Vol 3 Chapter 49: Teenager's heart

"Do you know what hatred is? Hatred is the kind of thing that can burn you, stun your mind, and confuse your reason. It tends to make you impulse desperately. And I am just like this every day Fight with feelings. "
"Four years, under this almost crazy self-repression, even the fire man has become an ice man!" Xiu muttered.
Lilith looked at Xiuyi in shock, listening to him narrating everything she had endured on the Purgatory Island for four years, and it was only then that she finally understood what kind of psychological struggle process Xiuyi experienced.
She finally believed that it was definitely a very difficult process.
Just as she thought of Kevin Beers every time she hated her teeth, and Xiu Yi at that time was like Lilith facing a group of Kevin Beers every day, and then she had to flatter and laugh and work hard.
She asked herself if she could never do that kind of forbearance.
Maybe she had stepped forward to make a life and death with the enemy.
Of course, the person who fails must be himself.
Looking at Lilith, who was awakened, Xiu suddenly smiled, her voice filled with sentiment:
"Yes, I used to want to yell into the sun every day and tell my heart to live a good life. But God didn't give me this opportunity!"
Although Xiu Yi's voice was very light, the power full of that discourse hit Lilith fiercely.
"So I changed myself, forcibly reversed my personality, and made myself deeper, more rational, and more efficient."
"I must learn to analyze people. From the moment I see the other person, I analyze the other person's personality traits, whether there is value that can be used by me, plan for the future from the beginning, and ensure that there are no mistakes in the plan. "
"When I was on Purgatory Island, I made hundreds of plans, each of which had to be carefully scrutinized and repeatedly verified, so as not to make any mistakes. Even so, we must prepare various backup plans to respond to contingencies."
"Four years, Lilith, I'm used to this kind of life. I find that I finally don't have to forcibly twist myself. Because I have reshaped myself. Reshape according to the principle of survival needs to be bigger."
"That's why I can survive."
Speaking of this, Xiu Yi smiled softly.
"Don't you want to know why I insisted on fighting the Lance Empire to the end? That's why. I hate them far more than you think. They make me lose a wonderful time and let me live in painful I even forced me to change my character. I was like a beast. Everything I had was only from the perspective of survival. I built myself into an upgradeable fighting machine. Like me If you do n’t fight, you ca n’t reflect my value. Who can I fight?

"Only the Lance Empire." Xiu Yi said firmly.
"You don't have to do this, you have many ways to prove yourself."
"Yes, but it won't be better than it is now. You know? There is a thing in the world called a volcano. In the long days, they spend most of their time sleeping. But when they wake up one day, they will Generates the power to destroy the heavens and the earth. It is even more terrifying and powerful than the powerful spell-casting magic of this world. "
"Lilith, I am that volcano. My hatred has accumulated into a sea of ​​fire, and it is burning. I need to give them a space to release, and only then can they not burst out, destroy everything, destroy Myself."
"Oh my god." Lilith exclaimed softly.
In order to survive, Xiuyi covered his exterior with a thick layer of ice.
But this does not change the fact that he was once a hot-blooded boy.
As he walked from that moment, the volcanic ice crust began to melt, and the flame at the bottom of his heart burned.
At that time Xiu Yi knew that the hatred in his heart could only be washed away with a large amount of blood.
He didn't want the twisted soul to control himself.
But this is not easy.
He needs to walk in this world, feel the warmth of this world, and let more sunlight shine on himself to re-warm his cold heart.
But in the process, he also needs a channel to vent his anger and hatred.
It is a dangerous and clever way to choose to fight against the empire and fix the goal of revenge.
The danger is that during this confrontation, he may fail at any time and die.
The clever thing is that this method is really effective.
Passively defending and counterattacking to kill the enemies of the specified target can not only vent anger and resentment, relieve stress, but also prevent yourself from being lost in the killing.
Looking for the sun in the blood path of revenge and going out of tomorrow is undoubtedly the best solution.
"Yes, do you understand me? I'm not the Hugh Glayer you know. There is no such Hugh Glayer in this world, because it is just an illusion. He is neither deep nor too much Intellect, on the contrary, is a metamorphosis that has caused the mind to twist during his four-year prison life. The only thing that is thankful is that there is still a ray of sunlight in the heart of the metamorphosis, as well as the remaining reason. "
"So I give up peace. Because I need a venting channel. I don't want to be that volcano that has accumulated power and exploded at the last moment, burning down everything. You want to know my true purpose, then this is the real thing. Walking the world lets I can feel the sunshine of life, believe in the beauty of life, and maintain a person's conscience and morals; killing those who pursue me can bring me the satisfaction of satisfaction, let me have the joy of revenge, and vent my anger; a powerful opponent , The crisis of survival keeps me awake and rational at all times, so that I will not fall into madness and chaos. "
"The last reason ... is to make me stronger quickly."
Xiu murmured, pouring out all the hardships and sufferings in his heart. Over the years, he has never told anyone his own heart. In the eyes of everyone, this boy is mysterious, powerful, and even terrible.
Until this moment, he finally let Lilith see that there was something fragile on the deep and calm side, but he just demonstrated it to death and was not noticed by anyone.
Lilith felt something, and she pinched Xiu Yi and pressed it against her plump chest: "The method you choose is too lonely. Now, I will share the pressure with you."
"Thank you, that's exactly what I need." Xiu Yi murmured softly.
On the bank of the river, the two people are closely nestled together, no longer like a pair of sisters and brothers, to a pair of lovers.
Unfinished ...! ~!