Chapter 74: : Waiting before dawn

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Lu Shao brought dozens of baskets of buns, and the hungry people threw like wolves. There is no strength, crawling on the ground to lead the buns. The sound of chewing rustled, biting everyone's nerves. Someone ate too hard to choke on his throat. Without help, when we found out, we were already suffocating. Lu Shao sullenly announced Lu Guang’s order to separate wheat from the fields, and asked the migrants to register within five days and return to the farmland immediately.
Without Thanksgiving Dade, everyone is crying to get wheat seeds. I held the dog and waited at the registration desk. After a day, I saw no woman named Qin Su'e. No one knows if I ask someone. I went to Duan Ye again, he had a roster of all soldiers in his hand. After a long search, I finally saw a few words crossed out by a red bar: Dunhuang Liuyuan, Wei Changxi.
Carrying the dog home, I saw all the people who had received the food and were going back home. Standing on the side of the road, I carefully looked at each woman who passed by me, hoping to see the dog's mother. He has lost his father, and I really don’t want him to become an orphan. It was getting dark, and the wind raised the dust, blowing mercilessly on these people who survived. They are standing alone, only a single figure, and in their eyes are uneasy. Recalling the North Song folk song "Longtou Geci", I felt sad.
Longtou water flowing away from the mountain. Nianwu is in the wilderness.
Chaofa Xincheng, Musu long head. Han couldn't speak, his tongue rolled into his throat.
Long head water, sobbing. Looking at Qinchuan from afar, my heart is cut off.
Thinking of this desolate poem, it seemed as if I saw these people returning home wandering lonely and precariously on the steep mountain road, and the cold spring was not as sad as in my heart. They may not be able to sleep well in this life.
When I got home, I found that more than two hundred people had left for more than half. They were anxious to leave this nightmare place. For the rest of the time, I coaxed the crying dog and accepted their farewell with Roche. In the evening I found out that there was no need to squeeze a bedroom with others. For the first time in such a long time, we have a two-person world in our own home.
I brought in the hot water and let him rinse. It was Hu Yanping who spent the afternoon finding firewood found outside the city. He stood in front of the window and meditated. After hearing my call, he rinsed silently. After finishing, stand back to the window again.
"What are you thinking?" I wanted to clean the room and clean it up, but I was not assured of his silence.
He didn’t look at me, fixed his eyes on the cold moon outside the window, and his voice was as clear as cold springs: "Ai Qing, remember when the famine first started, did I vow not to starve to death alone?"
I sigh, he is still thinking about it. "Rosh, don't blame yourself again..."
"It's not self-blame."
He interrupted me softly, and his eyes were burning: "In order to save people, I have exhausted everything. I thought I could not starve a person to death, but only blessed 200 people. More than 100,000 victims, I use my own property, only Two hundred people were saved. In the last month, you still survive by selling the monarch's technique."
He raised his slender hands and looked at them repeatedly. Smiled bitterly: "It turns out that my own strength is so weak."
He put his hands down and stared at the window again: "Jorosh was willing to attach to Lu Guang and edit some mysterious Chenwei to cater to him. He was willing to let go of the so-called self-esteem and secretly seek food for the refugees, how much he could save. people?"
I looked up and stared. He bathed in the hazy moonlight was like a lone tree, and Yuehua cut out her silhouette sharply. He grinned bitterly, showing sorrow in desperation: "At least, there are more than two hundred people."
All kinds of thoughts in my heart were overwhelming, and I couldn't consolidate into a sentence. He continued to say bitterly: "If more, I can persuade Lü Shao to give up closing the city gate, how many more people can save?"
He turned to face me, still with a cold smile on his lips: "Ai Qing, I have always insisted on what I believe in, clean my body, and think that this is right. After experiencing this, I realized that I have never understood the trade-offs."
He looked up, and the moonlight illuminated the bright and clear voice in his eyes: "You can teach the unruly monarch to do whatever you want to achieve the purpose. The Mahayana Dharma also speaks of convenience and rights. But I care too much about self-esteem and disdain Lv is in the force. But he forgets that no matter how unconscious they are, they are still the hegemons of the people, and the lives of the people are in their hands. I could save more people, but it is not laughable to block the car with my own strength."
"Rosh..."
He didn’t seem to hear my soft call, and he was still immersed in his own world: "When I was young, I was studying at the Binbin. I once heard a story. In the past, the king of Binbin won a luan bird, but the king wanted to hear it sing, but it was three years. No. The queen said:'When you hear a bird seeing the same kind, it will sing, why don't you hang a mirror to make it think you see the same kind?' Wang used this method, the result was that the Luan bird saw himself in the mirror, wailing and sings Absolutely."
He faced the cold moon outside the window, the lingering loneliness enveloped him. After a moment of silence, the sound of drifting sounded again: "Ai Qing, since he came to Guzang, Rosh could not save people, but he could not pass on the law. Looking around, I was alone and independent. Like the trapped mournful, lonely On top of Kutong. Do I have to be attached to these so-called sovereigns who kill people like ignoring human life as a mustard in order to save people and spread the Fa?"
Tears poured into his eyes, and his nose was sour. If he is a sample of noble and vulgar, if he had not witnessed the suffering with his own eyes, how could he put down his self-esteem and think about these unacceptable choices?
Leaning on the shoulder that made me feel at ease, I sighed and said, "Shi Daoan, a famous monk attached to Fujian, once said,'If you don't follow the ruler of the country, the law will be difficult to establish'. You used to be honored in the Western Regions, a large part The reason is your origin, the royal family of Guizi is your strong backing. The entire Western Region established a Buddhist country, and you from the royal family naturally need not consider relying on the powerful to achieve the purpose of propagating the Dharma. However, the Central Plains is completely different from the Western Region, and your advantages have arrived. The Central Plains disappeared. The Dharma was not popular here, no one cares about your background, and there are no dignitaries to support your ideas."
He looked at me, the pain in his eyes worsened. I reached out and stroked his frowning eyebrows, feeling distressed by his deepening wrinkles.
"Rosh, you should learn from the Buddha. He has a background similar to yours and is a royal member of a small country. He spreads Buddhism in the Tianzhu, where all people believe in Brahmanism. It is more difficult to spread than you do in the Central Plains where Buddhism is not flourishing. You are better off now. There are twenty-four disciples, but Buddha had only five disciples in the early days. He worked hard to achieve his ideals."
After a pause, I recalled the information I read: "Yes, he befriended the king. The son of the king of Pingsha, Ajan Shi, was self-reliant and confessed to the Buddha, and the Buddha comforted him. In contrast, he contacted the businessman and asked the wealthy businessman to become a layman. Accepted the Lin Lin Jingshe as a gift to the lonely elder. Right, he also dealt with prostitutes, the prostitute An Moro invited him to dinner, and sent it to the garden, and the Buddha also accepted it. These allusions, you are more familiar than me." (Reference Ji Xianlin, "On Sakyamuni")
Fingers were entangled in his hands, and he smiled and told him: "Buddha got the Tao at the age of thirty-five, forty-five years of evangelism, and at the age of eighty, there were only a maximum of five hundred disciples. But, you see Now, even in the Central Plains, there are definitely more than 500 monks. Sixteen years later, you received three thousand disciples in Changan. Fifty years later, Beiliang, who wiped out Monson in the Northern Wei Dynasty, moved more than 3,000 monks to the Northern Wei Dynasty. Go to the capital. It can be seen, but in just 50 years, how much development of Buddhism in the Central Plains."
"So, you are not a lonely luan bird. You have me, a disciple who is following you with all your heart, and there is an entire land of suffering that is still barren in thought. If you do not come to the Central Plains, you are just a respected monk in a small oasis country. , The wheel of time rolls, and you disappear in the long river of history. This place where Buddhism is not popular, but it is your stage of development. You are more needed here, as long as you can endure everything from scratch."
"Ai Qing..." He sighed, the loneliness in his eyes drifted away, his eyes warmed up, rubbing me into his arms, his voice no longer mourned. "You can always let Rosh get out of trouble when he is most confused. From scratch, well, Roche will start from scratch from today, no longer complaining, no longer pretentious."
He looked at me and a warm smile floated on Qingzhen's face: "It is the Buddha's intention to have you as a wife."
He pressed it to my ear and whispered softly: "Thank you, my wife..."
I was a little blushed by the heat in my ears, I must be certain, I still have to tell him: "But the father and son of the Lu family have too much evil with you, and they are not people to rely on. You have been in Liangzhou for 17 years. Very few records also indicate that they are incompatible with you."
He raised his head slightly, wrapped his arms around me, and firm strength came from his arms: "Then I will wait until a monarch can listen to me and treat the people well, and help me complete the mission of spreading the Dharma."
"It will be 16 years until Yao Xing hires you as a national teacher."
The talented wry smile turned into a consistent tough and calm smile, with a sharpened chin resting on top of my head, and a moist, low-pitched midrange voice came into my ears: "But only sixteen years. Wait, it is not difficult for Rosh. Rosh. You can hide your time and wait until that day."
Moved inexplicably, but unable to speak. He could only use his hands around his waist and tightly fit himself with him. "I'm with you, let's wait..."
"it is good……"
He stroked my hair and gently kissed my forehead: "Ai Qing, there is no decent temple in Guzang City. I have long wanted to raise funds. Today, on the mountain where the victims are concentrated in the south of the city, Roche has An idea."
He thought about it and said, "Rosh wants to build a grotto temple there, in order to pass those who died of famine as soon as possible out of the bitter sea and transfer to another world."
"Okay." I looked up at him, happy for the idea. In this way, he has a goal, so he can support it for so many years.
"It's better to visit Li Hao tomorrow. If he can send a garden like a lonely elder, and then spread the garden with hundreds of millions of dollars, it will be in one step, haha." Later, I couldn't bear it myself. I laughed.
He knocked on my head and couldn't help laughing: "How is this possible? It would be nice if he could donate."
I rubbed my head and finally made him happy. I longed for it and shook his arm eagerly: "We can also go to Du Jin and Duan Ye to let them donate money too."
Seeing him regain his confidence, full of joy. This morning's nosebleeds on the hills outside the city are not a sign. I'm just too tired and scared...
We were very well received at Li Hao's house. Li Hao respects us very much, and he can see that he always has a slight apology in his expression. After Roche told Li Hao in the future, he really agreed and nodded, "Master, this idea is very good. That day Tishan was indeed..."
Suddenly I yelled and called, "Li Gongzi, what mountain do you call that mountain?"
Li Hao is somewhat inexplicable: "Called Tianti Mountain."
"But isn't it called Mantou Mountain?"
"That's the common name of the people. The real mountain is called the ladder, and it's caused by Qianliang Zhang track. It's just that the people have been used to it for many years, and they haven't changed their mouth." He looked at me strangely, "Why is this lady so interested in this mountain name?"
"Ah? Haha, nothing, just curiosity." I teased and smiled, and stopped talking, letting Rosh talk to him about the details.
Now I know that the Mantou Mountain that we have been calling the people is the Tianti Mountain that has been recorded in history. The Tianti Mountain Grottoes in Wuwei are not well-known in modern times because of too many wars and frequent earthquakes, and the poor protection of carved murals. But it is the first cave temple in the Central Plains, with far-reaching significance. After the Northern Wei Dynasty extinguished the Northern Liang Dynasty, a large number of monks were moved to Pingcheng, the capital of Northern Wei Dynasty (now Datong, Shanxi). A group of craftsmen, sculptors, and painters who cut the grottoes also moved eastward together to become the technical force of Yungang Grottoes in Datong. Later, Emperor Xiaowen of the Northern Wei Dynasty moved the capital to Luoyang, and the Longmen Grottoes in Luoyang also inherited the Liangzhou model.
In addition to Qianping City, some monks in Liangzhou moved westward to Dunhuang. The excavation of the Mogao Grottoes was also deeply affected by the Tianti Mountain Grottoes. Therefore, it is not an exaggeration to say that the Tianti Mountain Grottoes are the originator of the Central Plains Grotto Art. However, a doubt came to mind. I remember that the Tianti Mountain Grottoes were built in 412 AD, when Monson was moved from Zhangye to Guzang and ordered to build it. It is said that Monson’s mother was seriously ill. In order to pray for blessings, Monson carved a five-meter stone statue for her mother in the cave.
Various records indicate that Roche's preparatory work has not succeeded, but that Monson fulfilled Roche's wish. In the end what happened? Why did Roche have this thought now, but he didn't build it in the sixteen years of Gu Zang? I have no historical data to speculate, but I can only stare. Looking at Rosh's brilliantly depicting the future shape of the cave temple for Li Hao, after thinking for a long time, he still didn't want to tell Rosh. He has finally found a goal now, and I don't want to destroy his mood.
Thinking of Monson, he could not help secretly breathing. The day Lu Guang returned to the city, Du Jin and Duan Ye brought us food and necessities. Therefore, I stopped teaching at Monson's house. I used to go to him just for food, and now I don’t have to worry about eating. I don’t want to get together with someone who is more cunning than a fox every day. However, he knew in his heart that he would never forget it so easily. Maybe, in these few days, will he confront him again?
When we walked out of Li Hao's house and walked past the Drum Tower, we saw many miserable refugees waiting in line. Today is the last day to go through the process of registering and receiving food for the migrants. Lu Guang’s sons are not present. Only Lu Guang’s brother Lu Bao’s second son, Lu Chao, is supervising. Lu Chaogang was in his early twenties, and he had a deeper mind than his cousins. Less than three years after Lu Zuo usurped the throne, Lv Chao killed Lu Zuo and helped his brother Lu Long to take the throne. Thinking of the Rosh predictions about Lu Chao killing Lu Jiu in the "Book of Jin", he couldn't help laughing.
Roche bowed his head and asked, "What's laughing?"
I leaned into his ear and said gently, "History records that you played chess with Lu Zhan. Lv Zuo took your son and said,'Kill Hu's head'. You answered,'It's Hu Nu's kill your head'." I faced Lu Chaonuu's mouth in the crowd, "Lu Chao's small character Hu Nu, so this record becomes your proof of Xianshan Yin and Yang."
Rosh looked at me dumbfounded, then looked at Lv Chao again, shook his head helplessly and smiled wryly.
I saw Hu Yanping in the crowd. I have been holding my dog ​​and waiting for his mother at the registration desk these days, but it has been fruitless. Going to Li Hao's house today, I asked Hu Yanping to come here and wait. He also saw us and came to us.
"Mage, ma'am!" He made a betrayal to us, and he looked up when he looked up. "Ma'am, someone just said that he is Qin Su'e's fellow countryman, and Yan Mou heard the dog's whereabouts..."
"How?" I asked eagerly.
A trace of unbearableness floated across his honest face, and said softly, "Already... starved to death..."
Close your eyes and turn your head. Still this ending! The two-year-old dog became an orphan.
The hand was held, it was Roche, whispering warmly: "Ai Qing, let's adopt a dog, this is also his mother's hope."
I nodded. Dogs are the youngest refugees we house. Over the past month, I have also paid more attention to this thin baby. Teach him to talk and walk, to see him rely more and more on me. If I cannot conceive my child, let him be our child.
Hu Yanping took the food given to us by Li Hao in the hands of Roche and carried it on his shoulders. We are about to go back and see Hu Yanping stop talking to us.
"Mage, ma'am, Yan Ping's family..." He paused, his face embarrassed.
"Brother Yan is not worried, you are not a refugee, there is no need to move away." Rosh saw his thoughts and said it first.
I added with a smile: "Do not worry about household registration, I will ask Lang Duanye to help you do it well."
He was overjoyed and showed gratitude on his plain face: "The Master and his wife are gracious, Yan Mou really has nothing to do. But there is a drive, Yan Mou will die forever. Yan Mou will find a place as soon as possible, so as not to disturb the Master and his wife too much. "
Rosh replied gently: "Brother Yan should be polite. Rosh and his wife regarded you as a family, but it's okay to live. If you have been away for many years, there should be a stable place to rest."
Hu Yanping couldn't help but say thankful words and followed us toward the house. Did not take a few steps, suddenly heard a shout behind him:
"Hu Yanping!"
We quickly turned around and saw someone in the Liumin group yelling at Hu Yanping: "You are Hu Yanping! You are still alive!"
Hu Yanping's face suddenly turned pale... .
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The legend of the Luan Bird was first seen in the Central Plains literature in the "Luan Bird Poetry" written by the famous Southern literati and devout Buddhist Fan Tai, whose life time is not far from Kumarajiva. In the small preface of the poem, Fan Tai mentioned: "The king of Xibin Bin's knotted mountains is a luan bird. Wang Shi loves it and wants it to sing but not to be. It is decorated with a golden fan and a rare dish. , It’s more like it, it hasn’t sounded for three years. His wife said:'Taste the birds and see the sound, then why not hang the mirror and reflect it.' Wang Congqi. Absolutely."
Fan Tai used the metaphor of the death of a luan bird as if Zhong Ziqi had lost Yu Boya and destroyed the piano. It was the result of a lack of understanding.
The legend of Luan bird is obviously from the Buddhist scriptures outside the region. Kumorosh's only two poems handed down also mentioned the luan bird. The Sanskrit of Luanbird is "kalavi?ka", and Roche prefers to use the transliteration "Galing Pinga". Therefore, whether this poem was written by Roche or not is also controversial in academia. In this poem by Roche, he symbolizes himself with mourning luan. "The mourning luoling solitary tongs, resounding for nine days." embodies his lonely state of mind when he arrived in the Central Plains.
"Xinshan Yude Xun Xun, Liufang ten thousand years.
The mourning luanming solitary paulownia, resounding for nine days. "
Hui Jiao's Biography of a High Monk: "Compilation and Shibo opera. Killing chess said:'Hun Hu Nutou'. Shiyue:'Hunu Hutou can't be chased, Hu Nu will chase human heads.' Wu. The younger brother Guangzi retains his son's super name and super small character Hu Nu. After that, he will be decapitated, and his brother will be the master.