry voice as his own, like a mouthful of sand.
Li Yan put the water on the table. In the past, he turned off the lamp, turned on the small table lamp on the table, and pressed down the lamp cover of the table lamp against the table.
The light in the room went down, and Gu Fei felt quite comfortable.
"Er Miao drink some water," Li Yan took a glass of water and squatted in front of Gu Miao, "thirsty?"
Gu Miao moved after a while, took the cup, held his head up and began to pour into his mouth. After drinking a glass of water, he wiped his mouth.
"Hungry?" Li Yan said, "Er Miao, look at me, are you hungry? Hungry there are cakes on the table in the living room, and the kind of jelly you like."
Gu Miao did not move, watching Gu Fei.
"Brother is okay," Li Yan said, "brother will go in a moment, you go eat first."
Gu Miao slowly slid off the sofa and walked out against the wall.
Li Yan handed another glass of water to Gu Fei: "What the is going on? The camera fell?"
Gu Fei said nothing and took a sip of water.
Probably it was too long to drink and eat, and he didn't talk. When the water passed through his throat, he felt some pain.
After taking a few more sips, it was a little better, but it was still a little clogged. He only reacted at this moment. He should be swollen with anger.
After slowly drinking a glass of water, Gu Fei felt that the numbness in his body had faded slightly, but the package that followed him was tired and weak.
Not physically, but rising from the bottom of my heart, deep in weakness, no longer willing to move, wherever the wind blows, he pours wherever he goes, and where the water flows, he just drifts.
Never want to do any more struggle.
"Did Jiang Yan call you?" Gu Fei asked.
The voice was still dry and uncomfortable.
"Well," Li Yan said, "I told him your phone broke."
"Do you believe it?" Gu Fei said.
"I don't believe it," Li Yan said.
"My phone really broke," Gu Fei raised his hand, "I used your phone to use it."
Li Yan took out his cell phone and put it in his hand.
When the mobile phone fell into the palm of his hand, Gu Fei felt that his entire arm could not bear this little weight, or at this moment his mobile phone was like a brick. After a while he said: "Go and stay with Ermiao for a while."
"Dafei." Li Yan looked at him and seemed to want to say something.
He didn't look at Li Yan. Li Yan turned around after standing beside him for a while and took the door.
In Li Yan's phone call history, the most recent record was Jiang Yan, called an hour ago.
He stared at the name all the way to the black screen.
After lingering for a long time, he lit the screen again, and tapped his fingertips on Jiang Yan's name.
The phone shook slightly before it reached the ear. Jiang Yan picked up the phone over there: "Li Yan?"
"I." Gu Fei said.
"Gu Fei?" Jiang Yan's voice was anxious, and there was a sigh of relief when he heard his voice, "I'm really broken by your phone?"
"Um." Gu Fei answered.
Jiang Yan's voice seemed like he hadn't heard it in a lifetime, and he closed his eyes.
"What's wrong with you?" Jiang Yan paused. "Sick? Why is your throat so dumb?"
"Get angry." Gu Fei said.
"Is something wrong?" Jiang Yan asked.
This kind of hesitation, carefully asked to make Gu Fei's heart hurt as if being twisted.
"Er Miao broke my camera lens." Gu Fei said.
"Ah, I haven't gotten steady enough," Jiang said for a moment, then his tone became relaxed. "Is that for you? What kind of shot is it? I ’ll just give you one. Your brother just got today For tutoring money. "
"I broke my phone." Gu Fei said.
"It's okay," Jiang Yan smiled. "Your mobile phone has been used for a long time anyway. When I played for you last time, I put a big trick card for a few seconds before moving it. Let me change it for you ... ... "
"You," Gu Fei interrupted his uncle's words. His unbelievable but forcibly relaxed tone made him breathless, "Can you ignore me?"
Jiang Yan suddenly lost his voice.
Gu Fei did not speak.
After being silent for a while, Jiang Yan said, "What do you mean?"
"How many jobs did you do?" Gu Fei asked.
"Just two tutors," Jiang Yan said, "the weekend ..."
"Two copies are not enough," Gu Fei said. "There are many places to spend money."
"Huh?" Jiang Yan said.
"Three, four may be enough," Gu Fei closed her eyes. "To study, to review, to study psychology, to work, to think about boyfriends and boyfriends and sisters."
Jiang Yan didn't say anything.
"Do you really look in the mirror?" Gu Fei said, "Don't you know what it looks like you are tired?"
"I'm not tired." Jiang Yan said, his voice was a little hard.
"You have been there for a semester. Have you ever left the school for a kilometer, except for tutors?" Gu Fei said, "You said a few times that your classmates went out to play, why don't you go?"
Jiang Yan was still silent.
"You don't have time to go," Gu Fei said, "because you have to put your rest time on your boyfriend and boyfriend's sister."
"Everyone is fighting hard, and I don't think I'm any different," Jiang Yan said. "I'm not interested in where to go."
"Why do you fall in love?" Gu Fei said, "Don't you know what it is like when you fall in love?"
"There is no fixed pattern for love. Everyone's love is different. Why do they have to be the same as others?" Jiang Yan's voice started to be dull. And I'm sick of Ermiao ... "
"But I'm tired." Gu Fei said.
The earpiece suddenly became very quiet, only Jiang Yan's breath could be heard.
It took a long time before he asked, "What?"
"I'm tired." Gu Fei repeated.
"What did you say?" Jiang Yan's voice trembled, and the second half was silent.
"I'm tired, brother," Gu Fei said, "Don't pull me anymore, I don't want to be dragged by anyone, forget it."
There was no sound at all on Jiang Yan's side, and he could not even hear the sound of previous breathing.
Gu Fei took the phone to his eyes, clicked to hang up, and then turned off Li Yan's phone.
"Are you all right?" Zhao Ke stood in the toilet with Jiang Yan.
Jiang Yan didn't speak, just waved at him.
"Just an hour, vomit three times," Zhao Ke looked at the time, "all dumb, is it all right?"
Jiang Yan coughed twice, turned to the side of the pool and started to wash his face. The water splashed on his face for more than ten times before he eased slightly from the huge pain caused by the cramped stomach.
"Let's go to the hospital?" Zhao Ke followed him and walked to the dormitory. "I've been eating and drinking the same as you all day long. You must not be eating badly. Go and see. Don't get sick Ah? Your throat is suddenly dumb! "
Jiang Yan took out his mobile phone, opened the notepad, and typed a few words.
-Stress response
"Stress?" Zhao Ke looked at him. "What stimulus did you get to make this happen?"
-Go to class first, I'll just sleep
Jiang Yan punched him, turned into the dormitory, climbed to the bed without even taking off his clothes, and closed his eyes with a tie on the pillow.
"Call me if you have any questions." Zhao Ke poured his thermos into the bed and placed him on the bed, climbed up the stairs to cover him, and walked out after standing for a while.
Go to sleep.
Go to sleep.
Fall asleep immediately.
It ’s good to fall asleep, I do n’t know when I fall asleep, I do n’t feel bad when I fall asleep, I do n’t remember when I fall asleep ...
Go to sleep.
Don't think about anything, go to sleep.
But I'm tired.
I'm tired.
I'm tired, my brother.
Don't pull me anymore.
sleep.
Go to sleep.
Please, Jiang Yan, go to sleep.
Go to sleep.
Gu Fei gave up.
Gu Fei actually gave up.
Jiang Yan felt that his teeth were bitten tight, his whole body was tight, and even his toes seemed to be tight.
The hand also kept fisting.
The thumb held in the palm of his hand was faintly hurt.
The stomach began to feel uncomfortable again, but he knew he could not spit out anything, and the water was gone.
He shrank into a ball, trying to relieve the discomfort from the stomach, but it was useless, and the uncomfortable feeling quickly spread to his chest.
The heart seemed to be grabbed and squeezed, and he couldn't breathe, and every time he breathed, pain came out of his chest, crawling along his nerves to the whole body.
Chest, back, arms ...
A heart attack is about to happen.
Jiang Yan, do you have a heart attack?
He laughed.
He laughed so hard that he couldn't stop.
But he couldn't hear his voice, his throat was completely silent, and he couldn't laugh anymore.
Tears still shed.
It's not easy.
He originally thought that he would not cry anymore, and the whole man was blind. He had never been able to return to God. He thought he would carry him like this.
But still crying.
Crying sadly.
Mother gun.
There weren't many tears in it. Jiang Yan wiped his face with it, maybe he couldn't cry.
It turned out that his throat was so dumb that he couldn't laugh or cry.
My hand touched something soft.
Jiang Yan opened his eyes. The sunny doll by the pillow was looking at him. His black eyes were very bright.
At this moment, Jiang Yan felt that he was about to collapse.
He held the baby in his arms and held it fiercely.
what--
He wanted to hiss and cry, exhaustingly, crying hard, loud, and exhaustingly, maybe to make him feel better.
But no.
He could only hear the rustle in his dummy.
It's not fun.
Too bad.
Jiang Yan stayed in bed all night and did not know whether he was awake or asleep, all night was chaotic.
When I opened my eyes, I could see a little sunlight on the wall near the bed.
He stared for a long time.
"Jiang Ye," Zhao Ke's voice came from under the bed. "If you have porridge, get up and drink some porridge."
Ok.
Jiang Yan wanted to answer, but his voice was still silent, and seemed to be more dumb than before.
He sighed slightly and sat up slowly.
His hair rose, and when he sat up, he felt that all the weight inside and out of his body was falling down, and he couldn't even straighten his waist.
Sunny doll is still in his arms, his eyes are still very bright.
He put the doll back to the pillow, thought about it after retracting his hand, reached out again, and patted it twice on his head.
When he got out of bed, Zhao Ke, who had never said a swear word, looked at him with a sincere emotion: "Fuck me."
Jiang Yan touched his face, it felt okay and couldn't figure out anything.
...... Sorrowful and white-headed all night?
He quickly opened the drawer, reached out the mirror and took a picture.
The hair is still black.
But the hair is messy, the eyes are swollen, and the face looks very dirty, and there are the words squeezed by the pillow towel. In addition to these, the face is very ugly, yellow and dark.
After throwing the mirror back in the drawer, he took another wet paper towel and wiped it casually.
"Are your throats better?" Zhao Ke opened a lunch box on his desk.
Jiang Yan cleared his throat and tried to say "ah" without a sound. He shook his head, sat at the table, took the spoon from Zhao Ke, and lowered his head and began to drink porridge.
"Do you still want to vomit?" Zhao Ke sat beside and asked.
Jiang Yan shook his head.
"That's okay," Zhao Ke said, "you vomited so scary yesterday, Lu Shi and Qi Qi went to buy a bunch of medicine at night, what kind of antiemetic enteritis."
Jiang Yan turned his head and smiled at him.
"You're laughing like this now," Zhao Ke sighed, "I'll take a picture of you and send it out to make sure that you won't have your name on the wall."
Jiang Yan lowered his head to the lunch box and enjoyed it.
Silent.
"Ask yourself for a while," Zhao Ke said, "get another morning off."
Jiang Yan shook his head.
"Don't ask for leave?" Zhao Ke looked at him.
Jiang Yan shook his head.
"... Not bad for a long time, right?" Zhao Ke said.
Jiang Yan touched the phone and pressed it to him.
-I can't stop
"... Just whatever you want," Zhao Ke glanced at him, and stood up. "Then eat quickly. There are many people in class today. After a while, I will be late and have to sit back."
Probably because he didn't sleep well, when Jiang Yan went to wash, he felt the hair under his feet and the soles of his shoes were softer than ever before.
When washing his face, he felt awake a lot, but straightened up, and after the coldness on his face disappeared, he returned to chaos.
As Zhao Ke walked behind the classroom, he felt like he was walking through the fog.
Can't see clearly, can't hear clearly, step on the truth, as if after a hangover.
"Do you want me to hold you?" Zhao Ke asked back.
roll. Jiang Yan smiled back.
"Although I don't care about other people's affairs," Zhao Ke slowed down and walked side by side with him. "But if you really want to talk to someone, I can still listen."
Jiang Yan pointed his throat.
"After speaking," Zhao Ke said.
Jiang Yan nodded.
Prefer not to say.
Don't want to say anything.
Jiang Yan doesn't want to talk to anyone about it now.
He couldn't think at all, he didn't want to think.
Why is Gu Fei doing this.
Gu Fei's mood when he said such words.
why.
why?
The person who said I was your back, suddenly said something like this.
Calm and indifferent, there wasn't even room for him to maneuver.
why?
I have no home, Gu Fei.
But you can do it, you are family.
This feeling of losing everything and having no real feeling, Jiang Yan can't bear now.
There were already a lot of people in the classroom. Lu Shi beckoned at them, and they squeezed in and sat down.
"Jiang Ye, are you okay?" Zhang Qiqi sat in the front row and looked back at him. "You look bad."
Jiang Yan shook his head, took out the book, opened it in front of him, and started reading.
Introduction to economic law, apart from these five words, Jiang Yan never understood the sixth word.
He closed his eyes.
He didn't open his eyes again until the teacher began to lecture, forcing himself to focus on the teacher.
No matter what he usually does, he can do it.
But today, I failed a little. He listened to the teacher's voice for at most one minute, and he started to hesitate.
He had to close his eyes again, adjust his breathing, and then open again.
This state did not last long, and he began to feel exhausted, the exhaustion that seemed like the body could sink all the way through the chair, across the floor, and sink to the deepest.
He wanted to finish this lesson, and if he couldn't, he would just go back to the dormitory and sleep for a while.
But the stomach started to hurt again.
Why is it so delicate, he pressed his stomach with his hand.
Jiang Yan's players are very fragile now, and they can't bear any blows. In this state, I think if it can't be adjusted in a short time, it will be very troublesome.
Jiang Yan failed to survive the end of the class, and he strongly wanted to feel vomiting again. Now he has something to vomit in his stomach.
He stood up, covering his stomach, and couldn't wait for the next Zhao Ke to give him a place. He lifted his leg and crossed it, but as soon as his feet fell on the aisle, his stomach twitched him a little.
"To vomit?" Zhao Ke helped him, and whispered.
Without being able to respond, Jiang Yan bent over and trot toward the classroom door.
After two steps, I found myself almost finished.
The feeling of fatigue that almost vomited yesterday suddenly appeared, and he suddenly became difficult to walk.
I fuck.
When his left foot was tripped forward by his right foot, he felt that his life was wonderful.
Take a look, everyone! Such a scene is very rare! In the classroom full of students, Jiang Yan contestant spun a beautiful spin twist!
"Don't you have an old phone?" Mom flipped in the drawer of the living room. "Where are you going? Take it out first and use it?"
"No," Gu Fei said.
"Then what do you use now?" Mom looked at him.
"I don't need a cell phone," Gu Fei said.
"You ..." Mom looked at what he wanted to say, but after a long time she said nothing.
There is a class today. Gu Fei looked at the clock on the wall. He would be late if he didn't go out.
Then be late.
Or absenteeism.
He didn't move on the sofa and looked at Gu Miao who was lying on the coffee table.
Gu Miao is very quiet these days and doesn't have much contact with people, either in limbs or eyes.
Skateboarding hasn't been much fun, I've been painting, green rabbits, rows and rows, and the paper is full of thick paper.
He got up and went back to his house.
There was a lens on the table. Ding Zhuxin bought it better than his original one.
However, he did not throw the old lens with broken lenses. Although he didn't know what he could do, he didn't know what he could do, but he still kept it.
For example, the cabinet in the closet is colored fluorescent tiles.
He closed the doors and windows and closed the curtains. After the light in the room went dark, he opened the door of the closet against the wall, took the chair and sat in front of it, and lit a cigarette.
Looking at the large wardrobe of neatly packed clothes in this grid of empty clothes.
After smoking three cigarettes, the room was knocked by Gu Miao.
Gu Fei stood up, closed the door, opened the curtains, and opened the window. When the north wind swept in, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
Gu Miao stood outside the door, holding a piece of paper in his hand. After he opened the door, Gu Miao handed him the paper.
He took it and took a look. It was a green rabbit that Gu Miao just finished painting.
"It looks so good," Gu Fei said.
Gu Miao turned and went back to the coffee table to lie down and continue painting.
"I'll go out," Gu Fei folded the picture, put it on the pillow, and picked up the camera on the table. "If I don't come back at noon, you go to the restaurant for dinner."
Gu Miao did not respond, drawing intently.
Gu Fei glanced at her, opened the door and went out.
Snowing.
It ’s quite big, and it looks like the time is not short, but he has n’t noticed. No wonder Gu Miao did n’t go out to play skateboarding.
He pulled the scarf, buttoned the down jacket's hat, and shook his hand slightly as he pulled the zipper.
"Buy two, couple, what's wrong?" Jiang Yan said beside him.
After hesitating for a few seconds, Gu Fei turned back to the house, found another down jacket to change this, and then went out again.
I did n’t drive a bike, I did n’t drive a motorcycle, and I did n’t drive a small hoe, so I walked along the road with my camera bag.
This place has not changed for decades, and the streets have not widened.
Every inch, every step, every eye, there are countless traces.
People coming and going, leaving traces.
And those traces you can remember are often only one person.
He stood at a corner and looked at your back.
He stood at a window and tightened his slingshot at you.
...
Gu Fei sucked his nose, pulled the scarf a slit, and the cold wind poured into his body along the neck of his chin, he accelerated his pace.
No one hurdles in winter.
Standing on the edge of the roof, there is a thick accumulation under the feet, and the ears are screaming north wind.
When I raised my eyes and looked forward, everything was covered by Shirayuki.
Gu Fei raised his camera and looked at this suddenly strange world from the viewfinder.
The author has something to say: 继续 Continue tomorrow.
The escaping author left only an afterimage.