Chapter 40:

I was stunned. I reacted to what he was talking about. My whole body became stiff, and my hand instinctively broke away slightly. He shook it back again: "It's my fault. You shouldn't be left alone in the inn."
I am embarrassed: "I can't blame you..."
He added: "Knowing that you are so stupid, not good at hand, and easy to trust people."
"... Enough of you." I looked at him angrily, "Actually, it's all you..."
But he was interrupted: "I like you."
The huge contrast between before and after made my mind collapse.
The hands were shaking slightly.
But if it sounds so good, it must be a dream. He closed his eyes almost instinctively, and the surroundings were silent, except for the fading of rain outside the window.
Sure enough, it is a dream. Don’t you often hear stories like this. Whoever thinks that something good has happened to the pie in the sky, is full of joy, and who knows that when the chicken is crying, it is only a dream, and it is extremely depressed.
There was a slap in the window, and I jumped up in shock, opened my eyes unpreparedly, and saw a drenched sparrow come in and flutter indiscriminately on the ground. I nervously swept my eyes to the bed. First I entered a pair of shoes. Then I moved it up bit by bit. Mu Yan looked at me dumbfounded: "I'm waiting for your answer. Close your eyes and pretend What does it mean to sleep?"
It was actually true.
I bit my tongue and stammered and asked, "What, what answer?"
He took my hand away from the quilt, held it in his hand, with a consistent look on his face, with a slight smile, and looked into my eyes: "I like you, Afu, do you like me too?"
I looked at him blankly, my head went blank, and my voice sounded calmly: "Do you like it like your sister? If you like it like that, I like it like my brother. You." But I don't know what I'm talking about.
He pulled me out of the quilt a little and lowered his head slightly so that he could look at each other. He looked at me with rare seriousness, saying every word: "What kind of feelings do you think I have for you? I said before that marrying me would have a lot of benefits. If I only marry you in my life, you Would you like to marry me?"
I saw the cold fragrance of Baimei gradually blooming, woven into a white veil, gradually rising in this cold rainy night, gathering the entire small room. It's actually an illusion. But the first time I saw him on that starry night, it was like watching the white plum blossoms all over the mountains on Eryueling. With that smile on his mouth, he looked at me quietly.
The wind poured in from the window frame that was knocked open by the sparrow, and the crape myrtle tree outside the window was swaying full of blooming branches, and the purple flowers glowed darkly in the night.
It is the greatest blessing that God can let us meet again. I imagined in my heart that he would like me. I never thought it would be true, and it never has. He asked me if I wanted to, how could I not.
Me, but I am not even an individual.
I want to hug him, but I dare not.
The living and the dead are impossible, but I am too persistent. This is my favorite person in the world, I carefully cherish him in the bottom of my heart, want to protect him, and never want to hurt him.
Nodding is the easiest thing, but if one day, let him understand that the girl in front of him is a dead person, what should he do? What should I do?
It's like a lifetime, I mustered up the courage to hold his finger and put it trembling to the end of my nose. His look was a little inexplicable, but I dared not look at the expression he would have next, and endured the sorrow and trembled in my heart: "Do you feel...? Mu Yan, I didn't breathe."
The finger on the tip of the nose paused. And when I said that, it seemed that everything could be said frankly: "You are surprised that many times I am not afraid of pain." I bit my lip, and choked out of my throat, because I felt it at all. No pain, no smell of the so-called fragrant flowers, no taste of the delicacies praised in the restaurant. I acted as if I liked eating jade crystal shrimp dumplings, but they actually tasted like chewing wax. I used to like to eat them.
He raised his head and covered his eyes with both hands, and the tears began to fall again, and everything was over. Firmly leaning on the bedclothes, like the only driftwood in the endless ocean: "You said you want to marry me, I am not willing to get it, but you dare to marry me like this?" Everything is over.
For a long time, his cold fingers paused on my ears, and the silver foil mask slowly climbed up to his forehead. I was waiting for him to take off the silver foil that covered my eyebrows with a kind of broken jar.
When the mask was removed, he dared not open his eyes. He must see my lifeless and pale face, and he must see the long scar on my forehead. This ugly girl who is on the verge of the living and the dead, what would he think of me?
I once heard a story about a puppet who fell in love with his master. By coincidence, he was cast by a occultist and turned into a human woman, married to his sweetheart, but the secret technique will eventually fail. After the magic disappeared, the owner was scared to death by the puppet's prototype, and this puppet with the remaining consciousness, beside the fainted owner, used a sharp knife to mutilate himself.
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At this moment, I was like the puppet that had dismembered myself. Her master was scared when she saw her, but he didn't know that she was 10,000 times more scared than him.
The hand stroking the eyebrows slowly went around the forehead, to the left ear, where the scar grew. The last thing I want him to notice. But his hand can stop there, blocking my last bit of courage to sink the boat, and can't say the cruel words that are common in Jun Wei's novels such as "you and I will never meet again in this life."
The temples were flicked away. In the crack of the window lattice, he whispered: "Afu, open your eyes and look at me."
I held my sleeves nervously, feeling that I could not refuse his proposal, and at the same time I was afraid that I would see things I didn't want to see when I opened my eyes. After all emotion triumphed over reason, he opened his eyes in panic and dazzled him. The look on Mu Yan's face was unprecedented, but it was not like a disgusting fear. It was more like facing an uncertain war, almost rigorous.
I stared at him blankly.
His frown stretched out and pulled me closer: "You can tell me these things by yourself, I'm very happy."
I raised my left hand to cover the scar on my forehead: "You, are you not afraid?"
He shook his head, as if he heard something funny: "Why should you be afraid?"
How could I not be afraid? Sometimes I dreamed back at midnight and thought of myself as a living dead. I often couldn't help feeling terrified. Even myself, he accepted it calmly.
The funny appearance of the little girl covering her forehead was reflected in the bronze mirror on the opposite side. I hid my body in the shadow and said bitterly: "I am totally different from the real living person, and, as you see, I am an ugly monster."
He pulled me out of the shadows, and he looked at me seriously, and his eyes looked like I was immersed in a cold pond after being burned by flames. I turned my head to one side in the two heavens of ice and fire, he leaned over, took the arm covering my forehead and held it in his hand: "Why do you feel that I am an ugly monster, if my name moves the world..."
Speaking of this, he lowered his head and chuckled, as if muttering to himself, "I thought it would be... but it didn't really happen." When he raised his head, his right hand stroked the ugly scar on his forehead, "If then I can predict this..." But after all, I didn't say these words. I don't know what he wants to say, but only vaguely understand that it is something I cannot and does not need to understand.
His hand stopped on my cheek: "Be happy, this little scar doesn't damage your beauty. You are the best-looking girl I have ever seen." His thumb swept across the tears under his eyes and looked at me seriously. "Those things have me, you just need to work hard to live before I find a way, can you do it?" Except for nodding, he didn't make extra moves. If this is a dream, it is best not to wake up for the rest of your life.
Just as I nodded vigorously, a jade pendant with a moire pattern was tied around my neck. The mutton white jade gleamed in front of him. He looked at the masterpiece on my chest, and the corner of his mouth made a nice smile: "This is a job offer. I gave you the most important thing my mother left for me. Me what?"
I don’t know what to give him. I searched my whole body and turned out everything. There was half a bottle of wound plaster left, the jade-carved tiger from him, and half of him secretly painted. Xiao, there is also the open-cut white hosta that was specially bought for him but has not been able to be sent out.
He looked at me curiously: "This is..."
I pushed these things in front of him a little bit: "You, you choose whatever you want." I have no money and can't afford any heavy and good things. I only hope that he will like one of these gadgets. .
He looked at me for a long time, then picked up the white hosta: "You painted that picture to buy this hairpin for me?"
I nodded embarrassedly, and explained to him a little embarrassingly: "I heard that this jade is from ancient jade. The hairpin that came out has a history of two hundred years. Whether it’s a carver, it’s made by a famous craftsman, boss. It must be three hundred gold baht..."
Before he finished speaking, he leaned forward when he saw the dim candlelight and kissed my lips without warning. Feel the warm breath on the cheeks. I stared at him blankly, not knowing that all girls would close their eyes at times like this. The man close at hand had long eyelashes and a smile in the corner of his eyes. I'm so useless, I can't even kiss, but he patiently dealt with him, and induced me to open my lips slightly, allowing him to gently. Thinking of the twists and turns of this road, the corners of his eyes were sour, and tears couldn't help falling.
He touched my forehead, reached out his hand to wipe away the tears that were constantly pouring out, and laughed softly: "Crybaby."
I knelt in front of him, put my arms around his neck and sobbed to argue, "I am not a crying ghost."
His hands messed up my hair: "Oh? What's the point, let me hear it?"
I leave him a little bit: "Well, I am a crying ghost. But crying is not a shame. I think tears are the last thing in the world that need to be forcibly taken. Sometimes I want to hold back and make others think I am Very strong, but I can’t bear it when I can’t help it, because later I understood that being strong is just a kind of heart. Crying is not not being strong. After crying, I can stand up and clearly understand what path to take. What kind of thing I want to do, I want to be such a person. You think, if I can’t even cry, what should I use to prove my fears and worries? How can I prove that I’m still alive? It."
The candlelight reflected the eyes of Mu Yan's deep sea, as if stars fell in, but the wind and rain outside the window were silent.
For a long time, he held me in his arms: "Afu, you can cry to me as much as you want in the future."
I lay on his shoulders, as if stepping into a huge fantasy, which is my heart's longing, and my Huaxu state. His dark hair brushed my cheeks, a small tree grew from the bottom of my heart, and a tree of gleaming flowers bloomed, and the shadow of the embrace cast on the plain bed curtain, filling my eyes.
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