Chapter 2: The first years (1)

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After a break, how about the little leaves?
How is General New Youweimen? Is your sunny baby still?
We miss you all
1
The beginning of memories
Where is youth?
Each boy's eyes are black and white, like a curtain.
Brave, impulsive, cowardly, curious, eager, confused, sad, disappointed, thinking ...
All the brilliant colors belonging to youth are staged on the black and white screen.
When it is performing colorfully, we are ignorant of ignorance, even if it is close to our eyes.
Because it is too close, in our eyes, so we cannot see.
We can only see clearly when it gradually moves away. See clearly the cause and effect behind all the stories that may or may not be wonderful, but everything is already frozen film, no matter whether we are smiling or weeping, we can only stand on the side of time and watch the time The gathering and dispersal, gain and loss on that screen.
This is youth, and only after it leaves can we see clearly.
I was born in a very ordinary family, neither rich nor poor, and my parents' education is neither high nor low. In my memory before the age of five, there were very few pictures about them because my parents sent me to my grandfather after the birth of my sister Luo Yuanyuan who was one year and five months old.
At my grandfather, I was very happy and happy, and I loved it all. I was a typical child in a "honey jar".
My grandfather is the best local civil engineer. I can draw circles without compasses. I write very beautiful small letter script. In my later years, I like to read Jin Yong. I still have his hand-written copy of "Yi Tian Tu Long Ji" at home. Ancient book.
My grandfather was rich, and his family is the owner of the big orange garden. Because of his origin, in that era, he did not experience wind and waves, but no matter what ordeal, he was indifferent. The only thing that made him unable to be indifferent was his divorce from his grandmother. After the divorce, my grandmother took her mother to travel to another country and married another man. This man was very mean to my mother, and her mother's childhood and youth were unfortunate. It was more than 20 years after the mother saw her grandfather again. At the first meeting, the mother couldn't call the word "daddy", and the grandfather and the old man's tears were no longer because of the joy of the things and the sadness of the self.
It was the grandmother who filed for divorce, and it was not the grandfather who made the mistake. However, my grandfather was still very guilty about my mother. In addition, I was the only grandchildren around him. According to the memories of my second aunt, when I was a child, I was so arrogant, arrogant, and cheap. She bought me a pair of small leather shoes and served me to wear them in the morning. I refused to wear them. I felt that the leather shoes were not bright enough, no matter how she persuaded them. She could only help me shine shoes without having breakfast. She complained a few words. I immediately went to the foreign announcement and insisted on hitting her ass. Grandpa took the second aunt with the newspaper. In addition, no one in the family can take photos of anyone. If I am not included in the camera, no one wants to take a photo. Even a photo of a colleague of the second aunt, I have to mix it up. So, although photography was still a serious and rare thing in those days, I could n’t see too many photos before the age of five. Often it was a bunch of adults with a little bit in between, and everyone was crying and laughing, but I was proud. Yang Yang.
The memory of those people's indignation came from the second aunt's story, I don't remember it at all. In my memory, I only remember that my grandfather took me to go fishing. I did n’t like him to hug him, so he walked by himself. He followed me in a short way. I would pick flowers in a while, catch grasshoppers in a while, and walk It ’s normal for an hour or two, and my grandfather has been with me; my grandfather bought me chocoholic chocolate, just because I love to eat, he does n’t mind people saying that children should n’t be drunk; I apply ink to his collection of ancient books The second aunt looked distressed, and he only smiled; in the early morning, he taught me to recite "Spring Sleep Does Not Know"; in the evening, he hugged me and sat in a rocking chair, shaking against the sunset.
Drowned by my grandfather, I was arrogantly happy.
At the age of five, my parents took me back to me because I was going to elementary school. I remember when my mother appeared in front of me, I refused to call her "Mom". I just sucked on the lollipop and looked at the woman who came from afar and looked sad with suspicious eyes. In my crying, kicking and kicking, my mother forcibly took me to the train and returned to my "home".
From then on, my happiness ends and suffering begins.
Next to my grandfather, I am a little princess. I have all the best things, the most generous love, and the whole world revolves around me, but, beside my parents, another little girl, my sister is the little princess.
My parents were busy at work, and they gave my sister only spare time. My sister has been growing up with her parents. She can speak kindly, coquettish, and coax her parents happy, and I am a person who refuses to call "daddy" or "mother" for a long time.
The two children of similar ages are raised egoistically, and inevitably grab toys and snacks together. I have been repeatedly told and warned by my parents: "You are the elder sister, you have to let the younger sister."
Under the education of parents "sister harmony, sister let sister", the best toys are for the sister, the best food is for the sister, and the most beautiful skirt is for the sister. All in all, as long as she wants and she likes, I will give up without a word.
After countless times of "sister letting my sister", I started to learn to be good, often hiding alone to play, no matter what, I will consciously wait for my sister to pick first, she does not want to belong to me, even to me, As long as she wants, I will give it to her at any time. Eat, go to the dining table, without a word, eat quickly, and then leave, their laughter and conversation has nothing to do with me.
I started whispering and started to be silent. I often miss my grandfather. At that time, every time when I was lonely, I thought about waiting for me to grow up. When I could take the train by myself, I would go back to my grandfather. Look forward to.
The deepest picture in the memory is at dusk, my mother is busy in the kitchen, I hide in the corner of the bookcase and turn over the "Children's Pictorial", my father returns from work, and opens the door, the first sound is "瑗 瑗", my sister yelled "Dad", happily pounced on her, her father hugged her, tossed it high, and caught it, and the two laughed happily in the living room.
I hid in the dark and peered silently. They play games, they tell stories, they laugh and laugh, and for an hour, no one asked me where I went. It feels like I'm sitting at the end of the universe's wilderness, it's dark all around, very cold, lonely and desolate all over my body. At that time, I might not have understood what the universe was, or the emotion that made me look out longingly, but sadly refused to go out myself, but that curled up in a dark corner, arms tight I hugged myself and stared outside without blinking my eyes. The child eager to hear his name called by my parents was always engraved in my heart.
It wasn't until the dinner was ready that my mother had prepared all the dishes that I thought of asking me to eat. I was still hiding in the dead corner formed by the bookcase, sofa, and wall. I was hurting myself and proud, thinking inexplicably over and over again in my heart: Why am I thinking of me now? Too late, already late! If it is earlier, I will rush out happily and happily because of your call, but now, I do n’t want to agree! I just don't want to agree! I do not care! I'm not rare at all!
My mother opened each room and called me, and they didn't find me. They asked my sister where I went, but the stupid villain only shook his head and said softly, "I'm playing with building blocks and I don't know where she is." "
Because I am small, sitting in the corner is a visual blind spot; they ca n’t think of it, I was in the living room, under their eyes, this is also a psychological blind spot, so my parents have never found me, panicked I could n’t wait to eat, and hurriedly found the aunt next door to take care of my sister. The two put on their coats, rushed into the cold wind of winter night, and began to look around for me. Everything happened.
I did not deliberately create this panic, I just did n’t really want to agree to their calls, and later, when things went wrong, I started to panic and fear myself, I did n’t know what to do, I could only hide myself deeper stand up.
This farce continued until late at night, when my sister found me when she picked up the falling blocks. This guy had an excited expression of "our army seized the Kuomintang secret agent", and invited him to report. My father caught me and wanted to fight. My mother stopped him and asked me why. I looked at my father's palm and touched his , Rushed out without thinking: "I didn't hear you call me, I fell asleep while looking at the picture."
The first lie of my life saved me a meal of "iron palm fried meat".
When I was six months old, I entered primary school.
At that time, the school age was strictly regulated. No one was allowed to go to school before reaching the age of seven, let alone one year or one month. In order to send me to school, my father thought a bit about how to send me to the elementary school of the local garrison. The school was run by the army and the admission standards were relatively loose.
However, because I had tuberculosis, I stopped schooling before I had learned the pinyin.
After one year at home, my parents asked me if I should re-read the first grade or continue to the second grade.
At that time, a ballad was popular in the school: "The repetition students fried peanuts and fried the peanuts to the doctor. The doctor said it was delicious, it turned out to be a repetition student!"
I have witnessed a group of children gather at the roadside and chant aloud to a child. Thinking of this, I fought a cold war and resolutely told my parents that I was going to the second grade with my classmates. My parents asked me to go to second grade.
I was younger than my classmates, half-minded, and did not go to first grade in primary school. The result is easy to imagine-my grades are not good. Because of her loneliness and indifference, and poor grades, I am not the type my teacher likes from head to toe, so I have become more lonely, reticent, and have poor grades.
However, these are nothing, because my parents do not care about my academic performance, they never scold me because I took the penultimate and second, they just said that they should do their best, so I do n’t have too much pressure to study . In addition to the sister who made me envious, jealous, and hate, and the family that made me feel very depressed and lonely, my life was also decent, I even made an extremely good friend-Ge Xiaofei, she is the first in the class First name, is an only child. I envy my younger sister for playing together, and I envy all the only children. In junior high school, when I was in a political class and learned that family planning is the basic national policy of China, I also complained that the implementation of basic national policy in China was not enough.
Ge Xiaofei likes to talk very much, but I don't like talking very much. Being with me, she definitely doesn't have to worry about someone talking to her. In addition to this complementary difference, Ge Xiaofei and I have one thing in common. We do not like to go home. Often after school, when the other students have already returned home, the two of us still wander around the school.
I lingered a lot, I did n’t see my head when I looked up, and when we came and went, the two of us became good friends. When I was in front of her, I occasionally became as lively and naughty as my grandfather. The two of us went to school together and after school together. When we were together, we always held hands, and I felt she was my sister. Even a candy, I will leave half to her, she is also very good to me, as long as I want, she would rather not want to leave it to me; when I am not happy, she always tries to make me funny Laugh; my hands are clumsy, and every handwork class is slower than others. She always helps me do it first, and waits for my homework before I rush to do my homework.
The two of us are as good as Siamese babies, and we want to be together all the time. One day after school, we played hand in hand for a long time, but still didn't want to part, but it was already dark.
Xiaofei said she did n’t want to go home and asked if I could accompany her. I invited her to go to my house. Mom and Dad saw me take my children home and treated her warmly. At night, the two of us slept in a bed and fell close. In the beginning, it was the first time I didn't feel lonely at home, I felt extremely happy.
After waking up the next day, watching her parents look haggard, she realized that Xiao Fei's failure to return home at night caused a panic. At that time, there was no phone call. Her parents could only look for them at home. Dad lied to Xiao Fei that her mother knew that she was very upset at my house, but her mother didn't say much. She still made a rich breakfast and let us go to school after eating.
After Xiao Fei was unhappy for a day, he became happy again the next day.
Because of Xiao Fei, although my life has a shadow, it is still happy. However, life probably thinks that my little camel has not enough load, so it threw me a very thick firewood.
In the third grade of elementary school, because of my father ’s job transfer, I was going to leave here and go to a new city. Xiaofei and I waved goodbye, she cried and cried. Although I did n’t cry at the time, I got on the bus but started Tears madly, and do not want parents to find out that they need to hold their breath tightly in order to make no sound.
Little age has not really understood what it means to say goodbye, but he is crying for goodbye.
Entering the new elementary school, I met a new math teacher-Teacher Zhao. From then on, the new suffering in my life began.
This evil witch has given me a psychological shadow of the teacher so far. Every time I read what a teacher is a candle, I want to sneer when I burn myself to illuminate the students. My life experience is just the opposite. There are indeed good teachers, but many teachers are very snobbish. If the parent of a child is a high-ranking official, she will be very kind to that child; if the child ’s parents happen to be from the Education Bureau, the teacher Her gentleness, kindness, and selfless dedication are indeed comparable to candles. However, if you do n’t have parents who are officials, and you just do n’t have money, and you do n’t want to do it yourself, and your academic performance is not good, then at this time, the teacher prefers to target you in the classroom and throw you with a chalk head, Or, from time to time, roll your eyes and use understatement to sneer at the embarrassment that you cannot answer the question.
Adults often think that children don't understand many things. In fact, our hearts are very sensitive. We all have "face". We hate being reprimanded in public. After countless flushes, I became more and more afraid of this teacher, and she also looked down on me more and more, every class likes to call me to ask questions, ridicule me a few words. My awkwardness, poor grades in my studies, my inability to speak, and even my solitary personality dissatisfied her. She still remembers that she pouted her lips, squinted at me, and said in a tone of hatred of iron: "Why don't you look like a child? You are stupid and stupid, and you don't know where the food you eat is digested. "
The children all have a sensitive and unusual heart. At that time, everyone likes to be spoiled by the teacher, like to be a class cadre, like to wear three red bars or two red bars on their arms, standing at the school gate, with a serious face Check whether the classmate's red scarf is worn, whether the girl dyes her nails, and whether the boy's hair exceeds the ears. Children often value face more than adults, because the world is small, so all small things are not small. The elementary school teacher is a very ordinary person in the whole society, but in front of all the children she teaches, it is like a half god. Her praise and criticism, her love and disgust will produce an unimaginable butterfly effect.
Under the obvious contempt of Teacher Zhao, the classmates in the class were also affected. They began to dislike playing with me, jumping rubber bands, throwing sandbags, and shuttlecocks. No one wanted to be with my family. After several embarrassments, I became aware Actively estranged from the whole class, often when they play together, I sit alone beside the flower bed in a daze.
At home, I am lonely and need to let my sister everywhere. At school, I am alone, and my teachers and classmates do not like me. At home, I often sit in the corner and silently watch my sister hug my father and laugh and coquettishly; at school, I often stand in the distance and silently watch my classmates jumping rubber bands and throwing sandbags.
There are many bad feelings in this world, but loneliness is the most terrifying of them.
Later, accidentally, I read an ancient dragon martial arts novel on my father's bookshelf. The lonely, lonely, abandoned feelings of the protagonist struck my little heart like thunder and lightning. baby. Since then, I have been quieter and more lonely in an imaginary world.
2
Met him
Recognizing the importance of teachers in children ’s lives, traditional Chinese culture has always emphasized respecting teachers and respecting teachers. Respecting teachers in China has long risen to moral standards, but they have forgotten. Because of the importance of teachers in children ’s lives, teachers actually Children should also be respected.
With respect for the individual's life, there can be a correct guidance of the individual's life.
At the end of the third grade, because of the increase in the number of students in the school and the rumor that the class will be re-classified, I began to pray secretly in my heart, and change this teacher Zhao away!
Our school has a national flag-raising ceremony once a week. After the flag-raising ceremony, the principal will praise the advanced and criticize the backwardness, and then issue a floating red flag to the class that performed well last week.
This week is also the same. It used to be a routine business. I lowered my head and did n’t care. Anyway, the class to which the mobile red flag was awarded has nothing to do with me.
After the mobile red flag was issued, the principal spoke seriously about theft, what violated the criminal law, and went to jail. If he caught up with the year of severe beating, he would be shot!
A boy was invited to the stage by the principal, and the principal began to declare the boy ’s crime: stealing bicycles, stealing the teacher ’s wallet, extorting lower grade students with the upper grade students, coercing the lower grade students to steal their parents ’money, fighting groups, using The bicycle chain injured a sixth-grade boy in the first elementary school and wrote a love letter to the upper-grade girl ...