Chapter 77: .desire

There are twelve kinds of suffering, and the first is poverty.
Surrounded by darkness, Li Yi was completely immersed in his heart. He suddenly felt a deep pain, as if he was at the bottom of the society, inexplicable, and the hard work only exchanged for a meager income. The future is dazed, powerless, and distressed, and the emotions that accompany poverty are pinned in his heart like a needle.
"Instead of suffering like this, I’m not going to die. The world of the deceased is eternal. I haven’t done anything bad in my life. After death, I will go to heaven to enjoy! That is my best destination!" Li Yi The thought of death occurred in my heart.
The impoverished emotions infused by the miracles were a hundred times stronger than they really felt, and produced a huge effect in an instant.
A sharp knife appeared in Li Yi's hand, with a sharp blade and a chill. This is the tool he uses to end his life. As long as he gently wipes his wrist, he will die in a comfortable vein bleeding, which is a test. He also failed, and he will return with a feather, leaving endless regrets.
"The feeling of forced infusion is very realistic, but it is still too fake for people who have really experienced poverty. Besides, the rich side is not what I want." Li Yi's eyes restored to Qingming, the knife in his hand Also disappeared.
The second suffering that followed was hunger. Li Yi suddenly felt the pain in his abdomen being emptied, as if his stomach had turned into a black hole devouring everything, desperately craving for food, and his eyes were red and running wildly , Suddenly, there was a hearty banquet in front of me, where the finest ham, whole pieces of golden roast goose, exquisite bacon and large pieces of lamb chops, delicious aged and dry red, but they were all The highly toxic logo posted on it means that Li Yi is also on the road to death while satisfying his appetite.
"Ah... ah, you can eat such a delicious meal, what is death? Is hunger not as painful as death?" Li Yi's hunger reached its peak at this moment!
He grabbed a leg of lamb, and the strong meaty smell made him feel like he was in a wonderful cloud! Trembling, sent this delicious taste of death to his mouth! It seems as if a devil is driving his soul.
"Ah!" Li Yi suddenly woke up like a nightmare, shouted, and dropped the poisonous lamb leg on the ground. "For a little food, I discarded my precious life. What is the reason? I don’t Understand! The test of hunger is over, life is precious, and some things are not comparable, but new emotions follow.
'Weak','powerless', Li Yi suddenly felt like his body was being emptied. He could not lift up any strength. He felt that he was small and could only be trampled by others. His dignity had become a thin layer, he The sense of existence is extremely weak, the tide of fate is surging, crumbling him cruelly, throwing it up, and falling on the reef on the shore. Weak, humble is everything he has.
"Why am I so weak, what else can I do? I can't do anything, I can only steal my life..." Li Yi knelt down on the ground in frustration, there was nothing he could do, as if he wanted to be at ease with all this, "accustomed That’s it, I’m destined to be so small, I’m born to be inferior..."
"Wait, what nonsense I'm talking about, my ambition can shine even when buried in dust, I came into the world in a humble, why should I carry the humble regret to death? Strength, prestige, status , Wealth, all I deserve! No one can stop me from getting them!" Li Yi suddenly straightened his waist, and he looked down proudly on everything.
The next pain is humiliation, irresistible humiliation, verbal slurs, contempt for the eyes, environmental discrimination, injustice, aversion, brutal treatment, abuse, standing on the side of axioms, accusations of righteous words, he thought To refute, but the mouth was sewed, and at the same time, it also suffered a huge insult on the flesh.
"What crime did I commit? It's unfair to suffer such humiliation for no reason! I want to complain!" Li Yi shouted in his heart, but he faced a group of selfish people, acting as a substitute The role of the Lamb of Sin, even if he yelled out, was of no avail, only a few more scars were added to his body and heart.
Sorrow and anger, desperation after nothing can be done, deep desperation like the backwaters, it seems that this group of people is at will, at random, affixed with various labels, wantonly played, and finally left a dirty brush in the historical record.
"I'm not wrong! It's you filthy people, put on me all kinds of crimes!" Li Yi's heart suddenly burst into a powerful force, his sewn lips were broken away by him, bloody, he roared out of this After the sentence, the audience was silent.
The pain after humiliation is injury, followed by cold, burning, drowsiness, loneliness, exhaustion, suffocation, bereavement... Li Yi will explode with a strong willpower deep in his heart every time he faces a breakdown He found how fragile he was, but his heart was extremely powerful. After twelve pains and tortures, his will became firmer, as diamonds were clear and hard, and each facet reflected a brilliant brilliance.
"The third level has also passed, which is really good. The reward of this level is four times the reward of the first level. If converted into Devil Stone, it will be four. There are seven of the three levels. It is an invaluable treasure, although this level is extremely difficult. On several occasions, I almost sink into it, breaking my confidence, failing to say, this life will have a mental handicap, equal to waste, and can no longer progress, but stick to my heart and pass the tribulation, in addition to the reward on the surface In the past, although Li Yi had a lot of ingenuity and deep wits, he was too aggressive to cause too much murderousness, and he bleeds at every turn. The tricks he made were all life and death, and he did not leave his own way. Now he seems like Matured some.
"I have suffered in the past, a lot of injustice, my heart is full of distrust and hatred of others, indifference to life, contempt for morality, and too insidious and cold, these are not correct ways." Li Yi reflected on his own experience, and some things were done too much Insidiousness is just to vent the injustice in your heart.
But the miracle did not give him too much time to think, and the fourth level also began.
The fourth test is "wisdom".
Li Yi suddenly opened his eyes suddenly, bright sunlight projected from the window covered with blue-green vines on the felt covered with his body, the gray-brown felt was warm and thick, and it was suitable for protecting against the autumn cold.
Beside him is a red copper wall clock, which shows the time at six in the morning.
With a slight sleepiness, Li Yi got out of bed. He was wearing a white pajamas and a bright purple tulip embroidered on his chest. The neckline was very open and the materials were exquisite.
"Oh, dear son, you woke up and prepared to come to the table for breakfast. After eating, you still have to go to a public college to study. The reason why you didn't send you to the boarding school was because you were afraid of losing weight." With Li Yi's name.
"College?" Li Yi suddenly felt something strange when he heard the word, and he seemed to have some forgotten memories, but instinct and memory told him that he is now a child of a middle-class family, and his father is a respected police officer, His mother is a lawyer. He should be quiet now. He should be educated to go to public colleges after breakfast. Mathematics and philosophy are the main courses. He likes drawing very much. He has a good relationship with art teacher Aleutian, and he is unwilling [ Begonia House www.lvshuw.com] A little secret intended for parents to know. He and a girl named Elsa are getting better at the college. They even secretly kiss each other and touch each other's green body.
The milk at breakfast was warm and fresh, the yellow fried egg was crisp and delicious, and the mouth and stomach were immediately filled with sweetness and heat. These happy feelings expelled all the unnatural doubts in his heart, as if life should be like this.
I don’t know why. He thought about many problems today, such as ideals, such as love, and some weird little things. These thoughts made him unable to show his face, and a smile appeared on the corner of his mouth. The flower bed made of red bricks in the corners was covered with leaves of camellia, but the roses were still blue, but the flowers had faded, leaving smooth oval fruits, which were very attractive. Li Yi always wanted to pick them Come down to play, or give it to the little lover in that college, and wipe out what secrets are hidden in it, and finally cut it with broken glass, maybe there is a small worm that can smoke cigars, a fat link body, soft Like a silk pillow.
Turning around the corner, the grocery store is his favorite place. There is always a box of sugar cubes on the counter painted in dark yellow. Each piece is as big as a thumb nail, and it is as hard as an ice cube. Covered with clean and transparent glass, the red is cherry candy, the blue is blueberry candy, and the purple is gardenia sugar. Although you can see through the glass, there is still some mystery.
The lady boss seemed to get up early today, wearing a loose orange dressing gown and sitting on a chair, looking through the thick stack of morning papers under the lens. The triangular table in front of her was filled with cookies and half a glass of cherry shochu.
What Li Yi cared about was the box of sugar on the counter. Although a few copper coins could buy a lot, his mother always told him not to eat sweets, which was very harmful to his developing teeth.
The college is very close to here. After walking uphill, I saw a wooden sign that reads "Near the college, passing vehicles slow down." The rain blew up the joints, so the teachers fixed their heads to their necks with wires Thanks for working for the college for decades.
Sitting in class, he is always a little absent-minded, as if he has forgotten something, that is an important thing-why is he here? Who is he?
"How can I think of these strange things, is it adolescence, thinking wildly? I am Li Yi, studying in the college, what is doubtful?" Li Yi tried to push those thoughts out of his mind, at this time, his little girlfriend Elsa looked back at him with a smile.
God, how bright and beautiful she is, her lips are rosy and crystal clear, as if rising from the sea, and she is still glowing with the water vapor. Her eyelashes are black and bright, and her neck is white like a swan.
"Li Yi, please answer this question." The teacher of the math class is a rigorous old man. He has big bags under his eyes, a pair of black glasses on the bridge of his nose, and a blue-grey striped shirt under his gray woolen coat. Holding a redwood pointer, he tapped the blackboard lightly.
Li Yi is his proud student, and has always been attracted attention by being clever and clever. It is really a pleasure to hear him answer questions in a logical language.
After class, Li Yi came to the corner of the college garden alone. A thick banyan tree blocked his figure. This is the place where he and his girlfriend often meet. The birds are chirping around, and the leaves rustle in the wind. And tranquility.
Elsa wore a pure white dress, interspersed with pearls, and compared to her beauty, these white and flawless pearls looked dull and dull.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
The dialogue is concise, but full of rich and inseparable emotions, the two embraced together, leaning against the rough trunk of the banyan tree, time seems to have lost the direction of flow.
"What is love?" Li Yi's thoughts suddenly and unreasonably rose in his heart. "Love? I know I love her. The happiness and trust brought by this love are so clear, but the love itself is pale, why? I just settle in this form, but I can’t confirm whether I love her from instinct or from the heart?
Li Yi was lost in thought for a long time, he looked up, "Who am I?"
"I’m Li Yi, I’m an orphan, and I’m from Mis. My affair is too miserable. I have never loved anyone, and no one has ever loved me, so love is empty and pale in my heart. I have no love, These illusions, as well as the hints in my heart, are flawless, but the illusion is based on the enlargement of reality, and I have no love in my heart, so the illusion cannot be produced. It is a pity, farewell, Elsa." Li Yi from the environment Wake up and restore the memory, so that the fourth pass is also passed.
"Oh, probably only a person with a broken heart like me can pass this level!" Li Yi smiled sadly. The third level and the fourth level are all tests of the soul. He found that his heart was so distorted. , Sadly, it is difficult to correct it.
"The tragic life of the past turned me into a twisted person, but I am not the first nor the last. The world is balanced. This twisted world has created me, and my existence is the truth." Li Yi suddenly understood For this reason, the entire human race is distorted, and he is only one component of the distortion.
"This is the beginning of destruction!"
The fifth hurdle is perseverance.
The environment around Li Yi changed. He was in a dark cave with rock walls on all sides. There was only a small chisel next to him. He had to slowly penetrate a few kilometers of rock to see the sky again. The speed, he has to chisel for more than ten years!
Of course, you can also choose to give up, then the fifth level, that is, the last level fails,
He was digging in this way. In such an environment without comparison, the time is terrible. Sometimes, digging has become a mechanized action. He wants to give up. After all, the rewards of the four levels are already very rich, but He knew that if he gave up, it would be his greatest regret and stain. Once he escaped, he would never be able to untie this knot.
Li Yi excavated and recalled the books he had read. The deep wisdom in the book, he couldn’t help but recite it quietly when he thought about the wonderful places. This passed a year, but there is still a long way to go before the rock layers are dug through Then he thought about and studied the tactics generated by the spirit coordination, various opportunities and possible accidents, and it took another year.