: 32-year-old essay - clumsy

Calvin for nearly a month.
I have been thinking about reincarnation in this month, but my mood is wrong. A few days before my birthday, I swear, from today, I must write it out, and I will save the manuscript and make five chapters on my birthday.
Then think, send four chapters.
Three chapters...
Yesterday, I wrote a half chapter, and I thought about it and overthrew it. Today, I thought, I got it, maybe I didn’t have a chapter, but I still wrote it. Fast nine thousand words, I originally wanted to write a little more, but near midnight, the best emotions have been lost, only suitable for recording some things, not suitable for plotting.
What I can tell you is that there are some problems in life, not a big deal, a small bump. In the past month, I was emotionally confused and had two serious arguments with my wife. Although it should be benign at the moment, it affects my codeword. For me, this is really a new reason for breaking, but in fact, anyway, I have nothing to explain, but right.
Marriage with his wife is December 16th of the year, and it is a year and a half now. Our acquaintance is very common and somewhat weird. She ran to my uncle's shop to buy kitchen utensils. The customer and the boss all kinds of bargaining prices, my uncle said that you are still not married, introduce you to an object, give a The phone called me to the store and said that the person had arrived. My time code was dizzy, but the call came over and I had to go politely. I went with my mom. When I met her and her mother, they talked to each other and she said a few words to me. words.
Hey, looks very beautiful, has no expression, is an elite woman, can't make it.
This is probably the first impression, but the face has already met, plus WeChat, out of courtesy, she watched a movie, watched the movie to eat, and later she asked me to eat, after the meal she took the initiative to pay the money, and later Speaking, she thinks the code words are very poor, it should be like this.
She went to work on the TV station, right at the door of my house, and hooked up one after the other. She is very busy, she has to work overtime on the TV station, and she has to work overtime outside the TV station. She said that she really started to make me feel good. I am afraid she has been working overtime. I later learned that she is buying in the best community here. A house, our house is very cheap, when more than 3,000 yuan a flat, she wants to buy a set for her parents, only 20,000 yuan in her pocket, went to the house to sign.
Then there is constant overtime work. In the TV station, she is doing technology, working overtime to do special effects, constantly receiving work outside the TV station, giving people a film, organizing activities, then paying a down payment, and after making the house, I started to make renovations, each It’s incredible that the money was put in and the credit card last month – she actually got it.
I remember that during that time, she went to the civil service exam and called and said, "Go to the party school training today, do you want to come together." I said: "Okay, go and cultivate the exercises." This is the date of the date. .
During that time, I always remembered that when I bought a house at the age of twenty-five, I saved enough of the down payment, and I was tens of thousands of pieces by an uncle. Later, I didn’t pay it back. I paid the policy and the down payment was from 20%. To thirty percent. I coded in the room every day, and I lost my hair after getting up. At that time, I wrote that it was especially difficult. On the one hand, I wanted to write more, and on the other hand, I wanted to have no quality. Cried a few times.
I think I got a treasure.
The original intention of our together - sincerely - I want to help her share these things. Her character is strong, she will not please the leader, and the TV station will work overtime all day. I often go to the food. Since I changed my leadership in the second half of the year, the days are even more sad. One day at noon, I said that there are leaders to inspect. The editor-in-chief of the TV station, Lao Huang, asked the technical department to stay in the office at noon, and the meal would not be allowed. I took it for more than a minute and sent it to the past. A leader who came to see it came out and asked, "Ah, haven't you eaten yet?" Later, I realized that it was the editor-in-chief who had ordered not to go to dinner.
Another night, when the film was changed to work, the director and editor-in-chief kept the change in the technical department. They did this: the director went to eat first, then went to the editor for dinner, and the technicians were not allowed to eat.
It’s amazing that the leaders who have been working overtime have seen the leaders who don’t allow people to eat overtime.
I always wanted her to resign, even if she said that she would raise her, it would be nothing, but she did not want to. After getting married, consider asking for a child, missing a person in the station, let her go to the computer room, it is said that there is radiation, she is finally willing to resign, thank God.
After resigning for less than a month, she went to the library and said that the library was easy.
However, the library is where some of the official ladies are caring for the elderly.
So he became a work technician, went into the library for a month, helped people write two things, got two inexplicable awards, one hangs his own name, a group of old employees who have been in the library for many years, let She made up for a few years of year-end summary, because there is no background, it is always embarrassing.
It’s a strange ecological environment.
There are still many things, but in short, this year I finally decided to leave. The library has been reduced from the first level to the third level. This year, even the third level has to be maintained. The curator has asked her to
catch up the work
and there is also a library. The accountant is jealous of her. She is looking for her to do things while marrying her. You imagine that an accounting account has not been done for a few years. When the working group is in the cultural department, a new employee who has been in the library for half a year is going to help fill in the accounts.
After leaving the library, she ran to sell flowers. Her classmate opened a wholesale department in Changsha, and she saw business opportunities again. During this time, we went to Guangzhou for a trip. In seven days, she came to the aunt, and went around to buy things everywhere. I booked the best hotel to let her rest, but she couldn't rest. After visiting Guangzhou, I have to go back and sell flowers. Then there was a fight.
I am also very tired.
For a year and a half or even longer, I always have only one purpose, that is, let her reduce the burden, we do not lack money, although the income of my book is better than a well-known god, but it is enough to be well-off. It’s a day, even when I’m carrying a computer, I can go out and travel at any time. The most important thing is that I don’t have many partners, and there is no need for people who have to entertain to participate in the dinner. This is really the best day. I hope she understands that we are not lacking anything, not so much burden, buying what we want, going where we want to go, for a year and a half, I haven’t been alone. I used to There will be several trips - I will even push away from the starting point.
But her heart is not stable.
It may not be enough for me to do it. It may be that I am not doing it right. I also hope that, like in the novel, on TV, the silence will wait for her to suddenly let go one day, not so urgency, at least not yet.
Then there were a few more arguments.
For a long time, she also has psychological problems. The control of emotions is not mature. She often makes herself sulking for other people's problems, and then can't eat. One meter sixty-eight, eighty pounds of weight, quickly thinned into ribs. The problem after selling flowers is that her mother, my mother-in-law, said that she did not make sense to sell flowers all day, and she also hoped that she would go back to work in the civil service.
My mother-in-law is also a strange person. Her heart is really good, but she is a child. She jumps up and down in order to do things like this. I hope everyone can follow her steps. The first New Year's Eve after we got married was in the house of the parents-in-law, that is, the house where the wife bitten the teeth. The furniture was not bought yet, the living room was cold, there was no air conditioning, and the father-in-law was hiding in the quilt. TV, mother-in-law said tired, while you go up and down, what do you want to eat, eat no dumplings, I went to get it, tossed a night, then I felt that it was a good person.
When her wife goes to work, she has to go to work every day. Whenever she encounters anything, she must dictate her. She likes civil servants. Therefore, she despise the flower shop very much. Her wife is often said to be depressed. Sometimes, mother-in-law even has daily Three people had to call to instruct, did nothing at lunch, didn't eat at lunch... I couldn't eat yesterday, and we had another fight. My mood is hardly disturbed by any other person. After I get married, there will be one more person. When Guangzhou returns to Cavan for a month, my mood is also very poor, and I am full of frustration. The mood of the code word is not in place because Anxiety and headache. I said, for a year and a half, I have done what I did. If your emotions have been affected by various influences and finally affected the body, what should I do? Do you want to live with two people?
The put down should be put down.
She had a quarrel with the Queen Mother today, and cried and ran back. The Queen Mother worried about her and called me. I also said to the Queen Mother, how can a 30-year-old person even have to eat all day? Many things we can come by ourselves. After saying it, she was afraid that she was mad, and sent a message to her father-in-law to ask if she was mad.
She is also a good person, a kindhearted person who is hard to see in society.
In fact, in real life, there are more mothers who are difficult to get along with. Many times I think about it, my mother-in-law is really... I can’t get along with each other. She cares about us sincerely, and hopes that we will live with the lifestyle of 60-year-old cadres... Of course, we are better civil servants.
Sometimes I think that my wife lacks a sense of accomplishment in her life.
She is very talented, and everything can be quickly started. Art, design, photography, and flower arrangement can all have their own feelings, but she is not good at slap-and-shoot, and her emotional management skills are insufficient. Does not match the ability. Originally graduated from school, she did game design and even had her own studio. In her early 20s, she could get a salary of 30,000 yuan a month. Later, she returned to Wangcheng and hoped to take care of her mother. The mother rushed to let her enter the bureaucratic system. She did not get any sense of accomplishment.
I sometimes watched her do this awkwardly and wanted to find a way out. For a while, she even wanted to do live broadcasts. Her Weibo was mostly my book fan. She started to talk about flower arrangements and exam cheating twice. In total, I left my face after revealing my face. I think she hopes her success is her own success~EbookFREE.me~ She has been trying to make clothes for a while, desperately want to contact the manufacturers in Guangzhou, and watch the increase of fans on Weibo, and I am very excited. Tell me: "Now are your fans. I started the online shop and started washing the powder." I said that you should spend some money to do it first. I will pay for it, the first store, and experience.
She is reluctant.
She likes to watch a live broadcast of a net red on the Internet. The net red always broadcasts her own life. She is a woman. I don’t like it. She said that she is watching people’s life. I said that it is so smooth and life. It is fake and deceptive.
Those clumsy, live broadcasts against a group of book fans, and then see the live broadcast of people less and less, is true.
That kind of clumsy and cute.
For life, we can say 10,000 kinds of ideas and write it into the book, which is convincing.
As far as reality is concerned, I think we are all struggling awkwardly in our own mud.
I hope my wife can find inner peace.
I hope my mother-in-law can understand that everyone has their own lives.
Although it is more likely that today's noisy frame will become a dog's blood tomorrow. It’s nothing more than life. I think, I am still very lucky.
I didn't intend to write this year's essay, because few people would write these trivial lives on the public platform, especially if it still lives, but then think about it, it's good, there is nothing to say. Over the years, most of my friends who can talk in life are far away – in fact, I have basically lost the desire to talk to people around me. I am still used to writing them on paper, on computers, who can see who is my friend. We are not all experiencing life.
This is my 32-year-old puzzle and story.
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