Chapter 14: Seven-year itch is a bit sweet 7

His mother returned to France when Miyazaki first called her mother.
This Chinese-French mixed woman couldn't stand her husband, and even her son did not want it.
Miyazaki must be excellent from childhood to most.
Not ordinary excellence, but shocking excellence beyond age.
He always takes the first place in the exam. All his father's requirements can be fulfilled until he finally surpasses his father and replaces him.
Extreme self-discipline makes his life like a pool of standing water.
The only accident was He Ling.
He intruded inexplicably, like a golden knife, tearing open his life and bringing infinite light.
Miyazaki has never seen such a dazzling person, and has never seen such a free person.
They are the opposite, like light and dark, black and white.
Miyazaki likes him, likes everything about him.
Because of these, he longed for but could not have.
When He Ling confessed to him.
For the first time in her life, Miyazaki experienced the emotion of joy.
After marriage, Miyazaki seemed to dream every day.
Waking up in the morning, He Ling will kiss him.
Before going out, He Ling would kiss him.
When he ate at noon, He Ling would also come to eat with him.
Even when working in the afternoon, He Ling would leave early to accompany him.
He never thought that someone could live like He Ling, do whatever he wanted, do whatever he wanted, and take it for granted.
He Ling's love, like the hot sun, wrapped the palace cymbals, bringing him a temperature beyond imagination.
Miyazaki was used to being alone, and there was a lot of discomfort after being cold together.
He is not used to talking during meals, but will try to talk to He Ling, but unfortunately he can only talk about boring work.
He is not used to making love in front of people, but he will still be in the car. When the driver can't see it, Ren Heling kisses.
He was not used to bathing with people, but after He Ling insisted twice, Gong Yan found someone to change a large square bathtub, and the two would not crowd.
Gong Yan also didn't like He Ling making trouble in the office, but after He Ling made two troubles, he replaced the single bed in the lounge with a double bed.
Sometimes Gong Yan feels that He Ling is wayward.
But soon he couldn't help smiling--
He yearns for his waywardness, and if he can, he hopes that He Ling can do as he wants.
But he didn't expect that He Ling's freewheeling will stop wanting him.
Miyazaki didn't know what happened, and didn't know why this was the case.
They have been together for seven years, never quarreled, never been awkward, and never separated.
Miyazaki got used to it.
Used to kissing in the morning, used to kissing before going out, used to see him at noon and afternoon.
All of a sudden, it was gone.
I don't know which day, He Ling changed.
Miyazaki sensitively noticed He Ling's alienation, felt his observation, and felt his scrutiny.
The palace is like a thorny back, and the nerves are tight.
He hasn't been like this for a long time. Since meeting He Ling and marrying him, Miyazaki has not felt this way for a long time.
As if someone was staring at him, watching him, remotely controlling him.
Gong Yan hated this feeling, he wanted to talk to He Ling.
He went home early, waiting at home, forcing himself to do nothing, just waiting for He Ling to return.
It's a pity that time has passed, and He Ling is getting home late.
How to do
Great fear n lived in the heart of Miyazaki, dragging him into the dark abyss.
Until that day, he saw He Ling with a young boy.
At this moment, Miyazaki understood.
He Ling hasn't changed, he's still like that, he's still like that-
I don't love him as much as I want, and I fall in love with others.
He Ling told him when divorced ...
Miyazaki was not surprised, he knew that this would happen.
He Ling dragged on for so long before speaking, it is already very reluctant.
Miyazaki didn't want to force him.
He was originally a person and there was no need to be a burden on him.
Gong Yan left, walked in the snow and ice, and walked in the memories of seven years.
then……
He broke down.
He couldn't walk and couldn't move his legs.
The picture of the two men walking hand in hand in the memories became the last straw that crushed him.
why
why
Why exactly
If you can't end with one, why promise the next life.
Thaksin thought it was true, but he said that change will change.
Miyazaki felt the icy coldness, and he seemed to be back on that snowy night, watching his mother leave, but he could only call his mother helplessly.
At that time Miyazaki understood that it wasn't his compulsion that couldn't come.
It's no use calling her and calling her again.
He is already an adult, he is not a child of that time, and he will no longer beg helplessly for warmth that is not his own.
but……
Not reconciled.
Even knowing that it will be useless, even knowing that it will bump your nose and face, and even knowing that you will lose your final dignity ...
When Gong Yan saw He Ling, he still broke the yoke of his heart and asked him: "... why don't you want me?"