Chapter 29:

There was heavy fog outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, and no trace of sky could be seen; the living room was quiet, only white porridge rumbling on the stovetop.
Xu Qin leaned against the open flow table, lowered his head, and a tear fell down silently, just like her, quiet and silent.
Time passed by one minute and one second, she didn't speak.
The surging white porridge soup lightly lifted the lid again, telling her that it was time. She was motionless, like a statue of clay.
Silence is like a century.
The porridge soup lifted the lid again and again, suddenly overflowing and dripping on the stove.
Song Yan finally stepped forward and shut off the natural gas.
The boiling porridge soup went silent for a while, the rice grains rolled in the rice soup a few times, and it quickly subsided.
Shi Yan's mist tainted Song Yan's eyes.
He said nothing, turned away, and said nothing farewell.
The moment passing by, Xu Qin's eyes suddenly burst into a wet and fuzzy, his trousers flashed in the sight of the glittering water.
Another tear fell, and she froze in place, her hands clinging to the fluid table, but the people did not move at all. She heard him walk to the porch, change shoes and go out, and closed the door.
Quiet.
The room was so quiet that only her own trembling breathing was left.
The tears couldn't stop anymore, and the beads fell like a big one, she clenched her mouth tightly, without making a sound, only her shoulders were shaking.
She couldn't help herself, she bowed down, almost couldn't straighten her waist, and when the body rose and fell uncontrollably, she suddenly stopped. Hands clenched on the table, restrained.
Finally, stopped.
Xu Qin stood in the same place for a while, calmed down, and then gently lifted his finger to wipe off the wet mist on his eyelashes, stepped forward to the stove, lifted the lid of the soup pot, the steam rose, and the fragrance of rice porridge Pushed face.
She took out the chopsticks and bowl from the cupboard, rinsed it out, filled a bowl of porridge, and stood by the stove, took the spoon and scooped it up, blowing it into her mouth.
One bite after another, a little bit hot, so that her tears fell silently again.
She wiped her cheek with ease and continued to blow and eat porridge.
It's really strange, it's clear that no ingredients are added, no seafood, no vegetables, no sugar and salt, and the poor white rice porridge, how can it be sweet? How come there is a natural and pure sweetness that no other porridge can match?
She sniffed her nose, wiped the tears that were dripping from her face again, finished a bowl, and filled the second bowl.
She stood by the stove and ate a whole pot of porridge by herself.
She scrambled to clean the pot and tableware, and wiped the cooktop clean. Everything returned to its original state, as if nothing had happened.
She has to go to work at noon. This is what the doctor is doing. She is so busy that she has no time to care about her mood. Whether it's good or bad, it doesn't matter. Don't care.
It suits her best.
She packed herself up and went out, but met Meng Yanchen who came to see her downstairs and said to take her to lunch.
Xu Qin said, "I have eaten it already."
She was wearing a mask and couldn't see her expression. Her eyes were as pale as before, but she was a little red, revealing her emotions. Meng Yanchen probably guessed what happened, worried about her driving, and said, "I will take you to the hospital."
Xu Qin did not refuse.
As the car drove up the road, Xu Qin suddenly said: "Actually, you didn't need to send me home yesterday, even if you didn't remind me, I wouldn't dare."
Meng Yanchen drove the car without saying a word.
"What are you afraid of, Meng Yanchen? I thought my wings were hard, would I throw away everything?" Xu Qinwang looked out the window and asked softly, "Do you know how the beast trainer trains the beast?" At a very young age, beat it, shut it down, starve it; pet it, hurt it, feed it. When it grows up, it has strength, but as soon as it sees the whip and the basin, it dares not resist and dare not go to the wild Now. "
Meng Yanchen's throat knot rolled, his face overflowing with a bit of pain. Xu Qin seems to be telling someone else's story.
"You all say that he is not worthy of me, in fact, I am not worthy of him. With him, I feel that he will hurt him anytime, anywhere in the future, because--" Xu Qin said calmly, "I am a despicable People. "
"Like at the beginning, if I did n’t change my surname, I would n’t be your sister, and I could continue to like you. But, that ’s not the Meng family, I would have to lose that family and become helpless. If I like it You, let me lose my father and mother, lose my family's shelter from me, lose the beautiful dinner in the beautiful room, and lose the right to a relaxed life. Brother, it is better not to like you.
Sorry, I want everything. I wanted my parents at that time, I wanted you, and now I want Song Yan, but there are some things that I am destined to get. As for me, I have no courage or courage to face anything but to escape. There is no ability to love, and no qualification to love. I don't deserve any of you to love me. Really. Xu Qin said, "I'm sorry. "
After so many years, she has never expressed the slightest emotion to the original determination, all suppressed in her heart.
More than ten years have passed before this sentence.
Meng Yanchen's heartache was numb, and his eyes were sour that he almost couldn't resist it. He quickly dropped the window and let the cold wind in. He took a deep breath under the biting wind and barely suppressed the turbulent emotions.
Compared to the pain, another faint fear filled my heart. As if he felt something was dead in Xu Qin's body. As if her future would be more silent and quiet than her past, dark and dull.
He wanted to say something to her, but there was no more chance to communicate with each other. The journey to work was short, and I quickly reached the door of the hospital.
When Xu Qin drove the door, Meng Yanchen suddenly proposed: "Go abroad."
Xu Qin stopped.
Meng Yanchen said: "Qin Qin, I'll take you abroad. I won't go back to the imperial city again, okay?"
Xu Qin silent for a moment, as if after careful consideration, he finally shook his head and got out of the car.
Half an hour before work, Xu Qin went to the psychiatric department to find her alumni Dr. Pan Qingqing abroad.
Xu Qin wanted to find some medicine to help her sleep and mood conditioning.
Pan Qingqing refused at first, let her lie down and talk for half an hour. But the alarm clock on the wall walked moment by moment, and half an hour later, Xu Qin said nothing.
No matter how Pan Qingqing enlightened, she was silent like a dumb.
Pan Qingqing was helpless, and finally had to prescribe medicine for her.
Xu Qin collected the medicine and left silently.
...
Zhai Miao was called back by her mother during class and said something was wrong at home.
She drove all the way to the house and hurriedly pushed open the door of Song Yan's room, but found nothing strange. It was nothing more than pulling the thick curtains during the day, and the room was dark. Song Yan covered a coat and lay on the sofa to sleep.
As she pushed open the door, the sunlight tore the darkness, and it just happened to shine on his face. He was awakened by the stimulation, and his face was wrinkled.
Zhai Miao breathed a sigh of relief and walked over: "My mother said let me come--" Suddenly, she smelled a strong alcohol.
Since being a soldier, Song Yan has not been drunk for more than a decade.
This is even more true after being a firefighter, and he will never drink alcohol even when he is on vacation, in case a temporary mission is urgently recalled.
Zhai Miao knew that he was really hurt. She panicked, seeing the empty wine bottle upside down by the sofa and startled: "Have you drunk?"
The light was so uncomfortable for Song Yan that he frowned and turned his face in pain: "Close the door."
Seeing that he was still conscious, Zhai Miao was relieved a little and closed the door in the past.
The night fell into the room again, and the wine smelled pungent.
Then the big man slumped down on the sofa, and Zhai Miao saw it, and felt uncomfortable.
She sat down on the ground and stabbed him cruelly: "How is it? Telling you that she's drinking and talking, don't count, you don't listen, you have to run to find her, now is okay, was she dumped?"
She thought Song Yan would choke and scold her, but he could vent his emotions anyway, but he didn't; he had a hoarse voice and a low voice, saying:
"Well. She didn't choose me."
Zhai Miao's heart was suddenly uncomfortable, and he was about to suffocate. The elder brother of the whole family, the elder brother who admires himself, was as bad as a muddy man, and scolded angrily: "That's her blindness!"
Song Yan didn't speak, but just shook her head.
What I want to say, the person is too tired, covering his eyes with his arm and sleeping.
In the dark, Zhai Miao saw his lips dry, which was caused by excessive dehydration after drinking too much wine.
He was also breathing heavily, and he gasped extremely hard while dreaming about waking up, and he was really drunk.
Zhai Miao felt terribly painful and could n’t help it:
You should be stubborn this time? Brother, let yourself be vented when you feel uncomfortable, okay? You can do anything. But I ’m begging you, you ’re really Do n’t take care of her again, will you? No matter where she is, she ’s never seen someone as strange as her.
Song Yan: "You shut up."
When he said this, his breath was weak, as if the sleeping person was tired of being woken up by others. He frowned tightly and rolled over on the forced sofa. His breathing was low and heavy, as if he continued to sleep.
Zhai Miao did not dare to quarrel him, and stayed with him, thinking that he was really asleep, but he listened to him dryly and said: "She is not such a person."
It was long and silent again.
Zhai Miaojing sat in the dark, not speaking or commenting, waiting for him to continue.
He turned his back to her, breathing deeply and whispering: "She is the most inferior and timid person I have ever seen."
"Obviously want to be crazy, want to be wild, want to be free, do not want to obey and do bad things, but she dare not. Pretend to be very hard and strong, mean to others, practically strong outside and work hard, and fragile in the heart. Her character—" He paused for a while and even laughed, "If you really marry the people in her circle, they will be bullied to death."
He smiled with tears in his eyes: "She will be bullied to death."
With tears in his eyes, Zhai Miao looked up at the sky and gritted his teeth: "Who can blame for the way she chose?"
Song Yan said nothing.
Blame him for not giving her the courage to choose him.
Over the years, he has not regretted every choice he made, but,
If you could kneel down and beg that person ...