Chapter 22: Xie Minfan, "White Deer Changming"

I remember when she was only 3 years old. Tiny head, chubby arms, dark eyes. Everyone who has seen her praises her beauty.
"This little girl is so pretty, she must be a beauty when she grows up!"
At that time, I was always happy and proud. Yan Sheng inherited me and his strengths. In my eyes, she has a kind of beautiful beauty from childhood.
What's more, she was so well behaved when she was a child.
Always ask my mother to hold, always stick to me and refuse to let go. This made her father jealous. But is there any way, she is the other soul falling from me, she is my heart.
I teach math in a small school. Her father is an ordinary worker. We don't earn much, but we are always happy. In summer, Dad would take her to swim in the stream. In winter, my family gathered around the brazier and I told her a story.
We are so happy. Every minute and every second seems to be a gift from heaven. Because of the arrival of this baby, we have made our ordinary life no longer ordinary.
Later, she grew up day by day. As always beautiful, but also began to have rebellion, and have unwillingness to share with her mother.
It's always troublesome for girls to be too beautiful. I looked at the boy who followed her home every day in junior high school, and watched her secretly buy lipstick and apply lipstick for herself. I was always angry. At that time, her father always smiled and advised me: "Forget it ... forget it, the girl grows up like this, you can't always control her." But I didn't follow it, I taught her time and time again, forbid her And those boys. I threw away the cheap lipstick she bought.
At that time, the little girl also had a temper, and closed the door with a cry, "whine", and did not talk to me for several days.
I didn't care. Loving father and mother, tutoring is good for her in the future.
But the gap between Shengsheng and me probably started from that time.
In high school, she started to become quiet. Even though I would still find the letter the boy wrote to her in her schoolbag. But before I blame it, she would say faintly: "Mom, you don't need to worry about them, a group of little boys are childish." I didn't know what to say for a moment.
I think she must have a boyfriend. But I haven't seen that guy and can't find the evidence. And she always doesn't talk much at home. She wears headphones, listens to songs, or reads books when she eats. It seems that she has a world of her own, and neither my father nor I can get in.
I'm a little sad, but it's always good. After all, the child's innocence was there, kind and optimistic, and now maybe there is some rebellion, just like an adult.
The student's grades have always been ordinary, and the college entrance examination played well, and he was admitted to the undergraduate. For this reason, her father and I were extremely happy. Sheng Sheng was also very happy and said, "Dad, mom, wait for me to make a lot of money in the future so that you can have a good life." Her father said busyly, "OK, OK!" I smiled and said, "Mom doesn't want you to make a lot of money , You live a good life, healthy, safe, and fulfilling, just fine. "" Cut ... "Shousheng off, seems to bother my dogmatism, but the child is still happy after all, after eating that day, always Holding our hands to chat. As if back to the past, back to a family intimate days.
My uncle has finally grown up.
After going to college, Shengsheng is like a flying bird. He rarely goes home, but often calls. I know that for her beauty and cheerfulness, she must be like a fish in the university. Many people like it and many people pursue it. I also told her on the phone: "You are now grown up. If you really want to deal with people, the first thing is character. It ’s good for you. The family conditions are decent. It doesn't matter how you look ..." At that time, she always Interrupted me: "Mom ... I have a sense of it myself." Still refused to tell me in detail.
The accident happened suddenly.
Yun Sheng's father was killed in a production accident and he can never return. The accident was caused by the improper operation of co-workers, but the co-workers' homes were equally poor. So, we ended up with very modest compensation.
Sheng Sheng rushed back overnight, crying holding his father's body. I also cry. But after crying, I still have to wash vegetables and cook because I can't make my daughter hungry. At that time, the uncle looked at me, crying alive, then hugged me and said, "Mom, don't be sad. Mom, I will take good care of you. Mom, Dad looks at us in the sky."
I was sensible overnight.
She goes home whenever she has a vacation, and goes home to accompany me, buy food, cook, and clean the house. A phone call almost every day. I also gradually knew that she would go to work after studying. Since the second semester, she does not have to pay tuition and living expenses at home. My pain of bereavement has gradually subsided, but I am very worried about her. I advised her: "Student, don't always work, and have some money at home. You talk more with your classmates and it will help you in your future work."
She didn't mind, saying, "I know what I'm doing. They have father and mother to help arrange work. I'm different from them. I have to work hard."
When I heard this, I didn't say anything, I just felt sad and weak.
We are parents. We are so incompetent. Such a good child can't give her a better life and future.
For a period of time, my unit went on a summer vacation and visited her in the city where she lived. She is very happy, and she also finds a way to let me live in a house rented by her classmates. During that time, our mother and daughter also had a great time. She had classes every day and went to work. She returned to that house very late. I was also able to see this big city, a beautiful and prosperous life.
At that time, she said, "Mom, when I graduate, rent a house like this, and come and live with me when you're on vacation."
I said with a smile.
Once I was mopping the floor, and when I looked up, I saw her in the room, wearing headphones, and smiling happily at the computer. It was an indescribable smile, and my heart moved. When she didn't notice, I glanced from behind.
I see a QQ number, the head is a man. The chat history of the two has already been a lot. The latest message from that person was:
Your body is so beautiful. I will be responsible to you.
...
I don't know how to describe my feelings. I seemed a little flustered about what I did that day. In the evening, I saw Sheng Sheng sleeping very peacefully in bed. I opened the door, stood on the balcony, and stared at the starry sky, suddenly relieved.
When the child grows up, she will have her own life. Her father was right, don't interfere anymore.
As a child, she also yearns for love and desires to have a dependency. And that reliance will not be the mother.
However, after all, she couldn't help but told her side by side to guard against men and protect herself. I was so unwilling to talk to me. I had to give up.
If I knew that there would be an accident on that tour, I would never let her go.
The child has been too hard in recent years, so he told me that he wanted to go out and play, I raised my hands to agree, and gave her this month's bonus. I thought she must have a companion. Wherever she thought she was used to being independent and had no real friends, she went alone.
...
On the fifth day after Hyosung disappeared, I got home from work and called the police. I still got a sorry answer: "We are still checking. Sister Xie, think again, is it possible for the child to go something else Somewhere to play, did n’t I tell you? Or no money on the signal? "
"No! No!" I almost shouted, "She will definitely call me, not so unexplained. The child must be in trouble, be sure to find her! Find her!"
But I couldn't find it.
Police said there was evidence that she stayed in the ancient city for a few days before going to a nearby county.
Then disappeared.
Someone has seen her, but no one has seen where she went.
My baby, like a drop of rain falling on the ground, just evaporated and disappeared.
But she is my only water.
...
I quit my job and sold the house. I took all my savings and started looking.
I searched every corner of that county. No, why can't I find it.
I looked there for a year, and the money was almost spent.
Then I came to the ancient city.
One day, I was staying in a hostel, looking at myself in the mirror, suddenly frightened like a dream.
Is that me?
I used to be a teacher, and the most I did was housework. When I celebrated my birthday the year before, I was still bragging about me, saying that my mother was beautiful, young, and had white skin. Just like my sister. Although the child's words are exaggerated, I already have a few white hairs. But where is it now in the mirror?
The complexion is no longer fair and tan. Fingers are thick and dirty, with gray hair. Once I could n’t kill a chicken, I had to feed her dad. Now I can pick up a bag of sacks with one hand, just for a change before lunch, and then I'm full and continue to look for a baby.
That night, I was a little uncomfortable.
I think if she finds a baby, she can't recognize her mother, what should I do?
I also reported the QQ number to the police, but later the police told me that after the incident of the disappearance of the child was confirmed, the boy was in college and had sufficient evidence of absence, which had nothing to do with the case. I wanted to get the boy's contact information, but the police rejected it.
I knew I had to find a job, otherwise I couldn't find another job. An uncle who worked together said to me: "If you want to make more money, you can go to Yao's house. Her family's salary is high, but ... the work is not done by people."
"I said that the people in Yao's family were not human. A man married five wives." Another elder brother said, "I heard that two years ago, I also found a female college student and wanted to be a young child. Later, the girl did not meet. Yes, said it was off. "
I didn't care at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I went wrong. I chased the elder brother and asked him what the girl looked like and how old he was, but he didn't know more about it.
I stood at the gate of Yao's compound and thought carefully.
Xu Sheng's disappearance went to L County but found no trace.
Female college students from previous years.
A man, a man with a wealth of nearly half a hundred years, married five wives and was not satisfied.
They seem to have nothing to do with Yan Sheng, but I seem to be driven by a strange and strong premonition, walking towards the Yao family.
I knocked on the door and went in.
...
He had three days a week and slept in the room of his grandmother Ming Lan.
None of them had ever mentioned the name "Bao Sheng".
He and Ming Lan's room, only an old maid can approach, the rest of us can not.
When he sees young and beautiful girls, he always takes a closer look. The next year will be their father.
...
Zhao Xia is different from them. She is always silent, always sad, and never hits me. I once mentioned to her unintentionally: "I heard that Mr. Yao had planned to marry a female college student before, why didn't he see him later?" Her expression at the time was almost beyond description. She turned her head, didn't answer, and didn't look at me.
My heart seemed to be hit hard by a stone hammer. I almost couldn't bear it. I was going to ask her if she was born. is not it?
But I looked at the large courtyard, but still held back. I don't have any evidence. The Yao family is rich and powerful. I must be patient. Until that day.
I say to myself many times in my heart every day: I will definitely find a baby.
I think I'm getting closer to the truth.
Later, I wanted to understand. It does n’t matter if there is no evidence. As long as I can be sure that the death was indeed killed by them, I will kill Yao Yuange and all of them. What's the matter, their fate is fate, but life is not fate?
Later, I slowly got used to waiting. Get used to the scolding of the Yao family, get used to living like this. I have not lived like a person, but only in this way, can I still live as an individual if I have suspicion and cruelty in them.
The world is so big that no one can find it. I have nowhere else to go.
...
It was an early morning under a light rain. When I cleaned at the front desk of the inn, I heard a young man come in.
"Hello, a big bed room." The man said to the receptionist with a smile.
I kept my head down and continued to sweep the floor. Now I like to do repeated mechanical cleaning work. Watching the ground become a little bit clean, a strange thrill came to my heart.
"Are you a college student? Working here?" The man said.
The receptionist smiled and said no.
"Looks like a student." The man said, "This is my QQ number: 5643XXX321, add it."
My hands are frozen.
Looking up, I saw his face.
He also noticed my gaze, and looked at me, and looked away indifferently.
That night, I sat for a long time in the narrow, shady maid's room. I watched the drizzle falling from the sky, watched the wind blow through the window, and blow the sheets beside me, as if who was accompanying me. I suddenly realized that everything was an arrangement of fate. It turns around, it gives me despair, but it also gives me hope.
You, I know, you are here.
You are saying, Mom, don't wait, let's do it.