Chapter 28:
-
For The Rest of Our Life
- Ran Min
- 2816 characters
- 2021-03-03 12:44:45
After the physical education class was over, Lin Xian and Shi Shizheng scored their words. Shiman returned to normal habits and went to Xia Zhijin to eat alone. Today, the distance from the gym directly to the cafeteria is relatively close. Shi Mannian was nagging to have a good meal and waited for Xia Zhijin, so that when Xia Zhijin came over from class, he did not have to squeeze others. She also remembered that during the Cold War last week, Xia Zhijin deliberately slowed down to follow their footsteps and followed them, so that it was too late to the cafeteria, and she did not eat the side dishes she likes to eat several times.
Lin Xian secretly said, at that time, Shi Manming was a pair of Xia Zhijin. I can't see your look. When did you observe it so carefully?
Until she joined Chen Zhi and Tang Mo together at the gate of the open-air stadium to eat in the cafeteria, Lin Xian thought of the secret that Shi Man just told her.
She was very strict in her childhood and couldn't find any so-called bad reading at home, but there are some topics that must be said, and Zhou Qin and Lin Zhan are not hiding her. In adolescence, Zhou Qin talked to her about the necessary physiological knowledge of both sexes, so that she did not have to look at some messy things on her own because of curiosity. Because of their openness, she really lacked a lot of ignorance and curiosity. She did not understand the relationship between the sexes like other people of the same age.
In high school, many students began to indulge in novels of various colors, so that when they spent sleep and forgot to eat, Lin Xian followed the two books, only to feel boring, no longer interested. Yan Huan at the same table is a novel fan, except for the time of study, he is buried in the novel. But she is not the same as other students who like to share and exchange novel plots with friends. She said that she likes to read novels and mysterious secrets. She never tells herself what she is looking at, what is her name, and what plot, even if Lin Xianqi asks, she also It's just that I said, "You are so simple, I still don't want to destroy you. The door of the new world cannot be opened randomly."
Lin Xian used a violent method to irritate her and said that she was looking at Xiao Huangwen, so she didn’t dare to say it. Yu Yanhuan and eloquently stated: "I am not, I am not!"
It wasn't until I was surprised when I saw her that I asked her, "Have you ever been in contact with Danmei novels?" Lin Xian later doubted and said that Huan Huan was a novel of this type, so she died. Don't tell her?
In her mind, there was a saying that Yu Huan said half-jokingly at the time, "The door to the new world cannot be opened arbitrarily." I just felt that my heart was messed up, as if there was something that was coming out of my reach.
This is the so-called, after the opened new world, is there the glowing light radiating there? Toast her, almost fidgeting.
The word homosexuality seemed to suddenly fall from her distant and corner, and suddenly landed in front of her. In her life, she had to be curious and had to think.
When she was in junior high school, she first learned the word from a chat with her classmates. When the classmates mentioned it, they said, "There is a person in this world who is very strange and perverted. Everyone likes men and women, and the opposite attracts the same sex. , But that kind of person is different from everyone else, they like the same sex." Lin Xian listened and wondered in his heart, is it strange and abnormal to be different? She felt wrong. So when she went home to dinner, she asked Zhou Qin and Lin Zhan.
At that time, Zhou Qin's face seemed strange, and he only carefully asked the reason why Lin Xian raised this topic. Later, Zhou Qin only told her: "Mother only tells you that homosexuality is not perverted, but specific topics in this regard will wait for you to grow up a little bit, shall we talk more carefully?"
Lin Zhan wanted to say something, looked at Zhou Qin's expression, and finally, only nodded warmly and lovingly to Lin Xian, and stopped pressing it.
So Lin Xian went to high school ignorantly and almost forgot about this matter. One of the school-based elective courses was about adolescent psychology. The teacher was a middle-aged man about 50 years old. When talking about homosexuality, the teacher said that homosexuality is not abnormal, but it is also wrong and abnormal. Normal love can only happen between the opposite of men and women, and the so-called love between the same sex. Many are just wrong attachments and false fantasies during adolescence, and there is no illusion caused by the distinction between friendship and love.
Yan Huan next to him gently "cut", Lin Xian asked her what happened, but Yan Huan bit her lip again, shook her head and said quietly, "Nothing."
Lin Xian thought at the time that the psychology teacher should be a senior person in this field. So, the truth was that the parents did not mention the topics that they did not mention. As if they said the same thing, they all said that homosexuality is not perverted, but neither said it was right. That should be the case, this is just an illusion.
Because it has nothing to do with himself, Lin Xian did not pay too much attention, and did not go to find information to verify it by himself, so he took this as the correct conclusion in his heart.
But today, Lin Xian's concept, which has been formed for a long time, seems to be overturned by her own rushing thoughts in a moment and when it is full.
Can Shiman explain the so-called illusion when it is full of emotions that are so clear and unsentimental? Lin Xian felt no, she could not convince herself to deceive herself.
So, the former psychology teacher may not be right, right?
So, between the same sex, there will be real love, there will be heartbeat, there will be admiration, there will be likes, there will be everything that all men and women may have in love, right? Although few people mention it, and few people pay attention to it, is this kind of feeling not abnormal, or is it wrong?
She didn't know why, as if there was a fire in her heart. From a small cluster of flames, it gradually grew stronger and burned, and the momentum of the prairie was formed instantly. Lin Xian, who was burning only, had a fiery heart and a heartbeat.
After eating and putting down the chopsticks, Chen Zhi and Tang Mo were still drinking soup, and she finally still could not suppress the consternation and curiosity in her heart, carefully testing them: "Are you reading novels?" Like usual gossip.
Chen Zhi nodded casually and said, "I will watch it when I have time. Recently I have chased several serials every night."
Tang Mo also immediately responded: "Me too, but recently a little book shortage."
Lin Xian has not continued to explore. The two of them set aside Lin Xian and asked each other for a chat. Tang Mo asked Chen Zhi if he could recommend it. Chen Zhi asked Tang Mo what kind of novels he read. Tang Mo returned to Chen Zhi without thinking: "I will eat all my romance."
Chen Zhi exclaimed: "Yes, you. I used to look at romance. Later, as soon as I entered the door, it looked like the sea, and I couldn't see romance again."
Lin Xian has been pulling her ears to listen to their conversation. Hearing the two sensitive keywords "Danmei", she straightened her body, unconsciously rubbed her hands, and joined the topic, asking abruptly, "Danmei, is it a novel about the love between men and men, Is this... this feeling... normal?"
When Chen Zhi and Tang Mo heard the word "normal" at first sight, they almost exploded. What is normal? What is abnormal? But they looked at Lin Xian's expression, her eyes were clean and clear curiosity, there was no slight malicious existence. Chen Zhi slowed his tone and replied Lin Xiandao: "Of course it is normal, what's wrong with this. Now it's any age, many countries can get married in the same sex, but our environment is still more conservative. I don't have Think of it, Lin Xian, are you so conservative?"
Lin Xian didn't know why, and there was a smile on her lips that couldn't hold back. She repeatedly waved her hands and explained, "I don't have it. I'm just stupid. I don't know. I was blinded by some unprofessional teachers."
Why, inexplicably, felt that there was a place in my heart, so happy and happy.
Xiao Wanqing's face flashed in her mind, and soon she was depressed by Lin Xian. She thought that she might be happy for Shiman and Xia Zhijin's love.
Later, when it was the afternoon class, Lin Xian gradually forgot about it again.
She thought that this topic, this term, maybe, should be stopped like this, she understood, knew, but that is the case, there will be nothing more.
However, when she returned home after school and saw Xiao Wanqing's beautiful face, she suddenly discovered that she had already, so she didn't understand herself.
As usual, she returned home, placed the schoolbag on the sofa, and then ran to the kitchen to find Xiao Wanqing. As expected, Xiao Wanqing was wearing an apron and holding her hair as usual, and the pavilion stood in front of the gas stove for cooking. She quickly approached Xiao Wanqing, rubbed her arms intimately with Xiaochin's chin, and praised, "It's so sweet, Aunt Xiao, what are you cooking?"
Obviously, the normal scene has been repeated countless times recently, and the normal actions have been done countless times, but in the next second, Xiao Wanqing looked down at her "little cat" and everything seemed to be different.
Lin Xian lifted her eyes staring at Xiao Wanqing's gentle smile, and looked into her tender eyes. Suddenly, she seemed to have a tongue of fire burning all over her body, making her violently dry.
She seemed to be able to hear her thunderous heartbeat all at once, accompanied by the gentle and faint tail of Xiao Wanqing's soft and indulgent "Little Greedy Cat", she began a beating fast and crazy.
She loosened her arms around Xiao Wanqing's arms, and seemed to be in a state of chaos. She dared not look at Xiao Wanqing any more, and she quickly dropped the sentence "Aunt Xiao, let me take a shower" and ran away.
Xiao Yunqing stared sideways, staring at the girl's disappearing figure quickly, and her eyebrows rose slightly. She took the hair scattered on her cheeks behind her ears, turned off the fire, and secretly thought: Lin Xian today, there is a little abnormal. Because of school? Or is it because of myself? But she just said one more common thing...
In any case, Xiao Wanqing couldn't think of it. Lin Xian's abnormality was because, when she saw Xiao Wanqing's low-eyed and charming face, the thought that she suddenly raised in her mind was: girls, you can like girls...then she Is it okay...
No, it's not impossible.
Lin Xianmu took a cold bath twice, and then he would suppress the unexplained heat in his heart. She warned herself that this matter had nothing to do with herself, and at this point, she was not allowed to think about it.
However, by the time she had eaten, she slapped herself uncontrollably.
Xiao Yunqing calmly gave Lin Xian a dish of soup, but quietly, he was more distracted than usual to observe Lin Xian. Naturally, she soon discovered that Lin Xian had been peeking at herself deliberately or unintentionally. But when she looked at her, she would quickly withdraw her eyes, pretending to be casual.
If it wasn’t Xiao Wanqing who had just felt relieved, he went to the bathroom and looked at the mirror to make sure that he had normal makeup and normal dress. Lin Xian wasn’t so abnormal. Xiao Wanqing thought that there was something strange on his face.
Xiao Wanqing has always been a person who does not like his suspicions. When he intersects with others, he has always been able to speak, harmless, and knowing everything; what he cannot say, what he should not say, keeps his mouth shut. She had doubts about Lin Xian in her heart, which made her feel at ease. Not to listen to the girl’s privacy or other things, but to be afraid of any difficulties she encountered, but it would be difficult to talk about her face or other. After hesitating for a while, she decided to open the door and ask Lin Xian: "Xian Xian, did you encounter anything today?"
Lin Xian's chopsticks paused, and conditioned reflexively denied: "No, nothing happened." She looked up and looked at Xiao Wanqing, Xiao Wanqing's expression of concern and concern, and Xiao Xiaoqing's bright, watery eyes, and her heartbeat. , It seems to be abnormal again.
In the end, she still frankly confessed herself and asked, "Aunt Xiao, do you think homosexuality is normal? Is it right?" Lin Xian asked Chen Zhi and Tang Mo, although a little nervous, but It is still very calm. At this moment, she clearly noticed that when she asked Xiao Wanqing, her voice shook with almost imperceptible. She dared not look at Xiao Wanqing's expression again, and her heart was anxious, nervous, and extremely extreme.
So, she missed it. When she asked this question, Xiao Wanqing's eyes flashed with surprise, panic, and melancholy. Missing the moment when she was nervous, Xiao Yunqing trembled beside the bowl, squeezed tightly, and released Hands.
After a while, she heard that Xiao Wanqing's soft and gentle voice didn't answer her and asked her, "Why do you suddenly ask me this?"
Lin Xian answered half of the reasons without hesitation: "Because I chatted with my classmates about the novel today, I suddenly talked about this topic."
Xiao Wanqing's rare panic and complex look was able to disperse slightly. She sighed in relief and pondered for a long while before answering Lin Xiandao cautiously: "In my opinion, homosexuality is normal, and there is no right or wrong in love."
Lin Xian heard the words, breathing a sigh of relief under his heart. She looked at Xiao Wanqing with some joy, and heard Xiao Wanqing’s soft and pleasant voice continued to add: "However, as a result of this love, it should not hurt anyone, but it will always, inevitably hurt some people. ."
Lin Xian felt that when Xiao Yunqing was talking, she looked a little heavy and sad in her expression. She seemed to understand, and hesitated again and again before asking: "That is, for Aunt Xiao, you think it is right, are you not against it?"
Xiao Wan's green eyes were heavy, and as deep as the ancient pool, his eyes seemed to be stained with a layer of mist that Lin Xian could not see through. The smile on her lips was a little shallow, and her voice was faint: "I think it is right." She lowered her head slightly, and her soft, broken hair covered her beautiful face. Lin Xian couldn't see her expression clearly. Too.
Her voice seemed to be for Lin Xian, but also for herself.
There was unspeakable excitement in Lin Xian’s heart, and the girl’s crisp, ringing laughter sounded in the warm light of a room, echoing,
I think it is right!
That teacher, don’t talk nonsense without knowing it! Missed children! !
Xiao Wanqing suddenly sighed softly and gave a nice tone. "Huh..." She stood up, preparing to clean up her chopsticks, raising her hand and rubbing Lin Xian's soft hair above her head, feeling sad: "I don't know if your mother knows what I said to you, would you want to hit me?" ."
Lin Xian opened her arms at this moment. Although she still had some inexplicable restlessness, she even enjoyed Xiao Wanqing's approach to her. She was like a little milky dog comfortably smoothed her hair, gently shook her head and rubbed Xiao Wanqing's catkins, smiled and said firmly: "My mother will not, you are right, my mother also I know. She’s not that conservative."
Xiao Wanqing looked down at Lin Xian's unsophisticated smiley face, but just sipped his lips, did not speak, his eyes were dark and obscure.
But, my father and mother, why were you conservative again?
In the end, Xiao Wanqing just gently stroked Lin Xian's delicate cheeks, hoping to pray in his heart: Lin Xian, if I can, I hope you never need to face this topic.
Although, I will always support and defend.
But I dare not say that I have no regrets.