Chapter 124: [Pan Wai 2] Those years (3)

That year, the winter in Jiangcheng was extremely cold. The heavy snow covered all the tall buildings, forests and lakes. Only the water of the Yangtze River descended slowly.
Lin Mochen's car was parked downstairs in an old residential building. Two accompanying assistants waited by the car. Only Lin Mochen, with a black coat and dark scarf, followed He Jing upstairs.
He Jing was a little cramped and humble. Since Lin Moche and Mu Hanxia first met in Jiangcheng many years ago, she has always been a little afraid of this man. Now that he is a well-known big entrepreneur in the country, she is even more distressed. Fortunately, Lin Mochen basically did not speak all the way, just followed her quietly upstairs.
"Axia writes a few letters to me every year." He Jing said, "Most of them are about her life over there. I occasionally mention you."
"Really? What did you mention about me?"
He Jing paused and said, "The days when she just went, she still couldn't bear you. It's pitiful."
Lin Mochen remained silent.
At the door, He Jing took out the key to open the door, and at the same time asked tentatively: "You said you want to read those letters ... you are so good now, between you and her ..."
"It's not over between me and her."
He Jing froze, remembering what Mu Hanxia had said before, and the two of them were suddenly sad. She had received a sum of money from Lin Mochen and promised him to come and get everything related to Mu Hanxia, ​​and she still felt guilty. But now suddenly I feel that maybe I helped these two people by doing this?
"It's all here." He Jing handed him a small cardboard box. Lin Mochen took it with both hands. There were not many things in it, more than twenty letters, several postcards, and a few gadgets. Lin Mochen looked at the words on the postcard and belonged to her.
"Thanks." He didn't say a word, took the box, and turned away.
He Jing stood upstairs and watched him go downstairs. The assistant next to him took the box. He evaded his hand and got into the car. The car drove far, and the twilight descended a little. He Jing returned to the room, took out the kraft paper bag given by Lin Mochen, and looked at the thick stacks of banknotes inside, a little bun.
After a while, she suddenly reacted and rushed to the window, but only saw the vast snow.
Oops, the letter that Mu Hanxia sent recently is also there.

It was getting dark, Lin Mochen was sitting on the bed in the top suite of the hotel, his coat was taken off and thrown aside. Letters were also scattered across the bed.
In fact, in recent years, everything has been smooth, and the development of Fengchen has been particularly smooth, and his annual profit has continued to break. He had just stood in his thirties, and he was also proud of himself, full of spirit, and really in a good mood. The thought of going to the United States to find Mu Hanxia in the future is a bit sure.
He poured a glass of red wine, picked up the first letter, and looked carefully. The stationery was a little yellow. She sent it to He Jing when she first went abroad in October 2009.
"... Everything went well, I stayed in the hospital for more than a week. Actually, it wasn't a very serious illness, but I was very ill. Why did I feel that my vitality was badly hurt, as if I was seriously ill.
My landlord is Zhang Zi. He is a very nice person. He also has a favorite person in his life, but he died. He devoted himself to her, and then studied technology every day. Sometimes I see him suddenly thinking that I am lucky.
At least the person I love is living on the other side of the earth. He's such a smart and powerful person, I know he will get better and better.
But he no longer belongs to me. "
...
The second letter he pulled out was a year later, while Mu Hanxia was busy studying and started working outside.
"Everything is fine. You say you're married, I'm really happy. The gift money has been remitted, and I must accept it. I'm not polite to you. In the future, you will have children, but I will be a child's godmother. I ’m so sorry, I did n’t come back to watch the ceremony. Later, after I have established a foothold here, I will come back to see you. Wait for me ...
On the way to work from the cafe yesterday, I saw a man, much like him. I didn't watch much. I think I'm stupid, I still think of him. But now, I am much calmer. Whether he is good or bad now has nothing to do with me. Ah Jing, I think this is right. My decision to go abroad and leave him was the right one. Will have my smooth life now.
I will study hard and work hard. Come back in a few years and wait for me. "
...
Unconsciously, Lin Mochen had finished drinking a bottle of wine. He felt his brain a little bit up, and a soft and nostalgic mood seemed to slowly cover his heart. But there seemed to be some hollowness that was expanding in his mind. He is good at self-control, but the feeling at this time is contradictory and cannot be dominated. Alcohol exacerbates this sense of weakness. He knew faintly that he should not look down, because the more he lost at his age, the more inevitably people would go. But he couldn't stop.
Then he saw the letter. The payment date was two months ago.
"A Jing:
See words like meeting.
I was worried about seeing you in your letter saying that it was not pleasant to get along with him after marriage. I don't know how, because after all, I haven't experienced marriage. But then I thought about it seriously. Now that I'm married, I once thought that each other is a person for a lifetime, then as a woman, I try my best to resolve the contradictions and get along with each other better.
However, in marriage, you must protect yourself. This is paramount. Don't let him really hurt you, otherwise I won't let him go.
I sent some money over again, hoping to solve your urgent need. But if you guys really ca n’t live, his character is really problematic, and you want to divorce, I just want to say that I support all your decisions. I can't be with you by your side, please take good care of yourself.
Sorry I did not return to see you.
...
Seeing you say your love, I think my experience can't give you much reference meaning. But life is not just love.
A few months ago, I went to Costa Rica in South America. There is a small town with a large rainforest. This is the best place I have been in the past few years. A few young people and I followed the local tour guide and participated in a night tour group. We watched wild beasts out for food in the middle of the night, poisonous snakes, lizards ... That was a strange experience I had never heard before. In the middle of the night, you will hear the sound of the wind blowing the rain forest. They call it "Shu Tao", a very quiet and very shocking voice.
Later, I played a project called canopy (probably this name). On a very high mountain, I tied a zipline on my body and then leaned down to slide down. I still remember how I felt at the time. I slid for a few kilometers, and the stars seemed to be by my side, and I could reach them with my hand. On the ground, the rainforest looks like a blossoming broccoli, so remote and quiet. Some people are sitting down and others are lying down. Of those traveling with me, I was the only one with open arms, shouting all the way, gliding down. The coach even boasted about me. In fact, I was very scared because it was too high, and people seemed to fall from high altitude. But it was very exciting and very fun. It seems that the whole world is under my feet, and I am so small and worthy of respect.
When I landed, my legs were soft, and I had to hold on to stand. But at that moment, I suddenly thought of Lin Mochen.
Actually, I haven't thought of him for a long time. But remembered at that moment. Because I suddenly felt relieved. Life is so big, the world is so big. After all, he was just a passenger. Either I am disappointed by him, or I have loved him deeply, it is just a life experience. He helped me grow. He used to be a part of my life. I should be grateful. That's enough.
I have put him down completely. When I think of him, I don't feel anything. "
...
Lin Mochen put down his glass and picked it up again. The letter slipped down between his fingers, and he looked up, looking out at the heavy dark night outside the window. There were no stars and no signs of sunny.
There were still a few bottles of wine in the wine cabinet in the room. He took them out and drank a few more glasses. His face was cold and his heart was getting colder.
Since Mu Hanxia went abroad, he has hardly touched wine, and it is no exception on important occasions. But he didn't know how much to drink that night. But the young man who had just returned home was ignorant and arrogant when he was drunk. Now, he has a high weight and a wealthy enemy country. He drank alcohol, but became quieter and quieter.
In the end, he leaned on the floor beside the bed, surrounded by letters. He found the letter, and his eyes fell on the last line again. Tears approached the man's eyes instantly, and he rubbed the letter into a ball and lost it.
But when he looked up, he could not see the mess in the room and the snow outside the window. What he saw was his own destiny.
When he overlooked his destiny, he suddenly realized that the woman was obviously the deepest entangled branch. She meanders in the night, she wanders in dreams. She entangled not only his love, but also her career, ideals, and soul.
If it can't be obtained, if it can't be found, this is the whole life.