Chapter 255

: If I were a green onion?
Translator: 
Stardu5t 
 Editor: 
Kurisu
Lady Onion was after all an onion spirit that had lived for 300 years. She had accumulated a huge amount of monster qi within her body—even though all that monster qi was of no use to her, and could only be used to scare human beings.
However, monster qi was still monster qi!
After someone other than a specialized immortal chef chopped her up to use in cooking, the monster qi wouldn’t be removed due to lacking skills of the cook and enter the body of the person that consumed the food.
For ordinary human beings, they would be infected by the monster qi after eating the contaminated food.
The lucky ones would become deranged fools and then start killing people, stirring trouble, etc., until they tormented themselves to death.
The unlucky ones might end up becoming half-human and half-monster after being infected with the monster qi… by then, they would eventually die from unknown causes.
Even for cultivators, refining monster qi without sufficient cultivation could pose quite a bit of trouble!

You guys wanted to use me to make dishes? I’ve granted your wish!

Hence, when Mama Song was stir-frying the onion spirit, it was easily cooked after adding a bit of oil—that was the onion spirit actively cooperating with Mama Song.

After eating it, don’t even think about vomiting. Get tormented thoroughly by my monster qi, hehehehe. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I am too quick-witted,
Lady Onion said complacently.
Thereafter, Lady Onion, who was left with nothing but her roots, climbed out of Song Shuhang’s pocket, then slipped into the other pocket that still had the enlightenment stone in it.
Lady Onion’s roots plastered themselves onto the enlightenment stone, and then she started to scheme.
Next, after I catch my breath and regain some energy, I will escape with this treasured stone… and also take that treasured saber while I’m at it. That saber is indeed sharp, with one slash, it can easily cut my body into slices.

Tsk tsk, even though I lost my upper body, but in exchange for a treasured stone and saber, it’s worth it!

❄️❄️❄️
The monster qi in Shuhang’s abdominal area started to spread to his entire body. Afterward, the frantic monster qi started to slowly attack his consciousness.
Song Shuhang silently worked on the ‘True Self Meditation Scripture’. His true self in his sea of consciousness sat stably, maintaining a clear heart and consciousness. He was starting to attempt transforming the heat in his body into qi and blood. If it was possible, he would have hit the jackpot.
But at this moment, from Venerable White’s body next to him, there was a huge amount of spiritual qi that started churning. It was because Venerable absorbed the spiritual qi of the world into his body while he was practicing.
When that spiritual qi gathered towards Venerable White, a small portion of it would also be attracted by Song Shuhang’s body—in the world of cultivation, there would always be fights amongst disciples to guard the immortal cave their teacher was undergoing seclusion in for this exact reason.
When a formidable cultivator went into secluded meditation to practice, naturally it would attract a large amount of spiritual qi. If the disciples that were guarding seized the opportunity, they would then be able to benefit. It was a very pleasant affair.
At the same time, every time that spiritual qi scoured Song Shuhang’s body, it would automatically purge a small portion of the monster qi within his body…
❄️❄️❄️
Song Shuhang continued practicing, but before he knew it… he fell asleep.
And then, he had a dream.
He dreamt of himself… becoming a green onion!
After having strange dreams of Altar Master and loose cultivator Li Tiansu, he transformed once again and suddenly became a green onion?
As the saying goes, the first time was difficult, but the second was easy.
Song Shuhang was no longer frightened or flustered when he had ‘strange dreams’. He knew that most likely, he was gonna experience another person’s life again.
The reason why he would dream of Altar Master’s entire life was that prior to his death, his curse transformed into a resentful ghost, attaching itself to his body, causing him to experience Altar Master’s miserable life……
And the reason why he dreamt of loose cultivator Li Tiansu’s life was that a part of Li Tiansu’s memories was fused together with the ghost spirit, and the ghost spirit was forced into a contract with Song Shuhang, hence causing him to experience part of Li Tiansu’s life…
Now that he dreamt that he was going to be a green onion… it should be because he ate the onion spirit and was going to dream about her life, right?
At this moment, Song Shuhang felt himself being grabbed by a wide and huge hand. That huge hand was so warm that it made him feel like he didn’t wanna leave.
Thereafter, the owner of the huge hand brought Shuhang the ‘green onion’ to an extremely tall mountain peak with a thick forest next to it and a clear stream on its right side.

We’re here.
The owner of the huge hand broke the silence, his voice akin to the thunder rolls high in the sky. Every sentence he said seemed to cause the Great Way of the world to follow the sound of his voice.
Looking at the scene in the memory, could it be more than 300 years ago—or even longer—when the onion spirit was planted? 
Song Shuhang conjectured in his heart.
From the looks of it, onion spirits aren’t monsters that are naturally born on earth, but a breed that required people to specially plant and nurture?

The owner of the huge hand personally dug a hole in the ground and carefully planted the green onion in his hand into the ground.
At this time, Song Shuhang used the onion’s ‘line of sight’ and saw the owner of the big hand clearly.
He was a skinny man, wearing a fire-red daoist robe; his entire body seemed to be shrouded in mist.
Song Shuhang stared blankly, and then yelled in astonishment,
Daoist Priest Scarlet Heaven!

The daoist priest in a fire-red daoist robe before his eyes was the same Daoist Priest Scarlet Heaven who passed on a skill in the memories of ‘loose cultivator Li Tiansu’!
At that time, within Li Tiansu’s dreamland, Daoist Priest Scarlet Heaven’s gaze seemed to have pierced through time and space and directly saw the existence of ‘Song Shuhang’, passing on the ‘Flaming Saber’ to him.
Scarlet Heaven said that that was a very ordinary Flaming Saber, but when Song Shuhang saw him perform it, and the stance of burning the skies, he knew for sure that the ‘Flaming Saber’ passed on to him by Scarlet Heaven was definitely not as simple as an ordinary ‘Flaming Saber’.
Song Shuhang never thought that this time, within the memories of the onion spirit, he would actually cross paths with that mysterious and formidable Daoist Priest Scarlet Heaven again.
❄️❄️❄️
But this time, Daoist Priest Scarlet Heaven did not seem to have seen Song Shuhang.

Keep going and grow. Even if you’re just an ordinary green onion, your future is limitless. I really wanna see how much and to what extent you can grow in the future—it is the scene that I wanna see most,
Daoist Priest Scarlet Heaven said to the small green onion in a gentle voice.
His warm hand gently caressed the leaf of the green onion and said,
Remember where you were born, you must always remember, never ever forget it… because your roots lie here.

After ending his speech, Daoist Scarlet Heaven stretched his body and stepped high up into the air, scaling higher with every step before disappearing completely.
It was as though planting the little onion was only a whim.
The little green onion swung back and forth slowly on the summit of the mountain… lonely but tenaciously, she took root and survived.
Next, the sun rose and the sun set, day after day, year after year.
In the blink of an eye, three years passed just like that…
Seriously, since it was a dream, wasn’t it better to just fast-forward those windy and sunny days like in movies? Why did it have to be so realistic, causing me to truly live like a green onion, going through day by day like that?

Song Shuhang felt like flipping a table! (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
Thereafter, for some reason, Song Shuhang suddenly thought of an essay he wrote himself in elementary school.
In elementary school, the essay topics were especially stupid.
That time, the topic was ❮If I were a blade of grass❯.
The young Song Shuhang wrote: If I were a blade of grass, I would do my best to grow—taking root and germinating, growing healthy and strong before undergoing photosynthesis, contributing to the society.
As for the concrete details, he could no longer remember clearly. But basically, that was roughly the content.
Thinking back, he was rather cute as a child, huh?
A blade of grass growing healthy and strong in a bid to contribute to the society? As long as the farmer uncles didn’t weed you out with agricultural chemicals, that was already considered good enough.
At most, they might cut grass to feed horses, pigs, cattle…
And what was foolish was… when Song Shuhang was younger, he thought that it would be very interesting if he were a blade of grass and led a worry-free life…
Who knew that this dream would actually be fulfilled one day.
Right now, he became an onion, swaying back and forth in the chilly winds, subjected to the wind and sun. Apart from staring blankly, there was nothing he could do.

If I were a green onion, I would choose to break my green onion kidney—commit suicide… because it’s freakin’ boring,
Song Shuhang muttered.
If someone were to say to Shuhang right now:
Perhaps becoming a little blade of grass can be a blissful thing because you’d have no worries.

Song Shuhang definitely would use his saliva to drown that person—please stick both of your legs into the soil and sway back and forth in the wind for three years before discussing with me the feeling of ‘becoming a little blade of grass’!
Right now, he had already swayed in the wind for a full three years!
So bored, so bored, if only a bunny would come and eat the green onion up, that would be so great.

But there were no bunnies, and there was not a single movement in sight.
The small onion swayed in the wind as per normal, being subjected to the wind and sun.
Hence, Song Shuhang continued living day after day, year after year…
In short, Song Shuhang couldn’t remember how many years had passed.
At the start, he could still mumble two words,
So bored, so bored.

But at the end, he was too lazy to even mumble.
As a green onion, he had to have the consciousness of a green onion, absorbing nutrients from the ground with its roots and germinating, as well as undergoing photosynthesis as a service to the whole human race.
❄️❄️❄️
Finally, one day, days of suffering ended abruptly.
Because that green onion suddenly became a spirit.
There wasn’t any prior indication or a sign.
There were no thunders of tribulation, no condensing of the Monster Core, no bad weather or violent thunder. Just, overnight, the onion spirit woke up and realized she became an adorable green-haired lady.
The onion spirit was very happy, she who had never left the ground before suddenly was equipped with the ‘legs’ function, just like humanity. As a cute little onion spirit, she started happily living her life within the forest on the summit of the mountain.
And living day by day freely without care or worries, several years have passed.
Song Shuhang couldn’t help but sigh—the green onion led a blissful life indeed, without any worries.
Thereafter, one day, a monster organization called [All the Monsters of the World Should Unite and Become a Family] suddenly appeared and took her in, bestowing her a with the name—’Lady Onion’.

All the Monsters of the World Should Unite and Become a Family? What kind of name is this? Hearing this name makes me wanna cuss!

But since it’s a monster organization… they would probably teach Lady Onion some combat skills, right? 
Song Shuhang thought to himself.
…Because according to past experiences, the lost techniques in his dreams, if he could remember them distinctly, could be learned! That ‘Flaming Saber’ was a good example of that!
If there were any lost techniques, then he would not have swayed about in the wind and snow for so many years in vain!
But very soon, he thought about Lady Onion, that useless monster spirit, again. Would that monster organization really have any lost techniques?