I had never seen him, but I knew Lucretius was an expert swordsman. You could tell he worked out. His body was hard and muscular.
I knew this very well. This wasn’t the first time I was on top of him.
…
W, what should I do?
I felt my face burning.
His chest was muscular, which meant it was soft and hard at the same time. It was warm too.
When I stared down at him in shock, Lucretius looked up at me weakly.
If you wanted to give me an answer, you could have just said it. You didn’t have to show me with your body.
Bo, body?!
NOOOO!!
I was about to explode from embarrassment.
He grinned.
Why are you so red? What are you thinking about?
…
I stood up quickly and awkwardly sat down on the carpet. He slowly sat up as well.
Lucretius laughed softly.
Your answer is so creative. It’s so unexpected that I forgot I was angry.
T… I… I mean…
I became speechless again. After a short hesitation, I finally was able to form proper words.
I… I’m sorry.
I kept glancing at him as if I was a child in trouble.
Lucretius lost his smile and asked me coldly.
What are you sorry about?
Um, I mean…
Why did you grab me?
I couldn’t think clearly.
He asked me if I really meant to return home and I didn’t give him an answer. When I remained silent, he took it as a yes and was about to leave.
I stopped him.
Why? What did I want?
There was no doubt I wanted to go back home. It was my home. I grew up there for 19 years. I missed everyone and everything about it.
I also couldn’t trust him. I was afraid his feelings for me would be temporary. I feared he would lose interest in me and I would become just one of his many women.
That was why I tried to get Yulia for him. I couldn’t trust his feelings, so I wanted them to be for someone else.
I knew I wasn’t making any sense.
I had to tell him the truth. I needed to tell him that yes, I planned to go back home if possible.
However, I couldn’t.
Why couldn’t I?
Lucretius reached out to push my messy hair out of the way. I looked into his eyes. They were beautifully green like a calm ocean. I felt like I was a small paper boat on it, waiting for a storm to destroy me.
He was truly like a sea. He could be cruel and moody. I couldn’t understand him a lot of the times. He could be violent. He could hurt me.
What I was afraid of was how he made me feel.
Lucretius smiled and touched my lips. My shoulder trembled lightly.
I told you already several times. I want you.
…
I tried my best to think of something. I opened my lips and tried to escape this situation again.
You need a wife. You need a capable empress who can rule alongside you. Soon, your harem will be filled with princesses and ladies from all over the world. I just don’t want to be one of them.
He frowned.
I don’t need any woman other than you.
I yelled at him,
I can’t be an empress! I am not worthy!
Why do you think I gave you the royal family name, Sa Bina le Cransia? You can’t tell me you didn’t know what that meant. You are smarter than that.
… I haven’t accepted it yet, besides… I won’t tolerate any other wives or concubines. In my world, a man cannot have more than one woman!
Lucretius smiled smoothly and replied,
As I said, you are the only one for me. I don’t need any other woman.
But you need them for political reasons! I don’t have a powerful family that can be of help to you.
He smiled confidently and annoyingly.
I am strong enough to rule without anyone’s help. You are worth it.
I couldn’t understand him. How was I worth it?
He continued,
I believe in you and your capability. You will make a great empress. As for a powerful family… Didn’t I tell you a wife from a powerful family would be a burden to me? Have you forgotten the dowager empress?
…
He had answers for my every excuse.
He was telling the truth. If he had a wife with a strong family, he believed she would fight for the ultimate power after they defeated the dowager empress together. Lucretius thought there may come a time when he may have to do something cruel to such a wife, just like his father did to his birth mother Empress Beatrice.
I knew he was capable of cruelty. Considering this, it was true that my lack of powerful family could be a positive thing for him.
On top of that, it seemed that he truly believed I could make a good empress.
He continued,
You are like a miracle to me. At first, I thought you would be perfect for me in terms of just your situation and abilities.
And now?
Now, you fulfill my emotional needs too. You are the perfect woman for me. The only one. You are my miracle.
… it can’t be.
My heart was beating fast. I felt like I was about to have a heart attack.
I knew he meant what he said. Most of all…
…
No! I had to be logical. I couldn’t fall for him. This was not my world. I had to return to my own world.
I shook my head. I felt like I was being strangled. He saw my expression and must have realized what I was thinking.
He murmured bitterly,
You always try to run away, but not today. I am going to say it and you are going to hear it.
Luc!
I didn’t want to hear it. I couldn’t hear it. He shouldn’t say it!
I already knew. He has never actually said it out loud, but it was clear.
I was… falling for him. I couldn’t help it.
Besides, would I really be able to return home? Would the priestess even believe me when I told her I was from a different world?
If someone told me there was a different world when I was still in Korea, I would have laughed at that person.
My home was so far away and unreachable, but this man in front of me was finding his place in my heart.
I was getting used to Lucretius like I breathed air.
That was why I was scared. The feeling I had for him was… I didn’t want to think about it. If I acknowledged the fact that I could really have this man in front of me… The thought alone scared me like hell.
I begged him.
Stop! Stop it, Luc! Please!
However, this time, he wouldn’t listen to me. This was our relationship. He had all the power. We weren’t equals.
When I shook my head, he stopped it with both of his hands. He held my face gently but firmly. I felt like crying.
He made me look at his eyes. I had no way to escape anymore.
He looked into my eyes and whispered.
I love you.
