On the way, he kept asking himself why he was rushing home. He had no answer until he pushed open the door and saw Cheng Qingchong squat down to untie his shoes for him. He realized that he wanted to come home because he wanted to share the joy with her.
He wanted to tell her that he had just gotten the investment from Golden Wings, his company products were going out to the market, and his company was going to be saved.
When he realized the truth of his thought, his heart was filled with anxiety just like how he felt when he escaped in a hurry that morning. He moved his gaze away from her all flustered. After changing the shoes, he dashed into the bedroom and then the shower.
During the shower, he managed to calm himself down.
The warm water evoked the accumulated exhausted from his many days of endless nights. When he got out of the shower, he was so tired that he collapsed into bed without even drying his hair.
When she came over to patiently and kindly help him dry his hair… it caused his heart to turn with emotions once more. Losing control, he pulled her into his embrace and even mumbled so many heartfelt words to her.
He thought that by telling her what was hiding inside his heart under the pretext of drunkenness, he would feel much better since the stuff would have left his system. However, he ended up not only kissing her but also uttering her name.
He was made scared by himself. His mind was a mess. Perhaps he was afraid that she might see the chaos in his heart, or perhaps he might end up regretting the cruelty that he had put her through. In any case, he was scared. He hated feeling scared, so without thinking about it, he went for the cruelest action to make this end as soon as possible.
In a move that shamed even himself, he called out Song Song’s name.
He believed that her heart would have died already.
He believed that, after Mrs. Cheng left tomorrow, there would be nothing left between them anymore.
He believed that the unfamiliar fear would finally leave him be.
Yes, that was what he believed, and it had to be true.
Qin Yinan continued to hypnotize himself silently, trying to forget the pain that gripped his heart when that woman’s tears fell into his face earlier. He tried to ignore the woman who was standing out alone in the balcony; he tried to pretend to not hear the silent weeping of the woman out there; he tried to allow tiredness and sleepiness to overwhelm him. He forced his eyes closed and forced himself to go to sleep.
Even in his dream, he reminded himself, everything would go as planned; everything would return back to normal.
…
When Cheng Qingchong returned from the balcony, it was already two hours later.
Qin Yinan had long since fallen asleep. The room had an internal heater, but for some reason, she felt it was much colder than the open balcony.
She stared at Qin Yinan in bed with a pair of red eyes for a long time before to the side of his bed. She studied his sleeping face and the tears that she thought had dried started to fall again.
She knelt down beside the bed and reached out to very lightly caress his face.
She knew this was probably the last time she could touch him again.
Yinan… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have used you for the sake of Big Boss… I shouldn’t have tricked you with the child that doesn’t even exist in the first place… I’m really sorry…
