Chapter 911:

Kayla said musingly: "Jason, you are a stranger. In the world, what kind of person are you?"
I laughed, but there was no joy in it. Suddenly I had to tell her the whole truth:
"Kayla, you don't know me, this person does not exist. I was created for this specific task. Once completed, so will I."
She started, eyes wide open. "I've heard stories about the human race and its science. They have turned people into unreal people, metal people, not bones and physical people."
Before the dawn of innocence and terror, I quickly stretched out my bandaged hand, put her fingers into my hand, and then swept them across. "Is it this metal? No, no, Kayla. But the person you know Jason-I won't be him, I will be a different person." When I don't understand, how can I Explain to Kayla that an accessory character is me?
She gently placed her finger in her finger and said, "I saw someone looking at me from your eyes once. A ghost."
I shook my head savagely. "To people, I am a ghost!"
"Poor ghost," she whispered.
She is a pity. I do not want
"I won't regret things I don't remember. Maybe I don't even remember you." But I lied. I know that even though I have forgotten everything else, because I don't remember, I don't want to lose this girl. If I forget her, my ghost will never walk. I crossed my legs in the dim light, looking at the fire in Kayla, there were only a few coals in the brazier. She took off her genderless coat and put on some tight-fitting clothes, which were as simple as a child's blouse, and very attractive. In the posterior horn of my brain, there are still visible bandage ridges and random memories, not my memory. This is because my posterior horn indicates that if the incision is improperly stitched, obvious scars will appear. Visible to whom?
She stretched out an attractive hand. "Jason! Jason-?"
My self-possession makes me deserted. I seem to be standing in an empty echo room, and Xiao, standing in Jay Allison's mind, the roof is about to fall on me. The image flickered indistinctly, first infinitely soft and attractive, and then-as seen on the wrong end of the telescope-cut away and sharply, as distant and annoying as any bug under the lens.
Her hand pressed against my shoulder. I stretched out a hand and pushed her away.
"Jason," she pleaded, "don't leave me like 130! Talk to me, tell me!"
But her words are empty. ...I know that important things may hang up at tomorrow's meeting, and only Jason can attend that meeting, where the human race made him through this for some reason, cursed and tortured... oh yes Yes... the trailer man has a fever.
Jay Allison pushed away the girl's hand, frowned angrily, tried to collect his thoughts, and concentrated on what he had to say and do to convince the entourage to take responsibility for the rest of the earth. It's as if they don't even have a sense of responsibility!
With a surge of unaccustomed emotions, he wants to be with others. Kendricks, now. Jay knew exactly why Foss sent a reliable spaceman. That handsome, arrogant Dakovan-where is he? Jay looked at the girl in confusion. He didn't want to reveal that he was not sure what he was saying or doing, or that he had little memory of what Jason did.
He began to ask: "Where have the Hastur children gone?" Before an idle logical thought told him, such an important guest should have lived with an old friend. Then a burst of despair struck. Jay realized that he hadn't even spoken the language of the trailer because it was entirely his idea.
She felt a little flustered. He left her again.
"You-" He fished desperately. 131 takes the girl's name, "Kayla. You don't speak the language of the trailing person, do you?"
"A few words. No more. Why?" She had withdrawn to a corner of the small room-not far from him-and he was out of reach of what his heterosexuality was doing. To Jason, nothing was said. Jay Chou smiled sadly.
"Sit down, child. You don't have to be afraid."
"I-I'm trying to understand-" The girl touched him again, obviously trying to conquer her fear. "It's not easy, when you become another person in my eyes," Jay shivered when she saw her.
He said wearily: "I won't-become a bat and fly away. I'm just a poor devil, and he is in an evil chaos." He was thinking, there is no reason to pass to this poor The child yelled and got rid of his pain and despair. God knows everything she has experienced for her irresponsible other selves. Foss admits that the "Jason" character is a mixture of all the bad characteristics he has struggled to kill his life. Through the effort of will, he prevented himself from leaving the hand on her shoulder.
"Jason, don't-slip away like that! Think about it! Try to keep yourself!"
Jay put his head in his hands, trying to figure this out. Of course, in the dim light, she could not be too aware of the subtle changes in her expression. She obviously thought she was talking to Jason. She doesn't seem to be smart.
"Think about tomorrow, Jason. What are you going to say to him? Think about your parents-"
Jay Allison wanted to know what they would think when they found a stranger here. He felt like a stranger. However, he will definitely come to this house tonight and speak-he desperately rummaged through his mind, looking for fragments of clue language. He talked about it when he was a kid. He must remember talking to the woman who was once the good mother of her foreign son. The word shape he tried to make his lips unfamiliar...
Jay covered his face with his hands again. Jason is the part he remembers his followers. That's what he must remember-Jensen is not a hostile stranger, not an alien intruder inside him. Jason was a lost part of him, now a necessary part. If there is only some way to restore Jason’s memory and skills without losing himself... He said to the girl: "Let me think about it. To my surprise, his voice suddenly changed to Unfamiliar tongue, "Leave me alone, okay?
Jay thought, maybe I can keep myself if I can remember the rest. Dr. Foss said: Jason 132 will remember the follower who is kind but not disgusting.
Jay searched his memory, only to find familiar frustration. In addition to human heritage, the years spent in foreign countries have been stranded and abandoned. My father left me. He crashed the plane and I will never see him again, I hate him for leaving me...
But his father did not abandon him. He crashed the plane, trying to save them both. Yes,
Except for my father's. Trying to fly over Hayles into a country where no one belongs...
He does not belong. However, he believes that this tow man who is better than roaming beasts has brought this alien child to their city, their home, and their hearts. They once loved him. With him...
"And I love them." I found myself saying aloud, then realized that Kayla grabbed my arm and looked up at my face reluctantly. I shook my head unhappy. "what happened?"
"You scared me," she said in a small trembling voice, and I suddenly knew what had happened. I'm crazy about Jay Allison. He couldn't even give me the fragments of the life I should have won for myself, but had to slip out of my mind, how he must hate me! I hate him half, it! Among other things, he scared Kayla to death!
She knelt very close to me, and I realized there was a way to fight Jay Allison's cold and harsh fish, and then make him scream into again. He is a person who hates everything, except for the cold world, he has lived his own life. Kayla's face lifted, soft, attentive and pleading, and suddenly I reached out and pulled her to my side and kissed her hard.
"Can a ghost do it?" I asked "Or this?"
She whispered, "No, oh, no," she raised her arm to lock my neck. When I pulled her down from the fragrant moss on the room, I felt the dark ghost of my other self sparse, disappeared and disappeared.
Regis was right. This is the only way...
The old one is not old at all. The title is purely ceremonial. This man is very young-not older than me-but he has composure and dignity, and the strange, indefinable qualities that I recognize in Regis Hastur. I think this is something that the human empire has lost in interstellar communication. The feeling of knowing one's position requires no dignity, because it never lacks it.
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