Chapter 36: (One more)

I hope your voice will be heard by more people.
This is not the first time someone has heard this.
However, there is only one Qi Shen to say so to the "Shen Yan" in reality.
The diary in his hand is not any script, and he is not playing any role. The original is originally what he wrote spontaneously, uncovered, the most real him.
Even so ... Qi Qi still expressed such expectation to him.
The voice stopped for a moment, not to say nothing, but the vocal cords suddenly lost all their strength. Choking in general.
Shen Yan's palm was gently held where Qi Chi's fingertips were scratched.
Afterwards, the hands gradually closed, tightening and tightening.
Perhaps because it felt funny to hold only one finger, and Shen Yan even felt a little pain when he used force, Qi Zi couldn't help but frowned and smiled at him.
He was about to speak, but his smile stopped momentarily when the eyes of the two met.
Back to the light of the floor lamp, the look on Shen Yan's face could not be seen clearly. He only knew that his eyebrows were drooping very low, as if he seemed to restrain something faintly. None of those eyes were half bright, dark and deep, like a sea where the sun couldn't enter, so deep that it couldn't see the bottom, it virtually prevented people who wanted to jump down.
"What's the matter?" Qi Chen froze for a moment, and then recovered, his index finger slowly scratched in his palm, and he hung a light smile again.
Shen Yanming said nothing, but he could observe the subtle changes in the other party's emotions.
And it's not a good change.
"Shen Yan?" Inexplicably worried, Qi Qi whispered again, raising her shoulders to get up. At this time, Shen Yan finally responded, silently pressing him to stay on the pillow.
"Okay, read here tonight. You should go to sleep." Shen Yan closed her diary and leaned down to whisper.
At this time the angle was slightly changed, and the light was able to take advantage of it to illuminate half of his face-there was nothing strange about it, it was still gentle and quiet. The black in his eyes floated above the sea from the bottom of the sea. At this time, there seemed to be a star or two of starlight, which seemed not so dim.
It's too late now, even if he is nostalgic for his voice, it can't be at the expense of his normal rest time.
Qi Xiao nodded and smiled, "Well, I will read it again tomorrow."
Shen Yan put down the diary silently and rested on his pillow. He didn't get up and left immediately, but looked at Qi Qi quietly for a long time. The clenched hands were slightly released to separate each other's temperature.
"Go to sleep, I will turn off the lights for you." Shen Yan whispered softly.
He got up from the bed and walked over to the floor lamp to press the switch. The bedroom fell into darkness, but the light from the living room was vaguely visible through the entrance. Qi Xiao narrowed her eyes and adjusted for a few seconds. When she opened it again, she could see the silhouette of the opponent standing under the wall for a long time.
It seems that it does not want to leave.
In fact, Qi Chen did not want him to leave. In addition to wanting to listen to Shen Yannian ’s diary, what ’s more important is to get more time together.
Although they still have a long way to go, today, the person he misses is no longer a photo in the archive of the mobile phone or the image in the memory, which can be heard and touched, and gave him a real hug-warmth It was so addictive, so he demanded greedily like an addict.
I had too much bitterness some time ago, and my desire for sweetness became stronger.
"What's wrong, don't you want to go?" The best way to cover up your mind is to ask the other person jokingly.
Shen Yan did not answer or move.
"Otherwise, we can sleep together. The bed is very spacious anyway." Qi Qin squinted slightly like a lazy cat, deliberately teasing him so deliberately. Qi Qi has a bad habit, and even knowing that the other party has been questioned by him, she can't help but ridicule again. Anyway, this sentence Shen Yan certainly can not answer.
As expected, Shen Yan did not respond.
This joke seems to be a bit big. Qi Xiao laughed "wah" and took the initiative to help him out: "Just kidding. Go and rest, good night."
At this time, Shen Yan took a step from the shadows and slowly walked back to the bed.
Qi Qi thought he was just coming back to say good night. If he did n’t suddenly lean down and put his hands on the sides of the pillow—
When he felt the pillow sinking down, Qi Qi lifted her body up in shock and took a short breath.
Very light, if the other party is not in close proximity, it should be completely inaudible.
But Shen Yan is too close to him, and the contour line on his face can clearly appear even in the absence of light, and the distance is also shortened by one inch, until the breath can be passed directly between the two, the breath blow Itchy skin, even the temperature is still there.
Qi Zi lay back subconsciously, his knees bent, and the whole person slightly retracted backwards. The pillow was recessed deeper, and the two arms remained immobile.
It was dark all around.
The light had gone out, he was lying on the bed, and the man's hands in front of him were pressing right and left on the sides of his neck, a situation where there was nowhere to escape.
"Shen Yan ..." In amazement, he called the man's name dryly, his eyes dared not blink.
The person in the body seemed to hear, but it didn't seem to hear, but just didn't move.
"Shen Yan ..." Realizing that the other party might have taken their own joke seriously, Qi Zi finally panicked and shuddered, "I just laughed."
Rather than being shy, it is better to say that fear prevails.
Everyone is an adult and an adult man. To say that I have never thought about what will happen under the same roof, it must be fake. However, in the case of a broken arm, I lay together on the first night, and may even have other movements. It is ... a little bit beyond expectations and I cannot accept it naturally.
Seeing that he had no movement, Qi Qi couldn't help but draw a hand from the quilt and gently pushed him.
The finger rested on Shen Yan's chest, a clear gesture of resistance. It may be that due to excessive tension, the hand could not stop shaking slightly.
The man in the body finally moved a moment, breathing for a while, Qi Qi could not hear any breath from him.
Then the strength in his hand was loosened, and the things he had supported suddenly disappeared, and he could only make a blocky movement in the air-it turned out that the chest had receded.
"I know," the low voice came from the dark, with a bit of a wry smile, "I know you are laughing ... Don't be afraid, don't be afraid of me."
With that said, the hand that pressed on the pillow moved away, and one of them turned around and gently touched the hair on the side of the hairline, without a strand or two of hair, touching, combing, and comforted carefully.
Qi Qi's hand stayed in the same place for a while, and finally let go.
auzw.com "Good night." Seeing his hand back to the bed, Shen Yan lowered his eyes slightly and said farewell. The smile is pale.
The first time was not to say good night to each other across the network cable, it should have been a very warm memory, but he brought flaws to this memory.
With both hands completely released, Qi Qi can lie down in peace, stepping back two steps, and standing for a few seconds at a distance that makes the other person feel safe. Then he walked a long way in front of the bed and chose the route furthest from the bed to the door.
Shen Yan left the bedroom and closed the door gently. Hearing that the door lock
clicked
, he released his hand from the door handle somewhat blankly, holding his forehead.
In fact, he just didn't mean to force Qi Zi.
Not even Qi Qi mentioned, really lie down. Because he promised that he would wait until Qi Qi nodded.
Nonetheless, after hearing Qi Qi ’s words encouraging him, his heart was touched, and he was teased again and again, and when he parted, he suddenly had the idea of ​​kissing him—just want to kiss his forehead, just This is it.
However, it turned out that breaking promises wouldn't work ... he almost irritated him, didn't he?
After thinking about it, I was afraid, and my fingers started to get cold.
Shen Yan shook his head silently, calmed down, turned off the light in the living room and returned to the study. He sat on the seat for another quarter of an hour and finally fell asleep with Yiyi.
The study bed was narrow and there was not much room to turn over. He lay quietly on his back, staring at a blank ceiling.
At the moment of utter silence, the street lamp in the distance became the only light source in the middle of the night, sending a little hidden light through the wall-unfortunately this could not prevent the white of the ceiling from being dyed gray by the night.
Gray is the color of dreams, because the memories are black and white, and the fragments of the memories are intertwined and become gray.
Many people's dreams are composed of memories.
When he didn't know when to fall asleep, that dream came.
Long-lost dream. In the dream, he escaped invisible, just a simple photographic lens, framing everything he saw in front of him, including the rental house enclosed in the depths of memory.
The iron door was rusted and closed tightly all day.
This door can only be opened once in the morning, in the middle and in the evening.
The inverted "Fu" sticker affixed to the door was bought at random on the floor during the New Year. The workmanship was rough. In summer, it began to fade. It looked torn and old. The edges of the tape had been peeled off on the iron plate. Roll up.
The tape was applied by him. At that time, I was too young. I didn't know how to make it symmetrical and beautiful. I sat on the ground for a long time and stuck it to the left and right. But the person who posted the word Fu on the door was not him. It was the woman who was looking at him with the tape in front of him. At the beginning, he smiled slightly, until he got up and wanted to go out with her to go to the sticker, the smile disappeared.
"Shen Yan," the woman squatted again, her index finger resting on her lips, and made a "shush" gesture, "Don't talk, don't make a noise."
He looked at the woman's serious expression, nodded, and sat back to silently grab the remaining tape to play.
The woman didn't move, and continued: "Go back to the room and play, or someone will see you when you open the door."
He nodded again, packed the tape and small scissors on the ground, put it in a plastic box, hugged it back to the bedroom, and did not forget to take the door slowly.
The rented one-bedroom and one-bedroom furniture are few and very simple, but the days of rough tea and light rice are just fine.
The woman did n’t send him to kindergarten. He got up every day and hurriedly prepared breakfast for two people. He had no time to watch him go out to work after eating. He would go home for an hour and a half at noon lunch. Return.
When the woman was away, he knew how to find the building blocks in the cabinet, pinch the plasticine, or look for the villain book that the woman bought him. Although she did not go to kindergarten, she would teach him to read and read in the evening. After a long time, he would read it by himself. Through these, he spent the long morning and afternoon.
The phone at home rarely rang, but sometimes it kept ringing. At that time, the woman would sit aside and stare at the phone, but refused to answer it.
Even after receiving it, the woman would tell him before mentioning the microphone: "Shen Yan, don't talk, don't make a sound."
He nodded gently, and came to the corner of the wall to read his storybook obediently.
Don't talk, don't say anything.
This is what women always teach him. Once used to this hint, even if a woman sits on a chair and weeps after listening to the phone, he can only watch it quietly.
Because he knows that if she speaks without permission, the woman will hit his palm hard with a ruler, and he will not cry if it hurts.
I cried once before, probably I couldn't hold my cry, and I was accidentally heard by the neighbor next door. Later, the couple next door packed some hand-made dumplings during the Dragon Boat Festival, and planned to distribute it to the neighbors. When it was their turn, the woman told him to hide back in the room and collect all the children ’s toys in the living room Ok, this is the door.
He was sitting alone behind the door, motionless, listening to the woman at the gate and the couple greeting each other, chatting, trying not to make any sound.
"Right, does your family have children?" Suddenly, the lady asked curiously.
"No, I'm single." The woman replied very briefly, but there was a hint of fear in her voice.
"Same thing, you are still so young." The wife flattered.
"Huh, but I used to hear that there are children crying on your side. Isn't it your room, other residents?" The gentleman also answered with a smile. But his tone was very leisurely, and did not really mean to her.
"Maybe you heard it wrong." The woman smiled hard.
This accident made him encounter the most terrible beating since the sensible.
Covered her mouth with a towel so as not to cry out again to hear the neighborhood neighbors, and then pumped hard with the feather duster rod, the skin was broken, and the blood kept flowing down.
"No crying, no voices! Almost debunked by neighbors today, you know!" The woman lowered her voice and scolded him.
He bit the towel tightly, unable to struggle, and only nodded in tears.
"Is this the same in the future!" The woman asked hoarsely.
He shook his head weakly. There was no sound from the beginning to the end, even if he took off the towel, he only choked very quietly.
The woman was probably exhausted. She sat down on the bed and collapsed half of her body. Her eyes looked at him faintly, and her half of her makeup looked like a lonely ghost, very sad. He climbed up from the ground by himself, and came to her limp with pain, burying his head in the bedding and crying enough, and the tears on his face were wiped off. The woman threw away the feather duster, hugged him into her arms, and then choked.
"Shen Yan ... you have to forgive your mother." The woman repeats it over and over like a playback machine. "If you are found, it's not good for anyone. Do you know?"
His face was blank, and he lay prostrate in her arms, immobile.
"In short, remember, don't talk, don't let them hear you." The woman's broken thoughts sounded in his ears like a spell.
Just don't talk, understand.
And no one would listen to what he wanted to say—