Chapter 342: Begging for death

"Poison?" Joan felt more and more wrong as he listened, and asked his grandfather cautiously, "There are so many kinds of poisons. Which one are you referring to?"
"The more toxic the better, the better... the poison that people will die as soon as they drink it..." the old man Tyre replied quietly.
The ominous premonition in Joan's heart grew stronger, so he pretended to shake his head calmly: "Grandpa, I won't mix such a violent poison. Take a good rest and don't think about it."
"No, my child, you are lying!" Old Man Thiel burst into excitement and shouted hoarsely: "Joan, now only you can help me get rid of this meaningless, pure pain... It's very simple, Only a small bottle of poison is needed!"
"No, you can't—" Joan tried to comfort the excited grandfather, but he was interrupted.
"Yeah, I can't... If I still have enough strength to end my life on my own, why should I ask someone for help." The old man shook his head with a smirk, "Look, I've lived a whole lot of age, and even a dog is not good at the end. How sad."
"Grandpa, it's not like that..." Joan couldn't say anything. The last thing he was good at in his life was comforting people, not to mention the need for comfort is his only relative in the world.
"Good boy, don't be sad, it's all my fault, my fault..." Seeing the grandson weeping anxiously, the old man of Tyre couldn't bear it, and murmured, "Joan... you said, what's the reason why people live?" "
Joan rubbed his swollen eyes and tried his best to provide his grandfather with a reasonable answer, although this question was really difficult.
"People are alive, perhaps to pursue happiness."
"Very good, people live to pursue happiness, right?"
"Then look at me and see how I am now, is there any happiness at all!"
"I know very well that I'm alive. I'm not afraid of the disease at all. I just hate the disease is not strong enough to rest me as soon as possible. I can only lie in bed and endlessly breathe, endure boredom and pain, let alone happiness, Even the last dignity of being a man is deprived!"
A severe cough interrupted the old man's indignant words.
The overwhelmed chest fluctuated sharply, as if a bellows was about to break, hissing out his breath.
Joan just heard this difficult gasp and had to admit that Grandpa's situation today is really better than death.
Old Man Thiel calmed his breath and held his grandson's hand. The wrinkled stacked eyes were slightly moist, and his face was earnest.
"Joan, my child, if you really love me, let me die happily... Getting rid of the torment of illness is the last happiness of this life for me."
Tears blurred Joan's eyes. Although his reason fully agreed with his grandfather's choice, he could not accept it emotionally and could only make weak consolations in pale language.
"Grandpa, you can't think that way, as long as you live, there is hope, you will be fine..."
The old man of Tyre smiled and shook his head bitterly, but his voice was bleak but there was a hint of indifference in the red dust.
"I'm old, boy, it's not just sickness and aging that kill me...the disease may be cured, but the life is determined by the sky, and it's useless to be reconciled."
"Child, you will one day grow old, you won't be able to get sick, and you will become like me and you will suffer one more minute for every extra minute of life."
"At that time, you will also yearn to take the initiative to end your life in your own hands and close your eyes with the last trace of dignity..."
"My boy, you can't understand this now because you are too young."
"Joan, when I was also as young as you, I dreamed of becoming a world hero. I even dreamed of my death countless times, and imagined that I was generous and justified for the cause of justice, and died with great glory."
"However, I am old, really old, and no longer expect to die like a hero. In fact, all I am begging is not to die too ugly, like a bad dog..."
"Joan, my grandfather only begged you this time, now only you can help me realize this last wish..."
Old Man Tell was at the end and couldn't help choking. Every begging was soaked in bitterness, making Joan both sad and embarrassed.
Think about it, if the person lying on the bed at the moment is himself, knowing that there is no hope of recovery, then it is better to take poison to end his life, so as not to suffer from suffering on the sickbed.
However, Joan couldn't bear to succumb to rational judgment, but the same thing was placed on his only relative.
Even if his grandfather's illness was not cured, and even if he lived for another minute, he would be tortured for another minute, Joan still preferred him to maintain the status quo until his old man died.
This kind of thinking is indeed in line with people's common sentiments, but it is so ruthless when it is investigated further.
How can an elderly man who has been ill to live for a few more days benefit him?
In the final analysis, it is just to satisfy your nostalgia for your loved ones, and to prove that you have fulfilled your filial piety by taking care of your sick grandfather, thereby reducing your inner guilt, and winning a good name of "filial piety" in the eyes of outsiders.
Yes, Joan had to admit that he did not want to distribute poison for his grandfather, against his will, and forcibly deprived him of the right to end his life. In fact, it was not for the sake of his grandfather, but to satisfy his vanity and to use his family name. Do something mean and selfish.
But what about that?
Everyone has humanity, and humanity always has a weak side.
Joan always feels strong enough and rational enough. Only then did he realize that he was just an ordinary person, and the will of reason would also succumb to weak emotions.
"I'm sorry, Grandpa..." Joe An choked back, "My heart is disturbed... Would you please give me some time to consider this matter?"
Old Man Thiel seemed to feel the pain and struggling of his grandson at the moment, and an unbearable expression appeared in his eyes, and said weakly:
"No, my child, I should say I'm sorry to you... what I asked you to do is too cruel for you, and it's normal to accept it emotionally...you go back and take a good rest."
Joan nodded, helped Axiom to deal with the quilt, and turned and walked out of the hut.
Closing the door, Joan breathed a sigh of relief, feeling as if he had just escaped from purgatory.
His relieved mentality made him wake up suddenly, and he couldn't help but produce a sharp question.
If you really care about your grandfather, why do you desperately want to escape from him?
Does this mean that his feelings for his grandfather are not so deep, is his heart disgusting the poor old man who has been tormented by aging and illness, just pretending to be filial?
The more he tortured his soul, the more Joan felt guilty, and looked up at the dark night sky, almost suppressed from breathing.
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