Chapter 1085 - You F**king Sit Down

Chapter 1085: You Fking Sit Down
Translator: 
CKtalon 
 Editor: 
CKtalon

Ong nodded before the two fell silent. Clearly, they were attuning their minds in preparation.
Xiaoxun shot a glance at Fangzheng, at a loss for words. She also began to prepare herself.
Meanwhile, Salted Fish said to Fangzheng,
Reverend, there’s no need to search any further. I’ve found it.

That fast? Quickly open it up to see if there’s a cake inside!

Salted Fish looked at the cake base board that had been licked cleaner than if it would have been sent for a wash. He said bitterly,
There’s no need to. There’s no cake inside.
He was puzzled. Fangzheng didn’t have X-ray eyes, so how did he know everything that he had done? To think he was using such a method to test him. Seriously… That was too much!


What happened to the cake?
 Fangzheng was taken aback. Could it be that the hijacker was lying? Or could it be that his luggage was not in the same cargo hold as Salted Fish?
Salted Fish felt very uncomfortable as he said in embarrassment,
Reverend, that’s what I would like to confess about. I ate the cake.

Fangzheng instantly turned anxious when he heard that. If he had any hair, all of it would be standing! Fangzheng hurriedly asked,
You ate it?


That’s right. It tasted quite alright. The flavors of the two liquids in the tubes weren’t much. They were bland like water. There were some weird things in it too… It wasn’t easy to digest,
Salted Fish grumbled.
Fangzheng immediately put on an odd expression.
Based on what the hijacker said, the liquid bomb exploded when the two liquids met each other. From the sound of it, Salted Fish had drunk both tubes of liquid. The liquids had apparently not exploded in his body! Could it be that Salted Fish had drunk them in the wrong way? Or could it be that the two liquids didn’t completely liquefy when he ate them? Had the amount of cream in his stomach somehow separated them?
Fangzheng frowned. This made things complicated. Without dissecting Salted Fish, there was no knowing what happened inside his stomach. Worst of all, this darn Salted Fish had apparently eaten the ignition charge! This was truly exasperating. Fangzheng wasn’t sure what would happen if a bomb exploded in his stomach…
Hence, Fangzheng asked Salted Fish,
Salted Fish, what do you think would happen if a bomb were to explode in your stomach?

Salted Fish was puzzled.
What kind of bomb? A nuclear bomb?


Nothing that powerful,
Fangzheng said.


Salted Fish thought nothing of it.
Then I would be fine. Such low-level energies can’t do a thing to me. By the way, Reverend, why are you asking me this?

Fangzheng was instantly relieved when he heard that. He said with a smile,
That’s good. If your belly doesn’t feel good, fart a few times.

When Salted Fish heard that, he felt that something wasn’t right. He kept asking, but Fangzheng began ignoring him.
The pilot asked the hijacker,
I’ve already pulled up the plane. Is that enough?


Higher! Higher!
the hijacker shouted.
The passengers aboard the plane watched this scene nervously. They had a premonition that this would be their last flight ever. Their only hope was for a miracle to happen.
At this point, a loud voice boomed.
What higher? Land!

Everyone immediately felt their hearts palpitate when they heard that. Without even needing to take a look, they knew from the voice that it was the retarded monk!
Everyone looked over and cursed inwardly. God damnit, can’t you fking shut your mouth? Do you find our trip to hell too slow? You’ll destroy the last bit of hope we have at this rate!

Indeed, the moment Fangzheng shouted, the hijacker flared up.
If you continue your crap, I’ll blast you to death!



Just as Fangzheng was about to say something, he heard the people around him yell,
You fking sit down!

Fangzheng’s words were immediately left stuck in his throat. He looked around and realized that the trio who were supposed to be in cahoots with him⁠—Ong, Xiaoxun, and her grandfather⁠—had all moved away. Only the old granny by the side of the window smiled at him.
Master Fangzheng, I trust you. Amitabha⁠.

Fangzheng immediately felt his heart warm up, and he replied with a bow,
Amitabha.

Following that, Fangzheng puffed up his chest and, ignoring the looks of perplexity, anger, horror, and other mixed feelings, he walked down the aisle and faced the hijacker.
At that instant, Fangzheng seemed to return to his childhood days. He saw a familiar figure, one that flashed past his mind.

Master, look at that fish. How stupid! It’s swimming upstream,
the young Fangzheng laughed as he pointed at a fish in the water.
Standing by his side, Zen Master One Finger in his tattered robes stroked Fangzheng’s head and asked,
Do you find it stupid?

Fangzheng nodded.
That’s right. Very stupid.


Heh heh, then let’s watch. Let’s see how stupid it is.
Zen Master One Finger laughed.
Fangzheng was thrilled that Zen Master One Finger was going to watch the fish with him. He immediately clapped in delight.


This was a very tiny stream. The fish wasn’t too big, and he couldn’t name it. He only knew that the fish could only grow to that size. Since monks didn’t kill living organisms, he didn’t catch fish and only watched them by the side of the stream.
The stream was very steep and even for a fish, swimming upstream was extremely difficult. However, the fish persisted relentlessly.
Fangzheng and Zen Master One Finger kept watching it patiently. Finally, after half a day, the fish arrived at a spot that was relatively flat. It found a spot in the underwater plants and hid there.
Fangzheng was puzzled.
It went all this way and took all that effort to find a bunch of plants? Isn’t that way too stupid?

Zen Master One Finger shook his head without a word.
Before long, the fish came out, but it was swimming slower than before.

Master, what’s wrong with it?
Fangzheng seemed to discover something.

It has reached the end of her life.
Zen Master One Finger pressed his palms together and chanted in incantation.
Fangzheng didn’t understand what Zen Master One Finger was getting at, but he joined him in chanting the prayers. However, he didn’t close his eyes and instead kept watching. Indeed, the fish died shortly. Fangzheng felt a tug at his heartstrings as he became upset. He rubbed his nose and said to Zen Master One Finger,
Master, why did it do that? It worked so hard to swim up here and died… That’s far too stupid.

Zen Master One Finger didn’t say a word. Instead, he brought Fangzheng to the underwater plants and gently parted the plants and got Fangzheng to take a look.


Fangzheng looked down and saw many translucent fish eggs. Enlightened, he exclaimed.
It laid eggs!

Zen Master One Finger nodded and said,
The water flow is too fast downstream, and there are all kinds of natural enemies there. The fish mother can’t lay her eggs there. Therefore, she has to swim upstream. Even if everyone exclaims how stupid she is, she still heads for her destination with courage. Finally, she arrived here where there aren’t any natural enemies or turbulent waters. There’s even a natural spawning bed. Fangzheng, it’s not necessarily the case that what everyone believes is always right. Going with the flow just requires you to go downstream, but going upstream requires immense courage and firm will! At the same time, she didn’t need too many reasons. One was enough! Now, do you still think she was stupid?


Uh… Master, I’ve decided I will come here every day!
Fangzheng said with a silly smile as he scratched his head.