Chapter 161:

She had dreamed of reuniting with her beloved girl many times in countless long and silent nights. She thought that the girl might reach out and hug her heart tightly over the years, and that the girl might cry and rebuke her for not saying goodbye to that year, and even more, maybe she was hiding in a dark place in disarray, Looking far away, Lin Xian walked happily with others.
She thought that if they were informed, happy or sad, they would probably have red eyes and mood swings at the moment they met.
However, to this day, the fact is that the girl was unexpectedly calm, her eyes were somber, she had a mature and beautiful face, and it was her calmness that could not see the distinct emotions.
There was no joy or sorrow, as if their reunion, but a long-time acquaintance on the street.
Xiao Wanqing's heart with a mixture of emotions, in the girl's eyes like a wave of calm, suddenly calmly and quietly, began to be uneasy and inexplicable.
"Envy..." She bit her lip and finally called up the name she whispered countless times when she woke up. Her voice seemed to squeeze out of her chest.
Lin Xian gazed greedily at the woman in front of her dreams, clenched her fists consciously under her hands, and almost broke her back molars before restraining her ecstasy. The urge to cry and the desire to reach out and hold her tightly in her arms.
Xiao Panpan did not take care of herself, she lost weight.
In the days and nights where she has been traversing the mountains and searching for Xiao Wanqing in all these years, she has blamed countless times that she has failed to protect Xiao Panpan, and blames herself for her poor lover, who does not know where to drift and live. What kind of days can't help but feel the grievance and despair that have failed again and again, complaining that Xiao Panpan once again coaxed her like a child, leaving heartlessly, even doubting that he is dying, Xiao Panpan does not Come to her, do you blame her, did you really forget her...
Is it true, don't want her...
My heart remains the same after a long period of time. Is Qingxin's heart like mine? Lin Xian used to be determined, but now he is hesitant.
The wind and rain outside the umbrella, the two beautiful women under the umbrella seemed to be locked in something, standing in the pouring rain, motionless, looking affectionately, condensing speechlessly. The doorman of the good thing passed through the window and kept turning his eyes on Xiao Wanqing and Lin Xian. The intention to probe the gossip was obvious.
Lin Xian perceived cleverly, his eyes crossed Xiao Wanqing, and looked at the guard coldly without any traces. The guard immediately withdrew his eyes embarrassingly and bowed his head to pretend to read the newspaper.
She withdrew her eyes, swallowed hard twice, and lubricated her throat, which was too dry because she had to hold back the emotion of crying, before making the steady gesture that an adult should have. She whispered and reminded: "It is not convenient to speak here. "
Xiao Wanqing woke up like a dream and looked down, seeing Lin Xian's shoulder wet by the wind and rain. She lost her usual place and became insane. She instinctively panned and stretched out the umbrella to help her cover up, but Lin Xian raised her hand quickly to hold the umbrella handle and stopped the movement.
"No, it's not necessary, my back is completely wet, and my shoes are full of water." Lin Xian said lightly. As soon as the words fell, she raised her hand and rubbed her nose, as if holding a sneeze.
Xiao Wanqing was immediately nervous. She looked vaguely like a girl who was as familiar as she was engraved in her heart, but her look was cold and unfamiliar. The corners of her clothes were twisted into twists, and her tone was deliberate: "I... live here, do you mind changing in the past? Clothes, hide from the rain?" She was afraid that Lin Xian would be cold, but she was also afraid that now she grew up facing Lin Xian, who was so calm, and resisted her excessive closeness.
But her polite tone made Lin Xianxin seem to be stung by something. She looked down at Xiao Wanqing deeply and saw the real concern in her eyes. She was relieved in the end.
Xiao Panpan still loved her. There was a little imperceptible smile in her eyes. She lowered her eyelids and pretended to be polite: "That's fine, please."
The girl's polite and unresponsive reply suddenly fell into Xiao Wanqing's heart, making her uncomfortable and sore with sore eyes.
She should have been ready by now, but the panic that still luckily survived has finally become true? See you again, whether envy has been found, Xiao Wanqing, in fact, but Er.
They are like two awkward snails, carrying heavy burdens called time and distance, with a deep heart in their hearts, with a little anticipation and anxiety, jerky and strange, reaching out their tentacles and carefully testing each other.
On the way to Xiao Yuanqing's residence, they were each holding an umbrella, and two umbrellas were vacated in the middle of the distance. They walked not far away, as if they were separated from each other after a long absence.
Envy, this time, is it to say goodbye to the past?
Xiao Wanqing walked anxiously on Lin Xian's side, couldn't help but stared at the girl's tall and handsome silhouette, contemplating. With such anxious thoughts together, she seemed to have been drained from her body for a moment, unconsciously slowed her pace and lost her soul.
Lin Xian walked beside her a little bit faster, but she had been using Yu Guang to pay close attention to Xiao Wanqing. Seeing Xiao Wanqing slow down, Lin Xian's heart sank, followed by slowing down, and looked slightly at her.
The woman stood beside a low level of standing water. Behind what she thought Lin Xian could not see, she removed her calm disguise and looked at her frankly and affectionately.
There was a car rushing behind the horn, Xiao Xiaoqing felt nothing.
The tire is about to run over the stagnant water, splashing a pool of sewage...
Lin Xian didn't have much time to think about it, forgetting the maturity and restraint of all the pretense. While nervously pulling Xiao Wanqing into his arms and protecting him, he quickly turned around and blocked the splashing water with his body.
The two umbrellas fell with their overlapping movements, and the umbrella bodies collided, one high and one low, closely fitting together.
The rain slammed into the umbrella surface quickly, and at once, the sound of their heartbeats beating one after another.
Xiao Yunqing was caught off guard and slammed into Lin Xian's warm arms. The familiar cold incense on the girl instantly filled her nasal cavity as if she had treated her long destiny's gift to her. She reached out and gently grasped the girl's lapel, and by the girl's support, she slowly stood upright. She looked up and stared at Lin Xian's soft and smooth jaw line all the way up until she looked into the girl's clear and quiet black eyes.
The heart beats like a drum.
Lin Xian hugged his lost baby, felt his years of incomplete life, and finally felt fulfilled and fulfilled again. She looked down at Xiao Wanqing, and her eyes finally showed a water-like tenderness that could not be concealed. She raised her hand and gently rubbed pity and tenderness on Xiao Wanqing's cold and soft cheeks, and swept away the raindrops that had no dare to fall on Xiao Wanqing's cheeks, and her lips were vaguely familiar with Xiao Wanqing's gentle smile.
It was too late for Xiao Wanqing to make a detailed distinction. Lin Xian noticed the attention of the passing pedestrians, released his hand, took a step to the side, walked to the outside of the road, and turned his umbrella to the side, blocking Xiao Wanqing, and moved on silently.
In the wind and rain, losing the warm embrace of shelter, the wind poured in unscrupulously from both sides of Xiao Wanqing's open windbreaker. Standing in place, Xiao Wanqing seemed to be reluctant to withdraw from the brief tenderness revealed by Lin Xian, who only looked at Lin Xian's back, and unconsciously gathered his coat. The soft and tender face flashed with fragility and helplessness.
But she looked at Lin Xian's drenched back and the trouser legs that were stained with sewage, and she still had a good mood. She quickly followed Lin Xian and led her half a step. She bit her lip and thanked: "Thank you ..."
Lin Xian's footsteps took a slight pause, his eyebrows tightened gradually.
Xiao Wanqing lived not really far from the school. Lin Xian walked all the way, carefully observing the surrounding environment, and recorded in his mind the route from the school.
She quietly followed behind Xiao Wanqing, and no longer saw the bright young girl who had been lively.
Xiao Wanqing took clean guest slippers from the shoe cabinet, greeted her into the living room, and hurried into the bedroom to find her replacement clothes. Lin Xian stood in the living room, glanced quietly at everything in the room.
The house is obviously only one person living, the decoration is Xiao Panpan's consistent minimalist style, and the furnishings are as empty and cold as she went to Xiao Panpan's house that year. Lin Xian thought of Xiao Yuanqing's loneliness and helplessness over the past few years. His heart hurt so badly that tears began to circulate in his eyes.
She scanned the objects placed on the cabinets on both sides of the TV, scanned the pillows on the sofa, and her eyes suddenly locked on the books on the coffee table in front of the sofa. On the spine of the top book, there are conspicuously engraved the five characters "Jiupanjunguigui".
Lin Xian's throat shook uncontrollably, and the long-suffering tears slipped down the cheeks instantly.
Xiao Panpan did not forget her, Xiao Panpan has been watching her.
But Xiao Panpan is like this, watching her find her painfully and desperately, desperate and helpless?
This ruthless bad guy, bad guy, big fool.
"Envy, if you don't dislike it, you can replace them..." The woman's rapid footsteps sounded not far away. Lin Xian reached out and quickly wiped away her tears, sorted out the emotions, turned around and took it calmly Xiao Yuanqing handed over the clothes and followed her instructions to go to the bathroom to change the soaked clothes.
Hot tea rises in the cold air in the curling white mist. Lin Xian and Xiao Wanqing sit on opposite sides of the long tea table. Xiao Wanqing's water-like eyes looked softly at his dim lover. There seemed to be a thousand words in his heart that he wanted to talk to, but he lost his words in his mouth.
Envy seems to have changed, calmer, but silent. Five years have passed between them, as if separating them into two worlds. There are too many things I want to say, and I don’t know where to start. In the end, it turns into a two-phase silence, with nothing to say.
"Chen Zhi got married and gave birth to a cute little girl. I became a godmother. Momo got married a few months ago, and the child will be born in August next year." Finally, Lin Xian said softly, like many years The ordinary friends I met talked plainly about the years when the other party did not participate in these years.
Lin Xian did not ask her why she lied to her and why she left; Xiao Wanqing did not ask her why she came today and when she left.
Suddenly, the topic that is not salty and indifferent, covering each other's heart came to an abrupt end, followed by a long and disturbing silence.
Lin Xian lowered her head and held the teacup, silent for a long while, and finally looked up at Xiao Wanqing, and she said that Xiao Wanqing had been afraid for a long time: "Xiao Panpan, I am here to say goodbye to the past."
"I think, start again."
The girl stared at her, her tone was flat, but she thundered loudly, and thundered like a thunder in Xiao Wanqing's ear, shaking her mind into chaos and splitting her mind.
She let go of the hand holding the teacup, placed it under the coffee table, trembling and clenching her fists, her nails deep in her palms, she struggled to find her own wisdom.
It should have been expected, right? She bit her lower lip and looked at her grown-up, excellent lover, and calmed herself sadly in her heart.
Xiao Yunqing didn't know whether the light smile he pulled out was calm enough, natural enough, or not like a qualified predecessor or an elder. She opened her lips and tried to answer smoothly: "It's good, the past...it's time to pass. I..."
She clearly should continue to comfortably bless her beloved girl, but she can open her mouth, her heart is sour, and her mind is blank, and she can no longer say anything against her.
She stood up in a panic, wondering what Lin Xian would think, how to look at her, with the last restraint, the voice excuses hoarsely: "It's not too late, you... stay and have a meal, I'll start Go get ready." After all, she bowed her head gaily and staggered away in the kitchen.
Xiao Yuanqing hung his head, rickety on his back, standing staring at the counter, staring at his face in embarrassment, tears running down her fingers and slowly flowing down.
It’s time to be happy for the envy, she finally came out, she can finally avoid the worldly pointing, and finally can embrace a broader future, right? Xiao Wanqing, you should not cry, you should not be nostalgic, you should not be selfish.
She warned herself over and over again in the bottom of her heart, but her heart still felt like she was being stabbed by the knife, and the pain was torn apart; the tears were still like the gate could not be closed, and she could not control it from the eyes.
A pair of slender and powerful long arms hugged her from behind and wrapped tightly around her waist. The warm breath, slowly pouring in Xiao Wanqing's ear: "Xiao Panpan, why should I hide and cry?"
Xiao Wanqing fell into the girl's arms and froze. She lowered her head. In the girl's words, she couldn't control herself in an embarrassed way, crying more and more aggrieved, but still suppressing the cry, only the thick breathing sound could be heard in the air.
Lin Xian looked at Xiao Yunqing crying, and the whole heart felt as if it was shaking, tears rolled from his cheeks, and wet the hair on Xiao Yunqing's neck. She turned hard about Xiao Wanqing's crying resistance, and held her tearful cheeks pitifully with both hands, softly, and asked her softly, "Xiao Panpan, don't lie to yourself, don't lie again Me, tell me, what do you want?"
Xiao Yunqing looked at Lin Xian dimly with tears in his eyes, unable to stop his tears, almost breathlessly depressively, but still kept silent.
"Tell me, Xiao Panpan. Lin Xian grew up, she is no longer a child, she can afford the future you deserve." Lin Xian's voice became softer and more tempting.
Xiao Yunqing heard the words, his expression seemed to be moving, and his tearful eyes stared at Lin Xian for a moment.
Lin Xian bowed her head to kiss the salty tears in her eyes, and there was also a cry of grievance in her tone: "I'm sorry, Xiao Panpan, I didn't protect you, sorry, I let you be grieved. But Xiao Panpan, you really Will I forget to start over in the past?"
Xiao Yuanqing's chest undulated rapidly, and he could not bite his lips until he leaked. She tasted the smell in her mouth, tears and whirling eyes.
"Are you really willing to let me love others?"
"Are you really willing to let me be with others?"
One sentence is more hoarse, one sentence is more difficult, one sentence is more desperate. Xiao Yuanqing's heart shivered and sensible in Lin Xian's questioning voice, and began to fall apart in her tears.
"Do you really, don't you want me?" Lin Xian kissed her lover's soft lips and licked her warmly with patience and licking.
Like a string stretched to the extreme, Xiao Wanqing finally collapsed in the girl's tenderness.
She opened her lips to greet the plunder of the girl's lips and tongues, and whimpered and cried out in the intertwined lips and teeth, like a grievance that had been exhausted and found a child who had to rely on, to cry for all the injustices and pains of these years.
She hugged Lin Xian's neck and pressed her cheek, crying out of breath in her ear, calling her name intermittently: "Envy...Envy..."
Lin Xian burst into tears and hugged her tightly, her hands tighter and tighter, as if she wanted to embed her in her body.
"I am, I am." Extreme tenderness.
"I'm not, Lin Xian, I don't want to, don't want to..." Xiao Wanqing finally chokes out the most profound love in his heart.
She cried and said, "Don't love others, don't go..."
"Lin Xian, only love me, love me, OK..." he cried blood.
"Only love you. Xiao Panpan, Lin Xian only loves you. Only want you, only with you, start again." Lin Xian promised heartily and repeatedly. She couldn't resist the full of love along the line of Xiao Wanqing's side face, down all the way, kissed her white and slender neck, kissed her thin and clavicle, reached out to hug her, and sat on the dining table...
The clothes slid to the ground one by one in the sound of friction. Xiao Yunqing's back touched the icy wall. He couldn't help but shuddered, grabbing her skirt softly and whispered: "Cool..."
Lin Xian narrowed her wet eyes, her eyes full of love, and while licking a kiss, she hugged her and walked to the room.
The heavy rain outside the window was still falling, the night fell, and in the dim bedroom, Teddy was kicked to the bed and sat alone on the floor.
Amidst confusion, confusion, and emotions, Xiao Yunqing touched the scars left by Lin Xian's ribs due to a car accident. He was sober for a moment and asked in a panic.
Lin Xian raised her hand on the back of her hand and comforted her softly: "It's all gone..."
Xiao Wanqing couldn't be relieved at all, and turned her eyes against her red eyes, and she must ask what she would like to continue.
Lin Xianrou said: "It's my punishment that didn't protect you well, and it's the medal I love you."
She slyly kissed Xiao Yunqing, who was sore about her tears, and moved her gradually, and forgot to question and cry.
The room was full of vague, whispering, whispering and womanish emotions, and after crying, she was crying and extraordinarily soft and sultry: "Envy... want me..."
For example, she wanted to feel Lin Xian's true reappearance in her life in the ultimate satisfaction, filling her with the tears of her day and night.
...
It was late at night, the rain was getting smaller, and the sound in the house was gradually calming down. Lin Xian, like many years ago, was caring for Xiao Wanqing who was tired and weak. She did everything well, went back to bed, lay down sideways facing Xiao Wanqing, couldn't help but kissed her lover's red lips again, reached out to lift her sweaty forehead, and asked her softly: "Xiao Pan Hope, why don’t you come back to find me?

Xiao Yunqing's eyes seemed to contain a lot of autumn water, raised his tired hands, stroking Lin Xian's cheeks, and said frankly: "Envy, I don't know, if you want to find me, is it because of obsession, or Because of love……"
Lin Xian took Xiao Wanqing's hand and put it on his own heart. His eyes were seriously wronged: "Xiao Panpan, can't you feel it? Lin Xian's here will only accelerate for you from beginning to end."
Xiao Yunqing's heart was warm and astringent for a moment. She bit her lip and whispered, "But Lin Xian, I am thirty-nine this year." The implication is self-evident.
Lin Xian smiled bitterly, suddenly stood up with his elbows on, turned on the bedside lamp, and looked down at Xiao Wanqing: "Xiao Panpan, I will never be able to keep up with your age, but without your days, my old, maybe can."
She lifted her hair, and the hair roots hidden under the black hair turned out to be fine and dense, not a few silver. "Look, if you don't dye your hair, I have more white hair than I do."
Xiao Yuanqing was about to get up when Lin Deng was afraid. Lin Xian was afraid that her waist was still soft and reached out to hold her back. Xiao Yunqing unbelievably reached out and touched Lin Xian's long hair. He shed tears in distress and self-blame, and choked: "I'm sorry... sorry for envy... sorry..."
Lin Xian gently wiped her pearl tears with her thumb and coaxed her warmly: "Don't cry, Panpan. It's actually very good. Do you know? I was thinking very early and early, if I could Growing up overnight and getting old overnight can make you less concerned about our age and less disturbed. You see, I am now quite satisfied."
After all, she suddenly chuckled, with a mischievous and charming look on her face, and poured into Xiao Wanqing's neck, coquettishly said: "Aunt Xiao, will you dislike others? I don't follow, you can't do this For others."
Xiao Wanqing was still touched and distressed, and was amused by her sweet tone.
"Cry and laugh, shame." Lin Xian raised her head, her eyebrows teased, Xiao Yunqing patted her shoulder angrily, Lin Xian pulled it lightly, bowed her head and dropped a kiss.
She gently put Xiao Wanqing to lie down again, carefully tucked her back corner, took a sip on her forehead, and thoughtfully: "You sleep for a while, don't sleep on an empty stomach, I will cook for you in the kitchen Porridge, we'll sleep well after a while."
She nakedly put on the dressing gown Xiao Xiaoqing put on the side hanger, exposing a pair of straight beautiful long legs, and lifted some messy bangs to the door. Just before going out, she turned back nostalgicly and smiled brightly and brightly towards Xiao Wanqing who had been watching her.
In the dim and dim warm light, Xiao Yunqing stared at the girl's mature and beautiful smiling face, but in a trance, she seemed to return to the hotel where she was on a business trip that year. The girl traveled thousands of miles to visit the doctor, cooked porridge in the golden morning light, and turned back to her with a bright smile, "Xiao Xiaohua, the porridge looks pretty good."
Xiao Wanqing's eyes were wet again, and he couldn't help lifting the quilt and got out of bed, stepping on the soft steps, walking faster and faster, like that year, reaching out and hugging the girl's waist tightly from the back, with her cheek against her cheek. .
She whispered in her ear: "Lin Xian, sorry, thank you."
"I love you."
The girl turned around and kissed her with a smile: "Xiao Panpan, I love you more than I love you."
The long river named Years looming between them, still flowing quietly. But they waded barefoot, looking at each other, towards each other, and met in the middle of the water.
They stepped in the mud, hug and appease each other once, and embrace each other now, let the water wash.
The river seemed to dry up gradually, and the ditch gradually melted...
Outside the house, the storm was over.