Chapter 57: Ke Qianfanwai "Mulan Star"

What impressed me most was the red dress of Ke Ai. Beautiful like a veil.
At that time, I followed her and shouted, "Love, love!" She would stop and smile at me: "Brother, brother, follow your sister!"
I nodded vigorously: "Hmm."
We went up the mountain to catch bugs, planted trees in front of Grandpa's door, and went to school with schoolbags. The two of us look like each other. Sometimes, I will dress as her, she will dress as me, and exchange for a day. Grandpa can see the difference at a glance, but others will admit that they are wrong.
Ke Ai is my idol. She is always so generous, optimistic and speaks a lot. She is the monitor and a member of the study. All classmates and teachers like her.
And me, I'm like a little tail behind her, a little shadow. Just stand with your elder sister.
The teacher said: "This Ke Qian is like a girl. Ke Ai is like a boy. It is not easy for him to take on the life of the two siblings. It is not easy for me to be young." I feel very proud, I have such an elder sister, who calls you no?
At that time, I hadn't heard a word called "another me in the world."
Later, I saw it during the Japanese drama. Everyone was watching. With my eyes on these words, tears were about to fall.
Maybe from then on, I am full of love for everything that is fantasy, beautiful, and warm.
Because in the world of cosplay, I am a peerless master and a king.
I can also be a woman, my lost sister, Ke Ai.
The rich relative came to select the candidate in the fifth grade of primary school. At the time I didn't know what their arrival meant. I watched them talking around my sister all the time and asked her if she was Captain Young and if she was the youngest. The sister nodded timidly. They let her perform a show again, and her sister praised an Xinjiang dance, which made them smile.
At that time, Grandpa was very old, squinting, sitting and smoking aside, saying, "Every child, every child has a life. As long as they all live well, that's fine." After that, he looked at me meaningfully. A glance. I didn't understand his eyes then, but I kept this scene in my heart for many years.
Later, they wanted to come and talk to me again. I watched them vigilantly, hiding behind my sister. When their hands touched the corners of my clothes, I burst into a scream, rushed into the house, and closed the door.
What they discussed later, I don't know.
In those few nights, I always saw my elder sister secretly wiping tears. I asked, "Sister, what are you crying for? Did they bully you?" Because in those days, they always took their sister out. Don't take me.
"No ..." My sister sobbed. "They are good to me. They bought me a lot of things, and they bought a lot of health products for grandpa! Do you know that those things are expensive?"
"I don't care." I muttered.
The sister also said: "Ke Qian, if I leave one day, you have to study hard and take care of grandpa, you know?"
I grabbed her hand and said, "I don't want to be apart from you!"
I didn't know the day my sister left. By the time I and my grandpa bought rice and oil, her belongings at home had been emptied. My sister left a letter to me:
"Ko Qian:
I don't know if my choice is right, but before my mother died, she told me that we must take good care of both of us. Uncles and aunts are rich and have no children. They want a child.
Grandpa doesn't have much savings anymore, and his parents don't have much money left. They said that Grandpa couldn't afford both of us. I'm an older sister, and I'm about to worry about this family.
I would be happier if they were willing to take you to the United States. But now there is no way, they must ask me to go.
Dad once said a poem, called ‘Bao Jianfeng from the sharpened’. Only by going to a better university and earning more money in the future can we and our grandpa live a happy life. In the United States, there is a lot of money.
I'm gone, don't miss me. I will definitely come back, I swear with my life.
Ke Ai. "
That was the first parting between me and Ke Ai in life. At that time, I was so angry that I did n’t eat or ignore people. For a few days, my grandfather was so angry that he picked me up and scolded, "Ke Ai can go to the United States. Good luck! Otherwise, I'm a bad old man, with you two, what can be done! "
I cried and ignored Grandpa.
But how long can I be angry with her.
I began to look forward to it every day, expecting her to call and expecting her to write a letter.
But never.
The head teacher saw that I ran to the school mailbox every day, and comforted me, "Child, your sister has come to the United States and is unfamiliar with her life. So how can a little child find a place to write to you and make overseas calls? La."
"Oh."
But where did I know at the time, this difference took ten years?
When he was admitted to college, his grandfather died. I carried a simple bag and came to the big city of Beijing. Things are a little different from what I imagined. When I looked up at my roommates and smiled, they looked at my clothes and humble backpacks, just smiling and not cold or hot.
You know, I felt like a caterpillar. In the sun, the antennae were stretched out carefully. Others avoided it disgustingly. So I immediately shrank back into the shadow under the leaves.
Four years of college, I have never had too close contact with four people in the same bedroom. I always feel that I don't fit in with them, and I am not alone. Sometimes they go to drink beer, barbecue, watch football, and never call me. I am sleeping at room temperature, or trying out a new set of Cosplay women's clothing and makeup.
They don't like me, and I don't like them either.
But I really hate the feeling of being isolated, although always being isolated. I make hot water for 4 people every morning and I clean the bedroom every day. They called for truancy, borrowed books, and copied me for the exam. I tried to do what they said. I think so, I will be better in the bedroom. At least not to be taken lightly.
Establishing Yueying Animation Club was an opportunity. Alumni Jiang Xueran came to me and said, "Ke Qian, I have seen you perform many times. You are the best cosplayer I have ever seen. We plan to set up a club and would like to invite you to join as a founder. Are you interested? Do it together? "
I was really incredible at the time.
Being respected and needed like this.
"Oh, okay, okay." I said, "I'm willing to participate."
"So ..." Jiang Xueran asked, "Do you have any thoughts and requirements?"
I immediately answered: "I have no requirements."
At that time, it seemed that there was a flash of light passing by Jiang Xueran's lenses. But how did I see people's hearts then?
Brand new community, everyone has a common hobby. I am still the founder! For me, it was the world that opened a bright window in front of me again! I devoted all my energy to Yueying. We rented the cheapest house, and I stayed there 24 hours a day. Every inch of wallpaper was posted by myself. I have n’t eaten for a week, I just eat instant noodles, I bought the little monk decorations I once loved but could n’t bear, and put them in the studio;
I thought I finally got it all.
However, they did not expect that they were no different from others.
They are also lazy, greedy for cheap, vying for a little bonus. They need to rely on me for a place, but they seem reluctant to admit it.
I'm still working very hard, trying to prepare performance clothes for everyone, trying to save money just to buy a new set of props, and trying to clean every corner of the studio. They even told me to buy breakfast, run errands, work ... I went.
I just want to work very hard, maintain this group, don't break up.
But what's the use?
Gradually, they came to the community more and more diligently, and they became less and less good to me.
Later, I also realized that it was not their problem, not the problem of others. is my problem.
Everyone is like this, that must be my problem. Just like Wen Xiaohua said, I'm too unrealistic, too evasive of responsibility, and too singularly non-personal, right?
...
"No, Ah Qian, it's not your problem. Even if everyone around you does that, they are wrong."
She said to me like this, soft and patient: "What's wrong with having dreams, earnestness, hard work, and being kind to everyone? They don't know how to cherish, cherish such a wonderful person like you."
I looked up at her, tears almost fell.
Just like the first day I met her again.
Ke Ai was so beautiful and excellent, apologetic and gentle looking at me. She is really right in front of me.
She is so stupid and keeps saying I'm sorry. How could I blame her? In my heart, she and I have always been the same person.
Those three months were my happiest time. Ke Ai was so nice, kind and smart. She took out all her savings, part of which was still supported by her adoptive parents and asked me to start a business and run an animation company.
As long as I'm with her, I stare at her, see how she raises her hands, and how she talks. She is so perfect. When I was alone in my cabin at night, I couldn't help imitating her. Sometimes, as a child, I would pester her to exchange clothes with me, exchange identities, and even go to a class for her. I wore a silk scarf, covering most of my face, and then squeezed my throat to learn how to speak. None of her classmates recognized it.
And occasionally, when she comes to my cabin, I will also put on her cosplay costume and make up her. She is so beautiful, more beautiful than me.
I'm afraid everyone thinks about it and didn't say that the money belongs to my sister. I said that some venture capitalists have liked our community, and they have realized that we have realized cash in the past. I think this will definitely give you more confidence. And they seemed to be moved by me that night.
I thought everything was moving in a better direction.
I thought that I could finally live a life that was only ideal.
...
I stood outside the window that night and kept crying. I watched Ke Ai lying motionless on the ground, watching them put her in a woven bag. I just feel that my eyes can't see the stars in the sky, and the ground under my feet. How can life be like this, and how can people become so unrecognizable?
Ke Ai, Ke Ai, such a beautiful and pure girl.
How could you lose your life on such an ordinary and quiet night?
I feel the whole person, just like in a dream.
But I was so timid. I covered my mouth and didn't let myself make a sound. In the corner outside the house, I watched them carrying Ke Ai's body and walked away. Because I know that if I show up at this moment and wait for me, I will die.
It turned out that death was so easy. Right by your side, in the ugly desires of the heart.
...
I washed the floor of the wooden house over and over again, and washed the pig's blood, tomato sauce, and so on with the method learned online, until Ke Ai's blood was completely invisible. I cut my finger again, leaving my blood in many places.
...
Later, I sat in front of the mirror and passed the hair in my hand to the hairdresser.
The barber was startled. "What is this?"
I replied, "Receive."
The hairdresser's complexion was a little unsightly. But after I gave him a few bills, I didn't say anything, and I tied them carefully.
I looked at the person in the mirror, black hair grew like a miss.
I used eyebrow pencil and powder puff to trace her delicate eyebrow shape.
I took out red and smeared it lightly.
I looked up and smiled lightly at the hairdresser.
The hairdresser froze.
I picked up my bag, put on my lady coat, and walked into the drizzle outside the door.
I put on a silk scarf, covering my neck and half of my face.
The heels are crisp, and the rain flows around my feet to form a stream. Look at my figure, Ting Ting, look at my red and white hair, look at my stabbing Qin, look at me ...
Finally, I no longer succumb to this world whose dreams have long been shattered.
I looked up and watched the clear sky finally clear after Xinyu temporarily rested.
I smiled so happily.
Ke Qian, I am Ke Ai. I am back.