Chapter 203: Is it love or guilt

London, England.
The smog is like sweeping across the city, and it is uncomfortable to suppress.
Selina sat at the window, looking a little tired.
She has been in a wheelchair for five years. In five years, the wheelchair seems to be one with her.
When it's late at night, she always asks herself, is it worth it?
However, no one knows whether it is worth it or not.
She looked back at the closed door and looked at the garden below the castle. She slowly stood up, just like a normal person, and walked forward two steps.
There was a bitter look on her face. When would she choose to end this day, she would not deceive herself or others.
In fact, she did block a shot for Leng Xiyao five years ago, but that shot was nothing to her.
It's just that she was unlucky and injured the sciatic nerve. As a result, she couldn't walk for more than half a year. At the beginning, it was useless to go for rehabilitation.
Later, she no longer wanted to appear in the eyes of everyone.
Although she sits in a wheelchair every day, she also knows that she can let Zeng Hanyu stay by her side because of guilt.
Sometimes, she hated this guilt, but sometimes, she was very grateful that if it were not for guilt, he might not be willing to stay by his side and take care of her so tenderly.
The rescue of Leng Xiyao at the beginning was entirely out of sincerity, but when she woke up, she didn't know why everything turned out to be like this, moving in this direction.
Almost everyone thought that she used her legs in exchange for Zeng Hanyu to stay with her.
She used to be so proud, but now, when others say this, she has no right to refute, because she is such a woman.
In fact, she stood up three years ago.
After not going to the hospital for rehabilitation, Zeng Hanyu thought he had completely given up.
However, he didn't know that whenever she was late at night, she would always practice walking alone in the room and keep rehabilitating.
When she could really walk on her own, she felt happy and guilty emotions spread in her heart at the same time.
I am happy because she can finally stand by his side, and guilty because she made a decision that she couldn't believe she. She pretended to be disabled and pretended to be Selina with disabled legs.
You need him to hold you when you go to bed and get out of bed.
She did not dare to tell him that her legs could walk on the ground a long time ago, and she did not dare to tell him, would he still take care of himself like that and stay by his side?
No matter what the answers others gave her, but in her heart, he would never leave it for himself.
After all, at the beginning, the reason he took care of her to stay for himself was because she saved Leng Xiyao. Perhaps, in his heart, saving Leng Xiyao by himself was to make him owe him a kindness.
However, no matter what you say or think, everything has developed like this in the past five years.
She still remembered that when she couldn't stand up, the tears in her mother Merissan's eyes were like blue water, overflowing her eyes. She never wanted to make her sad, but in this matter, she was deeply I hurt my mother deeply.
In her mother's heart, the most important thing is her. However, she failed to protect herself and not talk about it, but also abused herself for the sake of love.
As early as a year after her legs could walk, her mother discovered the abnormality.
However, at first, she just slapped sideways, until later, she completely confessed to herself and asked herself why she did this.
For that reason, she was really ashamed and difficult to speak, but, knowing her son Mo Ruomu, she almost saw her mind at a glance.
Selina still remembers what her mother said.
She said, my child, Mommy is the last thing you want to eat in my life. This is the suffering of love. However, when you met Zeng Hanyu, when you first saw him, I knew that I was It can't be stopped, but I told you a long time ago that he is not suitable for you, and you are still completely fallen. Now, you pretend to be disabled for him. Have you thought about how he would think of you after he knew it? Mommy, for your own good, if you can, you should tell him the truth sooner!
She was shocked when she heard what Mommy said, but on the next day, she couldn't make up her mind.
Yes, she couldn't bear to let Zeng Hanyu leave her side, she was so hopeless.
Mother said she had lost herself for love.
She did not speak.
She remembered that London that day was also such a gloomy smog day, and her mother left.
She said that she would tell her when she figured it out.
My mother went to travel around the world, so she continued to live with Zeng Hanyu in this castle for two years.
In the past two years, every time Zeng Hanyu had something to go out, she took it here alone, just like those concubines waiting for the emperor in the ancient Chinese palace.
She hated such a self, but in the end she still compromised with such a self.
Because she knew that Zeng Hanyu would only leave decisively when she said something.
She knows him too much, and sometimes she feels that she knows him better than him.
Hearing a slight noise downstairs, Selina turned quickly and sat in the wheelchair.
She knew that he was back.
In the past five years, she was more sensitive to his footsteps than any other sound.
She was sitting quietly in a wheelchair, looking at the garden downstairs, the expression on her face was as indifferent as ever.
However, only she knew it, and in her heart, she was not calm at all.
When she heard it, he was standing at the door, but today he seemed a little different. He stood at the door for a long time and never walked in.
She was like a fool, sitting in a wheelchair, not even daring to look back.
In fact, countless times, she wanted to turn her head and greet him kindly, so naturally, hey, Yu, you are back!
However, she can't do it anymore, because she has lost her pride and she is no longer the Selina she was five years ago.
Since that shot, Zeng Hanyu's attitude towards himself has changed drastically, especially after he can't walk, he is like guarding a glass doll, carefully holding her in his hand.
At the door, Zeng Hanyu quietly looked at the woman sitting on the wheel, a touch of distress flashed in his eyes.
Over the past five years, he has taken care of her everywhere, and whenever she needs to hold her to do some basic things, his heart is very sad.
If it were not to save An An, Selina would not be like this, and if An An was not his fiancee, she would not be what she is now.
In fact, sometimes, in the dead of night, he asked himself countless times, if he had asked Gu Yi'an to save Selina, would it not hurt the sciatic nerve? She is still the same, hot, free, arrogant and unruly Selina.
He felt that he was very selfish, what is the difference between her now and a bird with a broken wing.
It turned out that she, a capable eagle, can fly freely in the sky, all of which is caused by him, and her love for him made her the way she is now.
Five years ago, he knew who the person he loved was, but if he killed her like this, what right did he have to say that he loved her?
Zeng Hanyu watched her quietly at the door for a long time.
A lot of changes have taken place in her now. The whole person looks unexpectedly quiet, like an ethereal ghost, without life.
Whenever he sees her like this, his heart is as if there are thousands of ants gnawing.
He had never wanted her to be like this, but she did it by himself.
He suddenly thought of the news he had just heard.
Grandpa An woke up, and after returning home, An An met Leng Haojun.
Of course, he also heard that when Grandpa An woke up, Leng Haojun invited an old Chinese doctor who had joined the world to wake him up through acupuncture.
It's just that he already knew these few things.
The news from the country today made him a little bit unable to stay.
In order to save An'an, Leng Haojun was reportedly hit on the head by a stone statue and had been in a coma for several days.
An An alone supported the Peerless Group. Fortunately, the old man woke up and helped her share one or two.
It's just that, one of them is old and one young, they can't hold back some of Laozi's ambitions.
After thinking about it, Zeng Hanyu decided to return to China for a visit.
He will be back today just to tell Selina about this.
However, seeing her sitting there silently, he suddenly couldn't open his mouth.
However, leaving without saying goodbye, he will never do it.
In fact, before returning, he had done countless ideological work for himself.
He told himself that this time, it was only because of An An's accident that he returned to China to help her. He didn't have any selfishness in it. If he told Selina, she would understand him.
However, when he walked behind her step by step, he couldn't say a word.
After a while, he heard her cold voice sound.
"Why don't you talk when you come?"
She said these words with her back to herself, and he could only see her profile, still indifferent.
His words stuck in his throat for a long time, but he said something.
"I will come back to see you, and hold you downstairs for dinner!"
"Oh!" Selina replied and stopped talking.
Zeng Hanyu didn't want to make her unhappy before she ate.
Since she was injured, her appetite has been greatly reduced, and now she can only see the pointed chin from her round oval face.
He once thought that she didn't want to eat because of her body and moodiness, and she even had anorexia.
Because several doctors told him that Selina did not want to eat, not because of physical function, but in a bad mood.
He also thought of countless ways to make her happy, but he seemed to use the wrong way every time.
After they went downstairs, the servant brought up the food.
Zeng Hanyu kept serving Selina with vegetables to let her eat more.
"You have to eat well, or it will be bad for your health. You hold it up now, it looks like a leaf, do you know?"
Maybe he was too exaggerated, Selina smiled rare.
"Really? Then I will try to eat more..."