Chapter 141: Chapter 141

"Our routine is to invite you to chat with yourself ten years later." The host smiled and calmed some young teenagers in the camera: "Relax and talk about anything."
Fifteen-year-old Huo Jian didn't expect to play a small composition on the spot. With both hands holding the chair, he adjusted his posture and couldn't help laughing.
"Me ten years later, hello."
"You are twenty-six years old at this time."
Huo Jian, twenty-three years old, sat silently and did not want to be too embarrassed to face the boy at the moment.
"Twenty-six years old...should be still in the golden age of idols, not until the end."
"Now I am still waiting for the result, and I don't know if I can join A."
The teenager doesn't know his future, he speaks lightly and has the best effort.
"If I enter, I hope that ten years later, the A will shine like a real crown and never fade."
Huo Jian gripped the armrest and took a deep breath in search of more air.
"I also hope that the six of us will always have a good relationship. When we watch this video ten years later, we will laugh and drink together."
There are still two years.
But in 2019, will Koike come back.
If he really hid, where would he hide?
Huo Jian has never given up those lucky illusions.
But he also knew in his heart that if these unrealistic ideas were told to others, they would only stabb them again.
"Although he has not been in contact with the sixth person, he must be very good."
The host's meeting laughter came from outside the painting.
"Chi Ji said the same thing just now."
He said that Mei Shengyao is a very good and very good kid, and will definitely have a good time in the crown.
"Hahaha, can this be revealed?" The teenager squinted and smiled, "I knew Koike liked us."
"Apart from the expectations of the combination, do you have any thoughts about yourself."
"How to say, I hope I can maintain the habit of reading and studying in ten years, and don't become a boring adult."
Huo Jian looked at the computer screen, and the cold in his eyes slowly melted unconsciously.
"If you are in trouble in the future, what do you want to say to him?"
The teenager was a little surprised by this question, and Yang borrowed a pen for notes.
"Eight Winds Don't Move"
Profit.
Two blue blood endorsements, two red blood endorsements, countless first-tier and second-tier brands and fanatical invitations from Fashion Weekly, as well as the sentiment throughout Asia.
decline.
Cardiac neurosis, post-traumatic stress disorder syndrome, anxiety, depression, fatigue, sleepiness.
destroy.
His attribution, his only sustenance, has been turned into powder under four signatures.
reputation.
The youngest winner of the OSC Crown Award, the leader of the Asian top-notch team, and the winner of more than 20 domestic and foreign awards.
"Leaving bad reputation, calling ridicule."
The teenager looked directly at his eyes like a white wolf with ambition.
"Four shuns and four reversals, the eight winds stay still."
"Huo Jian, don't forget your heart."
The young man suddenly looked up, and all his murderous intentions spread out.
Just like the lone wolf suddenly heard the call of a long time ago, bloodiness was activated again.
He cannot admit defeat, he cannot be trapped here.
There are still many things not done-
For Chi Ji, for the crown, for himself, he must go out.
Pei Ru also noticed that he wanted to stand up, only to put his arms flank sideways for him to hold at any time, watching the young man slowly stand up.
"teacher."
The youth finally said, "Where is the study?"
"Rehabilitation training plan is ready." Pei Ru also escorted him out, thinking without thinking: "Go downstairs to eat first, and others will talk later."
This is their first dialogue since February to early autumn.
When Huo Jian stepped into the restaurant, all the servants felt surprised and contrary.
They are about to treat this person as a fixed decoration at home.
He would move.
Pei Ruye turned his head slightly, and someone immediately brought the warm and nutritious meal, and also set the knife and fork intimately.
Huo Jie nodded his thanks and silently began to chew every food and fruit again.
He seems to be back to the year he just entered SPF.
Be mindless and self-disciplined.
Everything is for the ultimate goal.
Get the crown and kill Han Qu at the same time.
He doesn't care what FALSE depends on in the future, whether he can get the crown or not.
This year has reached the end of 2017, and the 18-year crown is likely to fall in other countries.
But by 2019, everything must come to an end.
Huo Jian usually eats too little, and now the esophagus becomes difficult when swallowing hard objects.
The state of stress for months has reduced his control of the body to the lowest point.
He had to take a bite or two before stopping, and then prolong the time for chewing and swallowing.
Pei Ru also looked at him for dinner while holding his face. It took a long time to say: "Don't rush to eat all, the amount of food can be increased slowly."
Huo Jian swallowed a piece of chicken breast mechanically, thinking for a while, "How many months is it now?"
"September." The man hid his emotions and his voice remained calm: "September 17."
Huo Jian nodded, cut all chicken into small pieces, and continued: "How long do I have to train?"
"It will be around May at the earliest."
It's easy to abuse your body, but it's difficult to recover.
He looked up for a while.
When the body recovers in May, it is necessary to write songs, release albums, go publicity, and cook more things.
He thought about it for a while, and let the chess pieces like chicken cubes be listed in front of the plate.
Pei Ru didn't urge it, and he signaled to the kitchen to prepare some other soup porridge to keep the stomach, ready to use afterwards.
"Actually, you can stop going back as an artist."
You are quite different from when you were fifteen. The capital in your hands, the shares in the SPF and Yehuo have enough say.
This occupation has caused you too much pain, you did not have to choose when you were young, but now at least you have the right to avoid it.
Not to mention...and I am still there.
"If only killing Han Qu," Huo Jian slowly said: "I don't need any help."
But murderous.
Bai Jinhong's stabbing knife can never be better than chopping and crushing all one's expectations and love.
He was so clear because Chi Ji died like this, and he is now deeply stuck in such mud.
Huo Jian has never been a man of nowhere.
After Dr. Wu and Dr. Zhai took over the care of Chi Ji, he had already learned everything about psychological problems.
Ji Ji suffers from PTSD and depression.
Then died of pathogenesis and severe stimulation.
Hand cigarettes and alcohol to patients with larynx cancer, feed deadly water to allergy sufferers, and give the most severe blow to the depressed.
Depression is manifested in the decline of personal mobility, which is more of ‘a sense of worthlessness’, ‘guilt’ and ‘decline of function’ than ‘melancholy’ and sorrow.
Gender humiliation is only an opportunity to aggravate his symptoms. PTSD will increase his extreme tendency under stress and his resistance to others for help.
However, it is very likely that Han Qu finally delivered some documents to Chi Ji, which made Ji Ji think that he was the burden that dragged down everyone in the crown, and finally jumped.
Murderous.
Huo Jian ate up all the chicken and chickpeas, letting his stomach and stomach tumbling uncomfortably, squeezing his lips with a paper towel and sitting on the opposite side of Pei Ruye.
He is now a lone wolf with blood on his heart.
"Han Qu let Ji Ji face anything, I have to let him repay twice."
Public opinion, momentum, morality, self-esteem, life.
All.
He asked Han Qu to repay everything with blood.
It is one thing to compete against Asan Ventures, and it is another to destroy the entire FALSE and Han's entertainment industry chain.
If you want to guide public opinion, you must stand back to the highest place.
The higher the popularity, the more flashes, the worse Han Han will die.
He wants to recall all his fame and spotlight.
Even standing taller than before.
Before drawing up the plan, Huo Jian found that he was shaking when he held the pen.
It is a neural reaction after a long-term eating disorder.
He looked at the messy handwriting for a while and looked at Pei Ruye again.
The man didn't have time to put away his expression before he was frowning and gazing at Huo Jian's profile, his eyes full of concern and distress.
Huo Jian froze for a few seconds, and suddenly remembered that he and Pei Ru had a past.
Gentle and gentle, deep understanding.
But the crush and obsession in the past few years have been frozen in the depths of Huo Jian's heart.
As if it never existed.
He felt a little embarrassed in the atmosphere, and he couldn't mention the previous vows at this moment. His eyes fell back to the table and he asked again.
"teacher."
"I'm here."
"Will you lie to me?"
"will not."
They looked at each other, and suddenly there was a strange silence.
"Koike...he really left?"
Pei Ru also sighed slightly, knowing that Huo Jian would not give himself any warm eyes.
He originally wanted to find a chance to say a happy birthday to his little white wolf.
But think carefully, the word happy, maybe you shouldn't say it.
"I didn't have time to get to the scene."
"At that time, only Qi and Su Dong were in the hospital."
Pei Ru did not know.
In fact, only three people knew a secret that was completely hidden.
In the second office, Su Rong, who witnessed the fall, chased the ambulance into the hospital, Qi Ding, and his wife, Dr. Wu, who was in charge of emergency treatment in the ambulance.
Qi Ding has repeatedly confirmed the hospital's confidentiality treaty and related monitoring, and still has concerns.
He was initially completely blindfolded, and after calling Jiang Shu, he realized that things were completely different from his expectations.
But the company has gone out of the ghost, and the hospital itself will not be in full control.
The inner ghost is close enough to pass the deadly message to Ji Ji.
Chi Ji is still unsure, and if the news is exposed more, the situation may really enter an irreversible step.
If Jiang Shu Pei Ruye is told, they will probably tell Huo Jian.
Huo Jian will tell the other four children to ignore it for the time being, they will certainly ask to visit and confirm the true situation.
The child was too clever to believe in any appeasement in a state of pain and never rested without seeing it.
The reason why Jiang Shu and Qi Ding both agreed to let Pei Ru also take Huo Jian back to the United States to rest is to completely get rid of the surveillance of Han Qu and create more illusions.
It's easy to kill a Han Qu, and it's too hard to destroy the whole Han.
Even the Pei family and the Long family will help. One main capital falls in the United States, and the other focuses on the real estate industry rather than financial ventures. It takes time to fully function.
This secret should never be known to anyone until the dust settles.
Qi Ding must unite Su Rong, not only to deceive the entire company, but more importantly to deceive Han Qu, as well as use this opportunity to wipe out all the inner ghost eyeliners.
Temporary fame and fortune are secondary.
The SPF that is eroded by the benefit requires a major cleaning.
Wash thoroughly and cleanly.
Time is changing.
-2-
Rehabilitation training is not smooth.
Normal eating and running is nothing, although dancing or something has not been practiced for a long time, but you can gradually enter the state after a few hours.
The difficulty is the consequences of PTSD and a series of problems.
Huo Jian will have nightmares frequently, and the conditions of palpitations and angina are very frequent.
In the past, Chi Ji had a similar situation, but it was more resistant to seeing outsiders, unwilling to go out, and sleeping too long.
At that time, Mei Shengyao always squeezed the quilt over to accompany him, and slowly coaxed with the warm voice, exactly the same way he was coaxed by Chi Ji when he was a child.
Since the beginning of last year, Jiang Shu has been continuously reducing the work of the Crown and using adequate rest to cooperate with doctors' treatment.
If it wasn’t the last time to leap forward, maybe Ji Ji would not suffer much from depression.
But the feeling of falling from a height is too painful.
Now Huo Jian has lost all his work, and he has someone to take care of his assets.
His reason can control him to train on time and eat quantitatively, but his emotions do not allow him to fall asleep.
After finally being able to open the stream, the psychologist has visited many times.
Under normal circumstances, patients with major trauma will resist the presence of other listeners.
When Pei Ruye also sent Huo Jian to the meeting room for the first time, he only had time to leave for three minutes.
Before waiting for how long he sat in the office next door, the doctor hurriedly came over and asked Pei Ru to come and accompany the treatment.
"Your friend is very insecure."
"Although he did not make a request, but you just walked away, his pain reappeared. According to my observation, it is very similar to the situation when he did not speak."
Pei Ru also took a deep breath and walked back quickly.
He has become the last link between Blade and the world.
Parents, friends, occupations, identities, everything that proves the significance of Huo Jian is falling apart.
He suffered no less than Chi Ji from the beginning.
When the door opened again, Huo Jian was already holding a pillow and sore that his face was sweating and his face was white. When he was embraced by Pei Ruye, he almost instinctively hid in and breathed violently, as if he had just been rescued from drowning. come out.
While the reassuring aroma of the ocean rushed into the lungs, the pain was quietly driven away and dissipated, gradually disappearing to disappear like a low tide.
Huo Jian himself realized how evil this matter was, and when he emerged from the man's arms, he looked blank and inexplicably glanced from his nose to the nose.
Pei Ru also couldn't laugh or cry: "Doing the right thing, the doctor is still waiting."
The female doctor turned a blind eye: "Please choose a posture that will make you feel comfortable, regardless of my opinion."
Huo Jian licked his chapped lips, trying to explain something about this seemingly embarrassing escape.
Pei Ru also received a glass of mint water for him, and still kept his hands touching his shoulders when he got up.
"Drink slowly. Don't worry."
Huo Jian began to heal himself slowly.
One of the more popular methods for treating PTSD abroad is DBT therapy.
Commitment to obligations, establishing connections, reducing trauma experience, multiple exposure and desensitization...
In an instant, from early autumn to early spring.
The winter in Los Angeles is warm, and people everywhere in thin jeans and open trench coats are everywhere.
In the spring again, the flowers bloom early.
The servants deliberately made the home bright and light, rolled up all the curtains, and the green flowers were beautiful.
Huo Jian has never touched anything about Shi Guo.
He knew his illness and knew that he shouldn't be stimulated more by it.
February 17 is Chi Ji's death day.
Before ending the treatment, the doctor Wen Sheng encouraged his progress, and said softly: "For many pains and regrets, we don't actually need to resist and avoid."
"Acceptance is a good start."
Huo Jian was still wrapped in a blanket in early spring, and repeated the word again.
"Accept."
"Yes." The doctor leaned over to look at him and said friendly: "Many people want negative things, such as pain, hate, depression, etc. to leave forever, or be completely eliminated."
"But if you accept its objective existence, it will become much better."
Huo Jian stared at her for a long time, suddenly at this moment it seemed to be revealed.
"Accept."
"This is a very reasonable choice."
After the doctor left, he got up and put the blanket down, folded his eyes, glancing at the sparkling sunlight on the blue sea outside the window.
"Teacher, take me to the Red House to see it."
This is the first time he took the initiative to go out.
Pei Ru also drove him to the old place.
MillenniumDanplex, the starting point of the world's top dancers.
The international master choreographer has had a profound cooperation with countless heavenly queens.
It is also an old classroom where Chi Ji and Mei Shengyao have stayed here for several years.
They were visitors, and they circulated around the noisy venues without much sense of integration.
Pei Ruye has concentrated on polishing the leading company of New Media in recent years. He comes here once a year, and only a few old members can recognize him at a glance.
Huo Jian made a round in the place where Ji Ji stopped, and said for a long time: "Tired, let's go."
They sat back in the car again.
"Where else do you want to go?"
Huo Jian thought about it and looked at him sideways: "Teacher, do you have any tattoo shops you know?"
Pei Ru also nodded his head.
The owner of the tattoo shop is a with five big and three thick, sipping a bag of ketchup while slurping and cutting the succulent leaves, seeing the guests are coming and YO made a noise.
Huo Jian sat beside him, like a middle school student who had escaped school.
"I want a tattoo in the palm."
The man almost slipped off half of his head with a flick.
"It hurts a lot, brother, have you considered it?"
"Now tattoos can be washed," he said, exaggerating gestures, and did not agree with this requirement: "But the taste of tattooing, oh my god, you better not."
Huo Jian looked at Pei Ruye sideways, as if asking his opinion.
Pei Ru did not object.
"This is a great way to commemorate." He rolled up his sleeves and showed Huo Jian the Nantian bamboo painted by the abstract lines on his right arm.
"After my mother died, I did not come out for more than a year."
Huo Jian has never seen this tattoo and subconsciously said, "Is it the latest thing?"
He was too nervous to take a look at the hot spring.
The man smiled and shook his head: "No, nineteen."
Huo Jian unconsciously reached out and touched his smooth right arm.
For a moment, he wanted to know all the stories about Pei Ruye.
Nantianzhu is beautiful and warm to the touch, which is inexplicably nostalgic.
"Make a choice and don't regret it."
Pei Ru also rolled his sleeves back without giving him any emotion to judge.
"Accept, miss, inscribe, and seek forgiveness."
"Think about it first, what exactly do you want."
Huo Jianning thought for a while, asked for a pen and paper, and drew a small boat for himself.
A cross stood on the ship, looking peaceful and calm.
He suddenly remembered the grandfather they met in the old forest in the mountains when recording variety shows.
At that time, the six of them were recording the Crown Wanted Order. They fled in embarrassment for several days, and suddenly they strayed into a paradise.
The old gentleman entertained them to drink hot tofu soup and said a lot in his life.
"Everyone lives, it is inevitable to be greedy."
"I want to take everything into my arms, but I won't miss anything."
"...It's sinful."
"I'm greedy sometimes." He fumbled for the palm of his left hand and compared the distance with his right finger.
"Even when Chi Chi was not dead, I never stopped blaming myself."
Huo Jian rarely exposed his inner weakness.
He is more determined and almighty in front of the whole regiment, invincible and decisive.
Even in front of Pei Ruye, it is more about letting up fatigue and indifference, hiding the weak side very deadly.
Therefore, he is always strong, like steel without any gaps.
The black elder brother went to the backstage to find tools, and there were only two of them in the front hall.
Pei Ru also took the pencil in his hand and trimmed the lines more beautifully.
"Always blame yourself?"
"Well," Huo Jian laughed suddenly: "You may not know, I am a bad captain."
A stage was not completed well, and there was a flaw in the overall planning work.
Who has a cold, who has been in a bad mood recently, and who has been attacked by the media too recently.
…I always feel that doing it myself is not good enough.
To work harder and pay more, we must take care of all the details of everyone.
He had no sense of security since he first entered SPF. Later, he led five people forward, and shouldered five responsibilities on his shoulders.
Be cautious and over-incriminate yourself.
This is true every year.
"Many of them think that Koike is stupid."
The young man used his fingertips to draw a cross on the palm of his hand.
"I look smart, and often more stubborn than him."
Pursuit of perfection for everything, can not tolerate a little omission.
To fight for the first, to become the strongest person, you must polish yourself into a perfect and perfect product.
Once Xie Liyun sang the wrong words on the stage, he would repeatedly blame himself, feeling that he had not trained the team members well enough.
However, it seemed unintentional to talk about this matter at the dinner party. No one in the group remembered it, and passed away with a smile and two sentences.
-This is not the responsibility of anyone, including himself.
Huo Jian can become such a person. Standing at this height, he must endure this kind of strong character.
Later, Ji Ji's illness and illness only counted as the last pile of straw.
"Take a small boat."
It's been a year.
He left the crown and had a new residence, still breathing and alive.
By Noah's boat, he survived in the vortex of Vanity Fair.
Then prepare to go back again.
For his best friends, for all the unwillingness to go back again.
"Teacher, Happy New Year."