Translator:
Irene_
Editor:
Perriemix, Chrissy
When I woke up, I found my limbs restrained by the black figures.
They carried me up the mountain.
I could feel four objects on my body, of which two were pierced through my underarms and two through my inner thighs.
It didn’t hurt, but I wasn’t able to move—it was exactly as I was before I recovered.
I looked behind and noted that Xiaoai was in a similar situation. The objects on our bodies were actually steel wires.
Voices traveled from not far away.
It sounded somewhat familiar.
As we got closer to the peak, the conversation became clearer.
Why are you still forcing it even after thousands of years?
Be good and return. We’ll do you a favor by not burying you deep underground.
You’re asking me to be good? Do you think I’m afraid of you? Aren’t you worried that I’ll release the bomb?
Sacrificing thousands of people to capture you or letting you run free to destroy the world… do we really have a choice?
Great. Those people might not catch your interest, but I have two important ones here.
That was when they brought me out.
Gou Dan? Why are you here?
Pu Lao called out.
You’re awake? You’re fine?
Dongfang asked.
Not far away, a huge black figure opened its mouth.
I have two hostages and a bomb. I’ll release it tomorrow if you turn around and leave now. I won’t track you down and you shan’t poke your noses into my affairs again. Isn’t that a good exchange?
They then carried Xiaoai in and placed her beside me.
Daughter!
Bai Ze shouted agitatedly.
Oh? It’s good that I’ve yet to touch this girl. She’s your daughter, eh? I need you to stay and do something for me. I’ll leave your daughter aside for a bit.
1 person, 1 bomb. Are you willing to retreat?
Chaos urged.
You wish. We know your fear,
Gong Fu challenged.
The thing I fear will never appear again. I don’t want to touch you because it’s a lose-lose situation and I have a bigger affair to handle,
he justified.
I noticed some injuries on the nine sons. They must’ve already had a round of battle. I wasn’t sure of the situation, but it was a fact that Xiaoai and I had become hostages.
It looks like you’re going to need more time to decide. I gave you 24 hours, but there’s less than an hour left. Now, I’ll only give you a minute. I shall start on this one over here and launch the bomb,
Chaos said, pointing at me.
59,
he started counting.
58.
57.
…
The figures around me joined in the countdown.
There were too many of them.
I wondered if those beneath the mountain could hear us.
Two black figures stood up and placed their hands above my neck.
This bag… I don’t want it anymore.
Tao Tie quaked within the bag before ripping it apart.
With a game controller in one of his hands, he smashed the ground with the other.
Following the rupture of the bag, many things scattered all over.
There were treasures and also rubbish.
Things kept crashing onto the ground as Tao Tie handed his controller to Bai Ze.
Hold this for me.
He then flew toward me at lightning speed.
Before the black figures could react, Tao Tie pulled me back to their side and flung me toward Bai Ze in exchange for his controller.
My daughter,
Bai Ze yelled at him anxiously.
Chi Wen quickly drilled his way to Xiaoai’s side.
Bai Ze opened his bag with one hand and removed the steel wires with the other. He then urgently applied medication on my wounds.
I’ll get you cured soon,
he reassured me.
Pu Lao dashed upward, followed by Bi Xi.
The other brothers shot up successively, but an entire mountain of black figures quickly made chase.
The countdown stopped and a big war broke out.
Having rescued Xiaoai, Chi Wen dropped her off with Bai Ze before joining the battle.
Are you okay?
Bai Ze asked, to which I responded faintly,
I’m alright.
After removing the last wire and applying medication, he told me,
I’ll cure her in the medicinal box. Do me a favor, hold this box and run as far as you can.
Can they beat Chaos?
I asked.
Bai Ze pulled Xiaoai up, opened the box, and guided her in.
If they can, will you take me inside to hide as well?
I tried again, only for him to leave without answering.
With no choice left, I reached for the box but was immediately faced with a crowd of incoming black figures.
Behind them was the battle scene between Chaos and the nine brothers, and before me were piles of mini Chaos.
I opened my hand to summon the blood trident.
I launched incessant attacks.
It was difficult to move even a step forward since the figures showed no mercy in their advances.
They seemed to be mindless as the only thing they did was blindly close in on me.
I felt like the mower in Dynasty Warriors, infinitely cutting grass without catching a break.
Just then, a figure jumped from behind, startling me.
It was Dongfang, and the black figures started pouncing on her.
I dashed over to block off some of them and saw Dongfang covering her left arm as blood flowed out continuously.
Dongfang was down. Eight left to battle.
I wonder if we can we still beat Chaos…
Before I could come to a conclusion, Tao Tie flew out as well.
Seven left…
I grabbed Dongfang before flying up to catch Tao Tie.
Are we going to lose?
I asked.
Coughing out blood, Tao Tie replied,
Can Mario skip levels?
Mario? What Mario?
I asked, confused.
Super Mario, that game you found.
I smiled bitterly.
You’re thinking of games right now?
Tell me now or there might not be time anymore,
he said, coughing out another pool of blood.
Yeah. There are two places to do so, 1-4 and 4-2. I can teach you,
I answered, remembering how he played games in the black pouch.
We landed on the ground and I pushed the medicine box to Tao Tie. The black figures threw themselves to me once more.
I reached my left hand out and the same trident reappeared.
With two tridents in my hands, I met the black figures head-on.
Over at Chaos’ side, three sons had been flung away forcefully.
It seemed too late for me to save any of them, but I flew straight for the nearest one nevertheless.
It was Gong Fu, whose two-meter height made it exhausting for me to get a good grip of his body.
Another blow from Chaos threw the last four brothers off.
We still have a chance,
Gong Fu breathed out.
A chance? All of you are down,
I informed.
You’re here, aren’t you?
So?
I asked, puzzled.
Chaos approached us with a peal of malicious laughter.
Chance? I can’t believe that you guys are actually weakening with time. To think that I was afraid that I would get injured. Pfft, Real Dragon? He’s probably dead or he would’ve shown up by now.
Real Dragon might be gone, but it’s not too late to create a god. It’s our original plan to do so anyway,
Gong Fu stated.
God?
Chaos questioned.
God?
I asked, at a loss.
God,
Dongfang said.
God,
Tao Tie added.
God,
Pu Lao and Jiao Tu joined in as well.
…
A light flashed upon the nine sons’ bodies.
The light converged before flying toward me, along with the persistent figures.
I jumped into the air to allow the light to enter my body.
The light, a mixture of rainbow colors, condensed within my body to form a splendid golden hue.
My blood tridents had turned into a golden color as well.
I no longer felt weightless—I’ve become sturdy.
I felt one with the environment around me.
I could also feel Chaos’ aura, but it had become pitifully insignificant.
This is the God you’re talking about? Let’s see what he can do,
Chaos challenged, extending his hand out to press a remote.
I figured that it was the button to activate the nuclear bomb. Was Beijing the target? I did have a powerful ability to sense it, but Beijing was too far away for that.
I could only feel the presence of the whole Tai Mountain.
Sensing the figures approaching the nine sons, I stomped my foot on the ground, instantly producing a mud wall that rose up to cover the mountain.
The golden light around my body started to disperse and envelope the mud wrap.
Chaos’ expression changed.
I could also sense that the priests were still dancing around the stove and the military teams were still discussing new strategies.
The helicopters had landed as well. I clasped my hands together to combine my tridents into one before throwing it at Chaos.
Chaos, notably bigger than I was, threw a punch over while I launched the trident toward his arm.
It was a successful hit; his missing arm took away a lot of bulk from his body.
He looked at me, astonished.
Impossible. They’re not that strong. There must be something else inside, there must be!
I had no idea what he was talking about, so I attacked once more.
He was like tofu at this point, completely unable to retaliate.
When he was reduced to my size, he vanished into a puff of black mist, rendering my subsequent attacks futile.
The mist morphed into a black spike that plunged from behind.
I stomped the ground forcefully, causing it to shatter and form a protective dust cover.
Its collision with the black spike gave me time to react. I quickly threw the trident toward the spike.
Upon the second collision, Chaos transformed into a cloud of mist again.
He can’t die. We have to bottle him up,
Jiao Tu said.
Bottle him up?
Something flashed across my mind. It was deja vu.
9,000 years ago, Chaos had transformed into a black mist.
Pi’s body had been invaded and his spirit entered Xiu’s body.
Ten sons became nine, and they were lying on the ground, weakened and exhausted.
The spot I was standing on was the Real Dragon’s spot.
He was dressed in a Daoist robe, holding a jade bottle with Chaos trapped within.
It was 80% similar to what I was experiencing at that time.
The only difference was that I had no bottle.
It also occurred to me that I was Real Dragon.
Just one of the 81 residual souls.
I observed my surrounding. The mud-wall surrounded some of Tao Tie’s trash as well.
I waved to summon an electric cooker.
It shouldn’t be difficult to find a plastic bottle from the bag, I thought. Unable to catch sight of any, I figured that the bottles, being light, would’ve been flung far away. Bottles found nearby would naturally be heavier.
I glanced down at the electric cooker once more, guessing that it was probably one of Tao Tie’s treasures.
The entirety of Tai Mountain was filled with all sorts of random items at this point.
I opened the lid and realized that it was still new.
Its cable was broken, however. Judging from the tear, something, likely a pet cat or dog, must have bitten the end off. The family must’ve found it pointless to fix and hence had thrown it away.
I placed the cooker on the ground before clearing my throat.
Surprised by my act, Chaos morphed back into a human form.
What a joke. Are you trying to imitate Real Dragon? With this ridiculous cooker? How’s that possible? You really think a stupid cooker can take me down?
I am the Real Dragon and you will do as I say,
I shouted.
Chaos immediately turned around in an attempt to flee.
In!
I yelled.
No, I’m not going in!
Chaos screamed, covering his eyes.
A few minutes passed without anything happening.
Chaos shook his head as I foolishly stood at the same spot.
I drew in a deep breath as he proposed,
What rubbish. It looks like your skill is limited. How about you let me go and we’ll split this territory 50-50?
Pretty good at finding the back door, aren’t you?
I laughed, squatting down to retrieve the inner pot of the rice cooker.
Magic Seal!
I shouted after getting up.
Chaos turned and twisted as the cooker started sucking him in like a black hole.
Upon trapping Chaos within, the cooker continued sucking in the mud wall that I built as well as the mountain full of black figures.
Nooooooooooo,
Chaos screamed as he attempted to escape.
When all had been sucked into the cooker, I shut the lid and summoned a seal that was already in an aged condition.
I licked it a little to stick it on the cooker.
The nine sons, who all sustained injuries, got up slowly.
I handed the cooker to Jiao Tu before running over to the medicine box to call for Bai Ze.
He came out without Xiaoai and was at a loss.
After a short pause, he started treating everyone’s injuries. I could sense the military soldiers heading up to the mountain top.
We need to go, everyone,
I hurried.
Seeing his treasure scattered all about, Tao Tie cried out,
My treasures!
We can come back for them later,
I reassured him before picking Dongfang and Bai Ze up into the air.
The remaining ones supported one another and made their way out before the teams arrived.
Wait, the bomb,
Jiao Tu reminded.
I shuddered. We were in trouble.
Epilogue.
The next day, rumors spread that the black figures were virtual images created by hackers.
The atomic bomb, being too close to the city, couldn’t be blocked by the anti-nuclear weapons in time.
Beijing citizens had long since been evacuated, but the bomb crashed without exploding.
After some experiments run by the experts, it was found that the bomb was a dud.
Some of them even speculated that the dud was one of the three atomic bombs that landed in Japan.
Thanks to Tao Tie, Tai Mountain attracted several treasure seekers. Tao Tie was extremely upset initially but eventually got addicted to online games and was able to let his treasures go. He made another bag from a remnant cloth and stored his game controllers and cartridges inside.
Three days later, in a luxury auction hall.
13,000,000.
13,500,000.
I quickly raised my hand.
30,000,000!
My emphatic voice left everyone present stunned.
Embarrassed, I covered my mouth and repeated in a milder tone,
30,000,000. Start the countdown, quick.
We did it. We recovered the temple and Senior Chen became the head.
Because of my 30,000,000 debt, I had to stay by Dongfang’s side to clear it.
Dongfang was slowly recovering her memory. She set aside a piece of the land near the temple and opened another safe manufacturing factory. I held two positions, the assistant temple head, and assistant factory director.
Jiao Tu’s treasury no longer had an atomic bomb; its spot was taken by the sealed rice cooker.
Malong had managed to get Gong Fu’s inn on TV, which convinced Gong Fu to keep Malong as the second boss. Business only got better from then on.
This is just the beginning for me, though. I now have a new mission.
I have to find the remaining black figures and the remaining 80 souls since I’m merely 1 of the 81 pieces.
However, I have no time.
At this very moment, with Xiaoai grabbing my left hand, Dongfang holding my right, and Tao Tie constantly bugging me about Super Mario, I’m really too busy to think about anything else.
