Chapter 40: Conversation and reflection

"Squeak!" Grisha gently opened the door, followed by Eren with a probe and a worried Mikasa, "You are awake, Gawain. It looks like you are recovering well," Grisha told me Nodded, "Want to eat something?" "Gawain, drink water." Mikasa handed me the water glass in her hand, "Thank you." I took the water glass and drank the water in it, and returned it to me. Mikasa turned her head to Grisha, "Of course, I'm almost starving to death."...A few minutes later, the four of us were sitting at the table and eating lunch. Three of them had a lot of questions to ask me, but considered They kept silent about my injury, and the atmosphere at the table was very dull.
After the meal, Eren was forced by Grisha to return to the room to take a nap, and Mikasa was also coaxed back to bed by me, Grisha stayed on the grounds of checking my wound recovery. Grisha and I sat at the table facing each other for a long time before Grisha hesitated and said, "Gawain, I want to ask, what do you do with Skog? After all, he..." "Feed the wolf. "I said blankly, "Huh?" Grisha was startled and muttered to himself, "Just... have you fed the wolf?" "Anyone should pay for what they have done," I said. "What he did to my family... His fate is the price." I stood up and glanced at Grisha sluggishly, "If there is nothing else, I will go back to the room." Grisha did not answer, Ren Leave by me. I walked between the two rooms, hesitated, knocked on Mikasa's door, "Who?" Mikasa's voice came from the room, "It's me, can I come in?" I replied, and the room was silent. After a while, Mikasa opened the door and plunged into my arms.
"Gawain, you lied to me." Mikasa said in a crying voice, "Woo~, you said you are going to do things." "I am really going to do things." I rubbed her head and comforted." It's just that something minor happened later." Mikasa didn't buy into my explanation. She raised her fist and punched me a few times, "A lie! How can I do something like this." "Okay." "I held her head with one hand, and squeezed her face with the other. "It's all over, am I back intact?" Mikasa snorted, grabbed my hand and pulled me into the room. Close the door, "Gavin stay with me, don't leave." Mikasa said seriously, "Okay, stay with you." I rubbed her head again, "Hurry up and go to sleep, I'll sit in that chair. , Not going anywhere.
Mikasa was soon coaxed into sleep by me, while I sat in a chair and thought about the way forward.
I have been evading before, and I have always waited for things to happen before responding, instead of taking the initiative to kill the danger in the bud. This approach... The death of Hank and Yando is the consequence. "What am I avoiding?" I looked at my hands and muttered to myself, am I afraid of another Hamu incident? Is it fear of death? Recalling what I did after crossing, I unconsciously clenched my fists, and after joining Mikasa's family, what did I do? He did not inquire about the news of his good brother Xu Jingkun, did not rely on the advantages of the traverser to arrange and discover the truth in advance, and was immersed in the short and fragile peace all day long, just wanting to indulge in this way. When did I become so cowardly? I closed my eyes and said in a low voice, "It can't go on like this. I must take the initiative. At least, I want to protect Mikasa."...