Translator:
CatCyan_
Editor:
Zayn_
Fatty!
Su Bai immediately called out.
Fatty was passing water when he got startled by Su Bai’s shout. Then he looked down and found his kit was being taken in and out rapidly by a ghost whose eyes were all white.
Fck! Five Elements, Eight Diagrams, Great Tao Suppress All!
Fatty formed a mark with his hands and then took a deep breath. His hyperemic part softened at once. It was surprising that he could force an impotence in this way.
Damn it! No wonder I felt so good! I thought it was because I got lifted up during the salsa dance! Turns out this bastard is trying to steal my manliness!
When the figure realized its failure, it immediately shrunk back into the jar. Fatty was extremely angry. Any man would get angry if his dck was kept in a ghost’s mouth, especially when it was such an ugly ghost instead of a pretty ghost lady.
Face my spell!
Fatty took out a spell paper and pasted it onto the jar. Immediately, the jar started quivering as if it was suffering from a great pain.
Just then, Ego heard the sound and walked to Su Bai.
What’s going on?
He asked.
Something in that jar.
Oh.
Ego touched his nose.
Or maybe there’s something wrong with Fatty. He always gets in trouble like this.
Fatty tied his belt, bent over, picked up the jar and then walked to them.
Damn it! This jar is remarkable! It’s a container for keeping ghosts! Gee! A ghost can be nourished in here, and if something special is added in, the spirit can even grow stronger! That’s impressive!
Su Bai and Ego stepped back at the same time with their hands covering their noses. Even if the jar was remarkable, it was smelling awful with Fatty’s urine in it.
Fatty, are you virgin? Don’t destroy this good jar with your virgin urine[1]!
Ego joked.
Bullocks! I haven’t been a virgin since primary school!
Fatty put the jar on the floor and looked at it happily.
Su Bai and Ego looked at each other. Then they went back to the room and continued searching.
Since a spittoon-like jar could be so amazing, they had better not miss other ordinary-looking stuff.
Ego was moving fast. But Su Bai stopped in front of a painting on the wall behind the bed.
There was a woman feeding a baby at her breast. But the baby looked nothing like those ordinary cute babies with its green face, ferocious fangs and the ghastly pale skin all over its body.
Su Bai stood there for over a minute, staring at that painting. Then Ego wiped his sweat and walked over.
What are you looking at?
Su Bai pointed to the infant,
When I was standing over there, in that painting, the baby was sucking its mother’s breast. And now… Look.
Ego looked at the painting. The baby was holding its mother’s breast with one hand and half of its body was turned over; it was now facing the people looking at the painting.
Ego licked his lips.
There’s something wrong about this painting?
Must be. Or maybe I had a blurred vision.
No, you didn’t have a blurred vision.
Ego was frank. He stepped on the bed and took off the painting,
I’ll take this one. Ha ha!
Su Bai didn’t care about that. But he saw something under the pillow. He walked over, moved the pillow and found a small mirror. It looked ancient and unsophisticated, but when he touched it, he suddenly felt sick, as if this mirror didn’t agree with him.
Taking a deep breath, Su Bai held the mirror in his hand. The mirror began to shake slightly, and Su Bai’s face became paler and paler.
Fatty had washed the jar clean and then walked over. He looked at the small mirror in Su Bai’s hand and smiled.
Bai, that won’t fit you. It was used to scare off the evil from houses. In the old times, houses were lower, and some people would put small mirrors like this one on the beams of their homes to avoid evils and ask for good luck. You’ve got a zombie nature that won’t agree with it. Besides, it doesn’t have any spirituality in it; there’s only some remaining spirit due to its long history as a household protection talisman, and such spirit will also disappear before long.
Su Bai shook his head. No, it was more than that. This mirror was not as simple as Fatty said. His blood and what was hidden in his body were all quivering as his hand touched the mirror, like a pot of hot oil boiling after water was poured in.
Finally, Su Bai groaned and put the mirror into his pocket. Without direct contact, the energy inside his body calmed down.
Should we go now, bro?
Ego asked.
Why am I having this feeling that those monks must have more than just one den?
Fatty was a little dissatisfied.
Fine, then you can go to their headquarters. There must be tens of thousands of followers waiting for you.
Ego joked.
Let’s just leave.
Su Bai said.
Fine, let’s go.
Fatty also agreed.
However, just when they were about to leave, the sounds of footsteps came from the outside. And it was not just one person but quite a few people walking toward this room.
Sht! They shouldn’t be back so early!
Fatty felt odd.
Ego shook his head and took out several darts from his pocket.
Fatty didn’t want to fall behind; he took out a handful of spell paper, which looked colorful and quite interesting.
Su Bai suddenly slowed down his breath and started trying to find that feeling. Gradually, he turned gloomy, two fangs grew out his lips and his palms were covered by frost.
Bad day for these sons of btches!
Fatty smiled. And just at that moment…
The door…
… opened.
Freeze! Police!
Police!
Freeze! Hands up!
Fatty was stunned and so was Ego. It was not those monks that went in but some cops in uniform.
Su Bai immediately stepped back and hid himself behind Fatty. He closed his eyes, put away his fangs and became totally normal.
Gentlemen, there must be some kind of misunderstanding… We’re…
Fatty tried to explain, but there was nothing he could say because now they looked even more like thieves than the real ones.
Besides, every one of them was holding something, thus making it look like they were caught with spoils. In fact, they were not scared of these cops, but the point was, the audiences of Dreadful Radio were restrained from many things in reality, including murder, lawbreaking and so on. As a result, although there were a large number of audiences, very few of them would do anything recklessly, and the society was able to stay stable. Fatty and Ego knew that if they killed these cops here, they might not be charged but they would certainly face more difficulties and danger in the next story.
The cops were frowning.
Who are you people? Where are the monks?
Just then, the elevator’s sound came from the outside and the monks walked out. Surprisingly, when they saw the cops standing in front of their room, their first reaction was not to flee but to come at them with a savage look.
Freeze!
Freeze!
The two cops immediately drew out their guns, but the monks were not afraid at all; they rushed to them, grabbed their guns and twisted them away. The cops couldn’t fire; due to the monks’ special identity, great dispute would be caused if they were hurt. As a result, the cops’ guns were taken away as soon as they engaged.
But these monks wouldn’t let them go. The monks were strong, so they pushed the cops down; there were Buddha beads around their fists, which were as hard as steel rims, and they fought violently. After a few hits, the cops almost passed out.
Another cop had already entered the room; now he also took out his gun. But there were two monks standing in the distance, they were not engaged in the fight and now they started to cast spells with something black in their hands like toads.
As soon as the cop pulled out his gun, he felt a strong pain in his stomach. Immediately, he dropped his gun and kneeled down. His face went pale; he was twitching, with white foams coming out of his mouth.
Fatty was a little confused:
Why are these cops so weak?
Ego said as if he was speaking from experience:
They don’t want too much trouble. Social relationship concerning monks is too sensitive and too difficult to handle.
The monks had taken care of the cops in a short time. They rushed in to pack their stuff for escape, only to find three more people in the room.
Who are you?
A monk asked in Mandarin.
While the other three held their black toads and were about to cast spells.
Your forebears!
Fatty threw out all his spell paper and stamped his foot:
In the name of the Taishang Laojun[2], I command you!
And the darts in Ego’s hands floated in the air and dashed at the monks.
Those cops were concerned about so many things that they were overwhelmed by those monks. But these three people were not afraid of anything, unlike those cops. Especially, the monks had just attacked the cops, and it would be a good thing to take them down.
The fight’s nature was different.
FOOTNOTES:
[1] Virgin urine: In traditional Chinese culture, urine of a virgin man was considered to have special effects and could harm the evils.
[2] Taishang Laojun: also translated as the Grand Supreme Elderly Lord. Taoist ancestor and one of the greatest lords in Taoism.
