Translator:
Nyoi-Bo Studio
Editor:
Nyoi-Bo Studio
The two of them returned home excitedly, and Shania insisted on watching television right after she got there. Now that Tang En was her babysitter, Shania’s demands had to be met as soon as possible. Tang En obediently switched on the television, but before anything showed up on the screen, he could hear Lineker’s familiar voice coming from it.
I think that the viewers seated in front of the television today must have waited a very long time for this week’s episode!
The famous gentleman from the English football circle raised his voice as though he was not hosting a football program, but instead commentating live at a match.
After that, Tang En heard whistling sounds, which were soon followed by Alan Hansen’s excited reply.
That’s right! We’ve waited for far too long!
The television finally displayed something. Lineker looked the same as he always did, but Alan Hansen, who was beside him, looked much more dramatic. He held a small red flag in his hands, which he waved around excitedly. Meanwhile, Mark Lawrenson sat in between the two of them with his head lowered. In front of him was a brand new electric shaver, with its packaging still intact.
Seeing this, Tang En completely forgot about Shania’s request to watch cartoons. Instead, his eyes fixated onto the screen and he started giggling. Alan Hansen is right, I’ve also waited a long time for this!
Seeing Tang En smiling in such a sinister way, Shania’s curiosity was piqued. She squeezed forward, intending to see exactly what had made Uncle Tony so happy.
Lineker pointed towards the shaver on the table, and said with a sinister smile,
When trying to decide whether an electric or manual shaver should be used, we did a ballot; Mark luckily got the faster and more convenient option, the electric shaver. Although we express our deepest regrets towards this, we cannot do anything but accept it. It’s just like a match. Once it ends, even if people have doubts, the score doesn’t change. Therefore, Mark, what I want to say is… After the program today, please remember to buy a lottery ticket. Your luck is simply too good! Come, let’s first give the shaver a close-up. It is, after all, the star of today’s program.
The cameraman obediently closed in, and gave a close-up shot of the electric shaver that lasted for a full thirty seconds. The shaver’s exterior design had been displayed from all angles, just like a product that was on sale. It was so clear that even the brand could be seen distinctly. At the same time, a banner ad appeared at the bottom of the screen: Gillette—men’s choice!
After seeing this, Tang En, who was seated in front of the television, finally could not hold it in any longer, and burst out laughing.
There were also others laughing together with Tang En: Lineker, Alan Hansen, as well as the Nottingham Forest fans and countless other viewers who were seated in front of the television at that very moment.
Thank you, Gillette, for your special sponsorship of this event. After the program, the electric shaver that they specifically provided will be put up for auction. Viewers can start calling the number 0911114400 or send an SMS to bid for the shaver. All these years, after retiring from his professional football career, Mark Lawrenson has always appeared in front of us with that huge moustache of his…
The television screen displayed an image of what Lawrenson had looked like when he was still playing for Liverpool. The big moustache above his lips was extremely eye-catching.
I believe that everyone must be tired of seeing him that way, right? Let’s interview Lawrenson’s teammate in Liverpool, Alan Hansen, and see what his view on it is.
The camera turned towards Hansen, and he answered the question with a mock-serious expression on his face.
Hmm, that’s right… because the team had too many big moustaches, like Souness… we often got them mixed up. When you see a big moustache walking towards you from afar, and you wave to him and greet him saying, ‘Hey, Mark! How was your night?,’ and you discover that that person was actually Graeme Souness… do you know how awkward that is?
Lineker was already laughing at the table, with Mark Lawrenson, one of the main characters, seated between them. Tang En felt sure that he was extremely nervous right now, but as the victor of the bet, Tang En was thrilled to see what was happening.
Shania did not understand why Tang En was so interested in a man’s moustache, so Tang En explained the bet between Lawrenson and him. After finishing the story, Shania was very excited. Shouting,
Uncle Tony, you really are evil,
Shania watched the television attentively, looking forward to seeing Lawrenson shave off his own moustache.
After finishing their joke about Lawrenson, Lineker whipped out a glove from nowhere, as though he was performing magic, and put on the pair of white gloves. Afterwards, he solemnly tore open the shaver’s packaging. Meanwhile, Lawrenson, who was by his side, had steeled his resolve long ago, and was quietly awaiting his fate.
When the packaging for the shaver had been torn open, Lineker quickly installed the batteries. After switching it on, the camera did another close-up shot.
Please pay close attention. This is a real Gillette electric shaver. The blades are smooth and sharp, and it is very safe. It has a comprehensive design that is compatible with human ergonomics… This is definitely not a movie prop, and you can buy it at any store. But the shaver that shaved off Mr. Mark Lawrenson’s moustache is one-of-a-kind, and is therefore very valuable as a collector’s item! What are you waiting for? Why are you hesitating? Call now to place your order through the phone… Let the auction begin!
All of the viewers seated in front of the television fixed their eyes on the screen. They saw Lawrenson hesitate after receiving the shaver, before slowly extending it towards the area slightly above his lips. Lineker, who was by the side, thoughtfully raised the mirror in front of Lawrenson, while Alan Hansen cheered from the side.
This sight was extremely comical; Shania was rolling around on the on the sofa, laughing uncontrollably. Although Tang En also laughed very loudly, his eyes never left the television screen at any point.
When the shaver got in contact with Lawrenson’s moustache, the television started playing
Time to Say Goodbye,
the classic song sung by the blind Italian singer, Andrea Bocelli, and the famous high-pitched singer Sarah Brightman. This caused the atmosphere to reach its climax. This was a classic song, and amidst the two world class singers’ melodious voices, Mark Lawrenson’s stern and solemn expression actually created a strange feeling in the viewers’ hearts—it was a comical feeling born of the incompatibility between the solemn atmosphere and the theme of the program.
At that time, all the viewers seated in front of their television to watch this week’s episode of Match of the Day were laughing uncontrollably—of course, Tang En and Shania were no exception.
Tang En laughed so hard that there were tears in his eyes. As he wiped away the tears, Tang En said,
I will always love this song, from now on!
At the same time, the bottom of the screen also displayed the auction figures bid by the viewers. From the original bid of five pounds, the highest bid had already risen to three figures — the newest bid was 141 pounds. For an electric shaver, this was already a ridiculous price, so the number did not change for a long time.
Shania realized that, and gave Tang En a playful suggestion.
Uncle Tony? Why not buy it as a memento?
Tang En froze for a while, before smiling and saying,
That’s a great idea!
He whipped out his phone and called the hotline. After doing as he was told, the system informed him to enter his bid amount.
Here, Tang En hesitated for a while, before decisively entering his bid: 3,000 pounds!
For an electric shaver, a bid of 3,000 pounds was almost inconceivable! But Tang En felt that it was worth it. This was like spoils of war that he had obtained by defeating his enemies. It was something that no amount of money could buy. What if he gave an amount that was too low, and got out-bid by someone else? He did not know whether he would be allowed to re-bid. What if it was an auction that only allowed each person to bid once, in order to prevent acts of mischief that would drive up the price?
After putting all of this into consideration, Tang En decided that he might as well offer a high price right from the start, to make others back off from the auction. Moreover, as long as it was something that he liked, he did not care how much money he spent on it. Even if Tang En had money, happiness was something that was difficult to buy.
The auction price would refresh and appear at the bottom of the screen once every ten minutes. Ever since the 3,000-pound bid came out, the price that flashed across each time remained the same. This persisted all the way until the program ended, and there were no further changes to the price.
After Lawrenson had kept his word and shaved off his moustache, Lineker and Alan Hansen praised his new look all the way until the program ended. Truth be told, Tang En also felt that Lawrenson looked much more spirited and stylish after shaving his moustache.
Match of the Day had been over for less than ten minutes before Tang En received a phone call from the program staff to confirm his bidding details, as well as to obtain his contact details and address. Once he had paid for the shaver, they would mail it out to him.
On the other end, the three people who had just finished the program sat in the studio, chatting as they packed up.
Mark, I’m not joking, I’m saying this completely seriously: you look much more handsome with your moustache shaved!
Lineker said with a smile.
Lawrenson looked at his own reflection in the mirror, before picking his eyebrows and replying,
Perhaps.
Alan Hansen listened to his headphones carefully, before taking them off and saying to his two partners,
The news just came in that we have just broken the highest viewership record for this week, across the five stations’ programs in the same time slot. Mark, beautifully done!
Everyone started laughing.
And one more piece of news… Do you all know who the person who won the auction for the shaver was?
Lineker shrugged his shoulders and said,
It couldn’t be Tony Twain, could it?
Alan Hansen nodded his head and said,
Gary, you are spot on. It was him! Our editor just contacted the winner of the auction for his contact details and name: Midlands County, Wilford district, Branford Gardens, Street thirteen, and his name is Tony Twain. Three thousand pounds, payment received.
Lineker and Lawrenson both looked at each other with immense shock written all over their faces.
Hansen was very satisfied with their display today, and he said with a laugh,
Seems like we really will have more interesting things happening in next season’s Premier League.
