Chapter 212

: Can you let me eat in peace?
Translator: 
GodBrandy 
 Editor: 
Kurisu
He didn’t know the reason either, but after hearing Song Shuhang’s words, True Monarch Yellow Mountain was touched. Given Senior White’s disposition, it wasn’t impossible for them to end up in space.

I understand. I’ll prepare everything you need.
True Monarch Yellow Mountain assured him.
In the end, he still reminded,
Right. You absolutely can’t let Doudou board the plane. He was nagging me about driving license. Who knows what might happen if he were to board a plane! Don’t give him an opportunity to get close to any aircraft!


Senior Yellow Mountain, you don’t need to worry.
Song Shuhang heaved a sigh and said,
Doudou doesn’t seem interested in coming with Senior White and me to take flight lessons. Therefore, you don’t have to worry too much about it.

Earlier, Doudou gave him his dog fur to protect him from dangers. It seemed that even Doudou was aware how dangerous it was to go with them.

Is that so? If this is really the case, it would be perfect.
True Monarch Yellow Mountain replied— Is Doudou’s temperament getting better?

According to True Monarch Yellow Mountain experience, Doudou was always looking for a chance to stir up trouble. Therefore, it would be strange if he wasn’t going to meddle with something as enticing as flight lessons.
Did Doudou stop being a troublemaker after staying with little friend Song Shuhang? If this is really the case, it’s absolutely perfect!

When he was raising Doudou, he wanted to turn him into a lovable and obedient pekingese, and certainly not into a hyperactive husky-like mischievous beast. Till this day, True Monarch Yellow Mountain had yet to understand how and why had Doudou turned into such a troublemaker.
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Just as he was in deep thought, a pleasing sound echoed outside his immortal cave. The surveillance talisman had detected the presence of a fellow daoist. This function was similar to a doorbell.
True Monarch Yellow Mountain quickly activated the mirror. Its surface lit up like the screen of a computer, and quickly displayed an image of the outside of the cave.
A beautiful fairy maiden was standing at the entrance, her face smiling. As if she had induced True Monarch Yellow Mountain’s vision, she waved her small hand and said,
Senior Yellow Mountain, I came here to chat a bit!


Ah? It’s Lychee! How come you have free time today?
True Monarch Yellow Mountain heartily laughed and deactivated the surveillance talisman.
Fairy Lychee was sweetly smiling, and she seemed completely harmless to any spectator’s eye…
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On the other side.
After his discussion with True Monarch Yellow Mountain, Song Shuhang was searching on the Internet, checking things like ‘what to do in case of plane crash’ or ‘how to use a parachute’ and small tricks to use when flying a plane.
Even if Senior White could use his flying sword and he had Doudou’s dog fur, it was still better to be prepared. Dying meant that everything would be over, so he had to do his best to increase his chances of survival.
Then, after taking a deep breath, he put up a bright smile and went downstairs to eat.
Since they had forgotten to bring Little Candy back when they returned from the forbidden area, the quality of the dishes had declined quite a bit.
Senior White had gone outside and bought things like soybean milk, steamed stuffed buns, fried dough sticks, porridge, pickled vegetables, and so on.
There was a lot of variety.
But why had Senior White gone out to buy breakfast?
Song Shuhang turned his head and looked at Senior White.
Venerable White, who was scrolling on the tablet with his finger, seemed to have induced Song Shuhang’s gaze. He raised his head and both his cheeks were bulging,
Pew pew pew~

There were several boxes of bayberries beside him. It seemed he had gone outside to buy bayberries and bought breakfast while he was at it.
Unexpectedly, Senior White wasn’t tired of eating bayberries yet. It seemed that cultivators really had powerful bodies. If a normal person were to eat so many bayberries, their teeth would start to hurt, but Senior White was eating them as though it was nothing.
Song Shuhang sat down and stretched out his hand, taking a piece of white bread. At the same time, he asked,
Senior White, didn’t Guoguo come to eat breakfast?


He is in the bathroom. He has been there for a long time.
Senior White replied.
For a long time, huh? Are his hemorrhoids so serious? No wonder he ran away from the temple to have a surgery.


Guoguo, a piece of advice here. Remember to clean your butt properly when you go to the toilet. Otherwise, your hemorrhoids might become even more serious.
Song Shuhang said thoughtlessly.
Sitting for too long and not cleaning your butt properly could both cause hemorrhoids. This was general knowledge.

Ah?! They will become more serious?!
The small monk in the bathroom called out in alarm.

Yes. Therefore, pay proper attention to your hygiene.
Song Shuhang took a fried dough stick and ate it after wrapping it with white bread. He loved to eat it like that.
Then, he turned on the TV in the living room and casually started to switch channels, looking for one that was broadcasting news.
After switching several channels, he arrived at Jiangnan area’s news channel. The content immediately piqued his interest.
The channel was broadcasting an interview.
On the left, there was a middle-aged man wearing eyeglasses. His face was giving off an ‘I-know-it-all’ air.
On the right was the pretty female host. She was wearing a beautiful black dress and was in the middle of a Q and A session with the expert.

Professor Liu, since you’re an expert in geology, we have a question for you. This is something that has been bothering the residents of the Jiangnan area for a while.
The hostess said with a smile,
It happened on July 1st nearby the electronic shopping center. A huge subsidence of the earth suddenly occurred in that place. Can you explain the reason?

Song Shuhang, who was about to take a bite of his food, immediately stopped. The hostess was talking about Senior White’s masterpiece. At the time, he fell to the ground and created a huge hole.
There were many different theories about that hole on the web.
Some were saying: This isn’t a normal subsidence of the earth! There is no way that the hole just happened to be perfectly round. Rather than the earth giving in, this seems the crater left behind by a meteorite!
But it was impossible for it to be the crater left behind by a meteorite. It was daylight, and no one noticed a meteor falling from the sky. Moreover, there wasn’t any mark of combustion left behind.
In short, there were many strange and inconclusive theories on this matter.

There is no doubt about it; it’s a subsidence of the earth!
Professor Liu said firmly.
Then, he slowly started to explain how subsidences of the earth came to be, complaining that too many minerals and too much underground water were extracted and so on. He gave out a very colorful description.
The explanation went on till it turned into a course about subsidences of the earth. Then, he started saying that evil capitalists were overexploiting underground resources. Afterward, he began to explain to everyone that they had to protect the environment and how everyone had responsibilities.
The professor was babbling nonstop, and the spectators were baffled.
The hostess at this time: Fck! Where has this topic gone to? Stop straying off from the main point and sum it up in five or so lines!
But, she couldn’t say these words out loud. Let alone that, she even had to put on a ‘what Professor Liu says is correct’ face and make an
Oh
sound from time to time to agree with him.

Alright. Let’s just say that it was a subsidence of the earth.
Song Shuhang secretly heaved a sigh. It wasn’t only him, many of the residents of Jiangnan area were of the same mind.
Professor Liu was the winner!
At this time, Senior White raised his head and looked at the TV with a smile on his face,
Oh? Is that the hole I created while I was in a daze?


Senior, no. That’s a subsidence of the earth!
Song Shuhang turned his head and said in a serious tone,
This is the result of those evil capitalists continuously exploiting underground resources. They are the ones that led to the creation of this hole. As for why the hole resembles the crater of a meteor, Professor Liu will surely have an explanation for that too!


Oh, so it was like this.
Senior White nodded,
In other words, I don’t need to use my Ground Leveling Spell after getting careless and creating holes in the ground, right?


Senior White!
Song Shuhang held his thumb up in approval,
Yes, it’s exactly like that!

Then, he took the fried dough stick and wrapped it in the bread once again, preparing to take a bite.
Sometimes, these experts were rather useful…
Just as he was about to take a bite… the door to the bathroom opened.
The small monk Guoguo had a very serious face as he ran toward Song Shuhang, his butt still bare.
Song Shuhang was confused. What was this kid trying to do?
After arriving in front of Song Shuhang, Guoguo stuck up his small butt and said,
Senior Brother Shuhang, please look. Is my butt clean?

Song Shuhang turned his head and looked at Guoguo’s hemorrhoids-ridden butt.

…
Song Shuhang was dumbfounded!
Please, can you let me eat in peace?

Then, he shot a look at the fried dough stick in his hand, golden-bright and dazzling. But no matter how he looked at it, right now he could only associate it with poop. I’m done. I’m not eating it anymore.


Senior Brother Shuhang?
Little Guoguo turned his head, somewhat confused.

It’s very clean.
Song Shuhang bitterly smiled,
Now, wash your hands and start eating.


Alright.
The small monk pulled his pants up and returned to the bathroom.
Song Shuhang threw the fried dough stick on a side and silently ate the white bread. Without the fried dough, the white bread had just a sweet taste and nothing else. It didn’t taste too good.
Soon, the small monk Guoguo returned,
Senior Brother Shuhang, what do we have for breakfast?


Soybean milk, fried dough sticks, bread, porridge, and pickled vegetables. You can choose whatever you want.
Song Shuhang pointed to the table.

Ah? You only have these? Aren’t we going to eat spirit rice balls or sweet dew liquid?
The small monk looked at Song Shuhang confused.
Spirit rice balls? Sweet dew liquid?
Only the bests disciples of a sect could enjoy these delicacies. How could a small loose cultivator like Shuhang have heard of them? Song Shuhang heaved a long sigh and said,
We don’t have them here.

At the same time, he turned his head and looked at Senior White.
Senior White:
Pew pew pew~

Senior White explained,
The spirit rice is a special type of rice created in conjunction with a cultivation technique. It has spiritual qi inside. The sweet dew liquid is the same. It’s a juice extracted from plants containing spiritual qi. During the body tempering stage, if a cultivator eats this food containing spiritual qi, it will increase the quantity of qi and blood in their body, speeding up their cultivation speed. When you’re free, I’ll help you plant a field of 1000 square meters with this stuff. When I was young, I did the same. It sure brings back memories.


Thank you, Senior!
Song Shuhang said with a smile.
The small monk seemed to have felt Song Shuhang embarrassment. He joined his palm together and chanted Buddha’s name,
Senior Brother Shuhang, no need to worry. Even if it’s normal breakfast, I don’t mind.

After a moment, he added,
Senior Brother Shuhang, was this dough stick fried in vegetable oil or animal one?

Song Shuhang was on the verge of tears,
I have no idea.


Oh. Then, I can’t eat it. I cannot break my religious rules.
The small monk copied Song Shuhang and started to quietly eat the bread.
For some reason, Song Shuhang felt rather depressed right now…