Chapter 33: The ghost of memory (below)

As if the ice in the extreme cold cracked, and the broken mood spread, Leo's scarlet lips shuddered. He had been hiding for too long and was overwhelmed. The secret in the dark was like a mountain. He didn't want to crush him and destroy him all the time. Maybe he can try to let go of his guarded guard against someone and say it openly, or maybe that person is Li Biqing in front of him-his boy, someone he totally trusts.
He took a step forward, grabbed the boy's head, and stuck it between his chest and abdomen-that part, if it was a beast, should be the most vulnerable and most guarded key, but now it has been completely open for him.
Leo finally said with great difficulty: "No, that's my fault. Bi Qing, I'm not as good as you describe, far from ... I betrayed my belief and committed an unforgivable sin, although No one knows, but I know that I can deceive everyone, but I cannot deceive myself ... "
"Sin? No, Rio, I don't believe you, you're not like that!"
"I don't know what kind of person I am! Punish and eradicate evil? Yes, that is my profession and my belief. I always believe that if there are fewer bad people in this world, there will be more good people. I did not expect that one day, what I did would be included in the ranks of bad guys ... "
"Rio!" Li Biqing hugged the federal agent who started choking with some flustering. He never saw him dysfunctional to the point where he almost cried. Even when the illness hit, he still adhered to the last line of defense of dignity. "Well, let's not talk about this, can we change the subject?"
"No, I know I can't escape it forever. Someday, I will speak out, to someone, or to God." Detective black hair flashed a decisive water light, "You believe that there is a resurrection in this world A ghost? Someone is dead, but years later, she stands in front of you again, with the same face, the same voice, and even the same name. "
Li Biqing shook her head: "I don't believe in nothingness. I only believe what I see with my own eyes."
"But I saw it. She was in front of me, wearing a white dress, long curly hair like seaweed, and those light blue eyes, all of which matched, but she died long ago! Five years ago It was a gun fired by myself! Blood stained her skirt, and her arm stretched towards me before she died, opening her mouth as if she was shouting the last 'help' ... "
"You're saying 'she' ... that little girl? Bellaire's five-year-old daughter, Debbie?"
"That's the name! Debi, I will never forget this name!" Leo's eyes narrowed, as if throwing the focal length into another unknown space, where all the painful memories are stored, "Five years ago, I hunted down The serial killer caught her and held her as a hostage in front of me. I knew that in that case it was not possible to shoot, that was not in line with the rules, but ... he was a cruel pervert! A wicked devil! If you let He held her and fled, he would □ her, torture her, chop her body into small boxes and send it to the police. He did n’t care if she was five or fifty! So I fired and hit With less than half the rate ... she kept crying and struggling in front of his chest, the bullet penetrated her carotid artery, crushed my chance luck severely! At that moment, I was like crazy, I took everything in the magazine The bullets shot into the body of the fugitive ... "
"That's not your fault! Leo!" Li Biqing clenched Leo's hands on his face tightly. "That was just an accident. In that case you can only shoot, otherwise for her, It will be even more miserable. "
The black-haired detective shook his head in pain: "No, the source of the problem is not here. What happened next is the worst! Do you know what I did? I erased the fingerprint on my gun and shoved it into the hands of the fugitive , And then forged the entire scene, making everything look like he took my gun and killed her, and then I was shot dead. When I arranged all this I was calm like a demon! I know the police will believe me, and the forensic doctor will not Check carefully, because I am a law enforcer, preconceived ideas will make them stand on my side. Until now, when I think of myself then, I will tremble with anger and fear-"
As if he couldn't bear the weight of guilt, his body slipped weakly down the bed, burying his face in the boy's leg, and his voice was vague like a slang in a nightmare: "I don't even know why to do it ... In order to escape legal sanctions and moral condemnation? I do not want to destroy my future for an unintentional mistake. I believe that my life value is far from being reflected, so I desperately tried to eradicate evil and uphold justice ... The bright skin of the law enforcer is inside, but inside is the soul of a rotten criminal! Even if I can deceive the whole world, I can't lie to the ghost of unjust death, so she appears in my dream every night, every night, Repeating that terrible moment over and over again, then accusing and accusing me of my crimes with cold blue eyes— "The agent finally said nothing, and gave out a long, sorrowful whimper.
Li Biqing leaned down and hugged him, using the maximum strength he could, cheek pressed against his head, chestnut hair and black hair blended into one, like two necked swans. He knew that at this time, all the words of comfort seemed overshadowed, and only by direct and direct physical contact could the other person feel the need and retention. His hand stroked the agent's wide back vigorously, and again and again, until the other person gradually calmed his emotions, and whispered in his ear: "Rio, I can see your soul, it is beautiful, very nice……"
The federal agent clutched his waist tightly, his muscles seemed to clump together, "... Is this another sympathetic comfort?" He spit words hard in his arms.
"No, you don't need any sympathy, Leo, you are stronger and better than anyone." The boy held his head and rested his chin on the messy black hair. "You made the right choice If the person being held captive was me at that time, I would rather be sent to heaven by one shot than to experience extreme pain, and fall into pieces to pieces with a cruel hatred of a perverted bone! As for the later things, then It is instinct, Leo. All animals instinctively seek to avoid harm and let the situation develop towards the best possible situation, even human beings are no exception. From a rational point of view, since things have happened, even if you send yourself to the trial stand Nothing helps, but it is a huge waste. Think about it, Leo, in the next five years, how many murderers have you arrested and how many lives have you saved? If you surrendered, was fired, After the prison, then all the people you rescued in these years will die! "Li Biqing's tone was clear and calm, with the finality of a final hammer, knocked Leo's weakness: he could not tolerate the death of the innocent ,consistent To always be the case.
"I'll be more helpful to others than staying in jail-do you think so?" Leo raised his face and looked at him like never before.
"No doubt." The boy held his back and looked straight into his eyes sincerely. "People need you, Leo, many people, including the poor mother today, and her five-year-old daughter. They You need to catch the real killer and rest the ghost wandering on the bottom of the lake. "
"I will catch him," said the black agent firmly.
"I will help you." Li Biqing said, "As for Debi, don't think about it that much, it's just a coincidence. If you can't face her now, I can come alone. Although she is still young, maybe she can Ask her for clues about the killer. "
Leo was silent for a moment, and seemed determined with great courage: "No, I can face her. I must face her."
Li Biqing seemed to be really relieved and smiled: "So, go together tomorrow, no matter what happens, I will be by your side."
Leo stood up slowly, feeling the warmth of his cold fingertips, making him reluctant to move his hand away from the Chinese-born boy. "Tonight-can you sleep by my side?" He asked slyly, and at the same time found that there was no ambiguity or embarrassment in his tone, as if one wolf begged the other for warmth at night.
"OK." Li Biqing answered naturally.
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