Chapter 111: 】

Many times in Shen Yan's life, others made decisions for him, decided his origin, decided his whereabouts, and decided his life. At that time, he often accepted silently, and alone took the damage caused by these decisions.
Recently, he discovered that he needs to make some vital decisions in his life.
He thinks about the "future" more actively and proactively than before.
Not because he is more selfish, but because he is no longer alone-what he puts in his palm is the "future" of two people, and he has more weight than anything.
Even within a few hours of his mother's surgery, such thinking never stopped.
In other words, at such a critical turning point for surgery, it is easier for a person to sit down and think about what they are after.
The red warning light on the "operation in progress" on the wall gives a sense of oppression and depression. Many people are emotionally disturbed because they can't stand such pressure, but he is calmly surprised. During the three-hour operation, he did not get up from the seat once, nor did Qi Qi, and accompanied him by his side, clenching his hands quietly.
—Is my hand shaking?
--No.
Repeat this dialogue.
Whether it makes sense or not, Qi Qi's answer is true or false ... it doesn't matter. As long as there is someone around him who is listening and responding, he will be at peace.
The woman's surgery ended smoothly as expected. Because it is a benign tumor and it is discovered early, the excision is relatively clean, and the later stage of drug conditioning is the top priority.
After the operation, the woman was transferred to a special intensive care unit on the day and was nursed to prevent infection and intracranial hemorrhage. After returning to the general ward after a day and night, the indicators were normal. During this period, Shen Yan handled some chores in the hospital, and at the same time prepared various supplements needed for postoperative recovery.
Qi Qi silently helped.
Of course, it is still in the name of "friends".
"December 3, cage No. 2, the Chinese Rural Dog, about three or four months old. The little guy was taken to the hospital because he was hit by a car, the internal organs were damaged, and there was a lot of internal bleeding. Now it has been almost two weeks since the operation. The various functions of the body have gradually recovered, but it still needs to be observed for a while. The little guy had a bad appetite because of the anesthetics in the early period. Recently, the nurse has given him all the nutritious meals he can eat ... "
Qi Qi likes to sit by the hospital bed, holding a diary, and slowly read the diary for animal treatment written by Shen Yan in the hospital.
On the one hand, he likes to read the content. On the other hand, for a person who is in the recovery period of brain tumor surgery, listen to several stories about "slow recovery" recorded by his son ... It's suitable.
"You read so well and have the temperament of a professional broadcaster." After Qi Chen finished reading, the woman raised her head and smiled at him, "and the voice is nice."
"Thank you." Qi Qi closed her diary and smiled humbly at her.
Qi Qi's storytelling time is also the most pleasant time of a woman's day, not only because Shen Yan is writing the diary, but also because the process of healing the small animal sounds warm, and her own mood has changed a lot. Qi Zi was injured, and accompanied Shen Yan to visit her every day. She couldn't do the work that needed to be done. She encouraged her in this way. She was actually very touched.
"So let's say ... the narrator in that episode is also Xiao Qi," the woman watched his recorded DVD on his laptop. "Are you good at this?"
"Haha, because I usually need to work." Moreover, I often voice.
"Not the same," the woman shook her head gently. "The commentators of some programs sounded like they didn't have any emotions at all. It was very rigid, but you can make people feel that you put emotions in it-you really care about those little animals. Well, you can see that you have a kind heart. "
Kind hearted.
Qi Qi heard the word and couldn't help but smile slightly bitterly in the bottom of her heart.
If you know that such a "good-hearted" person is a comrade and has more than a friend's feelings for your son, would you still think so-of course, he can't ask for this sentence.
"I'm sorry, I should go to the clinic to remove the plaster, and I will come back in a while." When I got into the throat, I was silently pressed back. Qi Xiao smiled at the woman in a gentle and polite manner, and got up to say goodbye.
During the woman's recuperation, his own X-ray examination results and follow-up report also came out. The doctor believes that his left hand has basically returned to the level before the car accident, and the hardware can be removed. Anyway, I was staying in the hospital every day, so I had an appointment and went to the next building to remove the gypsum tube and sling today.
Shen Yan was quietly cutting the apples for the woman at the table. Hearing this, he looked at him and then nodded when he retracted his eyes.
When Qi Qi heard a woman praise him, she would talk about the topic or make excuses to go out for a while.
The woman actually noticed.
It's just that she thinks Qi Qi's temperament is humble, and someone will praise him for being embarrassed. Shen Yan knew that the reason was not here.
"Xiao Qi, he really has a good heart, this is what I have experienced."
After Qi Qi left, the woman repeated the assessment quietly.
Shen Yan kept silent, and the knife in his hand still gently cut around the apple. The language between the two people was still as if the apple peel cut under the knife extended one inch by one inch.
He foresaw that there should be a sentence behind the woman.
Sure enough, she muttered to herself: "It's really nice that you have such a friend ..."
"Mom," at this time, Shen Yan stopped his hand and slowly corrected it, "He is not my 'friend'."
This sentence seems to have pressed a pause button. The sound in the ward came to an abrupt halt, quietly for four weeks.
Shen Yan waited silently for a few seconds.
Did not wait for any response. So he lowered his eyelids slightly, again focusing his attention on the knife and the half-finished apple in his hand, and continued to cut.
The blade is very sharp, and the peeling process needs to be very careful not to cut off the long skin.
However, he did not want to withdraw his knife halfway—
"He is not my friend," Shen Yan said in a low, firm voice, and repeated it slowly. "You didn't ask me immediately, I think ... you should have felt it, just subconsciously don't want to prove it."
no respond.
Shen Yan's eyes did not lift, and the knife in his hand continued to move forward, cutting out a coherent and even strap, which showed that the knife held firmly. Although the voice is not as stable as the knife: "He does n’t want me to confess to you because he feels that he knows these things ... it may make you sad and even angry. If he broke the relationship we just repaired, he Will blame himself to death. "
Still no response.
"But I think that there is no way to tell others, no way to make it public, and in the end only one person can bear the painful feelings silently ... very similar to your feelings for dad."
Shen Yan stopped here, his voice was mute, low and heavy.
"You who have experienced these, even more than I ... should feel his feelings at this moment, right?"
The blade reached the end. His hand holding the knife was slightly taut, watching the piece of apple peel that was connected from beginning to end falling, as if telling a story with a beginning and an end.
Their stories will have their beginnings and ends, and will not break in the middle.
They will also stick to the end--
"Mom, I want to give someone I like a place and want to accept him as my family." Even if I inherited the same surname, I would not embark on the same path. He raised his head and looked straight, "I, will never be my father."
"I am back."
Qi Qiren didn't arrive, the voice came first, and he smiled and said hello before entering the door.
The process of demolishing the plaster is actually very short, but the queue time is relatively long, and it has been about an hour before he returns. But when he stepped into the door, he found that the two people in the ward were still in their original positions.
The woman still sat motionless on the head of the bed, her eyes low.
Shen Yan still cuts the apple silently-it was just a new apple, Qi Qi noticed that there was still a peeled one in the fruit tray on the table, but I did n’t know why no one ate it, and obviously it was already After a while, the surface turned dark brown.
Qi Qi stunned when he noticed this detail. The intuition was not right, and he subconsciously blurted out: "What's wrong?"
Shen Yan raised his head when he heard that, and smiled at him gently as usual: "Nothing — it's hard to remove the plaster, what did the doctor say?"
It seems to be no different than usual. Qi Qi observed Shen Yan ’s expression and could n’t see anything unnatural. Perhaps he was more conscious, so he smiled and raised his left hand to restore freedom:
The doctor said that I can use my left hand now, but it ’s not recommended to be violent. Exercise, normal exercise is no problem. "
Shen Yanjing looked at him quietly for a while, his eyes very soft, and said softly: "That's good ... Sit down, wait for me to cut this apple, everyone will share it and eat."
Since he mentioned apples, Qi Qi took the topic involuntarily: "Oh, why don't you just eat the sharpened one on the table? It has been oxidized for so long."
Shen Yan's answer does not seem to be saying the same thing at all: "It's okay, it's past."
Let's just say, throw the discolored apple.
What does it matter?
auzw.com What has passed?
Qi Xiao also looked at him in a daze, he had already cut the apple, and cut a small piece with a knife, and handed it up smoothly: "Come, try."
Shen Yan often does this at home.
Qi Qi didn't even think about it, and bent down conditionedly, holding it gently.
"Well……"
At this moment, he suddenly recovered, realizing that he was not at home, but in the ward, swallowing down Apple in a hurry in shock, almost choking. When he finished eating in awkwardness as if to wipe out the crime, Yu Guang couldn't help but quietly look at the woman's face, hoping she didn't notice.
The woman noticed.
Not only did he notice, but he kept looking at himself immobile. Qi Chen only realized that her eyes seemed a little red, but she was still calm. When Qi Qi naturally saw the apple that Shen Yan sent to him, her eyes blinked, and then the two eyes met together. She first lowered her head and silently looked at the ten fingers she had twisted, and finally her hands Finally he gradually loosened and looked up and smiled dryly.
"Great," she said, "your hand is healed."
"Ah ..." Qi Qun didn't recover for a while, and he smiled quickly after the reaction. "Yeah, thank you for your concern."
"As a celebration, dinner is worse than eating out." The woman said again.
This is the first time a woman has offered to eat outside.
In her life, she is used to living with diligence and trembling, evading the colored eyes of the society, growing up in the shadows like a flower with a yin and yin alone. When she used to raise Shen Yan in the past, she always closed the door by herself and her children to eat. Would like to appear outside with my son for people to see, but now it turned away.
And the expression was very serene-Qi Qi looked at her in surprise.
"Okay." Qi Chen hasn't answered yet, but Shen Yan responded slowly for him. The woman nodded lightly.
"Xiao Qi also went?"
"Well, I'm going." Of course Qi Qi had no reason to refuse.
During the conversation, the taste of the apple that had just been eaten had not completely dissipated. After a slight sour taste, a light sweetness slowly oozed in the mouth.
Qi Chen didn't know why she was suddenly in a trance.
Is it because the plaster was removed?
The heavy feeling on his shoulders seemed to have disappeared and was empty-he thought, he roughly understood the feeling of "escape" that Shen Yan had said before.
"It's so strange today." After thinking about it for a while, I couldn't help speaking.
Shen Yan heard the words and gently turned to look at Qi Qi.
It was nearly ten o'clock when the two returned to the old city. The north wind was strong. The old-fashioned teahouses in the nearby streets closed early. Only the signboard was still ups and downs in the wind, and the residents were shaking. By now, I should have been so dark that I could n’t look at anything carefully, but it happened that a full moon hung quietly among the treetops, silver everywhere, as if they had walked into a black and white print.
In the painting, the emotions on the face are written in the moonlight. Shen Yan also wants to read the emotions of the person around him.
Qi Chen has been thinking thoughtfully since getting off the car, and hasn't opened the talk box along the way. Shen Yan then accompanied him silently, observing his look. While walking across a narrow alley, Qi Zi suddenly came up with such a headless word.
And this sentence has a follow-up: "I think that aunt today is not the same as usual."
Shen Yan asked in a low voice: "What's different?"
Qi Qi raised her head and smiled at the moon on the branch with some confusion, seeming to be laughing at her so-called unintentional speech: "I can't say for sure ... I just think that my aunt pays special attention to me today, staring at me from time to time. For half a day, I just sandwiched several dishes for me when I was eating. She is not the kind of person who is good at telling beautiful things. Will she thank me in this form before she is discharged? "
"Perhaps." Shen Yan replied softly after a while, even though he knew the reasons were different.
"Right? I thought about it for a long time, and I can only think of this aspect." Qi Qiao looked confused, but very happy. It is estimated that this reason had already satisfied him.
At this time, Shen Yan stopped slowly, standing still, watching Qi Qi continue to move forward.
"But it feels pretty good, doesn't it?" He asked.
Hearing the other person ’s voice from behind rather than from the side, Qi Qi froze for a moment, then turned around and found that Shen Yan stopped a few meters behind, and when he turned around, he could n’t help laughing when he saw it:
How come you stopped silently? Down? "
"It feels good, isn't it?" Shen Yan just repeated the question again and again.
"Ok……"
Qi Qi admitted.
Although I don't know the reason, it feels good and true.
When Shen Yan heard his answer, he suddenly smiled lightly. Obviously it is a smile, but it shows a kind of melancholy in the obscure moonlight.
He smiled for a while, buried his hands in the pocket of his jacket, stood in a calm and calm posture, and looked at the Qi Qi in the middle of the alley for a long time. In front of me is where I grew up. Every street, every lane, and even every fence are very kind. The grandpa ’s former residence is not far away. The wind and rain are sunny, and the spring, summer, autumn and winter have not changed anything. .
He is familiar with and cherishes everything.
However, it is the most complete when there is that person's figure in this picture.
From the rainy day he brought that person here, everything here has a new meaning. Different from grandpa, he is equally precious--
"Not as terrible as you think, right?" The low words were sent by the wind across the quiet alley and reached the other person's ears. Qi Qi suddenly shivered.
"What are you talking about, I don't understand."
In fact Qi Qi thought of a possibility. However, that possibility made his heart spasm, and he dared not continue to think about it. He was willing to be an ignorant fool, and hoped that Shen Yan would deny it in the next sentence.
But Shen Yan's next sentence is not negative, but affirmative.
"You should guess what I am talking about."
Qi hum buzzed in his head, as if all characters were blank after the program was uninstalled, and no operation was possible. The psychological reaction couldn't keep up. The physiological reaction had already taken a step ahead. There was no consciousness in the whole body. As if it were paralysis, the two lines of tears came out without warning, and they fell to the ground one after another.
"Woo ..."
Hearing his own choked voice was when Shen Yan walked to the front.
Unable to bear the first sound, the latter could not hold back any more. When Shen Yan held out his hand to support his shoulders, he finally couldn't close his eyes and let the tears flow down violently.
"Why, why ..." I hadn't been so scared even when I came out, but now I was trembling, and the voice of the question was shaking.
"Sorry."
Shen Yan opened his arms and rubbed the man tightly into his arms, apologizing. Just because the truth is concealed, not because I regret my choice.
Qi He was hugged hard by him, but instead of crying for a while, he only gritted his teeth and looked at the tears, wetting Shen Yan ’s collar. The right hand subconsciously raised, and for a moment I really wanted to punch the man in front of me, but I couldn't even blame it-I knew that I was the reason for the other person's opening, how could it be done?
"Why are you so stupid ..." Qi Qin asked intermittently on his chest, his throat dumb.
"Because you are not reconciled." Shen Yan smiled silently, buried half of her face in Qi Qi's hair, and kissed his cold ear.
"Unwilling ...?"
"Yes, not reconciled," Shen Yan whispered in his ear, "Because you sacrificed your future without saying anything, and decided to stay with me, so I am not reconciled ... So I also decided to cut and play once, like this We are even. "
Qi Qi breathed a stagnation and stunned: "You, how do you know?"
Shen Yan smiled and did not answer.
After the shock, Qi Zi gradually recovered, but her heart was still swayed by the impact force just now, and her knees were a little soft, leaning on Shen Yan only barely stood still.
"What is even ... you idiot." After the severe pain, there was a faint sigh of pain.
He grasped Shen Yan's back with both hands and crumpled the fabric of Shen Yan's coat. And Shen Yan just kissed his forehead patiently and quietly, until those choking voices completely subsided in his arms: "Qi Qi, do you remember what I said, I want you to be my family?"
"Ok……"
"Do you know what it means to be a family?" He asked again.
Qi Qi didn't make a sound, his hands clasped more firmly on his back. The choked throat stopped, but the tears hitting his clothes were not yet there. Shen Yan sighed softly.
"Becoming a family means that where you are, your home is where you are." He whispered, "Qi Qi, you are already my family."