Vol 8 Chapter 15: Then go to heaven

As the eldest lady of Ouyang's family, her room should be full of luxurious royal style in Mu Lin's imagination, and there should be luxurious decorations everywhere, but when Mu Lin walked into the room, it was a girlish room. Show the present.
The pink-white bed is leaning against the wall. The bed is filled with all kinds of dolls, and there is a small desk beside the bed. The frame of the desk is also pink, which symbolizes the girl's heart.　　 There is a computer on the desk, and the bookshelf are not some tall masterpieces or the like, but on the contrary are some books such as comics and love novels. On the other side of the room, a quaint piano stands on the other side of the empty space and a large floor is on the ground.
The window stands beside the piano, so that people can look at the scenery outside while playing the piano.
There are several scores on the piano, and the simple style contrasts strongly with the other side.
"My room was designed by myself, so it may be very different from what you imagined." Ouyang Lan hurriedly said seeing Mu Lin looking at her room.
When Ouyang Lan said this, Mu Linbian turned his eyes back. Looked at Ouyang Lan.
Today’s Ouyang Lan is wearing a pink-bottomed white cut-out dress, the skirt is over the knee, and she stands barefoot on the wooden floor. Waist-length black hair is more attractive after repair. The unmodified face and the body that has begun to develop bumps are more attractive.
Looking at Ouyang Lan's dress, Mu Lin couldn't help but look twice. When Ouyang Lan saw Mu Lin staring at her like this, she blushed immediately, and hurriedly said, "I usually wear this way at home, is it really strange?"
Mu Lin noticed his gaffe, shook his hand, and said, "No, no, it looks good, this combination is very suitable for you."
Seeing Mu Lin's words, Ouyang Lan eased up, and then asked Mu Lin to sit on the floor while she sat on the bed.
The two of them were silent for a while, and Ouyang Lan took the lead to break the silence, put away the smile on her face, and said solemnly to Mu Lin, "Brother Mu Lin, since you promised my grandpa to be my teacher, then you I should know what happened to me, right."
Looking at Ouyang Lan's words, Mu Lin nodded.
"If you are me, do you choose to resist this kind of life, end your fault at the age of 20 or live in eternal grief, and face your unforgivable self?" Ouyang Lan said, her voice changed from the liveliness before. The tone, said coldly. "I will choose to live, because in any case only a living life is meaningful. Thinking of blaming your own mother’s death completely on yourself seems so naive, I believe your mother will not treat you before death There was a slight complaint, but because of her death
Your constant self-blaming is exactly what she didn't want to see. "Mu Lin whispered. 　　" Moreover, I think that the result of resisting this sad life is to end my life at the age of 20. This is not an expression of resisting fate. This is just to be stubborn with fate, and this is to fate. Recognition. In this era, how many people do not want to survive, in order to resist the unfair life
She resisted. And your compromising fate is worthy of a rebellious behavior, that is, sorry for the grandfather who wants to protect you, and sorry for yourself. Mu Lin said, his tone getting more and more excited. He didn't want to see Ouyang Lan like this.
Following Mu Lin's words, Ouyang Lan hugged her legs with her hands, leaned her back against the wall, and put her head on her legs without returning to Mu Lin's words. Upon seeing this, Mu Lin knew that Ouyang Lan was touched by what she said, so Mu Lin hurriedly said, "Actually, you don't want to end like this, right? You don't want your grandfather who loves you to watch your departure. I don’t want to watch my school partner lose a friend in the future, right?
. Since the heavens told a 20-year-old lie, let's break this lie and fight against this unfair life. As you just sang, on the other side of sadness, also find the courage to swim back! "　　 In fact, when Mu Lin saw the decoration of Ouyang Lan's room, Mu Lin had already noticed. Ouyang Lan himself is actually divided into two parts. The first part is Ouyang Lan, who is usually exposed and contains a girl's heart. For everything Positive and optimistic, kind and lovely, pleased by family and partners
Huan. This is also the original face of Ouyang Lan. This can be seen from the part of the room full of girly mood. Ouyang Lan also yearns for campus partners, a warm family, and a living future.　　 But the other part of the decoration is the other side of Ouyang Lan. On the other side of the empty space, only a piano stood on the wooden floor. Through this scene, Mulin could see Ouyang Lan playing alone in the moonlight. There is no obsession with life, only hope for death. This is Ouyang Lan
The twisted part after killing his mother. As long as this part of Ouyang Lan can't let go, then Ouyang Lan can't resist the death that will come sooner or later. "I know what you said, and I also know that everyone is reluctant to bear me, and I don't want to leave everyone to end my life like this. But I will never forget the look in my mother's eyes when she passed away. She looked at me with full of eyes Fear and regret. It was I who killed my mother. I can never forgive myself. When I knew that if I didn’t open up my body, I would die at the age of 20. Apart from the fear that first appeared in my heart, It’s a long relief. Perhaps this is the ultimate destination for me with a soft and cold body." Ouyang Lan said hoarsely.
Containing my own inner struggle, it also showed my own consciousness.
"Can you never forgive yourself?" Mu Lin asked.
"I can't forgive, I can't forgive myself for hurting my mother" Ouyang Lan said, shaking her head.
"So what if your mother forgive you?" Mu Lin asked again.
"Mother... forgive... me?" Ouyang Lan shook her head again with a glimmer of expectation on her face. "Impossible. I will never forget the look in my mother's eyes when she died. It is impossible for her to forgive me."
"On the contrary, I think your mother's fear and regret when she died are regrets for her inability to protect you and fear for your inability to grow up properly." Mu Lin continued, "I believe she has always loved you. ."
"Love me... my mother is gone, I won't believe what you say, unless I can hear her in person, but this is no longer possible." Ouyang Lan dropped her head again. Seeing that there was a glimmer of hope renewed in Ouyang Lan’s eyes, she smiled and said to Ouyang Lan, "Then go to heaven and ask your mother personally. I believe she will give you the courage to resist your fate.". ...