Chapter 14: Alienation

Coming all the way alone, only care and trust in my loved ones has always supported me.
And this supporting force finally collapsed with the arrival of the truth.
In my mind, the once-immaculate glazed world had lost all its glory since the day of the big wedding; now it finally fell from the ninth day to the dust and turned into rubble. Since then, even if the palace is still the same, Huacai is not changed. The red flying drops and green water in my memory, the Ququ flowing water, Huafu clear talks ... no longer at the time.
Everything is different.
I have never cried so much in my life.
When I lost my grandmother, although I was sad, I didn't know that there was another kind of injury in the world, which made people feel heartbroken.
When fashion has children, there are still family members ... but now they have only a strange embrace.
That night, I don't remember what I said or what Xiao Yan said.
Just remember, I was crying like a child in his arms.
Curled up in his arms, his breath made me gradually quiet, never want to move again, don't want to open my eyes ...
When he woke up, it was early in the morning the next morning, Xiao Xun did not know when to leave quietly.
I was lying on the bed, still clutching him in the wind outside the captivity, no wonder I thought he was still there.
Suddenly, I felt empty, as if something was missing.
The maidservant waited for her meals, and I left them alone at the mercy of her, leaving her empty.
A little girl with round face and big eyes, holding the medicine bowl in both hands, kneeled halfway in front of the couch and presented the medicine.
This little girl is not as big as I was before my marriage.
I looked at her and couldn't bear it for a moment, raising my hand to make her stand up.
She buried her head very low and stood up carefully, but the tray was tilted, and the medicine bowl fell over, and the medicine spilled on my body.
The servants suddenly panicked, and hurriedly rushed up to pack up, screaming "Slave slaves."
The little girl couldn't help but scratch her head, so scared she couldn't speak.
"Get up." I looked helplessly and sighed, "I'm not ready to bathe."
Looking at these trembling nieces in front of her, thinking about her situation, she could not help but smile.
The same is a Shaoling woman. If others are like ants, and they strive to survive, why should I give up?
He never got out of bed after the injury. He was cleaned daily and never bathed for many days.
Fortunately, it is cold in the north. If it's hot, I'm afraid it will be even more difficult.
These days, I have never looked into the mirror carefully, I do not know what it looks like.
Even if my family forsakes me, others don't love me ... I still have to take good care of myself.
In the suffocation of water, I slightly lifted my head and smiled, letting my tears flow through.
No one will see my tears, only to see me smiling like a flower, just like after a big wedding-how I smiled that day, and today, I still go on smiling.
There is no hot spring orchid soup, citron agar, this simple wooden barrel, the boiling hot water, but it is also fresh and clean.
濯 cleansed the dirt, the four bodies are brisk, and the energy is refreshing.
When I saw the clothes presented by the maid, I suddenly laughed. Each piece is bright and gorgeous, but there is no one to wear.
"Who prepared this?" I picked up a Qian Qianmudan embroidered gold coat, and looked at the emerald bracelet in the tray, grinning, "Is it so good to sing? "
The little girl blushed, and hurried to kneel and plead guilty.
"Stop it." I raised my hand to stop her, too lazy to look at the pile of clothes again and again, "choose a plain set."
I turned around, wet hair, and slowly walked to the mirror.
The man in the mirror was covered in snow-white silk, with long hair scattered like black silk satin hanging from his shoulders.
Snow skin, clouds, and eyebrow trimming are the same as before, but my eyebrows are still my eyebrows, but my jaws are sharp and my face is paler than before.
However, these eyes, with the same deep pupil and long eyelashes, are clearly different.
It's different, but I can't say, I just feel that the dark eyes in the mirror, if there is water mist, will never see clear again.
I laughed, and the woman in the mirror smiled, but in my eyes, there was no smile at all.
"Prince, do you think this suits you?" The little girl took in her clothes and came in timidly.
When I looked back, I didn't feel the smile. She picked up the Qingqing wide-sleeved Luoyi, and the plain yarn was embarrassing.
"What's your name?" I looked at the little girl while dressing and changing.
She always looked down and didn't dare to look at me, "Slave name calls Yuxiu."
"How old is it?" I asked her lightly, picking up a jade hand to lift wet hair loosely.
"Fifteen." Her voice was as thin as a mosquito.
I held my hand and stared at her, and my heart felt as if I were fifteen years old, about the same size as I was then.
Looking closely at this girl, although not as good as Jin'er Yuxue, she is also pretty and smart.
Thinking of Jin'er, the sorrow that had just been suppressed came to my heart again ... Although he was the master and servant, he grew up together since he was a child. Now I'm in a state of self-care, as a floating cat, and I don't know where she wandered.
For a while, my heart was choked.
I walked in front of the window in silence, but I saw a bright light in the courtyard, and the sun shone through the shade of the trees.
It turned out that it was already late spring, and even summer was coming.
"This house is too stuffy, go out with me." I retired everyone, leaving only Yuxiu to follow.
Stepping out of the door, the wind was blowing, the sun was shining warmly on the body, the eaves were high in front of the pillars, and the trees were deep and clear, suddenly felt cheerful.
"Princess ... you add an outer robe, it's cold outside." Yuxiu hurried to catch up, holding the outer robe in his hands, his face worried.
I looked at her, moved in my heart, but only laughed, "At this time, how can I wear a robe?"
In the past years, I was most fond of summer. In Beijing, the heat was hot. Every spring and evening in May, the women in the palace put on light and elegant gauze. .
Yuxiu heard me talking about it, and her face was full of fascination.
Along the way, the courtyards and corridors I saw were mostly simple and simple, seemingly ordinary homes, but they were awe-inspiring, but they were a bit like government officials. "Is this the Wangye Mansion?" I asked Yuxiu back.
Yuxiu thought for a moment, nodded hesitantly, "Wang Ye is here on weekdays."
I nodded, and it became clear that I wanted to come to Xiao Yan, who had always used Guanyin as his residence, and had not built a separate house.
I heard that he came from a cold family and is very frugal. It seems to be true. If it were to be an elder brother, where would it stand?
I was curious for a while, and asked Yuxiu, "What does Wang Ye do often in the house?"
"Most of the time, Grandpa is outside, and often returns to the house, and he is often busy in the middle of the night." Yuxiu thought for a moment, "Yes, Grandpa often plays chess with General Song, and sometimes reads books and practices sword alone , Drinking ... nothing else. "
When Yu Xiu talked about Xiao Yan, his face was awed, and his words gradually grew.
I lowered my head and pursed my lips and laughed, only to think that the man was so old-fashioned that it was so boring all day long.
"Didn't there even a singer in the house?" I laughed casually, but the voice didn't fall, but I heard a woman's laughter come.
I stopped and raised my eyes, but saw a few women turning out under the front porch.
A few people saw me at first and were stunned in their places, only to see me faint.
At first, one person knelt down in haste, saying "the princess", and then everyone hurried to his knees.
I stared at it. At first, the two women were dressed as female relatives. One wore an apricot red narrow-sleeved shirt, with a pretty face, a slim figure, and a slight tremor in her hair. The other had a simpler dress, a younger age, and a more beautiful look .
This body is different from the ordinary waiter's dress, and I knew it at a glance.
My heart seemed to be pinched a bit, I couldn't speak for a while, but felt a tight throat.
Yes ... how did I forget this layer.
The woman in Xinghong's shirt rushed to me before she said, "Xinger, please treat the princess."
She said, raising her eyes to look at me, her eyes glanced over my hem, her head bowed, her ears ringed, and her brilliance turned.
This pair of earrings reminds me of the emerald bracelet, which is just the same thing.
Immediately, I suddenly understood who made those Huayan clothes for me.
"Xinger?" I said with a smile, "Has your living been done by you since the arrival of this palace?"
She raised her eyes slightly. "It's the slave's duty. I'm afraid that the people in the house are stupid and let the princess be wronged."
It's so clever, but the tone of a hostess talking to the guests-I was so surprised that I didn't laugh.
Seeing me smiling, she seemed bolder and looked up at me.
At first glance at my gaze, she was dumb, too late to hide her envy.
"It's a Peugeot girl." I bowed my head and smiled. "I'm missing a smart person around me. Come tomorrow and follow Yuxiu."
Xing'er had red ears and red ears, raised his head, and said hardly, "Back to Princess Wang, Xing'er was serving in the king's room."
I had turned around and looked back coldly, "Are you talking to this palace?"
Xinger froze, her shoulders trembled, and her cheeky face turned pale.
I frowned at Yuxiu, "Is there no rule in Wangfu?"
Yuxiu bowed, and Jian Shengsheng replied, "Return to the concubine, the rules of the house, the master asks, the slave can only answer; the master comes first, the slave can't look up directly; when the master returns to question, the slave must claim to ... ... "
The maidservants looked at each other on the ground, their bodies were lower and lower, almost touching the ground with their foreheads.
Xinger was full of anger, bowed his lips and shook his shoulders slightly.
Behind her, the Juanxiu woman bustled her head and said, "The slaves convicted him, and the slaves accidentally collided with the princess and begged her for forgiveness."
I glanced at her and said lightly, "This palace likes smart girls, and you will come together tomorrow."
Let them kneel and plead, I went straight away.
Turning around the corridor, where no one was, Yuxiu couldn't help laughing and screaming, "This is good, once the princess came, there was no more wanton by her!"
I stopped, and looked coldly, sinking my face suddenly.
Yuxiu touched my gaze, his body shrank, and he dared not to speak again.
I also closed my lips and said nothing, but my chest seemed to be blocked by a mass of ice.
This should have been thought long ago, no one has a few Ji Ji, not to mention a high-weight, lonely old man like him.
It is impossible to say that Gui is the prince, and even ordinary officials have three wives and four wives, not to mention that romantic wives are like my brother.
Before the elder brother married him, three pets were accompanied by him; when he entered the door, he brought in four dodgers; and two years later, he died of illness. Although he never married his wife again, he gradually accepted several beautiful women.
Your mother is a long princess. After marrying her father, she also allowed her to occupy a room ... Before I was born, the Han family had died. Since then, the father has not accepted and has a great affection for his mother.
Yes, these are all extraordinary ... But no matter how old my brother or father is, no matter how many men are in this world, these reasons can't calm down my emotions, and I can't tell the taste. Sad, or what.
Ever since I came here, when I met Xiao Yan, I have become less and less aware of myself.
Occasionally, I once thought that he was outside all the year round, and maybe there was another room—at that time, I just felt that what was happening to others was nothing to do with me.
He is just my husband-in-law, and an ally that my father used me as a bargaining chip.
At this point, I couldn't help laughing anymore, but my heart was stinging inexplicably.
I supported the porch with one hand and held my chest, and laughed loudly.
Yuxiu panicked and rushed to help me. "The slave said something wrong. Ask the princess to anger, don't be angry!"
"Who said I was angry." I shake off her hand, just smile, and start to cry.
"Prince, you are ..." Yuxiu was at a loss, crying.
Seeing her anxious expression, it seemed that she was really worried and scared for me, and it made me feel inexplicable.
I leaned on the porch and looked around blankly-here was my husband, my palace, and many servants, all responding, but only this little girl really cared about my mood.
Looking forward to the future, the more I look strange, the more I suddenly want to go home.
But where is my home ... Beijing, Huizhou, or here?
For a time, my heart was desolate and cold.
Suddenly I bowed my head, covered my face, and tried to hold back my heart, letting Yuxiu call me without raising my head.
When she suddenly pulled my sleeve, she knelt straight down behind me.
I turned around and saw at the end of the corridor, Xiao Yan stood up with his hands behind him, and a few generals behind him awkwardly aside.
Watching him stride forward, I was stunned for a while, and was too late to wipe away the tears.
He wasn't wearing a suit, but he only wore a broad-sleeved black robe with a high crown and hair, which became even more solemn.
"How are you here?" He frowned, but his voice was soft. "It's cold in the north, so beware of the cold."
Listening to his verbal concern, my heart became more tingling, and I turned my head indifferently.
He frowned at me for a moment and was relatively speechless.
The wind was blowing outside the court, blowing my belt and blowing, and the clothes were cold.
He looked at me deeply and seemed to have something to say, but he was speechless.
I smiled slightly and turned away.
Back in the room, it was a bit cold, and I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead, only feeling a headache.
I wanted to take a short nap, closed my eyes, but didn't feel sleepy. I was passing Xiao Xiao's figure in front of me, and I was like my parents.
Suddenly I thought of my aunt, and thought of her, saying that I would have nothing without the protection of the family.
Today's situation is really lost in the protection of the family, wandering alone, glory and disgrace, and even life and death are in the hands of one person.
Since when I have ceased to be the spoiled lord of thousands, I am no longer the capricious little daughter of my parents, no longer the grandma who is always held in the palm by the quilt ... these have been forever No longer.
The day I stepped into Xitang and became the princess of Yuzhang, I was destined to stand by this man all my life, bear his last name, and be taken together by him into the unknowable future.
The frontier has long winds, and the desert is cold and cold. In this wasteland, all I have is this man.
If he wants, he might support a whole new world for me.
If he walks away, will my whole world collapse again in an instant?
On the pillow, tears slipped into the corners.
In this world, even parents and relatives will turn away, and who will never leave.
He lingered in his ears last night, and could not forget he said, "From now on, you are my princess and the woman who has gone with me in this life. I will not allow you to be cowardly."
If I can, I would like to believe in this life in his mouth ... this life is still so long.
During this life, it turned out that it was not only me and him, but also such unrelated people and things.
Irrelevant, I thought it was irrelevant.
Until the living woman stood in front of me, his servant, his woman ... how could it be irrelevant.
There was a faint voice coming from outside, which made me more upset.
"Who's making a noise?" I sat up and frowned.
Yuxiu bustled back and said, "It was Madam Lu who led Xinger and Yuzhu, waiting for the princess."
I sank my face for the first time and said harshly to the subordinates, "Are there any rules in this palace?
The servants knelt on the ground in a hurry, and Sherwin didn't dare to talk back. Yuxiu said timidly. Slaves ... Slaves dare not stop. "
Here is another Mrs. Wu. I am full of annoyance and turn into an unknown fire. I also want to see how many extravagant slaves are here, so that I will not take my imaginary princess in my eyes.
"Tell me, let the noisy person just kneel before the court." I lifted the curtains and changed my clothes.