Chapter 963:

My current situation is that all voluntary thoughts are swallowed and lost. I was driven away by anger. Revenge itself gives me strength and composure. It shapes my feelings and keeps me calm and calm during periods of delusion or death.
One of my resolutions is to withdraw from Geneva forever. When I am happy and loved, my homeland is precious to me, and now, in my adversity, it becomes hateful. I provided myself with a sum of money and some jewelry that belonged to my mother and left.
Now my wandering has begun, and it stops with life. I have traveled to most parts of the earth and endured all the hardships that travellers in deserts and savage countries would not encounter. I hardly know my life; many times, I stretch my limbs on the sand on all sides, praying for death. But revenge keeps me alive. I dare not die, there is no opponent.
When I left Geneva, one of my jobs was to obtain clues to track the footsteps of my ferocious enemies. But my plan was not resolved. I wandered around the town for many hours, not sure where I should go. When night fell, I found myself at the entrance of the cemetery, and William, Elizabeth and my father were sleeping. I entered the tombstone and walked to the tombstone. Except for the leaves being gently stirred by the wind, everything was silent. The night is almost dark, and the scene is already very solemn, even affecting an uninterested observer. The soul of the dead seems to be wandering around, and cast a shadow on the mourner's head, but this shadow is invisible.
At first, the deep sadness caused by this scene was quickly replaced by anger and despair. They are dead, I live. Their murderer is still alive, and to destroy him, I must get rid of a tired life. I knelt on the grass, kissed the earth, and trembling lips exclaimed: "I knelt on the sacred earth, hovering in the shadow beside me, swearing that I feel deep and eternal sadness. Night, and what you are. The presiding soul chases after you the demon that caused this pain until he or I perish in a fatal conflict. For this, I will save my life. To perform this dear revenge, I will see the sun again, Step on the green grass, or the grass will disappear forever. I call on you, the souls of the dead, and you, wandering revenge ministers, to help and guide my work. Let the cursed and hellish monsters suffer deeply; Let him feel the despair that is bothering me now."
I started my trial with dignity and awe, which almost convinced me that the shadow of the murdered friends heard and recognized my dedication, but my conclusion filled me with anger, and anger made me feel bad. Talking endlessly.
In the silence of the night, I was answered by a loud and ferocious laugh. It fell long and heavy on my ears. The mountains echoed it again, and I felt as if the whole was full of ridicule and laughter. Of course, at that moment, I should have been attracted by fanaticism and destroyed my miserable life, but my oath was heard and I was kept for revenge. When an obvious and abominable voice seemed to be close to my ear, he said to me in an audible whisper: "I'm very satisfied, poor fellow! You are determined to live, and I am very satisfied."
I rushed to where the sound originated, but the devil made me unable to grasp it. Suddenly, the wide disk of the moon rose, gleaming on his terrifying and distorted shape, and he fled at a speed faster than mortals.
I chased him. This has been my task for many months. Guided by a small clue, I followed the twists and turns of the Rhone, but to no avail. The blue Mediterranean Sea appeared. By chance, I saw this demon enter in the night and hide himself in the ship bound for the Black Sea. I passed by in the same boat, but he escaped and I don't know how to go.
In the wildness of Tatari and Russia, although he still avoided me, I have been following him. Sometimes the farmers are frightened by this terrible illusion, and I know his way. Sometimes he himself worried that if I lost all his traces, I would die in despair, leaving some traces to guide me. Snow fell on my head, and I saw his huge footprints on the white plain. As you enter life once, who is new and painful unknown, how can you understand how I feel and what I still feel? Cold, deprivation and fatigue are the least pains I am destined to endure; I am cursed by the devil, carrying my eternal hell. However, I still follow a good spirit and direct my steps. When I complained the most, suddenly I seemed unable to overcome it. Sometimes, when nature overcomes hunger and sinks in exhaustion, it prepares a meal for me in the desert, which restores me and encourages me. The fare is indeed very crude. For example, the farmers in the country have eaten, but I would not doubt that it was determined by the spirit of my rescue. Usually, when everything is dry, the sky is covered with dark clouds. I was thirsty and dry. A thin dark cloud covered the sky, sprinkled a few drops of water that resurrected me, and then disappeared.
To the best of my ability, I followed the river. But demons usually avoid these because the country's population is mainly collected here. In other places, humans are rarely seen, and I usually live on wild animals that cross my path. I had money and gained friendship from the villagers through distribution. Or I brought some food that I killed and spent only a small part of it, and I always dedicated it to those who provided me with fire and cooking utensils.
In this way, my life is indeed full of hatred for me, and only when I sleep can I taste happiness. Oh blessed sleep! Usually, at the most painful time, I indulge in rest, my dreams even make me intoxicated. The spirit that guards me provides happiness for these moments, even hours of happiness, and I can retain my strength to go on pilgrimage. Having lost this opportunity to breathe, I should have sunk in hardship. During the day, I was attracted and inspired by the hope of the night, because in my sleep I saw my friends, my wife and my beloved country. I saw my father’s benevolent face again, heard the silver tone of my Elizabeth’s voice, and saw Kleval enjoying health and youth. Usually, in the hard parade, I convince myself that I have been dreaming until night falls, and then I should enjoy reality in the arms of my dearest friend. What painful likes do I have for them! When they sometimes even haunt my waking hours, how can I stick to their dear form and convince myself that they are still alive! At such a moment, the revenge burning in my body died in my heart, and I embarked on the path of eliminating the devil. It is more a task from heaven, it is the mechanical impulse of certain forces in my subconscious, rather than to my soul. Desire eagerly.
I don't know whose feelings he is after. Sometimes, indeed, he left marks on the bark, or left marks on the stone, these marks led me and aroused my anger. "My reign is not over yet" in one of these inscriptions. The words are clear and easy to understand. "You are alive, and my power is complete. Follow me; I look north for eternal ice, where you will feel cold and frost I’m indifferent to the pain of my life. If you follow me less rigidly, you will find a dead rabbit near this place. Eating is full of energy and refreshing. Come on, my enemy; we have not lived for ourselves. And struggle, but before that period comes, you have to endure many hard and painful times."
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